Laughin' Like It Works. Bleeding Like It Don't Hurt.

"I have to go now. Two-Bit's waiting for me and I don't like to be late." I said, turning towards the door. "Kitty." Sandy whipered patiently. "I'm sorry, but I really have to go. Jelly's out, Two-Bit needs to eat and I-" Suddenly, I was pulled back. Sandy was grabbing my wrist firmly, almost too tight. She stared at me intently. "Two-Bit can wait. This is more important." I sighed. I grabbed my jacket and put it on, caressing my arms in search for warmth. It wasn't even that cold, but I was freezing. "C'mon Kitty, talk to me. I don't judge." Sandy said but I wasn't listening. I paced around the room, towards the window. It was raining outide. Countless drops of water outside the crystal frame. You could almost gaze at your own reflection. "What good does talking do?" I said softly. "Lies, lies, lies. Tell me one thing and I'll twist it into a bitter lie." I sighed and slowly turned around. Leaving handprint on the window. "You really want me to tell you? I have no idea what the fuck am I doing. I really thought I had it under control. There are days when it's all fireworks and rockets around glitter. Everything's just perfect. I'm happy. But there are days when I'm not okay. When it hurts too much and there's no fucking off-botton." I took a deep breath. "It's gotten worst. I'm cold all the fucking time. I'm depressed. I'm sad. I can't sleep at night and there is always something that haunts me." I sniffed. "I can't hide it as well as I used to. Two-Bit sees right through me. He knows I'm not okay, but he doesn't want to talk about it. You know, I never truly understood the power of words till I looked him straight in the eye and lied." I sat down next to Sandy. "It's been the cause of several nasty fights between my brothers. Soda says that the only way I'll recover is by actually wanting to. But Darry is done putting up with it. He gave me an ultimatum. Either go to a treatment center or uh, stop hanging out with the rest of the gang." Sandy frowned for a moment. "Is he really gonna do that?" I shrugged. "I don't know. He was pretty serious about it." We stood there silent for long minutes. I was battling different thoughts in my head. A never-ending parade of 'is it worth it?'. Masochism on full speed. And a tough balance between either choice. "You know, maybe I'll just check in at a treatment center, get everyone off my back." Sandy looked at me uneasily. "I'm not telling you any more. I've done said enough." I said.
The next day I honked and waited for Sandy to come out. "What the fuck, Kitty?" She said. "If I'm doing this then you are too." And it took a dead glare from Mrs. Kitty Curtis-Mathews for Sandy to gulp and get in the passenger's seat. We mostly drove in silence. I wasn't in the mood for any talking and Sandy didn't seem up to breaking it either. Ten blocks down and she finally spoke. "Are you really sure about this?" I just gave her a look. "Okay..." Two more blocks of silence and I answered her question. "It's not a permanent thing. My plan is just to get this over with so Darry calms down and then you know-" I wasn't up to finishing that sentence. When we finally got there, Sandy followed me as I made my way to the front desk. After two hours of waiting, which is the worst thing they can do, we both got called up. I wasn't in the mood for any drama, so I just got in to do whatever it is that they wanted me to do. Another hour went by when I met Sandy outside. "So?" She asked. I shrugged. "Same old, same old." I was about to head back to the car when Sandy stepped in front of me. I looked down at her, towering her again, which I only do when I'm really pissed off. "What? That at eighteen, being 5'10 and weighting 88 pounds is the right path down to hell?" Sandy stared at me for a moment and I brushed it off. "Whatever." And I headed toward the car, brochures and a program in hand.

The Truth About A Fetus

"I think it's time to tell them the truth." Two-Bit said as we were cuddling together. "Why? It doesn't get old." I said. "Kit, it's been four months, I think they are starting to notice." "Don't be silly, they're not that bright." But Tibbs was nervous. He kept nagging me about it. "Tell them. Tell them. Tell them." He would go on and on. A week ago we were at the Curtis place. Darry had invited us for dinner, which is weird since he never invites us for anything. He doesn't love us anymore. :'( Anyway, after we ate he sat us on the couch and told us he wanted to show us something. He pulled out a tape (yes, a tape) and if you know my family, then you know that a tape never brings out good things. We sat there wondering what the fuck this was all about and in a moment, BANG a woman giving birth appears on the screen. To make matters worst it was my MOM giving birth to ME! That's wrong on so many levels. Then he rewind it a couple of times. When it was FINALLY over, we where too shocked or too sick to do anything other than just sit there and stare with our mouths hanging open. "Good luck." Darry said leaving us alone.

You would think that it would be me the one to be freaked out about it. At some point I was but then I just stopped thinking about it. There was something more important. When Two-Bit finally convinced me we gathered everyone for the news. "Hey guys, thanks for coming." I said. "We have a confession to make." Add words like confession and make and you got yourselves all eyes on you. "You won't be uncles or aunts or godparents. At least not for now." And then the tackling of questions like 'why?', 'how?', 'what?' and my personal favorite 'yay!' from Bre. "Ok so here's the truth, when we were on our honeymoon, Two-Bit and I thought it would be hilarious to prank y'all so we decided to convinced you I was pregnant. It was hilarious at first, because we got to see all your 'WTF' faces and all. It kept being funny up until it became real. I mean, the way you girls were all like 'oh! have you picked out names?' or 'yay Shiloh will have a cousin', well, it all felt nice. So we actually tried to do it. And when we couldn't we went to a doctor, who told us we can't have any kids. Well, I can't have any kids." The room went silent, which wasn't the reaction I had hoped. "Okay, I thought you were all gonna be happy. No teenage pregnancy." We waited patiently for everyone to take it all in, until Jelly asked the question I really hoped no one had the guts to ask.

"Why?" Why? Because that's the way I am. Because I've dragged this on myself. Because the slight chance I had was washed down the toilet, literally. "Just the way things are." So no freaky giving birth video. When no one said anything, Two-Bit and I just snuck away into our bedroom and locked the door. We had to have a good night sleep for our big trip to Europe ;).

In The Realm Of The Curtises

The moment the words came out of my mouth I was literally being tackled with questions. How long have you known? Did you plan it? When is it due? Is it a boy or girl? Have you thought names? Who will be the godparents? Are you gonna move out? Woah! Slow down, people. One at a time. Darry walked over to me and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Yeah, family meeting." He said grabbing my wrist leading me towards his room and instructing Soda and Pony to follow him. I closed the door silently behind me. Darry paced around the room for a second before turning to look at me. You're pregnant?" He said in utter shock. "How did it happen?" I sighed. "Well, when a boy loves a girl very much, he gives her his flower for her to keep and-" "I know how it was done. What I mean is, I just- I need to sit down." There went Darry's whole manliness out the door. "I think what Darry's trying to say, Kitty, is that we still see you as our little sister. And well, the fact that there's new life growing inside of you is just-" "So weird!" Pony interrumpted. "I was going to go for- Nope, he's right, weird is pretty much it." Soda said sitting down next to Darry. "Oh good God, what is up with you guys? It's just a baby. I have nine months to figure it all out. I mean, it can't be that hard. Blair does it." No offense B. :)

"Have you actually talked, like really talked, to Blair about it. 'Cause we know Dally sure as hell has a hard time. And, well, you're not exactly the most responsible person in the world." Pony said. I shot the sixteen year-old a glare and he shut up. I refused to believe anything of what he was saying could be slighlty true. "You don't think I can do it, do you?" "Yeah, pretty much." They said in unision. "Fine, I'll prove to you I can." I said stepping out of the room. I wasn't really that pissed up, but they had just fiven me a challenge. A dare. I walked into a room fulled of curious faces. I kissed Two-Bit passionetly and he lifted me up bridal style. "Dim, Jelly, need a ride home?" I asked. "Uh, no thanks Kit. We don't want to witness you getting it on." Dim said probably thinking about that time with the cop and the awkwardness of it all. I know I was. "We don't get it on in the car, Dimwit." I said.

"So, that went well." Two-Bit said. I chuckled. "Yeah, imagine what it would have been like had my parents been alive? Mom would've probably shoot you." He laughed. "Before or after she killed you first?" "Probably after." We started kissing, leaving our clothes splashed through the entire apartment. And you know what happens next. We laid down on our bed cuddling. This is probably my best part. He was caressing my hand and I could hear the soft beating of his heart. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. "Well, we just sort of made it official." "Yeah, I know, but we don't have to do it, if you don't want to." I smiled, he pulled me closer. "I know." He began kissing my arm softly. "You do realize that now that Jelly knows she's probably going to tell her dad. And that he'll probably want to check you out?" I nodded. "And how we're going to you know what?" "I don't know, but I'll think about something." I said looking up to kiss him. "Je t'aime mon petit amie." "I love you too, Kitty."

