Monday, April 26

You Can See She's A Beautiful Girl, She's A Beautiful Girl

I am very resentful when it comes to my friends. I don't like when people make them feel bad or hurt them. I have proven that point several times and this time ain't no exception. Well, Jelly had been feeling down lately. Now you know why. And I don't like it. After the little incident the other day at my house where Steve was not acting like a gentleman and I almost beat him for opening his big fat mouth, I decided to help bring her self-confidence and self-esteem back to Jells. Dawn and I had it all planned out. It was Kittay and Dawnie Poo to the rescue!

So I woke up early, really really early (by the way you owe me big time Jelly), and started to pack some things. Make-up, jewelry, pretty clothes, and all that girl stuff. Dawn got to my house before I was even ready. "Girl, seriously, what's with you waking up at six?" I asked. I mean anyone in their ride mind doesn't wake up at six in the fucking morning on a Saturday! But I guess Dawn isn't in her right mind. I wouldn't doubt it one second. So when I was finally able to walk without falling asleep we went over to Jelly's house. Her dad wasn't there and I pretty much have my own set of keys. We walked inside the house very quietly and once in Jelly's room we burst into corny songs duet and woke her up. "What the...?" She started. "We're kidnapping you Jell-O. So get your ass up and go take a shower because we gotta get ourselves even more pretty than usual." I said in an over cheerful voice. Jelly groaned and placed her pillow over her face. "It's seven in the morning! You guys are crazy!" She said. I turned to look at Dawn who gave me a partner in crime look. "You thinking what I'm thinkin?" "Yes Brain, let's conquer the world!" I laughed. Oh Dawn. "No Pinky. The other thing we do every night." "Oh, that thing. Let's do it." She said and winked.

After a few minutes we came back with a bucket of water and spilled it all over Jelly. She screamed. "What the fuck guys! Shit!" We couldn't help but laugh our heads off. "Rise and shine." We said in chorus. Jelly made a face but she went to take a shower. I turned to look at the wet bed. Shit I hadn't thought about that. "Hey Jelly-" But she caught me off. "No way Kittay. You guys got it wet, you guys dry it." I pulled off the sheets and gave them to Dawn. "Go dry them." She raised her eyebrow. "Yeah right." "Dry them or I'll beat you with my wooden spoon." I said. Dawn moved her head in dissaproval. "You're such a mean person." I chuckled. "Oh I know." I set everything up for when Jelly was ready and such. Dawn came back and we placed all the clothes in the bed. She looked confused when she came out. "What are these for?" She asked. "To wear, duh." Dawn replied. We started to mix and match all of our clothes. In the end we all looked really sexy in our outfits, it was kind of hard to believe they were our usual greaser clothes. I bow down to Dawn's fashion skills. Next came make-up. We had a really fun time. We started by playing with the stuff and I think we looked like clowns in the end but after all fun and games we got serious. We all looked really pretty, except Jelly kept on looking at herself in the mirror trying to spot faults. "Kitty, I-" I sighed. "Not one word Jelly." I placed my arms around her shoulders and made her look straight at her. "You're a really beautiful girl. Don't let anyone try to steal your fun. Look, you're a girl filled with light, if others don't like it, they can always wear sunglasses." I took a deep breath. "You are Jell-O Winston! I mean duh, you're one of the hottest girls in the universe. Tons of guys, will make lines for you. And you know I don't tell lie or compliment people just for the hell of it."

I'm not sure if my message was transmitted but I really hope it did. I am going to Seattle and killing the fucking poptart that started it. Grrrrr. So there we went. The Power Puff Girls to save the day! We went to party because what else do three teenage girls do on a Saturday afternoon? And besides, it's the only thing we are really really really good at. If you know what I mean. And then... Well I think I should let Jelly finish the story because after all, it was her night. Yeah, I'm this bad. Muahahaha.

Wednesday, April 21

It Hurts To Grow Up

I don't know what to say, all I know is I gotta say something. I'm walking through this path called life without a map of where I'm headed to. Everyone's growing up so fast. It's crazy. I just wish it would all just slow down for a while. I don't want to grow up. I seriously don't. I just want to be able to do what I want and get my way. I want to be a kid forever. I know this isn't going to happen but, I don't know I'm all mixed up. Several things are going on I mean, first Soda and Katie's wedding, then Rhiley was born, and now Darry is marrying Bri. I'm not saying I'm not happy about it, I am, I just think I gotta feel something else beside unconditional happiness, but I don't and that scares the hell out of me.

