I Hear The Call Of A Lifetime Change

Ten more minutes and hell would finally be over. Blah blah blah blah blah. It'd be funny if the ceiling dropped on her and we would all be excused from her class for the rest of the year. 9 minutes with 40 seconds, you gotta be kidding me. I rested my head on the desk and prayed to God someone would shut her up. Then my phone rang, or more like vibrated, in my pocket. That is a really pleasing vibration ;). I took it out and checked the caller's ID. It was Soda. I glanced at the clock again. Six more minutes. Oh well, Soda could wait. Don't bet on it. By the time the bell rang, I had seven missed calls. That made me wonder. First, my dear brother knew I was in school so it just had to be important. Second, even if it was not important, it sounded desperate. So I dialed back and the person who answered took me off guard. "Kitty?...I need you." I could barely understand what he was saying. There was a none-stop burst of cries. Oh god... "Soda, what happened?" But I couldn't get past anything more than just a simple "I need you" again so I ran towards my car, not really caring if I skipped class, and drove like crazy towards the house.

I looked all over for him but he wasn't anywhere to be found. Finally I heard the cries, so I opened the door to my old room and there he was. Curled up in the bed he looked like a mess. I sat down next to him and pulled him towards me, hugging him tight. "It's ok. Shhhh." I gently rocked him back and forth like mom used to do and brushed his hair with my fingers. A million things ran through my mind. Every thought more scary than the other. Finally, I just had to ask. "Soda, what happened?" He turned to look at me and his expression made me gulp but I put on the bravest face I had because I knew he was looking for comfort in me. "I uh..." He took deep breaths. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for him. "I sleept with... with... with Sandy." Talk about strong statements. I held him even tighter as I made sense of what he had just told me. He slept with Sandy which means he cheated on Katie which means he's hurt which means it could hurt her. Yeah, my brain was that slow. I could see now why he was so upset. I gave him all the time he needed to cry and it felt like years just standing there not knowing what to do. "Kitty, what am I going to do?" He asked. I was about to say something highly innapropiate but I shut up. "You gotta tell Katie." Simple answer, not so simple to do. He looked at me in a way that clearly said he was hoping I could come up with something better. But I was right and he knew it. "Look, I'm not going to lie and say that what you did was ok or that there is an excuse to justify it. It was a mistake but you can't lie about it cause it will only make it worst. You're really sorry and that counts for something. Katie will understand, I promise. It might be hard at first but she'll understand, if you tell her now before she finds out from someone else." He cried harder and for a moment I felt like the adult. "But first, you gotta learn everything that happened." I handed him a box of tissues and just then his phone rang. Caller's ID: Sandy. Before I could reach for the phone Soda picked it up.

They agreed that she would come over. I silently thanked God Katie was still at work. A few minutes later, Sandy was out the door and I stayed in the room to give them some privacy, and if you ever been in my room you know you can hear whatever it's going on at whatever part of the house. :D Three pregnancy tests later. Yeah, they where positive. Which made me frown in confusion. Pregnancy may not be the only reason Sandy was late. I walked towards the bathroom. "Soda, can you give me a moment with Sandy, please." He nodded and closed the door behind him. She looked scared to see me. I wasn't going to yell at her or anything because that wasn't my place or anyone's place. "Sandy, I know that the pregnancy tests where positive, but with your physical apperance" I refrained from saying your skinny ass can't have any kids. "It is unlikely that the pregnancy would be successful. I mean you know that one of the consequences of an eating disorder is infertility." She nodded and told me how she didn't believe the test and wanted a doctor's appointment to make sure. Out of the goodness of my heart, a shocker I know, I offered to go with her. I didn't really want another niece or nephew on its way.

Then she left and Soda was a bit more stable. He looked defeated. Damn. I never seen him so down before. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's time to tell her." So he called Katie and she came rushing in a few minutes with the same assumption I had had that something was wrong. I think Soda almost had another bawling fit when she saw her. "Katie? I have to tell you something." So I gave them some privacy and went outside.

All Those Lonely, Lonely Times

"Kitty? What are you doing here?" Dimitri's confused face stared at me. "What? Now I need an invitation?" He shook his head as I closed the door behind me. "No dummy, but Jelly said she was going to hang out with the girls. I just assumed you where with her." I nodded. Jelly had thought it'd be fun to have a girl's night out, but I wasn't really in the mood to party or hang out or do whatever she had in mind for us. I just wanted someone to talk to. I stood nervously playing with my fingers. "Kit, what's wrong?" Dimitri said. I shook my head. "That's the thing. I don't know what's wrong. But I thought I could come here and maybe talk about it." I walked over to the side of his bed. He was still hooked up to some machines. Jelly's dad had said that he'd be able to go home at the end of the week. We where all eager for Friday. I was convinced this would've been a hell of a lot easier if we where in the sanity of his house, where there was the reassurance that no one would burst in unannounced.