Good To You

"You know, this would all be more romantic if you hadn't dragged me all the way from my bed, make me ride shotgun and kidnap me against my will." I said as Two-Bit started the engine. "Where are we going, anyway?" "The airport." He said simply. A smile plastered across his face, of immense pride and no good. "The airport?" First thought: He's kidding. Second thought: No, he's not. Third thought: Damn. When we pulled towards airport, Soda was waiting for us. The smile on Two-Bit's face didn't dissapear. And it was starting to freak me out. He took out our bags, and I stared at them in disbelief. "Two-Bit-" But he cut me off, 'cause he knew what I was about to ask. He's been reading my mind like that for a while now. "Don't worry, it was Jelly who did it." He checked in our bags, as I waited with Soda. He was chuckling insanely and I was starting to get pissed off. Why couldn't they just tell me? "Okay, everything's ready." Two-Bit said holding our passports and tickets in his hand. "Soda." He said tossing my brother my car keys. I was about to protest when he kissed me on the cheek and we said our goodbyes. Two-Bit didn't let me see where we were going. He literally had me blindfolded after we got through security. "So, my little Kitty." He said once we were in our seats. "How does it feel to not be in control?" I punched him lightly on the ribs but smiled. I had to admit the whole plane-kidnap was kind of romantic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Cancun." The flight attendance said once we landed. I turned to look at Two-Bit. "Cancun, really?!" He smiled proudly. "Happy honeymoon, sweetie." He said kissing me. Out of all the places in the world, the beach is my second favorite. The first is his arms. We checked in at the Mayan Palace, put on our swimsuits (thank you Jelly, for not letting Two-Bit pack my things) and hit the beach. For the next few weeks, our days consited on waking up late, breakfast in bed (courtesy of the friends we made the last time we were here), hanging out in the beach, dress up, go around town and them hit any party going on at the local bars until the sun came up (literally).

We where laying down on the beach, Two-Bit was asleep. He had a little to many Pi;a Coladas. So, I being the nice wife that I am, buried him in the sand. Thank god he's not a light sleeper. It took me an hour, plus the help of a little girl, to shape the sand around him like a six-pack, with muscles filled with manhood. I told you I wanted that six-pack. Finally, when we finished, I took the little girl for a well-deserved ice-cream, and left Two-Bit all alone! Anyway, the little girl had friends and a hot brother ;) So they invited me on this thing called a Banana. It's an inflatable sort of boat, but shaped as a banana! You sit on it and a boat drags you around the sea. Pretty funny. After a couple of hours, I realized, I may have forgotten about something. Two-Bit was still buried in the sand battling to get free. Funniest thing I've ever seen! He asked me to help him. I refused by signing up for surf lessons. Epic stuff. You should all try it sometime. After getting hit by an unhealthy amount of waves, not fun, I decided it was time to help poor Two-Bit. Turns out, he managed to get out all by himself. I'm proud. That's when the epic battle between good and awesome broke!

He signed up for surf lessons with me, we were fooling around when he snuck behind me and untied my swimsuit. -.- Bad move. Guys, piece of advice. NEVER untie a girl's swimsuit, blouse, or bra unless she asks you too. It's not cool. I sank into the water as I tried to tie it again. I didn't get angry. It was a well-deserved payback. But it cost dear Mr. Keith a week-worth of no sexual activity. Anyway, the next few days we traveled around the town buying all sorts of gifts for us. Sorry guys, it was either you or us, and well let's face it, us is better. But we did send postcards! One day we went to the tip of the Mexican penninsula. The prettiest place I've ever seen. We were laying on the beach, holding hands. I could stay like that forever. "I don't want to go, but we have to." I said. "No, we don't." Two-Bit said. I turned to look at him. "What do you mean, we don't?" I asked. "Well, I wasn't sure how long you wanted this to last, so I bought no return ticket." He said. My face lit up in joy. "You mean we never have to come back?!" I asked. "Not if you don't want to." And I didn't. We went MIA all July, until finally, Darry got a hold of us. -.- He figured we weren't coming back if it was up to us so he bought us a return ticket. -.- Oh well, it was too good to be true.

When we got back, Darry and Soda were waiting for us, along with every one of you people. "Don't worry, it's not like we where going to live without you." I lied but oh well. Sometimes I feel like I'm married to you guys instead of just Two-Bit. But I get it, you can't live without me and as flattered as I am, it pisses me off. But that month was the best vacation I've ever had. Thank you, Tibbs for a great honeymoon. Oh and maybe, we can tell the gang our little secret. ;)

Spend Forever With You

The alarm went off silently and I rolled over to the side to push it to the ground. The sun was bright and shinning through the curtains. I hide underneath my covers hoping to catch even the slightly drop of sleep before waking up. Then I opened my eyes as I stared at the ceiling. That's when I realized what day it was. It's my Wedding Day. I had to say it out loud before believing it. Over the past few weeks we've gone through every last minute yet important detail. Final dress check up, the cake, making sure everything was perfect at the venue, the shoes, Two-Bit's tux, the bridesmaids dresses, the makeup and hair appointments, the flowers, the guest list. Everything had to be done at least the night before. And it was. Everyone please give a big round of applause to Miss Angelica Winston and Miss Dawn Cade that because of their eternal love towards moi, stayed up almost all night making sure everything went as planned. Thank you, girls.

I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Jelly prepared some breakfast for the two of us. She kicked Two-Bit out last night because the bride and the groom aren't supposed to see each other on their wedding date and so he slept over at Dimitri's. When she finished, she ordered me to go get a shower so I did. The girl's started arriving around eleven, along with our make-up/hair stylist friend that was conveniently invited to the wedding ;). She wanted to see the dress first to give her an idea. She spent two hours on me, I swear I've never sat down that long before. I was anxious to get up and have something to do. When she was finally done. I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked gorgeous, even better that usual. And I looked just like my mother. I've never really noticed the resemblance before but I was amazed at how much we look a like. I walked out of my room. "So, what do you think?" I asked my lovely ladies while I stricked a pose. "You know, I always thought I would get a whore as a sister-in-law but I guess my prayers were answered." Jamie said with relief. Yeah, I guess I can't really blame her. Jelly and Dawn were ready and so we drove to my home before getting to the venue. "We're here." I yelled and here comes Darry and Pony, Pony having a difficult time fixing his tie, idiot, and Darry standing all well Darry-like.

"Go on, put your dress on." Darry said as Jelly followed me with my dress and shoes. My brothers went on one car and Dawn, Jelly, Katie and me rode in another. When we got the venue everyone was there and so my bridesmaids and me, we waited at the bride's room before the ceremony began. The girls spend some time with me and some other time talking to the rest of the people, so I was alone for a while until Darry and Soda came in. "Where's Pony?" "Making out with Brooke." Soda said. "Right, just make sure he doesn't mess with her too much." Then I took a deep breath. "Hey, how are you?" Darry said. I chuckled. "A little nervous but other than that great. Magnificent, actually. Better than I've felt in a long a time." "Good to know." Then Darry walked over to me and gently caressed my cheek. "Mom and Dad would've been proud." I smiled. "Yeah. I just wish they could be here." And I looked down for a moment but Darry raised my chin. "They are here, they are always here, in our hearts. We just got to remember." Then he looked around his pocket and took out a small navy box. He was holding a beautiful diamond bracelet that he placed around my wrist. "Mom wanted you to have this. It belonged to our great-grandmother. She was really proud of you, Kit." A small tear left my eye and they hugged me. Darry kissed my forehead and Soda gently punched my shoulder. Then they left. Jelly and Dawn came running after. "It's time!" Dawn said.

Everyone was sitting at the infinite amount of benches. The bridesmaids walked with their respected partner as I waited for my escort. "Hey." Dim said as he stood by my side. "You look beautiful." "So I've been told." "Well, let's go then." He extended his arm and I took it. Everyone got up the moment they saw me coming and the music started playing. And as I walked down the aisle I could feel my legs slightly shaking. Then I saw him. Standing there. Not a doubt whatsoever. Very proud of his decision. And I knew then that everything would be more than okay. Dimitri kissed my cheek and placed my hand on Two-Bit's. And the priest started.

"We're gathered here today to join Keith Andrew Mathews and KitKat Sarah Curtis in matrimony. Who gives this woman to be married?" "I do but she gives herself freely." Dimitri said and I turned to wink at him. "It is commonly seen that young couples decide to say traditional vows, but anyone who knows Two-Bit and Kitty knows they are fat from traditional. So I wasn't surprised when they informed me they were going to write their own. Kitty?" I looked from Two-Bit to the priest and then back at Two-Bit. I took a deep breath before starting and then everything seemed so natural.

"Two-Bit, three hundred and sixty-four days ago you asked me to marry you. Three hundred and thirty-one days ago I said yes. And that month that we spend apart I realized I can't imagine my life without you. I said yes because we are meant to be together, even we're apart. Ever since we were little we have a bond that's so strong that nothing and no one can ever brake it. You're my friend. You listen when I talk, you wipe my tears when I cry, and you tell the joke that makes me laugh. I can be myself. I can act silly, I can be sarcastic, I can be cynical or a hopeless romantic and you love me just the same. You believe in me even in the moments when I don't believe in myself. So I give you my soul, my heart, and my love."

And then Two-Bit said his vows. The priest looked us both and he smiled. "Two-Bit, will you take this woman to be your beloved wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heatlh, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part?" "I do." "Kitty, will you take this man to be your beloved husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part?" I took Two-Bit's hand, looked deep into those gorgeous gray eyes and said the two words more lovable and trustful than you can say to someone. "I do." And we exchanged rings. Finally, the priest looked at us and finished. "I may now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." And with that, Two-Bit hold me close, looked for a moment at my blue eyes and kissed me. The priest was right. Till death do us part.

Terrible Twos My Ass

Yesterday was my time to baby sit...again. Just this time it was Blaze and Carter double trouble. Damn that Blair. I woke up to the sound of freaking knocks on my door. Two-Bit was knocked out from his nineteen-hour drive and Jelly was, god knows where the bitch was, but it was me who had to open the fricking door. "What?" I growled. It was Blair with her two little...things, for lack of a better word. "Would you babysit? Yes? Alright. Thank you." And just like that I was left with two kids and a backpack. Yayness... not. I sighed and carried Blaze. "Come little minions. It's time for breakfast." So I don't know what they eat so I just took out some chocolate cake that Soda left here the other day and served it to them with some milk. The little fuckers like to throw cake around the kitchen. In no time it was a Blaze-Carter vs Kitty fight and I won. Muahahahahaha. But that just made them cry. -.- Just then a sleepy sloppy Two-Bit walked into the kitchen. "What's going on here?" "Well, handsome, your sister left me this two to babysit and they're being pussies cause I beat them in an epic cake fight." "Really? Man, they always beat me!" He said. Two year-olds beating a nineteen year-old? Now that's something you don't see every day. "Okay, let me hop on a shower and then I'll come help ya." He said. "That'd be awesome." I said. Meanwhile I half cleaned the kitchen and all.