I really haven't hang out with anyone lately. I been trying to raise my grades up for one thing. Colleage. But the thing is, I don't even know where to apply to or if I even want to apply. I got no hell of an idea where to go, what to do with my life. A part of me knows I want to get somewhere in life, but another just wants to stay where it is. I envy people who since always they have known what to do with their life. The other day I was helping Jamie for university options and I realized I haven't done half the things she has and she is constantly telling me that with my smarts I could get anywhere I wanted to. She's pushing me but somehow I'm pushing it back because colleage means growing up. It's not high school anymore. It's a whole new ball game. A whole new path.

I'm stubborn towards change. Always known that. I want things to be the way they were. I knew I had to talk to someone about this. I realized I'm such a hypochrite because I give people advice on how to deal with their problems but I never take that advice into my own life. I realized for the first time I needed my mom. I needed someone who could solve my problems and tell me what to do. But mom wasn't here and I knew that and I accepted it. So I went to the only person I knew that would give me the piece of advice I needed. I went to Buck. No you didn't read wrong and no I'm not out of my mind. Maybe I am but I always knew that. You see, despite whatever you might think of that guy, I hold a lot of respect towards him. I got to meet him without his shell of toughness that scares people off. He knows me at my best and at my worst. I feel kinda bad for not talking about this with Two-Bit but I don't know. I guess I'm a liar because I won't tell him everything. I know I'm stupid because sometimes I'm dead wrong. But that's the way it is and I needed someone who despite everything would tell me the things like they are and not hold any sympathy for me and I know you guys would.

So I went to Buck and I told him EVERYTHING. I didn't shead a tear because I don't do crying, even when I really want to. I didn't shead a tear because I'm not supposed to feel scared but I am and I'm trying to hide it. He told me, and I will remember his words forever. It was a long chat. He was somehow cold with the way he talked and I wanted it to be that way. Half of it I didn't really want to understand or accept. "You just gotta get there and be yourself. Things then will fall into place." I guess he's right somehow. After thanking him for taking his time to talk to an undecisive outsider like me, I went back to the house and hang out with Katie. Gosh I really am a mess. I guess I could have tell her too but no. I planned to just let it slip and I don't know, just live I guess. I'm not really sure what I'm getting to with this. Take it as feelings from a seventeen year-old outsider.

Thursday, April 8

I Belive This Is Killing Me. If Only I Could Get Out Of This Place

What can I say? I'm not sure who I want to beat the most. Either the socs for being the reason I am in the hospital or Darry and Soda for taking me to the hospital. I guess the answer is pretty obvious. No, not Darry and Soda. The socs. As you know the nurses needed to inject me some anethesia so I would pass out and be able to do their job. Because yeah, I was kicking and screaming and doing whatever it was that I can do to not get tested. I'm such a baby sometimes. And the room started to went silent. The voices slowly turned into whispers and then into a faint noise in the distance.

I woke up the next morning to find myself chained up with tubes all over my face and body and with something attached, and I mean literally attached, to my right hand. I didn't even bother to find out what it was, because believe me, I DIDN'T want to know. It was one of those moments when you don't know where you are or how you got there. Yeah I was suffering from short-term memory loss due to the forced drugs given to me the night before. I started to panic...again. I don't know why. It's something about being inside a hospital that just gets me. It creeps me out thinking off all the things that happen there and the things they can do to me. Not pretty. I kind of started screaming. Well not screaming, more like loud calling: "get me the fuck out of here!" There was a screen monitor by my side and it started making the up and down movements really fast and it was freaking me out and yeah I was trying to get the tubes out of my face. "I wouldn't do that if I was you. Those machines keep you alive." I turned around and there was Jelly's dad standing in the doorfront. I think I had a heart attack at that moment. "What?! Alive?!" And then I started freaking out again. Like seriously hyperventilating. Dr. Winston started to laugh. "Calm down kid, I'm only messing with you. But seriously, don't take them off." My breathing started to slowly calm dowm. "It wasn't funny." I said, throwing my pillow at him. He laughed again. "How are you feeling Kit?" It took me a moment to answer his question. I guess I was trying to feel that everything was fine. I regretted it afterwards. Everything, and I mean everything, even my thoughts hurt like crazy. "Good I guess." I lied. Yeah I wasn't in the mood for pityness and the soon I got out of there, the better. "How are Jelly and Johnny?" I asked. My first and only concern where them. I was just tagging along here. "Angelica is fine. She's still asleep and we need to run some tests on her. It's your friend Johnny that is serious." My heart dropped. All I could think about was 'why couldn't we have reached him earlier?' and those shitty thoughts you get when you think someone's fate was in your hands. "He's still unconcious and it's probable that when he wakes up he'll have trouble remembering things." I sighed and put my hands over my face. "Is he going to be alright?" I just heard paper being flipped and a sigh. "Well, he suffered from several broken ribs, a broken leg, a temporary memory block out, and an internal hermorrage..." I cut him off. "With all due respect, I don't want to know what he has, only the reasurance he's going to be ok." I said. My head was begging for simple words. A simple 'he's going to be fine' was all I needed. Jelly's dad walked over to me and fixed some things that were connected to the tubes in my face. For instance I could breath better and my pulse settled. He smiled. "He is." He said. I suddenly relaxed. I felt every end of my body sink into the comfort of the bed. Maybe Johnny was in terrible pain right now, but he was eventually going to be fine, and that's all that mattered. "Oh by the way," Jelly's dad stopped at the doorfront and turned to look at me. "You have a visitor." He said and leaving the room, he pointed towards someone to enter. I wondered who it was.


