KitKat Curtis

Then Tell Me,

2012-01-26T19:36:00.011-06:00

Two-Bit's little gift was more than just this lovable fury creature. It was another way to say I love you. Recently, though, I felt like we don't spend enough time together and I really miss him. We don't really do Monthianiversaries like the Ryder's do, and waiting for the 21st again is out of question. So I decided it was time to have a January 27th date!
So we both started working at Dim's restaurant. It's great, but we have such a jackass boss... Just kidding, Dimwit. Or, aren't I? The highlight of my day, though, is having to see Jelly every day. We're not really on speaking terms. Not since things got violent and there was blood. She doesn't understand. No one understands. It's not about insecurities or fucking lack of self-esteem. It goes beyond that. Sure, it's a self-destructive tendency, but that's not why I do it.
I've been such a bitch to her but I really don't want to forgive her. I mean, you can't just come into someone's room and plan this whole charade about how she wants me to get better and give me an ultimatum after I just got another one from Mr. Darrel Curtis and expect everything to be shiny rainbows and ponies. I don't get mad... I get even.

"Hello, darling." I said as I wrapped my arms around Two-Bit's neck. "Guess what day is today?" He kissed me softly. "Uh, Friday?" I chuckled as I kissed him back. "Nope, it's date day! Happy '712th Days Since We've Been Together' Day!" He laughed and picked me up, kissing me. "I love you." He said. "I know, but you'll love me even more after the day I got planned." We walked out of the restaurant, his arm around my shoulders, when I saw Jelly and Dim standing over the door. At first I thought about ignoring her, but then I had a better idea. As we walked by, I leaned closer to her and whispered. "So, how's the wedding." And just to add up to it, as I walked by Dim, I traced my fingers through his chest and gave him that sort of flirty eye wink. Then we headed out.
I drove. Since Two-Bit had no idea where we were going. For the most, we heard all this sort of CDs. That was until we heard a low whimper coming from the back seat. "Oh, look, she's up!" I said. Two-Bit turned around and laying the back seat was the furry puppy. He leaned towards it and picked it up, noticing some bags I had placed there. "I'm guessing this Friday is gonna extend into a weekend?" He said. I smiled. "Oh, by the way, I picked a name for our puppy." I said. "What about Lexi?" "Lexi it is."
After six or seven hours, we got down to a beach in the Golf of Mexico. I had arranged for a cabin, which I payed for with a two weeks salary in advance. :D. We settled. It was already dark outside so we laid on the sand. Lexi was asleep in her bed and we gazed into the stars. There's just something about stars. The way they shine above you like a million little miracles. We could find all sorts of different shapes for them. God, there where so many. We felt asleep. We woke up to the sound of cries and whimpers. I got up to pick up Lexi but didn't find her in her bed. You know that moment when your mom starts to panic because she can't find you and fears the worst? Yep, that's what I felt. "Two-Bit!" I yelled. "Lexi's not here." He walked over to me. "What?" "Lexi. She's not in her bed." Then I looked over and the door had been opened and then there was the ocean and so many places she could've gotten in and hurt herself... I started looking everywhere. I felt like a mom for a moment, which I might add, did not bring any pleasure. Well, given the circumstances. After two hours, and Two-Bit's desperate attempts at trying to calm me, we finally heard soft barks coming form under the bed... Yeah, you can all figure out how the rest went.