I have that song "Friday" stuck in my head. I wanna kill the motherfucker that had that playing all day at school. -.-

So Tibbs took both of them into the tub with him, lord almighty knows what they might've seeen there, well, I do know and I personally like it but I can't say the same for Blaze or Carter. I hoped into the tub too, but I used a bathing suit cause we are trying to keep it PG and all. And little Carter was pulling off the bra thingy. Like seriously! He was poking...there. Two-Bit got jealous. "Hey! Those are mine." And so he started to splash Carter and Carter splashed back. Soon enough they where chasing each other. Meanwhile, Blaze, the only smart one, hugged me while those two killed each other. The shower was fun, but it wasn't the best part. We took them to the park. Apparently kids don't like the merry-go-round a whole lot when they are stuffed. It was some funny shit watching them crumbled for their balance. Miniature drunkies! :D

We got home them and we had another epic food fight. Pizza fight. Blair is so gonna kill us. But what can I say? Baby food is some nasty shit. After playing some twister and some horseback riding, (I was on top for most of the game ;)) we finally got them to go to sleep. "Hey." I wrapped my arms around Two-Bit as he hold Blaze. "We finally got some alone time." "Yeah." He said kissing my cheek. "You know what I was thinking, you know as we took care of the little ones?" I lifted Carter and sat down on the floor next to Two-Bit. "What?" "Would we make good parents? You know, hypothetically speaking of course." Kids are in a distant future plan. Two-Bit kind of shivered. "I dunno, Kit. I mean, I guess. But, I don't know." I kissed his cheek. "I'm scared about that. I mean, there's no goddamn rule book or anything and one screw up can cause a lot of damage, but it can't be that hard. I mean, I know how I want to be." I paused for a moment. "I went to see my mom and dad the other day. Their graves were empty so layed down some flowers. And I started talking to them, and I realized I had a hell of a lot more to say to my dad than I had to my mom. I barely spoke to my mother when she was alive. We had more fights than the jews and muslims and I don't want that for my kids. I want them to have a relationship with me, but you know, sometimes I have my doubts. You'll be a great father, though. I just know it." He smiled and kissed me and for a moment, I forgot I was holding a little kid, otherwise I would've gotten more. "You'll be a great mom too, Kitty." And we just kept on kissing until we fell asleep. Then we woke up to the sound of Blaze drinking from a beer bottle we had forgot to put away. Hehe.

Even In The Worst Time We'll Pull Through

"I think...I think I'm pregnant." Woah I did not see that one coming. I think I scared Jelly out of my mind by the mere look on my face. I froze. My whole face went pale. My hands were clenched into tight fists. You could see the veins by the visibility of my skin. Then I realized I was probably making it all worst so I relaxed and chuckled. "Right. Good one, Jelly. You had me scared to dead for a second there." Well of course I made a joke about it! What else was I supposed to do when one of your best friends tells you she's pregnant?! I mean, sure, I could rub it in her face a hundred times 'I told you so.' but that wouldn't help at all. And It's not like I could pin her to the floor and chop her balls off either. She's the one holding the freaking baby. Then I remembered. Dimitri. His name was buzzing in my head. Must. Kill. Freaking. Dimwit. I sighed. There might be blood. I walked towards Jelly. I think she was scared of me because she took a step away when I touched her. But I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her. I hugged her. I hugged her really tightly. "It's okay, Jelly. We'll find a way to make it all right." And I mean it. I mean, whatever the thing turned out to be, we can always find a way to make it all better. "You're tired." I said as I pulled a strand of hair out of her face. "Why don't you go to sleep?" And I left her wrapped between her sheets, closed her door, and went straight for the door.

He had barely a towel on when I pin him down and hit him... where it hurts. "Kit, what the fuck?" He groaned. I leaned down so my face would be inches away from his. "I told you I'd kill you." I must admit that that did sound very mafia like but oh well. I turned around and left. I spend the next day with Jelly just talking. She had told Dimitri and she told me about his reaction, about what she herself was feeling and I suddenly felt really bad for her. At one point or another, I talked to Two-Bit about it. "What are we gonna do?" He asked. "I don't know. I mean, I never seen her so down. And I can't do anything to make it okay." Two-Bit leaned in and kissed the top of my head. "I'll help you there. I'll try to make her laugh a little. Ya know, take her mind of things. It'd be a Two-Bit/Jelly epic adventure." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek softly. "Thank you." So I left Jelly again sitting on the couch watching a Brat Pack special on TV with Two-Bit by her side and headed out.

It was the middle of the night. I had to walk to his place. My car was still being fixed up. There where no lights on but I let myself in anyway. I walked up to his room. No Dimitri. I knew he hadn't gone out cause Chase was sound asleep and snoring in his. So I looked for him everywhere. In the bathroom, below the stairs, in the living room, until I finally found him sitting on the kitchen floor with a bottle of whiskey by his side. He was half drunk. Sigh. He barely looked at me when I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. "Hey." I said sweetly. We were silent for five long minutes. For a second I thought he really wasn't going to say anything. But just before I could open my mouth to speak, he spoke. "I thought we where being careful. I thought there was nothing to worry about. I never wanted to be one of those people. Ya know, the ones that have kids everywhere simply because they don't know how to use a fucking condom." He wasn't looking at me and he took the bottle again to take a sip. I snatched it away. Half drunk was already bad enough. "I thought I was smarter than this." He said, his voice was sore and trembling. He was almost cracking up. I pulled him close into a hug. "There, there, Dimmy. It's okay. We all make mistakes. I mean, God knows I have my fair share of them. We're not perfect. Sure you may have use all the precautions but sometimes this things happen anyway. And you got two choices. You can either let it get the best of you, give in to the fear and let it turn this into a tragedy. Or you can embrace it, look for things that would make if better. I mean, we're not even sure if Jelly is really and a hundred percent pregnant. And you guys love each other. If anyone can make it through this is you guys." "But Kitty, I'm scared." "Oh honey, I know it's scary. Believe me, I know how scary things can be. But I also know that things are better if you don't let fear conquer you." "But Kitty-" He started again but I caught him off. "No Dimitri, no." I held his face between my hands and made him look directly at me. "I'm gonna give you five seconds. You can be scared out of your mind, scream, yell, cry, do whatever you want. Let fear take completely oer. But you only got five seconds. Then, you'll stand on you're two feet and get your act together. Do it for Jelly, all right." He nodded. He got comfortable and ready. "Okay. You can go." I swear to God he was almost shaking. "One...two...three...four...five." He said. I wasn't sure if that would make him feel better but at least it would make him have a little control over himself. "Oh Dimitri." I said when he turned to look at me. He was doing his best to keep up the brave act. It's funny who we go back and forth with saving each other. :) "It'll be okay. We'll make it through this." I said and I hugged him. We just stayed like that, hugging each other. Until he fell asleep and I fell asleep.

Even in the worst of times we'll pull through, 'cause we're greasers and that's what we do.

Right Here, Right Now, Just Us

"KitKat Sarah Curtis! Where the fucking hell have you been? No call. You just disappear! You know I had Tim and Dally and Steve look all over town for you." I knew I was in slight trouble when Two-Bit used my full name. I knew he must've been worried sick. I mean, he sent Dallas. "I'm sorry. I-" But he didn't let me finish, because the moment he saw me he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close. I could barely breathe as he hold me close to his chest. I could hear his heart beating. Slow and regular. He'd never hugged me that way. No one has. I had forgotten about the warmth of his skin. The way my body relaxed by the mere touch. I felt protected. He hugged as though he didn't want to let me go. He hugged me like he wanted me to become a part of him. And I just wanted to be in his arm. After slow seconds he was starting to pull away. "No." I said and I clenched my hands to his shirt. I wasn't willing to let him go either. I couldn't see his face, but he kissed me on the forehead as he lifted me and carried me to our bed. He put me down and wrapped his arm around me. "Two-Bit?" I whispered. "Yeah?" "How come you worry so much about me? I mean, I was gone for like a day." He was silent for a second. Then he leaned closer and pushed me towards him. My face inches from his. "Because I love you, Kitty. Even when we where just friends I took care of you. I really want to be the one who protects you. The one who you can count on. The one you can talk to." He kissed me gently on the cheek. "You see, I'm stealing Dimitri's place as the best friend." I kissed him. "You don't have to worry about that. You're first on my book."

So what happened on those two days that we were away? Dealing with Miss Sandy Davis should be cconsidered an Oympic Sport. Her freaking hormones annoy the shit out of me. We just mostly talked. About everything. It felt weird, you know. I'm usually the one that has to hold it together. The one that is always on one piece. So being the patient and not the doctor was a whole new expirence for me. I can't personally say I liked it. Actually, I don't think I ever want to go through it again, but I promised Sandy and unfortunatley I like to keep my promises. Do I want to talk about it? Not really. But what's to tell anyway? It is all nicely written in Sandy's blog, so if you're that curious go check it out.