My face lit up into a big smile when Two-Bit entered the room with a bunch of balloons and a teddy bear. I chuckled. He looked so cute. He looked tired also and I bet he slept here last night. Cutie. "Hey, how ya feeling?" What is it with people always asking this question? I mean they can see a person lying in the ground, blood all over their face, bruised up, tossing and turning in pain and they go 'are you ok?' or 'how you feeling?' or something between the lines of that. But I guess the question had an exception in this scene. "Honestly, like shit." I said. He grinned and I couldn't help but grin back. "Hey uh, I brought you something." He said. I was about to make a comment but I decided to let the mood flow. It was cute. He settled the balloons at the side and he walked towards my left side of the bed. He leaned on it and gave me a furry brown teddy bear. "Aw, that's so cute of you." I said. "Jamie helped me pick it out. She said that I couldn't come visit you empty handed." I chuckled. He stood up and went to take the balloons. They were all helium balloons of different colours, one colour from each member of the gang.

Purple = Blair: Kit, I'm going to rip those motherfuckers eyelashes out and hang then in the roof and use them as a piƱata!
Light Purple = Carson: No one puts my friends in the hospital! Grrrr. They're gonna get it.
Light Blue = Jamie: I hope you get better soon! I'm going to come visit you and bring you doughnouts!
Pink = Brookie: Thanks for finding my brother! I don't know what I would do without him. I hope you guys are ok.
Another Shade of Pink = Dawn: BFF! Don't worry, me and Steve are going to beat them up real good! I promise we won't have fun without you.
Yellow = Cristy: I hope you get better soon and so for Jelly and Johnny.
Light Orange? = Katie: Sweetie! I hope you're ok. I'm going to come visit you until you are fine! Don't worry, I'll take care of the boys for you ;)
Navy = Bri: I'm using navy in your honor! Get better soon girl, Darry here was crying. Seriously. He loves so much.
Orange = Steve: I'm being forced to write this. So, get better soon!

Green = Dally: I'm going to beat the shit out of those socs.
Red = Ponyboy: Haha! Kitty! I Need Help With My Spanish Homework! Please Come Back Soon!
Indigo = Darry: This color is so gay but whatever. Sister, don't do anything stupid while you're there. Remember you're there to get better not run around wild and try to escape.
Light Green = Sodapop: I guess this means I have some asses to kick. Sorry kicking ass buddy, you can't help me this time.

Woah those were too many balloons. I laughed at the crazyness of my friends. What would I do without them? I turned to Two-Bit. "Where's yours?" He looked down as if in shame. His voice made me laugh. He was impersonating a very sad almost crying person. "Those meanies stole the balloons and I couldn't write any." Aw. Cutie. "BUT I brought them to you as well as the teddy bear and that beats them all!" I laughed. "Yes it does." We spend hours talking about random stuff. After a while he asked. "Hey, did you know you talk in your sleep?" Epic mega ultra shit. I closed my eyes tight. I only talk in my sleep when I'm nervous, which just happens to be more often that I appreciate it to. One of the many reasons I have my own room. I just wondered one thing. What did he heard? What did I say? Ugh. I looked down a little embarrassed because yes, this is the only thing about myself that is embarrassing. "Yes... What did I say?!" I threw the question in. He stood for a moment in deep thought, trying to remember my exact words. This couldn't be good. "Well you started talking about yesterday night. Then about some things you gotta do for school and stuff. But the thing is, you kept on apologizing to your mother for something. You will never say what exactly for, just 'I'm sorry' and stuff. It was a little bit freaky since you kept on and on and on very persistingly and I think you wanted to cry to." I placed my hands over my face. Just perfect. I couldn't trust having anyone sleep here overnight. With this thing, I didn't want to risk saying something I might regret in the morning. "Yeah can we like not talk about that anymore." He looked confused but I think he got the message that I didn't want to really get into detail of what he heard. He didn't argue, so I guess he wasn't comfortable with talking about it either. We just continued to talk about whatever it was that came into our minds. It got uncomfortable when he made jokes because every time I laughed my chest hurted in an insane amount of pain and that was not fun, so he tried to cut the jokes but I told him to forget to forget it. My day seemed to be going better, until...