For the most part we made out, and did all this sorts of games. We were two lovers with the world at their feet and no worries. For the first time in a while I felt completely free. It was just me and Two-Bit and a whole cabin to ourselves. I missed that. During the day, we would go out and splash water at each other and have this sand ball wars. We even tried to make sand angels and a sandman. We failed miserably at that. But when we really wanted to get intimate. We would cuddle together under the same blanket. Lexi would be on top of me and we would watch a series of our favorite movies. From Holiday to The Fast and The Furious. Then we would dance around, and Two-Bit, who picked up some dancing skills as to not make a fool during our wedding, never ceased to impress me. The weekend was at its end. We were laying on the sand, watching the stars like the first day. I really didn't want this to end. I didn't want to go back to Tulsa. Or better said, I didn't want to go back to all that. To where I felt trapped.
"We should stay here forever." I said laying my head against his stomach. "Let's see, the beach, a cabin, no noisy kids, I could get used to it." I chuckled. "No, I mean it." I turned to look at him. "Just you and me, we don't need to ever go back." I don't know if it was the words or the way I said it, but he suddenly stood up and got all serious. "Oh. Well, Kitty, we need to get back at some point." "Why?" "Because, our whole lives are there. Don't tell me you wouldn't miss your friends, your brothers. C'mon Kit." I sighed. "My point exactly." I whispered but he heard me. He leaned towards me. "What was that about?" I turned towards him. "What?" He frowned for a second. "That thing you did back at the restaurant. I mean, I wasn't going to say anything before, but it's eating at me." I rolled my eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about." He sighed. "Kit, don't play dumb with me. That thing you did where you brushed your fingers through Dim's chest. What was that all about?" I chuckled. I placed my hands at either side of his face and kissed him. "I love you, Two-Bit. You. Not Dimitri." Two-Bit looked at me for a second. "You're doing this to piss of Jelly." He said more to himself than to me. I frowned. "That's not true." But he ignored me. "You know, she was just trying to help you." I scoffed. The words that Jelly had said to me. The words that I had fought so hard to ignored came all rushing back. "How the hell do you think this behavior makes Two-Bit feel? Huh? Here we are, all trying our hardest to do everything we can for you, and he has to watch his wife struggle while she’s pushing away all the people who care for her. Him included. Is nothing ever enough for you?" I took a deep breath as I caressed my neck slowly. "That's what you don't understand. I didn't ask for her to help me, or any of you. I just- I." But I couldn't continue, for fear of what I was about to say.
Two-Bit got closer to me. He held my hand and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "What are you running from, Kitty? Why are you so afraid?" You know that in all the time that this has been going on, no one's ever asked me that. "You know how when someone leaves you, you feel all empty inside? Like a part of you is missing..." I was trying so hard to breath as he looked at me with those gentle gray eyes. "I miss my mom, Two-Bit. I miss her more than anything. And I can't help but feel like I was her greatest disappointment. And I don't want to be a mom because I don't want to make that same mistake again." Tears were starting to fall down my cheeks but I tried so hard to keep them in. I whipped them off, almost to nonexistence, before standing up and walking away. But Two-Bit held my arm. He pulled me towards him and made me sit. "No Kitty, you need to feel. I know it hurts, so I need you to feel that hurt. Please. Because, that's the only way, you'll heal. That's the only way you'll be able to forgive her and yourself. It's the only way, you'll learn to love again." So he wrapped me in his arms and I cried. "Tell me about it." He whispered.
"I told her I hated her. I said that looking straight into her eyes. I'm the reason they're dead. Because I defied her, because I took all that was important to her. Because I played with her love, with her feelings. And I can never make it right. My brothers, they don't understand. They don't know what it was like to be me. To be the girl, the daughter." I took a deep breath. "And I don't know what to do."

Laughin' Like It Works. Bleeding Like It Don't Hurt.

2011-12-16T16:22:00.004-06:00

"I have to go now. Two-Bit's waiting for me and I don't like to be late." I said, turning towards the door. "Kitty." Sandy whipered patiently. "I'm sorry, but I really have to go. Jelly's out, Two-Bit needs to eat and I-" Suddenly, I was pulled back. Sandy was grabbing my wrist firmly, almost too tight. She stared at me intently. "Two-Bit can wait. This is more important." I sighed. I grabbed my jacket and put it on, caressing my arms in search for warmth. It wasn't even that cold, but I was freezing. "C'mon Kitty, talk to me. I don't judge." Sandy said but I wasn't listening. I paced around the room, towards the window. It was raining outide. Countless drops of water outside the crystal frame. You could almost gaze at your own reflection. "What good does talking do?" I said softly. "Lies, lies, lies. Tell me one thing and I'll twist it into a bitter lie." I sighed and slowly turned around. Leaving handprint on the window. "You really want me to tell you? I have no idea what the fuck am I doing. I really thought I had it under control. There are days when it's all fireworks and rockets around glitter. Everything's just perfect. I'm happy. But there are days when I'm not okay. When it hurts too much and there's no fucking off-botton." I took a deep breath. "It's gotten worst. I'm cold all the fucking time. I'm depressed. I'm sad. I can't sleep at night and there is always something that haunts me." I sniffed. "I can't hide it as well as I used to. Two-Bit sees right through me. He knows I'm not okay, but he doesn't want to talk about it. You know, I never truly understood the power of words till I looked him straight in the eye and lied." I sat down next to Sandy. "It's been the cause of several nasty fights between my brothers. Soda says that the only way I'll recover is by actually wanting to. But Darry is done putting up with it. He gave me an ultimatum. Either go to a treatment center or uh, stop hanging out with the rest of the gang." Sandy frowned for a moment. "Is he really gonna do that?" I shrugged. "I don't know. He was pretty serious about it." We stood there silent for long minutes. I was battling different thoughts in my head. A never-ending parade of 'is it worth it?'. Masochism on full speed. And a tough balance between either choice. "You know, maybe I'll just check in at a treatment center, get everyone off my back." Sandy looked at me uneasily. "I'm not telling you any more. I've done said enough." I said.
The next day I honked and waited for Sandy to come out. "What the fuck, Kitty?" She said. "If I'm doing this then you are too." And it took a dead glare from Mrs. Kitty Curtis-Mathews for Sandy to gulp and get in the passenger's seat. We mostly drove in silence. I wasn't in the mood for any talking and Sandy didn't seem up to breaking it either. Ten blocks down and she finally spoke. "Are you really sure about this?" I just gave her a look. "Okay..." Two more blocks of silence and I answered her question. "It's not a permanent thing. My plan is just to get this over with so Darry calms down and then you know-" I wasn't up to finishing that sentence. When we finally got there, Sandy followed me as I made my way to the front desk. After two hours of waiting, which is the worst thing they can do, we both got called up. I wasn't in the mood for any drama, so I just got in to do whatever it is that they wanted me to do. Another hour went by when I met Sandy outside. "So?" She asked. I shrugged. "Same old, same old." I was about to head back to the car when Sandy stepped in front of me. I looked down at her, towering her again, which I only do when I'm really pissed off. "What? That at eighteen, being 5'10 and weighting 88 pounds is the right path down to hell?" Sandy stared at me for a moment and I brushed it off. "Whatever." And I headed toward the car, brochures and a program in hand.