When I woke up the next morning, Two-Bit was still asleep. There is no greater feeling than waking up next to him. The wake up part beats the sex part of the night. And if you say anything Dallas against it I will cut your balls off. But no pressure. :P I stood up to try not to wake him and went to the kitchen. I had planned something special for him that morning. I had Dimitri and Chase run errands all morning. They brought me chocolate, milk, eggs, sugar, and some other cooking stuff. I was gonna make brownies. And no, not from the instant receipe that comes in the boxes. Two-Bit's favourite brownies have to be made from scratch. Let me tell you, just because you're doing something with all your heart does it make it any less difficult. Chase and Dimwit were enjoying my lack of cooking abilities. They offered to help but I turned them down... for the 100th time. "No!" I said growling at them. "I got to make this! I just have to get this right on my own." I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I just really wanted something to go right. I wanted something to go as planned. I really just needed that feeling of satisfaction. Eventually Two-Bit got up and I was almost finished. "Ah! Go back to bed." I ordered him. So I set everything up and brought it over to the room. "Did someone ordered Breakfast in Bed?" I said putting the tray down. "Kitty?" He asked as he looked at the tray. "Are these my mother's brownies?" I kissed him. "I love you, Two-Bit Mathews." So we sat down and we ate and we joked around and we talked. And those are the moments that are truly amazing.

Later on, we took a walk. "Where are we going?" Two-Bit asked. We had been walking for over an hour, past the South Side, into the forest. "I'm sorry about the walk, it's just that Dimitri is fixing up Sheila and all." "You named your car?" "Hells to the yeah." "Okey..." And I slapped him on the side of the head for dramatical effect. We all know tha dark forest that surrounds the south side and the stories our parents used to tell us to keep us away. No surprised your little friend decided to check them out one day a couple of years ago. About a twenty minute walk from the entrance and into the heart of the woods, there is a small meadow. Oak trees surrounded it and there is so little light that its always shadowy and cool. It's perfect to lie down and think. And beyond that meadow, there is a cliff, and it's the scene you've ever seen. It's my favourite place in the world. "What is this?" Two-Bit said. "Do you remember how I used to tell you that one day I wanted to go visit London and Paris and all those magic places?" He nodded. "Well, this is my Paris and my London, and my Tulsa. This is the only place in the world where there are no greasers or socs. Where people are just that, people. I come here when something's bothering me or when I just want to be alone. This is my sacred place. It's called Kitty's Point. Because here is where everything conects. Where everything makes sense." Two-Bit looked around and then he lifted me up and swing me. "Now we can call it Two-Bit and Kitty's Point." We sat around the edge of the cliff watching the clouds. We saw the birds and the butterflies enjoying the spring. "Two-Bit, this place is beautiful." "It sure is." "Two-Bit," I leaned towards him so he could see me. "Why don't we get married? Right here. Right now. Just us."

Don't You Ever Ever Feel Like You're Less Than Fucking Perfect

87. 87 is dangerland. 87 is parties and laughs and hugs and kisses. 87 is too real it scares me. Yet, 87 is what it is. And it doesn't seem to go away. 87 is beauty. 87 is strength. 87 is weakness. 87 is freedom. 87 is respect. 87 is everything there is. Is 87 happiness? I hear voices in my head. "It is not worth it." They say. I hear others. "It's what you want." Is it? Is it really? Because it comes a point where I really don't know. It is just the space between my bones and my skin. I'm wrapped up in a porcelain frame. 87 is dangerous. It doesn't seem to go up but it goes down. 87 is good. Not perfect, but good. I raised a glass of shallow water. I drank it. I felt how the water slowly fell of my jaw. It feels watery and flavourless. Water has been my companion for ten months now. Ten months and I've managed to survive. I must be really lucky. Or really unlucky.

I got outside my door. The living room is empty. The kitchen is empty. Jelly's room is empty. There's no one home. So I lock myself in the bathroom. Like I have done many times before. I stare at myself in the mirror and I do the unthinkable. I lift up my shirt and take off my pants. I had to buy new ones so they would fit. The others, they don't understand, hell, I don't think I understand. I leaned towards the mirror and I look, like really look. I look at my face, at my chest, at my stomach, at my thighs, at everything that forms me. And I wonder, do I like it? I love my face. It's the face of an angel. The face a million girls would die for. I stare at my chest. It's not flat, but I could do better. You can see my ribs sticking out and bones marked were my breasts should be. I dare to go lower. My stomach is shrinking on itself, ready to make my throw up if I let it. I never imagined myself like this, then again, I never did I not imagined myself like this either. I finally look down, to all that there is and all that's been holding me up. I look for something to lean on, but all I see are two sticks holding me. Two long and skinny sticks that feel like they might give up any second. It's as if though I'm a ghost. It feels like I'm floating. Am I?

I stare down at the toilet. I feel like I'm about to lose it. I sit down. I can't. It's not right. It never has been. I lean on the wall and slowly let myself fall. I sit. I pressed my legs against my chest. I need to tell someone. I really do. It's eating me. How do you want to die? From the outside-in or from the inside-out? But no one will understand. No one can really feel what I'm feeling. No one can know what I'm really thinking. No one will understand no matter how hard they try. So who to tell? I tried before, I told Dimitri, but he didn't get it. He didn't understand. He didn't tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. What is it that I want to hear? Soda laid out all kinds of sentences. Sentences and words. They don't mean much. Do they mean anything at all? I start breathing heavily. My heart is pounding fast. I can feel each heart beat pressing up against my chest. One breath at a time. I sniff quietly.

The first time they found out... Dimmy told me to talk about. "Kitty, you don't have to hold it together every minute of every day." Hmm. Yeah, I do. I really do. Because if I don't, I lose control, and for a girl me, a girl that has to put up with this shit every minute of every day, losing control leads to dangerland. I feel like crying again. Lately, that seems to be the only thing I ever do. Cry and cry and cry some more. What happened to me? I've cried more this past year than I had in the past six or so years. I really just needed to talk to someone. So I grabbed my phone and searched through the contact list. Only one person knows how I'm feeling. I called Sandy. "Hey." I said as she picked up. "What wrong?" She asked. I can't even begin to wonder how my voice sounded that she of all peopled noticed. "I need to talk to you." I said. When I hung up, I stood up and I put my clothes and as I did my mind kept wondering.

I am that girl. The girl that people watch go by. The girl that the boys just stare at the pretty face because there's nothing more to stare at. The girl that the other girls talk to. "Tell us your secret." They say. Hmm. As if this was something to be excited about. A couple of days ago a little girl came to me. A freshman. Boy are they naive. She asked me how do I do it? How did I get so skinny? Because she'd been trying. And she couldn't get herself to be pretty. Did she really think I did this on purpose? Did she really think I wanted it? I've always loved myself. I've always loved the way I look. It all stared July. 110, tall and perfect. Then I made the mistake or running away. And that month, I lost ten. And then, it just didn't seem to stop. I had made my body used to it, so that it would ask for less and less. Then a 100 turned into 90 and 90 turned into the magical number 87. Dangerland. Ten months, over the course of ten months I lost 23. Great. So when I looked at the little girl and I saw her a flash of guilt rushed through my skin. She was startled by my figured. Impressed with my body and style. Her eyes were glowing as she waited for me to answer her, as if I was her fairy godmother and I could give her everything she ever wanted. So I answered. "Piece of advice kid, you're beautiful. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And you, you don't want this." And I turned around and left. Truth is, that little girl hadn't been the first, and unfortunately not the last either. Do they think I really wanted this? Do they want it so badly? Fine, they can take it, 'cause I'm so done with it. So sick of it.

So when I heard about Sandy, about the official diagnosis and the fact that she was locked up I thought I knew what to do. I drove there and when I rushed to her room, I packed her things and told her we where making a run for it. Just a small one. Driving had always calmed me. Sometimes when I was really upset about something I would take the truck for a drive in the middle of the night. Just around the north side. "Where are we going?" I did not think this through. I shrugged without looking at Sandy. "Where do you want to?" She shrugged too so I just kept on going. I didn't realize we had left Tulsa until we saw small villages around us. I didn't want to go back so I just kept driving. The clock marked 11:34 and I could hardly see straight. "I think we should go back." I nodded. Unfortunately I thought so too. But when I turned around there was a nasty sound coming from the engine. Ugh. That didn't sound good. I was pushing hard on the accelerator but I was only barely moving. So I pulled up to the side and inside the forest. I guess we shall call it a night and set up camp or something.

It's not a good thing when your car brakes down in the middle of fucking no where. "We can't just stay here! What are we gonna do?" Sandy asked. "Well, it's not like there's some kind of hotel nearby. We stay here until I fix this." "Yeah? And how are you gonna fix it?" "It can't be that hard to fix a car. Soda does it." Suddenly I wish I had listened to my brother when he tried and failed to explain me mechanics. So after an hour of calming hormonal Sandy -.- and setting up our little improvised camp, I took a look at the engine. So I pulled some stuff here and cleaned some stuff there and yeah. "How is it?" Sandy asked. "I got no effing clue." "What?" She asked. "You've been doing this for over half an hour." "Yeah well, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." I snapped, leaning against the hood with my greasy hands over my head. "Sometimes I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." Sandy took a deep breath and closed the hood of the car. She took my arm and dragged me to sit by the fire she had set up. "I really think you should talk about it. About whatever that's bothering you."

There's So Much You Can Learn But You Don't Want To Know

Sometimes there are some things that are better left forgotten. Like a childhood memory. Or a bad expirence there. Or the fact that someone close to you, as in blood close, might've shared more with you than they are supposed to.