I think I'm being punished for something I did in a past life. Seriously. That's when I met....Amy. "I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." She said. I turned around to see a tiny red-headed woman in a nurse outfit. I could see my day going down. Did she just kicked my boyfriend out? Hell no. "Excuse me but he stays." Amy turned to look at me. She had one of those expressions that just makes me want to beat people. "Only family is allowed to stay." I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. "Duh. He is my family." She walked towards Two-Bit. "Get out or I'll be forced to call security." I would have jumped then and there if I hadn't been attached to my bed. Two-Bit kissed me goodbye and ran out. I was pissed. She closed the door of my room and I think I heard her lock it. I folded my arms and stared at the woman standing in front of me. My expression was not friendly. Actually, if looks would kill, yeah you get the picture. "Well as a more formal introduction, my name is Amy and I will be in charge of taking care of you." I lifted my eyebrow in fake excitement. "Your name is honey?" I sighed. "Psst." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, KitKat. Well, we'll procceed to make some tests to determine what's the problem with you." I was very annoyed and maybe we started in the wrong foot, but I was not pleased that she kicked Two-Bit out when he had total permission to stay here. "Look lady, I am fine. I don't need any tests or whatever shit you do here." I said.

When I refused to help her get me to the tests room, she injected me a liquid, I think it was cyclopropane or something, but it had to be an overdose since that just makes you sleepy and not knocks you unconcious. Anyway, when I woke up, I was inside one of those machines that take x-rays of your brain to make sure you're not a complete moroon or something. Shit. I could barely keep my eyes open. The light was so bright it hurt. I was in one of those gowns that can make everyone look like a balloon and sighed. Please let me out of here. I was finally able to get out and they took me in a wheel chair to another testing room. Seriously, they make you look like a fucking invalid. Ugh! The next test was x-rays. I was feeling dizzy and I told them to stop. Like in dead silence I just erupted. "Stop it!" I was back in my room and god I think I felt even worse than I did the first night. I couldn't walk so I had to stay in my room staring at nothing, trying to figure out what to do. Later, Jelly came into my room draggin the serum with her. My face lit up to see her up and running. "Hey Jell-O. How you feeling?" She groaned and sat down at the couch next to my bed. "You're like the seventh person that has asked me that." I laughed. "Seventh is the best." "Yeah. And does the term 'like shit' help?" I nodded. "That's my statues since Monday night." We started talking about Amy and how we effing hated her guts when suddenly a little old man passed by in his wheelchair really fast and the nurses were chasing him. I got up and sneak out the door. How? I don't know. I guess just jumping up and down in one leg. Whatever. Jelly did too and we laughed as the little man in the wheelchair turned at the corner and raised back towards us. "Go dude!" We cheered, but without making Amy stop to glare at us. She took Jelly with her and came back a few minutes later. What's her problem? I really don't know. She had a bag with several vaccines in there. You guys should have seen the size of the effing needles. Fuck my life. I backed away because needles = not good. She hold me up and started injecting one by one. By the fifth one I was seeing ducks flying around and hippos and rainbows. I was dizzy. I really don't know what was in those vaccines but I can tell you I was being drugged against my own will!


That night I puked like crazy all over the bathroom. Not good. It was the counterpart of the drugs. I stood in the bathroom floor, staring at nothing, wondering when it would all end. And this was only the first night. Fuck my life. Wednesday morning or afternoon, I woke up and Katie was there with me. Aw, she's such a cutie. She came to visit me while Sodapop didn't. -.- "Hey Katie, what are you doing here?" I said sleepy. Katie stood up from the couch and walked over to me. She took some hair from my face. She's really nice, like the older sister I never had. "Well I found out yesterday morning that you were here but when I came to visit you they told me that we weren't allowed to see you. Something about some tests and stuff." I streched my arms, ignoring the fact that by doing so I was pulling the chord to the thing that connected the serum with my hand. Shit. Bad idea. "Yeah I felt like shit afterwards." She smiled and we started talking. I just realized something. I guess one good thing came out of this expirence. I am always rushing through life because I like to live fast. I needed to slow down. Being here in the bed talking to people I didn't stop to really talk before made me feel great. And that, of course, until visiting hours where over.