The Truth About A Fetus

2011-11-13T20:08:00.004-06:00

"I think it's time to tell them the truth." Two-Bit said as we were cuddling together. "Why? It doesn't get old." I said. "Kit, it's been four months, I think they are starting to notice." "Don't be silly, they're not that bright." But Tibbs was nervous. He kept nagging me about it. "Tell them. Tell them. Tell them." He would go on and on. A week ago we were at the Curtis place. Darry had invited us for dinner, which is weird since he never invites us for anything. He doesn't love us anymore. :'( Anyway, after we ate he sat us on the couch and told us he wanted to show us something. He pulled out a tape (yes, a tape) and if you know my family, then you know that a tape never brings out good things. We sat there wondering what the fuck this was all about and in a moment, BANG a woman giving birth appears on the screen. To make matters worst it was my MOM giving birth to ME! That's wrong on so many levels. Then he rewind it a couple of times. When it was FINALLY over, we where too shocked or too sick to do anything other than just sit there and stare with our mouths hanging open. "Good luck." Darry said leaving us alone.

You would think that it would be me the one to be freaked out about it. At some point I was but then I just stopped thinking about it. There was something more important. When Two-Bit finally convinced me we gathered everyone for the news. "Hey guys, thanks for coming." I said. "We have a confession to make." Add words like confession and make and you got yourselves all eyes on you. "You won't be uncles or aunts or godparents. At least not for now." And then the tackling of questions like 'why?', 'how?', 'what?' and my personal favorite 'yay!' from Bre. "Ok so here's the truth, when we were on our honeymoon, Two-Bit and I thought it would be hilarious to prank y'all so we decided to convinced you I was pregnant. It was hilarious at first, because we got to see all your 'WTF' faces and all. It kept being funny up until it became real. I mean, the way you girls were all like 'oh! have you picked out names?' or 'yay Shiloh will have a cousin', well, it all felt nice. So we actually tried to do it. And when we couldn't we went to a doctor, who told us we can't have any kids. Well, I can't have any kids." The room went silent, which wasn't the reaction I had hoped. "Okay, I thought you were all gonna be happy. No teenage pregnancy." We waited patiently for everyone to take it all in, until Jelly asked the question I really hoped no one had the guts to ask.

"Why?" Why? Because that's the way I am. Because I've dragged this on myself. Because the slight chance I had was washed down the toilet, literally. "Just the way things are." So no freaky giving birth video. When no one said anything, Two-Bit and I just snuck away into our bedroom and locked the door. We had to have a good night sleep for our big trip to Europe ;).

In The Realm Of The Curtises

2011-09-08T21:15:00.003-05:00

The moment the words came out of my mouth I was literally being tackled with questions. How long have you known? Did you plan it? When is it due? Is it a boy or girl? Have you thought names? Who will be the godparents? Are you gonna move out? Woah! Slow down, people. One at a time. Darry walked over to me and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Yeah, family meeting." He said grabbing my wrist leading me towards his room and instructing Soda and Pony to follow him. I closed the door silently behind me. Darry paced around the room for a second before turning to look at me. You're pregnant?" He said in utter shock. "How did it happen?" I sighed. "Well, when a boy loves a girl very much, he gives her his flower for her to keep and-" "I know how it was done. What I mean is, I just- I need to sit down." There went Darry's whole manliness out the door. "I think what Darry's trying to say, Kitty, is that we still see you as our little sister. And well, the fact that there's new life growing inside of you is just-" "So weird!" Pony interrumpted. "I was going to go for- Nope, he's right, weird is pretty much it." Soda said sitting down next to Darry. "Oh good God, what is up with you guys? It's just a baby. I have nine months to figure it all out. I mean, it can't be that hard. Blair does it." No offense B. :)

"Have you actually talked, like really talked, to Blair about it. 'Cause we know Dally sure as hell has a hard time. And, well, you're not exactly the most responsible person in the world." Pony said. I shot the sixteen year-old a glare and he shut up. I refused to believe anything of what he was saying could be slighlty true. "You don't think I can do it, do you?" "Yeah, pretty much." They said in unision. "Fine, I'll prove to you I can." I said stepping out of the room. I wasn't really that pissed up, but they had just fiven me a challenge. A dare. I walked into a room fulled of curious faces. I kissed Two-Bit passionetly and he lifted me up bridal style. "Dim, Jelly, need a ride home?" I asked. "Uh, no thanks Kit. We don't want to witness you getting it on." Dim said probably thinking about that time with the cop and the awkwardness of it all. I know I was. "We don't get it on in the car, Dimwit." I said.