So Dimitri, Jelly, Katie, Soda, Blair, Dallas, Chase, Dawn, Steve, Darry, Pony, Two-Bit and I were all hanging out on the house. As in the official Curtis Residence. And we were doing what we do best, well, what we do second best which is chat and talk and pretty much waste each other's time. And we were talking about the old times. And Soda and Steve, besides their usual argument about how supposedly it is Steve's fault that everyone now know Soda's petite, which is really not true, stupid Soda just misinterpret what was said, they were fighting over Jelly. "I can't believe you kissed Jelly! She was my girlfriend!" "Dude, it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't really matter." "Matter?!" And that's when Soda stood up to size Steve up. "It fucking matters to me!" And Steve with his cocky personality just folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Why?" He said as though it was no big deal. "Because the night you kissed Jelly was the night I kissed Jelly for the very first time." Jelly almost chocked on her drink. "What? You kissed her that night too?" And that's when Steve got up. We all turned to look at Jelly, who was turning tomato red and tried not to laugh. All except Dimitri, who I think was starting to get pissed. I guess it hasn't been Jelly's most faithful week. Oops. "Two guys in one night?" Blair scoffed. "That's nothing." "Yeah." Dally just added but he got eyed so he shut up. "And here I was thinking she became a slut after she came back from Seattle." Jelly gave me the middle finger and I blow her a kiss.

"Okay, tell me when did this happen?" Steve asked. "After you told me that she was passed out in my room, I went in there to make sure she was alright. She was lying on my bed, all buried in coats or whatever it was. Well, I went to kiss her on the forhead but it was so dark I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away but then I felt her kissing me back. It was only for a second but it was amazing. And now I found out that you kissed her first!" Soda said stomping his feet like a little boy. "Wait, what bed did you say she was on?" He took a step closer to Soda and looked like he was trying to figure out something. Soda frowned for a moment. "Well, mine." He said as though stating the obvious. "Dude, I'm pretty sure I put her on Kitty's bed." Steve said pointing at me. "No, she was defintely on my bed." "Can you cut it out on the beds?" Blair interrumpted. "No! The beds are important." Steve said not looking away from Soda. "Soda, why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed? I mean we all know that's just self-destruction." "Yeah." We all agreed. "Well then who was on my bed?" Soda asked.

I turned to look at Jelly and whispered. "Jell-O, what night was this?" I asked. She leaned in closer, like she was trying to avoid Dimitri from listening. "Do you remember that party that Soda threw when your parents were away on a camping trip? How it got totally crashed because they got home early?" "Yeah." I said and that's when it hit me. I think my eyes got all wide as I yelled. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" Everyone turned to look at me because I was seriously freaking out from what I had just figured out. Soda was the first one to make sense of it. "No! No! No!" He yelled. "Yes!" I yelled back standing up a little too fast that I dropped my drink. "You were the one passed out on my bed?" I nodded nervously. "Uh huh." "Kit! What the hell were you doing on my bed?!" "I couldn't find my way to mine! I was too drunk to do anything!" I yelled in defence. "OH MY GOD!" Soda said putting a hand over his chest. Perhaps to prevent his heart from virtually ripping off his chest. I know, I was feeling the same way. "You were my mystery kisser?" "Hm. This just keeps getting better and better." Dally said leaning back on the couch. We ignored him. "The hell with that! You were my first kiss with Jelly?!" "You were my first kiss EVER?!" Oh god, I could feel all my insights moving in ways they shouldn't. It's one thing to have your first kiss and not know who it was. It's another one completely to have it with your older brother.

"Um, you guys, does that mean we get to see you two make out now?" Dimitri said as he could hardly contain his laughter. I shot him a look. "Yeah, I mean, I always knew you two were close but I never took you for the incest type." Dear Darrel added. "God, I think I'm gonna go puke." I said. "Yeah, me too." Soda added. "Well, don't follow me into the bathroom!" I yelled. "Right!" And he went outside. "Well, I guess we resolve the matter of who was Jelly's first kiss." Chase said.

On The Hunt Down After You

"I hate you." "Really?" "Yeah! I just gave you the best birthday idea and now you tell me I gotta do one of my own? I mean, no matter what I do your present is still gonna overshadow mine!" I growled. "Look Kitty, you're just hormonal 'cause you haven't been eating well. You're trying to win a fight with illogical arguments." I wanted to punch him. "Fine. I call the day and you stick to the night." So I went to my room to try and come up with something suitable for Jelly's birthday. I spend most of the morning trying to figure out a way to top Dimitri. Until I spoke with Soda and he gave me the best idea ever. Thanks Soda.

So I called people (Chase), who called people (his mom), who called some other people (his mom BFF) and got me with the band manager. It took me all day to convince him that his band's number one fan wanted to meet them personally. That and I told him I was pretty. Girls, when everything else fails, act cute. So today I woke Jelly up with bagels and hot chocolate and The Breakfast Club, our little tradition. Yeah, we're that corny. That's what I mean by Jelly being in my bed before Dim. Geez. Then I told her to dress up. She let me do her hair and make-up. :D And then we were on the road towards Oklahoma City. I sped so we could get there faster 'cause I promise Dimwit she'd be back by six. Jelly had a famous Kitty style police persecussion. No one has ever caught this bitch. So when we got to the city, I drove directly to a recording studio. I blindfolded her and lead her inside. We were greeted by the manager. "Jelly, do you promise to trust me and do whatever I tell you to do no matter what?" She frowned for a second but nodded. I smiled. "Ok, take three steps forward. Stop. Look up and whatever you feel, just lean in and press back." Am I the best best friend in the world or what? Jelly took off the blindfold and stared into his face. For a moment she was speechless. I was afraid she had literally died of shock. But she didn't she just screamed and jumped up and down. "Oh my, God! Oh my, God! I actually kissed him!" Yep, she did. Jelly turned to look at me. "But what about Dimitri." I shook my head. "Don't worry, I already handled him." I discreetly send Dimwit a text explaining what happened. I had to promise him I would buy Jelly some lingerie. -.- Sigh. So long story short, we hanged out with the band and Jelly got like a gazillion pictures with John Taylor. Then we drove back, but we stopped at two spots. The lingerie store, which every single employee looked at me with weird looks as I was the one buying Jelly underwear. Then we went to do something Jelly and I had been wanting to do for weeks now. We got matching belly button rings.



Well, I got mine changed and Jelly had hers pierced. Luckily, Jells was too high on wet fantazies of John Taylor to really feel the pain. Good. I didn't want her to brake my hand when the needle went through her skin. They're pretty, aren't they? I got the 'B' and 'Fucking' one and Jells got the other. So we drove back to Tulsa and I handed her over to Dimitri. "Jelly's got a little surprise for you." I whisper in his ear. ;) And that's how you do it.

She Underestimated Just Who She Was Stealing From

There's so many things I'm feeling right now. So many that I can't even describe. But I'm trying really had not be angry. I had a little encounter with dear Miss Marcia yesterday. I was walking with towards the DX to see who wanted to hang out or something. And there she was, sitting on the hood of her car talking to Dallas and Jamie. Jamie looked pissed and Dallas was just enjoying himself. I wondered what was going on, so I walked up towards them. "Hey guys. What's up." But they didn't hear me cause just a few seconds later Jamie yelled at Marcia. "You fucked my brother, you dirty whore?!" Whoa. I just stood there. "What?!" And the three of them turned to look at me. Dallas was really direct about the whole thing. "Kit, would you like to give me a blowjob cause your boyfriend cheated on you." I wanted to punch him were it hurt so bad but I kept my composture. "Um, no Dallas, I do not want to give you a blowjob. That's what you got Blair for." I turned to look at Jamie and at Marcia. Jamie looked sincerly apologetic with the whole thing and kind of uncomfortable. Marcia was, I can't even begin to describe the look of pleasure in her face. "What?!" Jamie took a step back, probably keeping a safe distance between her and my fists. "Marcia hook up with Two-Bit." Jamie almost whispered. I turned to look from Marcia to Jamie and then back to Marcia. "That's right. Your boyfriend cheated on you."

I took a deep breath. "Didn't mommy tell you, Marcia, that stealing other people's toys ain't very nice." Marcia turned her head to the side. "Well, it ain't stealing if the toys aren't yours anymore." "Ooh, cat fight." And Jamie shot Dallas a look. "What's that supposed to mean?" Marcia chuckled. "I didn't force him to do anything, KitKat, he reached out to me. He wanted to spend some time with me. Didn't he tell you? He can be himself around me. Said so himself." I ultimately refused to believe her. But everything she said. It was as splinter, working its way through everything we had built. I took a deep breath and stared directly at her. "Was he good? I mean, was it worth it?" Jamie probably thought I was out of my mind for asking such question and I reassured her I knew what I was doing. Marcia didn't hesistate to answer me. "Yes he was, and yes it was all very worth it." I nodded. "Good, because I'm about to punch you." And that's were I threw dignity out the window and reached out to hit her. But Dallas hold me back. He carried me as I fought off his grip trying to reach out for the slut. Marcia just laughed and when I calmed down, Dallas put me back on the ground. "You know, you shouldn't be taking it all on me. Two-Bit was responsible too." "I don't care who stared it. I just want you to end it." "I'll end it when he says so." "Fine. And he will."