Jelly's dad then came to check on me. I found it really amusing that he is my doctor and I am always remembering him that. But we stopped joking around when it came the time to get serious. Ugh. When he was done, and the awkardness was over, he told me I could go hang out with Jelly only if I used a wheelchair to move around. Wheelchair?! You gotta be kicking me. I don't do wheelchairs. And my leg wasn't even broken. It was just a sprained. Gosh. But that was the only way I could go around the hospital. So there I go, KitKat Curtis sitting in a wheelchair. You might as well kill me now. I went to Jelly's room and told her if she wanted to hang around the hospital. It pissed me off how she was walking and I was in the wheelchair. But I'm not going to think about that because it will piss me off more. We walked towards the cafeteria, not really in the mood to eat anything but yeah, just wandering around and we saw the little old man that had the nurses chasing after him. I decided to make him some company and bow down to his awesomness. After a long funny talk, we befriended the dude. He's epic awesome and my new BFF. No, not best fuck friend Blair. He told us that he had been stuck here since three months ago and he was getting tired of it. Three months?! I have been here two days and I'm in the border of dying. My respects to him. It turns out, Amy was his nurse during the first month and he isn't so fond of her either. So we started to plot against her. It was pretty funny the things we came up with. We decided to take into action that night, when everyone was 'asleep'.

That night I pretended to go to sleep early. When I 'woke up' I went to knock on Jelly's room and then on to the little old man's room. It was easy to sneak around since most of the nurses are at their lounge at three in the morning. We set the floor with grease and put a wheelchair there. We had the door to the closet open and ready to lock it. Jelly was the first to take the plan into action. She took Amy's key to her locker and when the nurse tried to opened it she saw Jelly holding her and began to chase her. She ran towards the grease and stepped aside. Before Amy could reach her, she slipped in the oil, and fall into the moving wheelchair. She collided with the closet wall and we shut the door locked. It was a laugh that none of us will ever forget. Did I mentioned the closet was where they keep the organs? Well those types of rooms have their own temperature, managable from outside. We lowered the temperature up to -23 degrees. It was fucking hilarious! Then we started messing with her records and paperwork and lasted a good hour and half there. Until she managed to get our and with the help of her male nurse friends they injected us a chemical and knocked us unconscious. It wasn't pretty because we literally kicked and scream and bite but they got to us. Sigh.

The next morning my head was killing me. Amy came to my room and tried to wake me up. I put my blankets over my head and refused to fall into her wishes. I groaned and whined until she got me up. Not good. I went to visit Jelly to her room and we started to see St. Elmo's Fire. It was Jelly's forth time in a week but she didn't complain because she effing loves the movie. We locked the door so Amy wouldn't ruin it for us and we invited our little old man over. We had a pocker match while we discussed our next prank on our so called nurse. Then, after Jelly's door was literally forced open by a security guard, I had to go to do another couple of tests. Epic ugh. Darry came to check on me and that's when Jelly's dad came to talk to him. They were talking outside and had the door barely open. "You know if you opened the door and speak louder I could hear better." I said and they just came in since it was me they were talking about. Apparently I had sprained my left leg, lost a bit of blood, high intensity migranes and just one broken rib. That was it? Fuck I think there was more to it by how I felt, but I didn't argue. For all if that was it that meant I could go home soon! Yay! But as always, luck doesn't like to fully shine on my side so I would only be allowed to leave Saturday. Le sigh. So I'm going to make a summery of all my visitors because otherwise I will never end. Steve, Dally and Darry came all at the same time and made fun of me. :( I threated to beat them all with my Q-tips if they didn't stop laughing at my wheelchair situation. Then Ponyboy came to visit and he was all "Hey Kitty! I need help with my Spanish homework." I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Dude, do I look like I want to help you with your Spanish homework?" Geez. But being the nice sister I always am I corrected all his spelling mistakes and even pretended to pay attention when he read his poem to me. Then they were gone and I was alone again. Sigh. So I went to visit Johnny because I hadn't seen the kid in a while. I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh at his cow gown he was wearing and he told me 'one word and I'll make Amy give you one' so I didn't risk it. Jelly was there too and we told him about our adventures in pranking Amy. He actually came with a good one.