"So, that went well." Two-Bit said. I chuckled. "Yeah, imagine what it would have been like had my parents been alive? Mom would've probably shoot you." He laughed. "Before or after she killed you first?" "Probably after." We started kissing, leaving our clothes splashed through the entire apartment. And you know what happens next. We laid down on our bed cuddling. This is probably my best part. He was caressing my hand and I could hear the soft beating of his heart. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. "Well, we just sort of made it official." "Yeah, I know, but we don't have to do it, if you don't want to." I smiled, he pulled me closer. "I know." He began kissing my arm softly. "You do realize that now that Jelly knows she's probably going to tell her dad. And that he'll probably want to check you out?" I nodded. "And how we're going to you know what?" "I don't know, but I'll think about something." I said looking up to kiss him. "Je t'aime mon petit amie." "I love you too, Kitty."

Good To You

2011-08-04T14:59:00.003-05:00

"You know, this would all be more romantic if you hadn't dragged me all the way from my bed, make me ride shotgun and kidnap me against my will." I said as Two-Bit started the engine. "Where are we going, anyway?" "The airport." He said simply. A smile plastered across his face, of immense pride and no good. "The airport?" First thought: He's kidding. Second thought: No, he's not. Third thought: Damn. When we pulled towards airport, Soda was waiting for us. The smile on Two-Bit's face didn't dissapear. And it was starting to freak me out. He took out our bags, and I stared at them in disbelief. "Two-Bit-" But he cut me off, 'cause he knew what I was about to ask. He's been reading my mind like that for a while now. "Don't worry, it was Jelly who did it." He checked in our bags, as I waited with Soda. He was chuckling insanely and I was starting to get pissed off. Why couldn't they just tell me? "Okay, everything's ready." Two-Bit said holding our passports and tickets in his hand. "Soda." He said tossing my brother my car keys. I was about to protest when he kissed me on the cheek and we said our goodbyes. Two-Bit didn't let me see where we were going. He literally had me blindfolded after we got through security. "So, my little Kitty." He said once we were in our seats. "How does it feel to not be in control?" I punched him lightly on the ribs but smiled. I had to admit the whole plane-kidnap was kind of romantic.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Cancun." The flight attendance said once we landed. I turned to look at Two-Bit. "Cancun, really?!" He smiled proudly. "Happy honeymoon, sweetie." He said kissing me. Out of all the places in the world, the beach is my second favorite. The first is his arms. We checked in at the Mayan Palace, put on our swimsuits (thank you Jelly, for not letting Two-Bit pack my things) and hit the beach. For the next few weeks, our days consited on waking up late, breakfast in bed (courtesy of the friends we made the last time we were here), hanging out in the beach, dress up, go around town and them hit any party going on at the local bars until the sun came up (literally).

We where laying down on the beach, Two-Bit was asleep. He had a little to many Pi;a Coladas. So, I being the nice wife that I am, buried him in the sand. Thank god he's not a light sleeper. It took me an hour, plus the help of a little girl, to shape the sand around him like a six-pack, with muscles filled with manhood. I told you I wanted that six-pack. Finally, when we finished, I took the little girl for a well-deserved ice-cream, and left Two-Bit all alone! Anyway, the little girl had friends and a hot brother ;) So they invited me on this thing called a Banana. It's an inflatable sort of boat, but shaped as a banana! You sit on it and a boat drags you around the sea. Pretty funny. After a couple of hours, I realized, I may have forgotten about something. Two-Bit was still buried in the sand battling to get free. Funniest thing I've ever seen! He asked me to help him. I refused by signing up for surf lessons. Epic stuff. You should all try it sometime. After getting hit by an unhealthy amount of waves, not fun, I decided it was time to help poor Two-Bit. Turns out, he managed to get out all by himself. I'm proud. That's when the epic battle between good and awesome broke!

He signed up for surf lessons with me, we were fooling around when he snuck behind me and untied my swimsuit. -.- Bad move. Guys, piece of advice. NEVER untie a girl's swimsuit, blouse, or bra unless she asks you too. It's not cool. I sank into the water as I tried to tie it again. I didn't get angry. It was a well-deserved payback. But it cost dear Mr. Keith a week-worth of no sexual activity. Anyway, the next few days we traveled around the town buying all sorts of gifts for us. Sorry guys, it was either you or us, and well let's face it, us is better. But we did send postcards! One day we went to the tip of the Mexican penninsula. The prettiest place I've ever seen. We were laying on the beach, holding hands. I could stay like that forever. "I don't want to go, but we have to." I said. "No, we don't." Two-Bit said. I turned to look at him. "What do you mean, we don't?" I asked. "Well, I wasn't sure how long you wanted this to last, so I bought no return ticket." He said. My face lit up in joy. "You mean we never have to come back?!" I asked. "Not if you don't want to." And I didn't. We went MIA all July, until finally, Darry got a hold of us. -.- He figured we weren't coming back if it was up to us so he bought us a return ticket. -.- Oh well, it was too good to be true.

