Bitches Don't Just Happen; They're Made

I'm gonna kill someone. I'm gonna kill HER. So Monday was International Beat The Physicotic Ex-Girlfriend Day. Okay, so I may have made it up, but who cares, really? I gave everyone something to do. So Dim and I had long talk about little Megan, because the bitch called... again. At the point were we actually had to tell the doorman to not let her in the freaking building. We were sitting on the living room, while the rest of the people were sound asleep. "What are we gonna do about her? She's become too much of a problem." I said tapping my fingers against the sofa. It was three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. "She's always been a problem, Kit. Just that now, everyone's been able to see it." I nodded. "Tell me something about her. I just one reason. Just one reason to track her down and kill her." Okay, so maybe not literally 'kill her' but maybe, perhaps a serious beat down. "What to say? She's a bitch." I scoffed. "That doesn't say much. I'm a bitch, Dawn's a bitch, Blair's a bitch. You gotta be more specific." Dimwit chuckled. "Well, she kept Chase to herself and didnt want him to be around his friend. She kept telling him she came first. She torture Chase's best girl friend mentally and ruined her self esteem so much that she killed herself. She threatened Chase, telling him to never break up with her. She would try to get in his pants all the time in public. Once at a party she tried to get me to sleep with her. Big HELL NO.-" "Stop! I can only kill her once!" Dimwit chuckled but continued. "She would comment on his clothes and hair and if she didnt like it he couldn't wear it. She would tell people about all the hot sex they would have when I know for a fact he never once slept with her. She told my best friend Ashley that she just wanted Chase to knck her up so she could dump him and ruin his social life." Wow... "Hey! I thought I was your best friend!" He shot me a glare. "Not the important part, Curtis!" I chuckled. "I know, I know. Damn." "Yeah... So what now?" "If she comes back, let her, but call me." I winked at him, got up and went to sleep. *insert devilish smile*

The phone rang. It was Chase. Not five minutes later, we where back in the apartment. "Remember me?" And we started beating her, until Chase said to drag her to the lot. And that's what we did. With a duct tape over her mouth and Carson's tight grip, we drove her to the lot. I felt like those people that people have people that have other people call. :D We took the tape off of her, like a band-aid, fast and painful. "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell did I ever do to you?" I decided to do the talking because if I am being honest, I had a hell of a lot to say to her. I leaned down next to her. "Honey, have you ever heard of a lovely force called Karma? Well let me tell you, Karma's only a bitch if you are." And so Dawn got on top of her and threw some punches here and there, specially in the face. But we kept her concious. "I'll tell the police about you. This is not fair! You'll pay for this!" I chuckled. "Hmm. Like it was fair what you did to Kelly? You see, little Megan, you can go and tell whoever you want about us. But you what will happen when we get to testify? I don't think 'I drove a girl to commit suicide' really makes you look good." Then, because she really had nothing else to do. She spit on me. The bitch spit on me. Major ewww. So I punched her. Quite painfully. One good thing about being a skinny ass, is that your knuckles are just skin and bone and if you have ever been punched by someone like that, you know, it hurts like hell. "You see, no matter what we do to you today. Nothing, will ever be as bad as what you did to her."

You have to see Preggo Blair beating someone up. It's hilarious as shit. So many uncontrollable hormones. And Angela and Jamie grabbed her arms and legs and pulled her towards them. I think I heard something crack. Ouch. And Jelly, boy, an angry Jelly is never a good thing. Because Megan even had the nerve to call her Dimitri's new slut. Mix that with a merry-go-round and you get Megan literally all over the place. But the one that really just made my day was Dawn cause she brought a baseball bat with her. Okay, so maybe it was a inflatable bat, but it still hurts when she punches you in the eyes with it. But the really great part came later, when we took her to the Curtis' residence and cleaned her up, half unconciouss. I made the call of a lifetime and waited. A devil smile and waited. Dawn and I knew that no matter what we did, nothing would be good enough, so after my talk with Dimitri, I had it all planned. We dropped her off at the hotel she was staying, drugged her, so what she would remember from the day before would only be a bad dream. I woke up Chase and filled him in. And no surprised, he was more than delighted to help. The phone rang. "Hmm. Right on schedule." I said. "Hey." Chase said. "Chase! I just got your message." "Look, Megan, I'm so sorry about everything. I just realized that what you and me have, well, nothing can ever break it. So, will you meet me?" I saw the look of disgust in Chase's face. What I would've payed to have seen Megan's. There was a small silence. "There's a park right in front of my hotel. The spot next to the pond?" "See you there." He hang up. "Woah Chase, I didn't know you had it in you." He shrugged. "I have my moments." So with a plan in mind, Chase went to meet Megan, while Dawn and I went to meet someone else.

We waited for them and listened closely. "This is why you and me should always be together Chase. It's things like this that bring us closer. You and me, everyday." She tried to grab her hand but Chase push her off. "Look Megan, I don't want you in my life anymore, you little bitch. What you did to Kelly is unforgivable. I hate you. And there is nothing I regret more than having date you." Megan looked so pissed and confused. "What?! But you said-" And that's where she started playing her abandoned puppy charade. "So you're just gonna go back to that Dawn like nothing ever happened and just leave me all alone?" That was our cue. "Oh, you're not alone, Megan." Dawn said. And Megan's eyes narrowed. I bet she suddenly remembered last night. "Yeah, we're here now, and we brought some people that really want to see you." I added.

The only thing feared by the spawn of Satan? Mom and Dad. The look on Megan's face. That made it all worth it. "Okay um, mom, dad, this is not what you think, you have to believe me." I placed a hand over her shoulder. "There, there, Megan, it's gonna be okay." "No, this time it won't." Her mom stepped in. Oh snap. "Or, it won't." Dawn added walking to her other side. "Your parents were so worried, Megs, they told us everything. How you were supposed to be in Rockwall Instituion but instead hitchhiked into another town stealing credit cards and stalking people to find your ex-boyfriend." She tried to avoid my glance. "You didn't see where they send me. That place was awful. It was- it was in Utah." Well, what else do you expect from a mental institution. "We were trying to help you." The Mrs. said. "I've had enough. I have to go." "Megan, stop!" Her dad grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. "Yes, Megan, stay, we'll go." Dawn said. "Oh, that reminds me, I almost forgot to leave you the information we discussed with your parents." I handed her a brochure. She looked at it with fear in her eyes. "What's this?" "Where you're going." Said Mr. "A boot camp for troubled girls." I couldn't have said it better myself. "Dawn and Kitty were kind enough to do some research." We gave our most angelic smile. Then we lean in and whispered in her ear. "Have fun in reformatory school." We said, as the three of us walked away.

Poor thing. I almost felt bad for Megan. But she should know. Leave it to us Greasers to know bitches don't just happen; they're made.