That night Brooke came to visit us as well as Jamie. She had her arm fixed up and told us about her little encounter with some socs. I swear I'm going to kill them. That be the last thing I ever do. Grrrr. So anyway, once I told the little one that I would become her personal body guard from now on and everyone was literally kicked out, we decided to take our plan into action. We gathered some of the gross jello they give you and we mixed it up in the toilet the nurses use. We put grease all over the sit and we painted the soap bar with clear nail polisher. Then we filled 70% of foam in a paper bag and placed it in the door. The little old man managed to set the time for when Amy was going to use the bathroom so we set it all up in time. We hide at the nearest wall and waited for the action to begin. About ten seconds later we hear a big "EW!" followed by a scream. We laughed our heads off and there comes Amy all grossed out with foam and grease all over her coming towards us. Shit. We ran like hell. Well, drove like hell or whatever. It turns our Amy has a few not so nice friends and yeah, it wasn't pretty. You can't imagine the stuff they did to us. Some are not worth repeating. They like to pull out needles and suck out blood and test it and then drug us with God knows what and swear its 'for your own good'. They think we are retarded or what? Don't answer that. They started to get really bitch at my new BFF and they were injecting chemicals and it was really harsh. I lost my temper and slap Amy in the face. Piece of advice. Never hit a nurse. She hold my wrists ignoring the fact of my invaldiness and tried to hold me down. The other nurse took out a needle and I don't know what they did but I was unconcious again. Le sigh. I wouldn't have hit her if she wasn't a pathetic excuse for a nurse and got in my nerves all the effing time.

When I woke up the next day Amy was doing something that it's not worth repeating because you'll get nightmares just like I did. She was putting back on my gown and pulling my blankets towards me. No wonder my dream was so pleasing. Major ew. Appareantly a genetial or whatever the name is called was recuired and I almost freaked out. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MUFFIN? GET OUT!" I said as I tried to get off and beat her for doing God knows what. I want to cry. She pulled out her needle again and I stopped her. "Dude, you gotta stop doing that. I will end up like a fucking drug addict for your fault." I went to Jelly's room and jumped into her bed and hugged her. "I'm sueing this hospital for invasion to privacy and harrassment." I said. She looked at me. "What happened?" "You don't want to know." "Tell me." So I told her and she also let out a major ew. We decided to leave Amy alone because we didn't know what she would be capable of doing to us. Sigh. We hang out with Johnny and guess who came to visit? Tim Sheppard. That made me kind of pissed. I mean Tim Sheppard comes to visit me but not Sodapop Effing Curtis? What the fuck?! But I was touched that he took the time to come and see if we were ok. He told us there was a rumble Sunday and he was putting up with those socs once and for all. Yay. Something good came out of all this shit. I felt like I was guest staring in a Gray's Anatomy episode. You guys won't believe all the gossip that goes there. I mean, the patients even made a bet on how long a certain doctors' relationships was going to last. When we came to the patient lounge we got a huge applause and congrats. Apparently we're the shit, but that's something I already know. We made tons of friends there. There was this little kid that had been stuck there for over a year. Some rare disease and I was not up to ask him what it was. There were a lot of teenagers who had waited for someone to pull it up with the head nurse once and for all. I feel special. Did you guys know they party there? I sure as hell didn't. Bunch of teenagers + one room = party!

And the highlight of my day came when Carson got stuck there too. I laughed at her because she had to put up with what I did all week. Hehe. She kept on texting me to let Two-Bit visit her but I felt like not sharing my boyfriend. That was until her texts started to get on my nerves so I send him to her. And then, the moment I had been anxiously waiting for a whole week. Saturday came and Darry and the apeface came to rescue me! Thank you! :D. He brought me some clothes and I was finally able to get out of those horrifying pieces of cloth and walk! Yay! We checked up with the doctor and he told Darry about my behaviour and the fact that I had to be tested unconcious otherwise I would scream and yell and kick. He looked at me and I just smile and nod, nod and smile. Hehe. On my way out I said good by to my BFF and to my admirors and even told one kid "give Amy hell for me. I'm making you my heir now." Yes aw! I miss my BFF already. Sigh. Oh well I'll come and visit him every day if I have to. On the car Soda sat down with me in the back seat. He was 'making up for not visiting me'. Sigh. Whatever. "Darry there are two things I want to do. One get a decent hamburger and two play football." Darry turned to look at me. "What the? No way." I sighed. "Darry, I been effing invalid for five days, forced to where a dreadful gown, and been injected more drugs than I can coung. I want a burger and to play football." "Kit..." Soda started but I cut him off. "Darry, drive. Burger first."