When we got back, Darry and Soda were waiting for us, along with every one of you people. "Don't worry, it's not like we where going to live without you." I lied but oh well. Sometimes I feel like I'm married to you guys instead of just Two-Bit. But I get it, you can't live without me and as flattered as I am, it pisses me off. But that month was the best vacation I've ever had. Thank you, Tibbs for a great honeymoon. Oh and maybe, we can tell the gang our little secret. ;)

Spend Forever With You

2011-06-22T19:17:00.005-05:00

The alarm went off silently and I rolled over to the side to push it to the ground. The sun was bright and shinning through the curtains. I hide underneath my covers hoping to catch even the slightly drop of sleep before waking up. Then I opened my eyes as I stared at the ceiling. That's when I realized what day it was. It's my Wedding Day. I had to say it out loud before believing it. Over the past few weeks we've gone through every last minute yet important detail. Final dress check up, the cake, making sure everything was perfect at the venue, the shoes, Two-Bit's tux, the bridesmaids dresses, the makeup and hair appointments, the flowers, the guest list. Everything had to be done at least the night before. And it was. Everyone please give a big round of applause to Miss Angelica Winston and Miss Dawn Cade that because of their eternal love towards moi, stayed up almost all night making sure everything went as planned. Thank you, girls.

I stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Jelly prepared some breakfast for the two of us. She kicked Two-Bit out last night because the bride and the groom aren't supposed to see each other on their wedding date and so he slept over at Dimitri's. When she finished, she ordered me to go get a shower so I did. The girl's started arriving around eleven, along with our make-up/hair stylist friend that was conveniently invited to the wedding ;). She wanted to see the dress first to give her an idea. She spent two hours on me, I swear I've never sat down that long before. I was anxious to get up and have something to do. When she was finally done. I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked gorgeous, even better that usual. And I looked just like my mother. I've never really noticed the resemblance before but I was amazed at how much we look a like. I walked out of my room. "So, what do you think?" I asked my lovely ladies while I stricked a pose. "You know, I always thought I would get a whore as a sister-in-law but I guess my prayers were answered." Jamie said with relief. Yeah, I guess I can't really blame her. Jelly and Dawn were ready and so we drove to my home before getting to the venue. "We're here." I yelled and here comes Darry and Pony, Pony having a difficult time fixing his tie, idiot, and Darry standing all well Darry-like.

"Go on, put your dress on." Darry said as Jelly followed me with my dress and shoes. My brothers went on one car and Dawn, Jelly, Katie and me rode in another. When we got the venue everyone was there and so my bridesmaids and me, we waited at the bride's room before the ceremony began. The girls spend some time with me and some other time talking to the rest of the people, so I was alone for a while until Darry and Soda came in. "Where's Pony?" "Making out with Brooke." Soda said. "Right, just make sure he doesn't mess with her too much." Then I took a deep breath. "Hey, how are you?" Darry said. I chuckled. "A little nervous but other than that great. Magnificent, actually. Better than I've felt in a long a time." "Good to know." Then Darry walked over to me and gently caressed my cheek. "Mom and Dad would've been proud." I smiled. "Yeah. I just wish they could be here." And I looked down for a moment but Darry raised my chin. "They are here, they are always here, in our hearts. We just got to remember." Then he looked around his pocket and took out a small navy box. He was holding a beautiful diamond bracelet that he placed around my wrist. "Mom wanted you to have this. It belonged to our great-grandmother. She was really proud of you, Kit." A small tear left my eye and they hugged me. Darry kissed my forehead and Soda gently punched my shoulder. Then they left. Jelly and Dawn came running after. "It's time!" Dawn said.

Everyone was sitting at the infinite amount of benches. The bridesmaids walked with their respected partner as I waited for my escort. "Hey." Dim said as he stood by my side. "You look beautiful." "So I've been told." "Well, let's go then." He extended his arm and I took it. Everyone got up the moment they saw me coming and the music started playing. And as I walked down the aisle I could feel my legs slightly shaking. Then I saw him. Standing there. Not a doubt whatsoever. Very proud of his decision. And I knew then that everything would be more than okay. Dimitri kissed my cheek and placed my hand on Two-Bit's. And the priest started.

"We're gathered here today to join Keith Andrew Mathews and KitKat Sarah Curtis in matrimony. Who gives this woman to be married?" "I do but she gives herself freely." Dimitri said and I turned to wink at him. "It is commonly seen that young couples decide to say traditional vows, but anyone who knows Two-Bit and Kitty knows they are fat from traditional. So I wasn't surprised when they informed me they were going to write their own. Kitty?" I looked from Two-Bit to the priest and then back at Two-Bit. I took a deep breath before starting and then everything seemed so natural.