Then I got on my car and drove away, annoyed way out of mind. I drove around town for a few hours. Not really wanting to go home. Not really having anywhere else to go. I just wanted to calm down before I did anything drastic. Finally, I ended up in front of my door. I opened it. It looked like no one was home, until I walked towards my room. Two-Bit was laying on the bed watching some TV. "Hey." I said. He turned to look at me and smiled when he did. "Hey. Where you been?" I decided to make it fast and hopefully, painfree. "I know about you and Marcia, Two-Bit." His smile faded. "What?" I nodded. "She was at the DX today and she told me all about it." Two-Bit sighed as he turned off the TV and walked over towards me. "I'm sorry." He said as he placed his hand on my cheeks and moved a few strings of hair from my face. "I should've told you." I looked down for a moment. "It's okay." He looked confused. "Wait, you're not mad?" I shook my head. I was trying not to be. "No. I mean, people make mistakes, right? And you're sorry." He smiled and kissed me. "You're the best." He whisper in my ear. I know. Then one kiss led to another and one touch led to another and I decided two can play the game.

Bitches Don't Just Happen; They're Made

I'm gonna kill someone. I'm gonna kill HER. So Monday was International Beat The Physicotic Ex-Girlfriend Day. Okay, so I may have made it up, but who cares, really? I gave everyone something to do. So Dim and I had long talk about little Megan, because the bitch called... again. At the point were we actually had to tell the doorman to not let her in the freaking building. We were sitting on the living room, while the rest of the people were sound asleep. "What are we gonna do about her? She's become too much of a problem." I said tapping my fingers against the sofa. It was three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. "She's always been a problem, Kit. Just that now, everyone's been able to see it." I nodded. "Tell me something about her. I just one reason. Just one reason to track her down and kill her." Okay, so maybe not literally 'kill her' but maybe, perhaps a serious beat down. "What to say? She's a bitch." I scoffed. "That doesn't say much. I'm a bitch, Dawn's a bitch, Blair's a bitch. You gotta be more specific." Dimwit chuckled. "Well, she kept Chase to herself and didnt want him to be around his friend. She kept telling him she came first. She torture Chase's best girl friend mentally and ruined her self esteem so much that she killed herself. She threatened Chase, telling him to never break up with her. She would try to get in his pants all the time in public. Once at a party she tried to get me to sleep with her. Big HELL NO.-" "Stop! I can only kill her once!" Dimwit chuckled but continued. "She would comment on his clothes and hair and if she didnt like it he couldn't wear it. She would tell people about all the hot sex they would have when I know for a fact he never once slept with her. She told my best friend Ashley that she just wanted Chase to knck her up so she could dump him and ruin his social life." Wow... "Hey! I thought I was your best friend!" He shot me a glare. "Not the important part, Curtis!" I chuckled. "I know, I know. Damn." "Yeah... So what now?" "If she comes back, let her, but call me." I winked at him, got up and went to sleep. *insert devilish smile*

The phone rang. It was Chase. Not five minutes later, we where back in the apartment. "Remember me?" And we started beating her, until Chase said to drag her to the lot. And that's what we did. With a duct tape over her mouth and Carson's tight grip, we drove her to the lot. I felt like those people that people have people that have other people call. :D We took the tape off of her, like a band-aid, fast and painful. "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell did I ever do to you?" I decided to do the talking because if I am being honest, I had a hell of a lot to say to her. I leaned down next to her. "Honey, have you ever heard of a lovely force called Karma? Well let me tell you, Karma's only a bitch if you are." And so Dawn got on top of her and threw some punches here and there, specially in the face. But we kept her concious. "I'll tell the police about you. This is not fair! You'll pay for this!" I chuckled. "Hmm. Like it was fair what you did to Kelly? You see, little Megan, you can go and tell whoever you want about us. But you what will happen when we get to testify? I don't think 'I drove a girl to commit suicide' really makes you look good." Then, because she really had nothing else to do. She spit on me. The bitch spit on me. Major ewww. So I punched her. Quite painfully. One good thing about being a skinny ass, is that your knuckles are just skin and bone and if you have ever been punched by someone like that, you know, it hurts like hell. "You see, no matter what we do to you today. Nothing, will ever be as bad as what you did to her."

You have to see Preggo Blair beating someone up. It's hilarious as shit. So many uncontrollable hormones. And Angela and Jamie grabbed her arms and legs and pulled her towards them. I think I heard something crack. Ouch. And Jelly, boy, an angry Jelly is never a good thing. Because Megan even had the nerve to call her Dimitri's new slut. Mix that with a merry-go-round and you get Megan literally all over the place. But the one that really just made my day was Dawn cause she brought a baseball bat with her. Okay, so maybe it was a inflatable bat, but it still hurts when she punches you in the eyes with it. But the really great part came later, when we took her to the Curtis' residence and cleaned her up, half unconciouss. I made the call of a lifetime and waited. A devil smile and waited. Dawn and I knew that no matter what we did, nothing would be good enough, so after my talk with Dimitri, I had it all planned. We dropped her off at the hotel she was staying, drugged her, so what she would remember from the day before would only be a bad dream. I woke up Chase and filled him in. And no surprised, he was more than delighted to help. The phone rang. "Hmm. Right on schedule." I said. "Hey." Chase said. "Chase! I just got your message." "Look, Megan, I'm so sorry about everything. I just realized that what you and me have, well, nothing can ever break it. So, will you meet me?" I saw the look of disgust in Chase's face. What I would've payed to have seen Megan's. There was a small silence. "There's a park right in front of my hotel. The spot next to the pond?" "See you there." He hang up. "Woah Chase, I didn't know you had it in you." He shrugged. "I have my moments." So with a plan in mind, Chase went to meet Megan, while Dawn and I went to meet someone else.

We waited for them and listened closely. "This is why you and me should always be together Chase. It's things like this that bring us closer. You and me, everyday." She tried to grab her hand but Chase push her off. "Look Megan, I don't want you in my life anymore, you little bitch. What you did to Kelly is unforgivable. I hate you. And there is nothing I regret more than having date you." Megan looked so pissed and confused. "What?! But you said-" And that's where she started playing her abandoned puppy charade. "So you're just gonna go back to that Dawn like nothing ever happened and just leave me all alone?" That was our cue. "Oh, you're not alone, Megan." Dawn said. And Megan's eyes narrowed. I bet she suddenly remembered last night. "Yeah, we're here now, and we brought some people that really want to see you." I added.

The only thing feared by the spawn of Satan? Mom and Dad. The look on Megan's face. That made it all worth it. "Okay um, mom, dad, this is not what you think, you have to believe me." I placed a hand over her shoulder. "There, there, Megan, it's gonna be okay." "No, this time it won't." Her mom stepped in. Oh snap. "Or, it won't." Dawn added walking to her other side. "Your parents were so worried, Megs, they told us everything. How you were supposed to be in Rockwall Instituion but instead hitchhiked into another town stealing credit cards and stalking people to find your ex-boyfriend." She tried to avoid my glance. "You didn't see where they send me. That place was awful. It was- it was in Utah." Well, what else do you expect from a mental institution. "We were trying to help you." The Mrs. said. "I've had enough. I have to go." "Megan, stop!" Her dad grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. "Yes, Megan, stay, we'll go." Dawn said. "Oh, that reminds me, I almost forgot to leave you the information we discussed with your parents." I handed her a brochure. She looked at it with fear in her eyes. "What's this?" "Where you're going." Said Mr. "A boot camp for troubled girls." I couldn't have said it better myself. "Dawn and Kitty were kind enough to do some research." We gave our most angelic smile. Then we lean in and whispered in her ear. "Have fun in reformatory school." We said, as the three of us walked away.

Poor thing. I almost felt bad for Megan. But she should know. Leave it to us Greasers to know bitches don't just happen; they're made.

I Hear The Call Of A Lifetime Change

Ten more minutes and hell would finally be over. Blah blah blah blah blah. It'd be funny if the ceiling dropped on her and we would all be excused from her class for the rest of the year. 9 minutes with 40 seconds, you gotta be kidding me. I rested my head on the desk and prayed to God someone would shut her up. Then my phone rang, or more like vibrated, in my pocket. That is a really pleasing vibration ;). I took it out and checked the caller's ID. It was Soda. I glanced at the clock again. Six more minutes. Oh well, Soda could wait. Don't bet on it. By the time the bell rang, I had seven missed calls. That made me wonder. First, my dear brother knew I was in school so it just had to be important. Second, even if it was not important, it sounded desperate. So I dialed back and the person who answered took me off guard. "Kitty?...I need you." I could barely understand what he was saying. There was a none-stop burst of cries. Oh god... "Soda, what happened?" But I couldn't get past anything more than just a simple "I need you" again so I ran towards my car, not really caring if I skipped class, and drove like crazy towards the house.

I looked all over for him but he wasn't anywhere to be found. Finally I heard the cries, so I opened the door to my old room and there he was. Curled up in the bed he looked like a mess. I sat down next to him and pulled him towards me, hugging him tight. "It's ok. Shhhh." I gently rocked him back and forth like mom used to do and brushed his hair with my fingers. A million things ran through my mind. Every thought more scary than the other. Finally, I just had to ask. "Soda, what happened?" He turned to look at me and his expression made me gulp but I put on the bravest face I had because I knew he was looking for comfort in me. "I uh..." He took deep breaths. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for him. "I sleept with... with... with Sandy." Talk about strong statements. I held him even tighter as I made sense of what he had just told me. He slept with Sandy which means he cheated on Katie which means he's hurt which means it could hurt her. Yeah, my brain was that slow. I could see now why he was so upset. I gave him all the time he needed to cry and it felt like years just standing there not knowing what to do. "Kitty, what am I going to do?" He asked. I was about to say something highly innapropiate but I shut up. "You gotta tell Katie." Simple answer, not so simple to do. He looked at me in a way that clearly said he was hoping I could come up with something better. But I was right and he knew it. "Look, I'm not going to lie and say that what you did was ok or that there is an excuse to justify it. It was a mistake but you can't lie about it cause it will only make it worst. You're really sorry and that counts for something. Katie will understand, I promise. It might be hard at first but she'll understand, if you tell her now before she finds out from someone else." He cried harder and for a moment I felt like the adult. "But first, you gotta learn everything that happened." I handed him a box of tissues and just then his phone rang. Caller's ID: Sandy. Before I could reach for the phone Soda picked it up.