Monday, April 5

Still Fighting It

"You guys are moving in too. Don't think you get rid of me that easy." Soda said as Darry and he announced they were selling the house to move down the street. This is one of the moments I wish I was a legal adult, so my voice actually counted! I don't like when Sodapop and Darry do all the decisions in the house, makes me feel like there's no balance in power. More specifically, that I have no power. Yeah. NOT good. I don't know about Pony but I don't want to move. I love my tiny pathetic excuse for a house to bits. I mean, it's the house that saw me and my awesomeness grow. But.... I guess that if that's the right thing to do then we should do it. Sigh.

Johnny's gone missing. Not good. Definitley not good. I can't help but think that socs have something to do with this. My gosh I just hope he's ok. I guess Pony figured out my words weren't convincing me. Where are my lying skills when I fucking need them? I gave him a hug trying to make him feel better, because I was sure as hell my words weren't doing the trick. There comes a time when an actions is worth a thousand words. I stood up and called Jelly. I told her what happened and she told me she already knew. I could hear the sadness in her voice and maybe I'm wrong but could it be that there was a tear on her face? I let it go for her sake. Monday morning I woke up earlier than everyone else. It was around 5:30 and left a note saying I had gone to school early. I ditched it. I went to Jelly's place and literally dragged her out. "Dress up, we're going to go look for Johnnycakes." I said. She looked at me. She had a tired expression in her face, along with thrusted pain. "Kittay, I...." But I cut her off. "Look Jells, I know this may be hard for you but someone has to do something and yeah you are one of those someone's. So get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs." I said. I didn't realize the harship in my words but until I analyzed the echo in my head. Maybe this was hard for Jelly but if someone didn't take action and start looking for the kid, who knew if he'd ever come back on his own.

It was 6 by the time we got out of the house. "So, were to?" Jelly asked. I had no freaking clue. I just knew I had to look for Johnny. I didn't know to where. It's not that I didn't thought about it but I had a hard time figuring it out. "Um, maybe to the places he hangs out. If not, to the... the south side." I said. Jelly put her arm in front of me and stopped me. At moments I forget Jelly is older than me. She spun me around and said. "The south side? You think the socs have him." I looked down for a moment. I tried very hard to not let my hatred for the rich kids influence the whereabouts of my friend, but I failed. I knew the socs were capable of something like this. It was so like them and if they had beaten Johnny like they had last time, I just prayed he wouldn't be alive. It scares me the things that those kids can do. They almost killed my baby brother and no I haven't forgiven them for that.

We looked for him everywhere. Every inch of the north side and the middle of town. It was around 4 by the time we considered adventuring into unknown territory. Sometimes I wish I had friends in the south side. This would have been a whole lot easier.

It was starting to get dark by the time we decided to enter the south side. We had to shoplift some socs clothes because our cleary spelled 'greaser' and being a greaser in the south side is like driving your car straight to a cliff. Not good. Anyway, we started to walk around the streets of this part of town. I have been here only once before. That party where I met Talan and had ended up with 5 fucking muffins (muffin is the new bitch, like son of a muffin, get it? no? moving on) muffing at me. God those houses were huge. Anyway, we looked all over. I was getting impatient and I knew this was killing Jelly. I needed to find him. I needed to make sure he was alive for everyone's sake. And the hours went ticking by and soon enough I think it was around midnight. I was getting soooo yelled at when I got home, if I got home that night. We sat down at one of those benches in the park. I sighed and leaned down. I was so tired. Jelly placed her head on my should in exhaustment. She was so sleepy and I felt guilty for being the cause of her lack of rest. "You really think we are going to find him?" She asked. I wanted to say 'yes', but I wasn't sure. I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to consider the possibility that he might... I'm not going to think about that. "I really hope we do Jells." I said. We were falling asleep. Slowly our eyes were giving in to the heavyness of our lack of sleep. Until...