"Two-Bit, three hundred and sixty-four days ago you asked me to marry you. Three hundred and thirty-one days ago I said yes. And that month that we spend apart I realized I can't imagine my life without you. I said yes because we are meant to be together, even we're apart. Ever since we were little we have a bond that's so strong that nothing and no one can ever brake it. You're my friend. You listen when I talk, you wipe my tears when I cry, and you tell the joke that makes me laugh. I can be myself. I can act silly, I can be sarcastic, I can be cynical or a hopeless romantic and you love me just the same. You believe in me even in the moments when I don't believe in myself. So I give you my soul, my heart, and my love."

And then Two-Bit said his vows. The priest looked us both and he smiled. "Two-Bit, will you take this woman to be your beloved wife to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heatlh, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part?" "I do." "Kitty, will you take this man to be your beloved husband to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part?" I took Two-Bit's hand, looked deep into those gorgeous gray eyes and said the two words more lovable and trustful than you can say to someone. "I do." And we exchanged rings. Finally, the priest looked at us and finished. "I may now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." And with that, Two-Bit hold me close, looked for a moment at my blue eyes and kissed me. The priest was right. Till death do us part.

Terrible Twos My Ass

2011-05-16T16:21:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was my time to baby sit...again. Just this time it was Blaze and Carter double trouble. Damn that Blair. I woke up to the sound of freaking knocks on my door. Two-Bit was knocked out from his nineteen-hour drive and Jelly was, god knows where the bitch was, but it was me who had to open the fricking door. "What?" I growled. It was Blair with her two little...things, for lack of a better word. "Would you babysit? Yes? Alright. Thank you." And just like that I was left with two kids and a backpack. Yayness... not. I sighed and carried Blaze. "Come little minions. It's time for breakfast." So I don't know what they eat so I just took out some chocolate cake that Soda left here the other day and served it to them with some milk. The little fuckers like to throw cake around the kitchen. In no time it was a Blaze-Carter vs Kitty fight and I won. Muahahahahaha. But that just made them cry. -.- Just then a sleepy sloppy Two-Bit walked into the kitchen. "What's going on here?" "Well, handsome, your sister left me this two to babysit and they're being pussies cause I beat them in an epic cake fight." "Really? Man, they always beat me!" He said. Two year-olds beating a nineteen year-old? Now that's something you don't see every day. "Okay, let me hop on a shower and then I'll come help ya." He said. "That'd be awesome." I said. Meanwhile I half cleaned the kitchen and all.

I have that song "Friday" stuck in my head. I wanna kill the motherfucker that had that playing all day at school. -.-

So Tibbs took both of them into the tub with him, lord almighty knows what they might've seeen there, well, I do know and I personally like it but I can't say the same for Blaze or Carter. I hoped into the tub too, but I used a bathing suit cause we are trying to keep it PG and all. And little Carter was pulling off the bra thingy. Like seriously! He was poking...there. Two-Bit got jealous. "Hey! Those are mine." And so he started to splash Carter and Carter splashed back. Soon enough they where chasing each other. Meanwhile, Blaze, the only smart one, hugged me while those two killed each other. The shower was fun, but it wasn't the best part. We took them to the park. Apparently kids don't like the merry-go-round a whole lot when they are stuffed. It was some funny shit watching them crumbled for their balance. Miniature drunkies! :D

We got home them and we had another epic food fight. Pizza fight. Blair is so gonna kill us. But what can I say? Baby food is some nasty shit. After playing some twister and some horseback riding, (I was on top for most of the game ;)) we finally got them to go to sleep. "Hey." I wrapped my arms around Two-Bit as he hold Blaze. "We finally got some alone time." "Yeah." He said kissing my cheek. "You know what I was thinking, you know as we took care of the little ones?" I lifted Carter and sat down on the floor next to Two-Bit. "What?" "Would we make good parents? You know, hypothetically speaking of course." Kids are in a distant future plan. Two-Bit kind of shivered. "I dunno, Kit. I mean, I guess. But, I don't know." I kissed his cheek. "I'm scared about that. I mean, there's no goddamn rule book or anything and one screw up can cause a lot of damage, but it can't be that hard. I mean, I know how I want to be." I paused for a moment. "I went to see my mom and dad the other day. Their graves were empty so layed down some flowers. And I started talking to them, and I realized I had a hell of a lot more to say to my dad than I had to my mom. I barely spoke to my mother when she was alive. We had more fights than the jews and muslims and I don't want that for my kids. I want them to have a relationship with me, but you know, sometimes I have my doubts. You'll be a great father, though. I just know it." He smiled and kissed me and for a moment, I forgot I was holding a little kid, otherwise I would've gotten more. "You'll be a great mom too, Kitty." And we just kept on kissing until we fell asleep. Then we woke up to the sound of Blaze drinking from a beer bottle we had forgot to put away. Hehe.