They agreed that she would come over. I silently thanked God Katie was still at work. A few minutes later, Sandy was out the door and I stayed in the room to give them some privacy, and if you ever been in my room you know you can hear whatever it's going on at whatever part of the house. :D Three pregnancy tests later. Yeah, they where positive. Which made me frown in confusion. Pregnancy may not be the only reason Sandy was late. I walked towards the bathroom. "Soda, can you give me a moment with Sandy, please." He nodded and closed the door behind him. She looked scared to see me. I wasn't going to yell at her or anything because that wasn't my place or anyone's place. "Sandy, I know that the pregnancy tests where positive, but with your physical apperance" I refrained from saying your skinny ass can't have any kids. "It is unlikely that the pregnancy would be successful. I mean you know that one of the consequences of an eating disorder is infertility." She nodded and told me how she didn't believe the test and wanted a doctor's appointment to make sure. Out of the goodness of my heart, a shocker I know, I offered to go with her. I didn't really want another niece or nephew on its way.

Then she left and Soda was a bit more stable. He looked defeated. Damn. I never seen him so down before. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's time to tell her." So he called Katie and she came rushing in a few minutes with the same assumption I had had that something was wrong. I think Soda almost had another bawling fit when she saw her. "Katie? I have to tell you something." So I gave them some privacy and went outside.

All Those Lonely, Lonely Times

"Kitty? What are you doing here?" Dimitri's confused face stared at me. "What? Now I need an invitation?" He shook his head as I closed the door behind me. "No dummy, but Jelly said she was going to hang out with the girls. I just assumed you where with her." I nodded. Jelly had thought it'd be fun to have a girl's night out, but I wasn't really in the mood to party or hang out or do whatever she had in mind for us. I just wanted someone to talk to. I stood nervously playing with my fingers. "Kit, what's wrong?" Dimitri said. I shook my head. "That's the thing. I don't know what's wrong. But I thought I could come here and maybe talk about it." I walked over to the side of his bed. He was still hooked up to some machines. Jelly's dad had said that he'd be able to go home at the end of the week. We where all eager for Friday. I was convinced this would've been a hell of a lot easier if we where in the sanity of his house, where there was the reassurance that no one would burst in unannounced.

"Ok, so let's talk." He said. The way he smiled made me feel like I could him everything. Every single thought that worried my mind. But I wasn't really sure how to start so I asked for his help. "Mind if you start doing the talking? I think it would be better." He tried his best to not look confused, for which I was thankful. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, you know how Jelly and I just celebrated our eight month anniversary." I nodded. How can anyone miss those? "After Chase took Jelly out, Dr. Winston, I mean James, can by to check on me and we talked for a while." A smile plastered through his face and I wondered what he was about to say. "We talked about Jelly mostly. And I asked him what he would think if I asked Jelly to marry me." At the M word I think I almost jumped of joy. I had to remember that a) Dim was a boy so he wouldn't do the happy dance with me and b) even if he did he was literally incapacitated. Hehe... "Yeah. He said he would be happier about it. Which lead me to think. It was right to save Jelly. I love her more than anything. I couldn't bear anything hurting her. That's why it was worth it. I would've probably lost my mind if she had been in my place." I smiled gently. "You know, I really want to say that if you do that again I will beat you, but no. It's not that I want you to get ran over by a car or anything, what I'm saying is that if one of us is ever trouble, we would be more than lucky to get saved by you. If that makes any sense at all." I really felt like I was talking in circles. Twisting the words around so that no one could understood me. It was frustrating though because I always had a way with words. To say what I really meant the way I meant it. Dimitri seeme to read my thoughts. "Yeah I get it. And don't worry if there's ever another damsel in distress or one of the guys can't seem to throw a punch coughDallascough, I'll be there." I chuckled and punched lightly on his good shoulder. "Now you're being a kissass." We laughed for a moment. Genuine laughs that hang in the air. I almost forgot something was wrong. That was, until he brought it up. -.-

"So, what's up with you? How you feeling?" I had meant to chuckled in a mocking manner but all that came out was an arrogant scoff. Slightly what I wanted to portray. "You have no idea." He stared patiently at me and when I didn't continue he spoke. "Well then, give me an idea." I sighed. I really didn't want to get into that. I never really talked about it with anyone. But I knew that Dimitri wouldn't stop asking until he got what he wanted. It took me a moment to put it in words. "Sometimes I feel like I am made of paper, you know. Very delicate, very fragile. When people see me they look at my body and they instantly know that there's something wrong. They need to be careful. I don't want them to be careful. It's like I'm not even myself anymore. Like I have this boundary limiting my every move." There was a small silence. He had pulled the trigger and now I couldn't stop talking. I wondered if that was a good thing or not. "Before you woke up, Grandma Liz took me to see a doctor. Easy to say that she wasn't very happy with me. I'm not really gonna repeat what she said because there's no use but what's important is that I have to find a reason, a physicological reason, that lead to starvation. And then make amends with it." I scoffed again. "It's easy for her to say. I have no idea what's wrong. I just know it happened." Long paused, maybe a sniffled. "There are days, you know, when I feel like crap. Like nothing-even-matters crap. Those are the days when it feels like I should just give in and be done with it. But then, like Grandma Liz said, that wouldn't be fair to anyone. She's right. But it's not enough. Everything she said is not enough to fully convince me that I don't want this."

I felt small tears fill in my eyes and escape through my cheeks. I turned around so that Dimitri wouldn't see me cry because I can't stand it. He rested his hand over mine. "Kitty, it's ok to cry. Really. I'm your best friend. I don't judge. We're the none judging Breakfast Club." I chuckled at the last part. He had been spending too much time with Jelly. But despite that, he was right. So I turned around to face him with tears in my eyes. He smiled warmly at me and I nodded. I took a deep breath before continuing. "A couple of days ago I took a pregnancy test because I was late. I've never been late in my entire life so it was quite a shock. I figured out later that I had been late for two months now and two months ago I hadn't had sex, so it all just made sense." I paused and he nodded in understanding. "Anyway, as I held the pregnancy test, negative if I must say, it hit me. This is real. I mean this is really happening. I'm getting married in June and then we may start a family. I'm not ready to start a family and the only reason I didn't tell Two-Bit about it is that I didn't want him to think I was getting cold feet. I'm not. Dammit, I love him more than anything and I want this more than anything else, but I'm-." It took me a moment to put into words, mostly because by this time I was actually crying. "I'm- I'm scared." I said. "Oh Kitty." Dimitri said. He leaned forward all he could and stroke my cheek. "Come here." I laid down next to him, trying me best to take as little room as possible so I wouldn't make him uncomfortable. He hugged me tighly as I silently sobbed. "It's ok to be scared. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think you should talk to Two-Bit about this too, he'll understand. Don't worry." I closed my eyes for a moment and we stood in silence for a while. I was really trying to calm myself down. I felt better, in a way.

"So," I said after all was well. "You and Jelly are getting pretty serious huh? I call engagement ring?" I cleaned my eyes with a tissue and smiled because this news really did make me happy. "Yeah, I guess that would in order. But we'll see." "Do I get to choose? Be the noisy best friend that picks up the ring?" He cocked an eyebrow. "I might regret this but ok. "Yes!" I said jumping off the bed with joy. "Yay another wedding! There's gonna be a cake and a reception, and, I bet Jell-O would look sexy in creamy white!" Dimitri laughed at me. "Slow down, nothing's decided." I nodded. "Fine." "Ya feeling better?" "A little. Thanks, you know, for listening. I really need it."

Of Sex Talks And Doctor's Appointments

The door bell rang. Jelly paused the TV and dragged herself up to the door. I took a sip of my beer. "Well, don't I get a hug from my granddaughter?" I spat the beer to the floor. That voice. I turned around hoping that my hearing was failing me. "Grandma Liz?" Jelly stuttered. "What are you doing here?" I would really like to know the same thing. I stood up and walked over to Jelly, keeping a small distance from her grandma. "So I need permision to visit you now, Angelica?" I really wanted to say that she needed to at least call but I bit my lip much to my displeasure. "Well of course not." I groaned but they ignored me. "Good. Good." Grandma Liz said dumping her...suitcases on our floor. Jelly's eyes and mine got huge. Oh dear God... "Angelica, please help me with my things. Now, where is the bride?" For a moment I wondered if I could take that as my cue to run out the door and stay at my brother's but that would mean Jelly would have to suffer alone. Tempting but I was a good friend. Damnit. "Hey Grandma Liz." I said as Jelly shot me a look that clearly said 'the moment she's out, we're moving'. The moment Jelly was out of our sight, Grandma Liz whispered. "So, how's the kid?" I sighed. "She's uh, she's doing ok. As good as it can go, but still, she's a bit sad and all. I try to not leave her out of my sight." She nodded. "Hmm. And Dimitri?" "He uh, well, he's hurt real bad. The doctor told us that he shattered some bones real hard and that there was some internal bleeding and possible brain damage. He hasn't woke up." My tone was slightly sad. It felt kind of a relieve to express what I really felt. With everyone, especially Jelly, I had to keep the optimistic face. I didn't want her to see me sad, it would only make things worst. "Now now child. Turn that frown upside down. He's strong. He'll pull this through." I nodded.