"Ok, so let's talk." He said. The way he smiled made me feel like I could him everything. Every single thought that worried my mind. But I wasn't really sure how to start so I asked for his help. "Mind if you start doing the talking? I think it would be better." He tried his best to not look confused, for which I was thankful. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, you know how Jelly and I just celebrated our eight month anniversary." I nodded. How can anyone miss those? "After Chase took Jelly out, Dr. Winston, I mean James, can by to check on me and we talked for a while." A smile plastered through his face and I wondered what he was about to say. "We talked about Jelly mostly. And I asked him what he would think if I asked Jelly to marry me." At the M word I think I almost jumped of joy. I had to remember that a) Dim was a boy so he wouldn't do the happy dance with me and b) even if he did he was literally incapacitated. Hehe... "Yeah. He said he would be happier about it. Which lead me to think. It was right to save Jelly. I love her more than anything. I couldn't bear anything hurting her. That's why it was worth it. I would've probably lost my mind if she had been in my place." I smiled gently. "You know, I really want to say that if you do that again I will beat you, but no. It's not that I want you to get ran over by a car or anything, what I'm saying is that if one of us is ever trouble, we would be more than lucky to get saved by you. If that makes any sense at all." I really felt like I was talking in circles. Twisting the words around so that no one could understood me. It was frustrating though because I always had a way with words. To say what I really meant the way I meant it. Dimitri seeme to read my thoughts. "Yeah I get it. And don't worry if there's ever another damsel in distress or one of the guys can't seem to throw a punch coughDallascough, I'll be there." I chuckled and punched lightly on his good shoulder. "Now you're being a kissass." We laughed for a moment. Genuine laughs that hang in the air. I almost forgot something was wrong. That was, until he brought it up. -.-

"So, what's up with you? How you feeling?" I had meant to chuckled in a mocking manner but all that came out was an arrogant scoff. Slightly what I wanted to portray. "You have no idea." He stared patiently at me and when I didn't continue he spoke. "Well then, give me an idea." I sighed. I really didn't want to get into that. I never really talked about it with anyone. But I knew that Dimitri wouldn't stop asking until he got what he wanted. It took me a moment to put it in words. "Sometimes I feel like I am made of paper, you know. Very delicate, very fragile. When people see me they look at my body and they instantly know that there's something wrong. They need to be careful. I don't want them to be careful. It's like I'm not even myself anymore. Like I have this boundary limiting my every move." There was a small silence. He had pulled the trigger and now I couldn't stop talking. I wondered if that was a good thing or not. "Before you woke up, Grandma Liz took me to see a doctor. Easy to say that she wasn't very happy with me. I'm not really gonna repeat what she said because there's no use but what's important is that I have to find a reason, a physicological reason, that lead to starvation. And then make amends with it." I scoffed again. "It's easy for her to say. I have no idea what's wrong. I just know it happened." Long paused, maybe a sniffled. "There are days, you know, when I feel like crap. Like nothing-even-matters crap. Those are the days when it feels like I should just give in and be done with it. But then, like Grandma Liz said, that wouldn't be fair to anyone. She's right. But it's not enough. Everything she said is not enough to fully convince me that I don't want this."

I felt small tears fill in my eyes and escape through my cheeks. I turned around so that Dimitri wouldn't see me cry because I can't stand it. He rested his hand over mine. "Kitty, it's ok to cry. Really. I'm your best friend. I don't judge. We're the none judging Breakfast Club." I chuckled at the last part. He had been spending too much time with Jelly. But despite that, he was right. So I turned around to face him with tears in my eyes. He smiled warmly at me and I nodded. I took a deep breath before continuing. "A couple of days ago I took a pregnancy test because I was late. I've never been late in my entire life so it was quite a shock. I figured out later that I had been late for two months now and two months ago I hadn't had sex, so it all just made sense." I paused and he nodded in understanding. "Anyway, as I held the pregnancy test, negative if I must say, it hit me. This is real. I mean this is really happening. I'm getting married in June and then we may start a family. I'm not ready to start a family and the only reason I didn't tell Two-Bit about it is that I didn't want him to think I was getting cold feet. I'm not. Dammit, I love him more than anything and I want this more than anything else, but I'm-." It took me a moment to put into words, mostly because by this time I was actually crying. "I'm- I'm scared." I said. "Oh Kitty." Dimitri said. He leaned forward all he could and stroke my cheek. "Come here." I laid down next to him, trying me best to take as little room as possible so I wouldn't make him uncomfortable. He hugged me tighly as I silently sobbed. "It's ok to be scared. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think you should talk to Two-Bit about this too, he'll understand. Don't worry." I closed my eyes for a moment and we stood in silence for a while. I was really trying to calm myself down. I felt better, in a way.

"So," I said after all was well. "You and Jelly are getting pretty serious huh? I call engagement ring?" I cleaned my eyes with a tissue and smiled because this news really did make me happy. "Yeah, I guess that would in order. But we'll see." "Do I get to choose? Be the noisy best friend that picks up the ring?" He cocked an eyebrow. "I might regret this but ok. "Yes!" I said jumping off the bed with joy. "Yay another wedding! There's gonna be a cake and a reception, and, I bet Jell-O would look sexy in creamy white!" Dimitri laughed at me. "Slow down, nothing's decided." I nodded. "Fine." "Ya feeling better?" "A little. Thanks, you know, for listening. I really need it."