Even In The Worst Time We'll Pull Through

2011-05-03T21:35:00.003-05:00

"I think...I think I'm pregnant." Woah I did not see that one coming. I think I scared Jelly out of my mind by the mere look on my face. I froze. My whole face went pale. My hands were clenched into tight fists. You could see the veins by the visibility of my skin. Then I realized I was probably making it all worst so I relaxed and chuckled. "Right. Good one, Jelly. You had me scared to dead for a second there." Well of course I made a joke about it! What else was I supposed to do when one of your best friends tells you she's pregnant?! I mean, sure, I could rub it in her face a hundred times 'I told you so.' but that wouldn't help at all. And It's not like I could pin her to the floor and chop her balls off either. She's the one holding the freaking baby. Then I remembered. Dimitri. His name was buzzing in my head. Must. Kill. Freaking. Dimwit. I sighed. There might be blood. I walked towards Jelly. I think she was scared of me because she took a step away when I touched her. But I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her. I hugged her. I hugged her really tightly. "It's okay, Jelly. We'll find a way to make it all right." And I mean it. I mean, whatever the thing turned out to be, we can always find a way to make it all better. "You're tired." I said as I pulled a strand of hair out of her face. "Why don't you go to sleep?" And I left her wrapped between her sheets, closed her door, and went straight for the door.

He had barely a towel on when I pin him down and hit him... where it hurts. "Kit, what the fuck?" He groaned. I leaned down so my face would be inches away from his. "I told you I'd kill you." I must admit that that did sound very mafia like but oh well. I turned around and left. I spend the next day with Jelly just talking. She had told Dimitri and she told me about his reaction, about what she herself was feeling and I suddenly felt really bad for her. At one point or another, I talked to Two-Bit about it. "What are we gonna do?" He asked. "I don't know. I mean, I never seen her so down. And I can't do anything to make it okay." Two-Bit leaned in and kissed the top of my head. "I'll help you there. I'll try to make her laugh a little. Ya know, take her mind of things. It'd be a Two-Bit/Jelly epic adventure." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek softly. "Thank you." So I left Jelly again sitting on the couch watching a Brat Pack special on TV with Two-Bit by her side and headed out.

It was the middle of the night. I had to walk to his place. My car was still being fixed up. There where no lights on but I let myself in anyway. I walked up to his room. No Dimitri. I knew he hadn't gone out cause Chase was sound asleep and snoring in his. So I looked for him everywhere. In the bathroom, below the stairs, in the living room, until I finally found him sitting on the kitchen floor with a bottle of whiskey by his side. He was half drunk. Sigh. He barely looked at me when I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. "Hey." I said sweetly. We were silent for five long minutes. For a second I thought he really wasn't going to say anything. But just before I could open my mouth to speak, he spoke. "I thought we where being careful. I thought there was nothing to worry about. I never wanted to be one of those people. Ya know, the ones that have kids everywhere simply because they don't know how to use a fucking condom." He wasn't looking at me and he took the bottle again to take a sip. I snatched it away. Half drunk was already bad enough. "I thought I was smarter than this." He said, his voice was sore and trembling. He was almost cracking up. I pulled him close into a hug. "There, there, Dimmy. It's okay. We all make mistakes. I mean, God knows I have my fair share of them. We're not perfect. Sure you may have use all the precautions but sometimes this things happen anyway. And you got two choices. You can either let it get the best of you, give in to the fear and let it turn this into a tragedy. Or you can embrace it, look for things that would make if better. I mean, we're not even sure if Jelly is really and a hundred percent pregnant. And you guys love each other. If anyone can make it through this is you guys." "But Kitty, I'm scared." "Oh honey, I know it's scary. Believe me, I know how scary things can be. But I also know that things are better if you don't let fear conquer you." "But Kitty-" He started again but I caught him off. "No Dimitri, no." I held his face between my hands and made him look directly at me. "I'm gonna give you five seconds. You can be scared out of your mind, scream, yell, cry, do whatever you want. Let fear take completely oer. But you only got five seconds. Then, you'll stand on you're two feet and get your act together. Do it for Jelly, all right." He nodded. He got comfortable and ready. "Okay. You can go." I swear to God he was almost shaking. "One...two...three...four...five." He said. I wasn't sure if that would make him feel better but at least it would make him have a little control over himself. "Oh Dimitri." I said when he turned to look at me. He was doing his best to keep up the brave act. It's funny who we go back and forth with saving each other. :) "It'll be okay. We'll make it through this." I said and I hugged him. We just stayed like that, hugging each other. Until he fell asleep and I fell asleep.

Even in the worst of times we'll pull through, 'cause we're greasers and that's what we do.