Just then, Jelly walked over. "So, how long are ya staying?" She said. "Your father called me. So I guess as long as I want." "Great!" Crashing at the Curtis' Residence: Approved. Grandma Winston was hungry so Jelly did some cooking and I did the table. Ten minutes into it, Grandma started to speak. ... "So, Kitty, does the groom put out?" I think my cheeks burned a bright red. "Uh... well." I was stumbling for the right words. How on earth do you tell a grown woman about your sex life? It isn't like we are really related or anything. "Oh. I get it. You're a virgin." Yeah... I'll go die now. "No, that's not what I'm saying-" "It's ok hun, there's nothing really that you're missing." She turned to Jelly. "Pussy." She whispered. I was tempted to kill the woman. I silently thank the lord that I never had a dinner together with my parents and Grandma Liz. I would've been dead by now. "Grandma, Kitty and Two-Bit are not virgins." Thanks for clearing that out Jelly. "They're not? Well I don't expect it from Half-Wit but she's not?" "No, actually they did it a few nights ago. They're first time." Now I wanted to kill both Winstons. "Oh I see." She turned towards me. "So tell me, he's not petite as your brother is he?" And I banged my head on the table. Then after half an hour of humiliation, we decided to watch some TV. Jelly and I where watching some 80s movie, but Grandma Liz switched it to the Super Bowl. She's a Steelers fan. Sigh. It was one thing that we had to listen to her screaming at the TV but another that she literally tackled us whenever the team scored a fucking touchdown. That's gonna hurt in the morning.

Then Jelly, being the smart person she is, told us she was gonna turn in. It was just me and Grandma Liz. I gulped. She got another cigar from her purse and lit it open. "So, there was another reason for my visit tonight." She said. I brushed the smoke from my face. I thought I would be free from that when I moved away from Ponyboy, apparently I was wrong. "Oh, really? I thought you had come over here to discuss my love life." She knows I got a mouth on me so it was ok. "That was a small treat for my amusement but that's not it. Before James called me I was already planning a visit to you girls." I watched attentively. "You see, your parents asked me never to tell you this, but once when I catched them in a passionate moment," That was an image I didn't want to have. "We had a deep conversation about you kids. They asked me to keep an eye on you if something where to happen to them. That's what I did. Besides, it keeps me on update on what's going on with you." She winked. "How else do you expect me to have known about Blair?" My eyes got wide. "You know about the new baby?" "Baby? What baby?" Fuck. "Uh... why do I feel I just screwed up?" "It's ok dear, Dallas is much to hormonable to keep his pants on. I would expect them to have use a condom though. Maybe I would pay them a visit before I leave." ... Sorry Dal. "Anyway, James told me about your little trip to the hospital in December." And here I was thinking things couldn't get any worse. "Alcohol intoxication? I am very disappointed. I thought that you of all people could hold their licor. I'm gonna have to teach you how to do it well." -.- "But that's not the point. Damnit it girl, I thought that you would be a little bit thinner than the last time I saw you but you're deadly skinny. Have you gotten your ass to the doctor?" Maybe if I played dead she would leave me alone. "Uh, an appointment? No I haven't had a chance. I mean, Dr. Winston got me some pills and that's what I take but right now all my money goes to the wedding and the bills, and I just quit my job so yeah." "Listen to me Kit and listen to me real good cause I'm only gonna say this once." Oh no. A pep talk from Grandma Liz is never good. "What you're putting yourself through, is deadly. You can die. Now how's that fair to anyone?" I sighed. "Yeah I guess you're right." "Oh I'm damn right. Now, we're gonna make an appointment tomorrow, I'll be my wedding gift to you, and you're gonna get your ass up there, you dig?" I nodded because if you want to know the truth, she was starting to scare me. "Now, I figured you'd be looking for your Somethings, so I brought you the garter I used on my wedding." She took out of her purse a white garter and handed it to me. "It can be your Something Borrowed." I chuckled. "That's nice of you. Thanks." Now I'm forced to use it.

The next morning Two-Bit and Jelly left to visit Dimitri and I was left to continue my misery. Thanks guys, really, thanks. -.- Grandma Liz absolutely refused to let me drive D:< and took me to see this nutriologist that Dr. Winston had recommended. I felt like I was being babysat. The doctor told me to change into a hospital gown/torture. "KitKat, what are those scratches on your back?" Grandma Winston asked. I sighed. "Uh, that's from when I had sex with Two-Bit on the Christmas Tree." "You had sex on a Christmas Tree?" "On top of a Christmas Tree." "Hmm. I will pass the tip to Angelica." :D So for the next half and hour the doctor who's name was, oh you're gonna love this, Dr. Condon, did some test and all. Then I changed clothes and we where called back in. Dr. Condon sat on her desk writing some notes on my report and keeping me at the border of insanity if she didn't hurry up. "Well KitKat, what can I say?" Damnit that was never a good start. "You're not healthy, that's for sure. Your blood sugar is low and your bones are weak. You told me yourself that you're tired most of the time, that you felt sick and that your throat felt sore." I kept my trap shut cause it felt like I was being scowled. "You weight 87 pounds. KitKat, are you even trying?" I bit my lip and tried to avoid Grandma Liz's stare. "I am. It's hard but I'm trying." Dr. Condon sighed. "In your case trying is not good enough. The appropiate weight for a 5'10" seventeen year-old should be, at the very least, 120 lbs. Now, I see in your report that you have been given some medicine." I nodded. "This is a physicological disease. The only way to treat it is if we determine what caused the emotional blockage in the first place. That's your homework. Your next appointment would be in two weeks and I hope to see some improvement by then." I nodded and we headed out. "See? That wasn't so bad." Grandma Liz said. I shot her a look. "You just payed to have a woman tell me what I already know." "Anyway, Angelica called, said that Dimitri was finally waking up. I think it would he would to see me." About that... But I didn't say anything.

So she drove on the hospital. I think Dimitri secretly wished he could drift back into unconciousness but I was just glad he was awake. That pussy had me scared to dead. Anyway, with Grandma Winston in town and all, I'm getting myself kidnapped by Soda. :D

Love Got Us Falling For Each Other Again

If Two-Bit sounds particularly happy this evening, ask him why. I'm pretty sure he'll be just so completely thrilled to tell you how he- drum roll please, *THE EPIC MIGHTY DRUM ROLL*... got laid tonight. I know he did when he told Jelly. Over three hundred times. I think she might consider changing apartments for the night. Not that Dimitri would really mind.

So I'll tell you how it happened. I came home from work and unfortunately, school. -.- I was threaten that they would call Darry if I skipped class again. It's not my fault that their educational level doesn't reach my standards! Grrrr. But anyway, on to the good stuff. Two-Bit was starting to bring down the Christmas Tree, because we where lazy all week and we just started to get around it now. I told him that I had quit my job. Yeah, you heard right. It is the middle of winter, do you think people want ice-cream now? Well, I know you dumbasses do but the rest of the sane population of Tulsa don't. But we'll talk about that in another post. Two-Bit smiled when I told him and wrapped his arms around my neck. Our height difference has never been a problem. I told him that it felt so good to quit a job. I felt like me again. :D Just don't tell Darry I said that, or do, I don't really care. "So, I see your finally taking the decorations out of the tree." I said. "Yep. But we can do something better if you want." So I started kissing him and he obviously kissed back. We really got it on that time. But at some point I stopped. We looked at each other for a moment, like an intense stare type of look. I was debating with myself. Should I? Shouldn't I? Before or after I get officially married? Then I looked at Two-Bit and I caressed his cheek staring at his bright gray eyes. "Oh, what the hell!" C'mon I have never been old-fashion or traditional and he's the one I'm gonna be making love to later on anyway. So why wait? *Stupid smile/giggles inserted here.*

Well, you pretty much know the protocol in this particular department. "Wait!" Two-Bit said. "Shouldn't we go for the condoms?" Way to ruin the moment. "Uh. Sure. Let me go get Jamie's present." Oh how I love little Jamie, always one step ahead. So anyway, I went to my room, grabbed the condoms, peeked into Jelly's room to make sure we wouldn't have a problem there and jumped on top of Two-Bit. :D "You know, I was talking to Bre a few days ago about how I wanted to have sex with you on top of the Christmas Tree." I said as Tibbs kissed my neck. "So wanna try it?" He just laughed as he moved the hair out of my face. "Where you drunk?" He chuckled. "Maybe." "Okay then." I don't think you wanna know how, but we managed to knock down the tree and have passionate sex with pine needles all over our bodies. We give a new meaning to it. I think I have scratches all over my back. We kind of stepped into some crystal ornaments. But we didn't really care. I always thought that sex was just a pleasure, that the true meaning of love laid on the talks, the words, the actions, the tiny details, the hugs, and just caring and being there for the other person. But damnit, what have I been missing?! I say this because it was kind of like the first time. Steve-O doesn't count, 'cause when you're drunk they can bitch slap you across the face and you wouldn't notice. But this was real. So real it was scary.

I don't wantto get into a lot of details. I'm pretty sure you know what went on. After a while we just kind of went to our room and layed together on the bed. It would be awkward if anyone stepped in and saw us on the living room. Hehe. We cuddled together and hugged and cleaned up the blood that was coming from our rather deep scratches. Hehe. Sex on an ornament tree = intense but painful. I'm sure as hell not gonna repeat that. Now I know you're all thinking, "what happened with all the 'after we're married' shit?" I understand it's shocking but hell, like your hormones haven't ever gotten in the way. I just didn't want to wait anymore and amen to that. :D

Two-Bit, I love you and I love that you're part of my life. Cause it's pretty awesome and I never felt like this before. Would you stay in the morning? And spend forever with me? Je t'aime mon amour.