What we heard next was beyond comparable. A horrible scream. Someone yelling desperately in pain. The noise took us by surprise. In that low and calm night, the yell frigten us. We jumped up. I didn't know who was screaming. I couldn't see right. It was very dark. "C'mon!" I shouted mostly to myself. My legs were tired but they gave in to the sudden urge to run towards the voice. I didn't know what I was going to find at the other end but if someone was yelling that way, because you got no idea how it felt, they most be in real trouble. The screams continued and we could start to distinguish some voices too. It lead us to a dead end. A ally. There were all boys, even the one screaming. He seemed to be in terrible pain. My heart dropped when I found out who the boy was. And they were all surrounding him. Those filthy, stupid, fucking sons of a muffin! I felt a ball of rage spread through y entire body. My blood boiled and I don't know what look I had on my face but Jelly backed away when she saw me, that was when she saw Johnny laying on the floor. Blood was purring all over his face and body. The socs were laughing as they threw glass pieces at him. "You fucking poptart! Mess with someone your own fucking size!" I yelled. They all turned to look at us. They smiled cruelly as they dropped their beer bottles and started to walk toward us. "Jells," I started. "They are going to start fighting us, so we gotta act quick." I gulped for a moment. "Get behing me and when they are close enough sneak out and help Johnny, I'll try to distract them." Jelly look at me as if I was insane. "There's no time to play hero Kittay. You can't take the all." Maybe Jelly was right and I shouldn't try to play hero but I wouldn't let Jelly take them all by herself while I helped Johnny. Forgetting she was older than me I spoke. "Just do as I say Jells."

And so she did. "Well, well, well. Look what the wind drove in." The first socs said. "She's a cute brat Trace." The second socs said. "You guys better fuck off because I will kill you." I said and I meant it. Lay one hand on and they were dead. I didn't care if I was put into a girl's home, they don't hurt my friend and get away with it. They laughed. "And what are you going to do greaser? Scratch me with you pretty nails. But then you'll break one." It took me by surprise that they call me greaser. After all I was supposed to be a socs. But I didn't care what they said, actually, it was even better if they knew I was a greaser. Tough girl. They got closer and the boy named Trace placed his hand on my shoulder and tried to kiss me. Epic 'ewwwwww'. That's when the first punch was thrown. Soon it was five boys against a girl. Fucking shit. This was probably so stupid and it totally lacked common sense but shit, you want to use your head and analyze the situation of save your skin? I must admit, and I hate admiting, that even though I put my best fight, they had me down. And yeah, punches here and there. And I was at the border of unconciousness when someone from behind took off me the boy that was kicking me. I didn't know who it was but there were a bunch of them, and I saw the socs run away. I was shaken really rough but I was already awake. Hell just because I was at the border to unconciousness doesn't mean I was still kicking whoever was in front of me. "Two-Bit get Johnny into the car and Steve help Jelly." Suddenly I recognize the familiar voice and I was finally able to distinguish Sodapop. "Soda how? How you got here?" I said trying to get up but yeah failing to do so. I was dizzy. "Shh. Kit take it easy." He said and he helped me up. I turned and saw Johnny, beat up as ever, being carried by Two-Bit and Jelly, with blood all over her face too, helped by Steve. "JELLY!" I yelled and ran to her. She was unconcious and I suddenly felt a knot in my stomach. I turned to Sodapop. He read my mind. "She was being kicked by other socs when we got here." I suddenly felt another ball of rage invade me. They were going to get me. I started to run toward the direction that the socs had ran to, but Soda hold me down. "Kit. Kitty calm down. They are gone now. Don't do anything stupid." "No Sodapop let go! They're going to get it." But even if he had let me go, I doubt I would have made it two steps forward. I was dizzy and my freaking head seemed like it was going to burst out. I was in physical pain. Unimaginable. Soda caught me before I felt and he carried me to another car. Darry started the engine and Soda stayed in the back with me.

Tulsa ain't a big town and the south side isn't that far from the north side. When we didn't get home as I had estimated the time it would take to, I started to panick. "Where are we going?" I asked. "The hospital." My heart felt. "What? Hell no!" Darry turned to look at me. "I'm not kidding KitKat. You look like shit. You got blood all over your face and you can barely walk." "Darry, don't yell at me." I was surprised by my words. Darry was not yelling but his words echoed in my sensitive head. Even the lowest buzzing felt like a scream. Soda and Darry exchange looks and then, he pulled into the Emergency Section of the hospital. I started to panick. Needles, blood tests, effing tubes attached to my face. In his dreams I was setting one feet on the hospital. They put me on one of those wheel chairs, Soda holding me down, and the nurses started to take me to a room or something. I saw Jelly and Johnny in separate rooms. I jumped out of the wheel chair and ran towards them. I almost fell. The nurses hold me as I desperately tried to make sure Johnny was ok. They took me towards one of those rooms where they do the tests and shit. I act like a baby around hospitals but that's simply because I fucking hate them. Unable to hold me down, they had to inject me some sort of anesthesia. And I fell into a dreamless sleep.