I Knew That It Was Now Or Never

There is so much that's been going on this week. So much to catch up with. So much to understand. So much to decide. I'm gonna start since the beginning of last week. Monday, February 15, 2010. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any more messed up, it did. I found out, well, I was reminded on Sunday, about my little you-know-what thing with Steve. Yeah... I felt horrible, because I had made a commitment with a boy, and I had broken it, when I had promised myself I wouldn't. You'd think I would someday learn. That morning I had a lot of trouble waking up. I just wanted to hide under my blankies and never face the world. But they wouldn't let me. And by 'they' I mean the guys. I tried everything! I even faked chickenpocks and the flu, nothing worked! I sighed and got ready for school. There was chocolate cake for breakfast, but I was too sick to eat, I just wanted to go through with the day. At school, Mark was waiting for me at the door. He had his usual grin and beautifully combed hair. I hated myself for being the one that would take that grin away. He smiled when he looked at me, I wondered if I even deserved that smile, and he was holding a Valentine's card and a silvery bracelet. I gulped. I wanted to die. I looked around, begging for some mysterious force to just suck me down into the deepest layers of the earth. When I reached him, he kissed me on the cheek, I didn't move, and I think he noticed. I don't know what he saw in my face. Was it fear? Was it pain? Dissapointment? Anger? Whatever it was, I was glad he couldn't say anything, and the bell rang. I raced to my classroom, thanking for once in the whole semester that I didn't have first period with him. The day passed as any other day passed. I tried to avoid Mark as much as I could, until finally, when the day ended, I couldn't hide anymore. He asked me if I was ok, because obviously I was about to lose it. I said I was fine, just girl stuff, nothing to be worried off. He took out his card and the bracelet, and I felt a huge punch on my stomach. He said that maybe that could make me feel better, until I stared into his eyes and told him to save it. The next ten minutes were the worst and hardest ten minutes I had in my entire life. I explained everything. And for once, the truth didn't set me free, it just held me prisioner of my own actions. "I think we should take a break." That was the only thing he said. I'm not even going to translate that, because you can obviously get what it means. I dragged myself home, promesing to never leave it again. You can just imagine how many words I said to myself. I think I completely remade my entire personal vocabulary. Anyway, once at home, the gang was over for a hang out. Since I felt in a deep need for a hug and some laughter, I stayed with them. Then, I told Soda everything. He seemed indifferent, but I didn't care, I just needed to share it with someone, and he was the closest to me. What happened next was totally unplanned, and accident of fate, a little event part of life's perfect plan. Two-Bit shared with us that he had a crush on a girl of the gang, and being the curious cat that I am, I wanted to know. We finally got it out of him, and his answer was everything that I had never imagined. He liked me! Me! Two-Bit Matthews had a crush of me KitKat Curtis! I think my jaw dropped cause the boys started laughing. I never realized how much I like him until he finally said it. I mean, I was twelve when I developed this insane crush on him, that thanks to Soda, now everyone knows off. I told him I liked him too, and no surprised he asked me to be his girlfriend. Well, that totally made my day brighter.

And then, the week continued to go by, until the gang made me spend a day with Pony because they were sick and tired of us fitting. Well, you know everything thanks to Pony. I think we even fought about which side the freaking fly was going. For a moment I thought we were going to kill each other. We started to calm down as the day went by, and it came a time in which we opened up to each other. I told him all my deepest secrets that no one, and I mean no one, not even Dawn knew. I found out things about him that I didn't know. Now it's my time to tell the world Pony, muahahaha. I found out that Pony is scared of ants because we once saw this movie about a girl that gets stuck in a desert and wild ants eat her alive. Gross. That once he dressed up like a girl because he wanted to know how it felt like and Dad gave him a speech about his gender. That once after he asked mom and dad were babies came from and dad told him "when a boy and a girl love each other very much, they have a baby" he got scared of loving mom because then, he would have tons of siblings. LOL. AND.... that I was his favourite sister, which is kind of ironic cause I'm his only sister, but whatever.

And the week kept on going by. Two-Bit came to my house on Thursday -I had to move back home 'cause now that we were dating I couldn't stay with him, pfft- and we hang out. We watched a movie under the same blanket and made some popcorn, they were burn, but he didn't mind and I was already used to it. Then, after the movie ended he told me he was going with Blair and Car to California after Car's birthday. You can just imagine how I felt. My heart dropped. He wanted me to go with him, but I couldn't just leave, I had school and all. He told me I could think about it and I did. That night I tossed and turn in my bed trying to figure out what to do. Do the right thing, or be reckless and don't give a damn and go with him. It was a tough decision mainly because of one thing. I was graduating that year and hopefully getting an scholarship for collage, I couldn't just throw all that away. After Two-Bit's party for Car, I decided to go with him, but just wait for me 'cause Darry's birthday was on Sunday. What is it with everyone having a birthday this months? Am I the only weirdo who turns 18 in November?! For his birthday, I got him a motorcycle shirt that I had so much fun with Dawn picking it up. He said he didn't want a party, but we didn't listen to him and threw it anyway. On my behalf, I didn't touch a drop of alcohol the whole evening! Personal record.

And now I'm California, with Two-Bit, Blair, and Car. I told my brothers about this like fifteen minutes before we started the car to go. Of course they said they didn't approve but I told them I was going either way. They couldn't do anything but just hug me goodbye and I told them I'd be home soon, although I'm not sure about that. Anyway, during the trip, Darry called me to tell me that mom and dad might still be alive. It must have been the look on my face, 'cause Two-Bit who was sitting next to me asked me if everything was alright. I couldn't believe Darrel. I mean, I was sober and I don't remember that happening. And besides, mom and dad died like two years or so ago, we saw them buried at the funeral!!! I just can't believe that they are alive. I want to, but I can't. Sorry. Despite that, I had been having so much fun with this three insane people. Just the fun I needed. We will be back for Soda's wedding, so hang on people, don't miss me.