Right Here, Right Now, Just Us

2011-04-25T19:55:00.004-05:00

"KitKat Sarah Curtis! Where the fucking hell have you been? No call. You just disappear! You know I had Tim and Dally and Steve look all over town for you." I knew I was in slight trouble when Two-Bit used my full name. I knew he must've been worried sick. I mean, he sent Dallas. "I'm sorry. I-" But he didn't let me finish, because the moment he saw me he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close. I could barely breathe as he hold me close to his chest. I could hear his heart beating. Slow and regular. He'd never hugged me that way. No one has. I had forgotten about the warmth of his skin. The way my body relaxed by the mere touch. I felt protected. He hugged as though he didn't want to let me go. He hugged me like he wanted me to become a part of him. And I just wanted to be in his arm. After slow seconds he was starting to pull away. "No." I said and I clenched my hands to his shirt. I wasn't willing to let him go either. I couldn't see his face, but he kissed me on the forehead as he lifted me and carried me to our bed. He put me down and wrapped his arm around me. "Two-Bit?" I whispered. "Yeah?" "How come you worry so much about me? I mean, I was gone for like a day." He was silent for a second. Then he leaned closer and pushed me towards him. My face inches from his. "Because I love you, Kitty. Even when we where just friends I took care of you. I really want to be the one who protects you. The one who you can count on. The one you can talk to." He kissed me gently on the cheek. "You see, I'm stealing Dimitri's place as the best friend." I kissed him. "You don't have to worry about that. You're first on my book."

So what happened on those two days that we were away? Dealing with Miss Sandy Davis should be cconsidered an Oympic Sport. Her freaking hormones annoy the shit out of me. We just mostly talked. About everything. It felt weird, you know. I'm usually the one that has to hold it together. The one that is always on one piece. So being the patient and not the doctor was a whole new expirence for me. I can't personally say I liked it. Actually, I don't think I ever want to go through it again, but I promised Sandy and unfortunatley I like to keep my promises. Do I want to talk about it? Not really. But what's to tell anyway? It is all nicely written in Sandy's blog, so if you're that curious go check it out.

When I woke up the next morning, Two-Bit was still asleep. There is no greater feeling than waking up next to him. The wake up part beats the sex part of the night. And if you say anything Dallas against it I will cut your balls off. But no pressure. :P I stood up to try not to wake him and went to the kitchen. I had planned something special for him that morning. I had Dimitri and Chase run errands all morning. They brought me chocolate, milk, eggs, sugar, and some other cooking stuff. I was gonna make brownies. And no, not from the instant receipe that comes in the boxes. Two-Bit's favourite brownies have to be made from scratch. Let me tell you, just because you're doing something with all your heart does it make it any less difficult. Chase and Dimwit were enjoying my lack of cooking abilities. They offered to help but I turned them down... for the 100th time. "No!" I said growling at them. "I got to make this! I just have to get this right on my own." I know I can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I just really wanted something to go right. I wanted something to go as planned. I really just needed that feeling of satisfaction. Eventually Two-Bit got up and I was almost finished. "Ah! Go back to bed." I ordered him. So I set everything up and brought it over to the room. "Did someone ordered Breakfast in Bed?" I said putting the tray down. "Kitty?" He asked as he looked at the tray. "Are these my mother's brownies?" I kissed him. "I love you, Two-Bit Mathews." So we sat down and we ate and we joked around and we talked. And those are the moments that are truly amazing.

Later on, we took a walk. "Where are we going?" Two-Bit asked. We had been walking for over an hour, past the South Side, into the forest. "I'm sorry about the walk, it's just that Dimitri is fixing up Sheila and all." "You named your car?" "Hells to the yeah." "Okey..." And I slapped him on the side of the head for dramatical effect. We all know tha dark forest that surrounds the south side and the stories our parents used to tell us to keep us away. No surprised your little friend decided to check them out one day a couple of years ago. About a twenty minute walk from the entrance and into the heart of the woods, there is a small meadow. Oak trees surrounded it and there is so little light that its always shadowy and cool. It's perfect to lie down and think. And beyond that meadow, there is a cliff, and it's the scene you've ever seen. It's my favourite place in the world. "What is this?" Two-Bit said. "Do you remember how I used to tell you that one day I wanted to go visit London and Paris and all those magic places?" He nodded. "Well, this is my Paris and my London, and my Tulsa. This is the only place in the world where there are no greasers or socs. Where people are just that, people. I come here when something's bothering me or when I just want to be alone. This is my sacred place. It's called Kitty's Point. Because here is where everything conects. Where everything makes sense." Two-Bit looked around and then he lifted me up and swing me. "Now we can call it Two-Bit and Kitty's Point." We sat around the edge of the cliff watching the clouds. We saw the birds and the butterflies enjoying the spring. "Two-Bit, this place is beautiful." "It sure is." "Two-Bit," I leaned towards him so he could see me. "Why don't we get married? Right here. Right now. Just us."

Don't You Ever Ever Feel Like You're Less Than Fucking Perfect

2011-04-15T21:28:00.006-05:00

87. 87 is dangerland. 87 is parties and laughs and hugs and kisses. 87 is too real it scares me. Yet, 87 is what it is. And it doesn't seem to go away. 87 is beauty. 87 is strength. 87 is weakness. 87 is freedom. 87 is respect. 87 is everything there is. Is 87 happiness? I hear voices in my head. "It is not worth it." They say. I hear others. "It's what you want." Is it? Is it really? Because it comes a point where I really don't know. It is just the space between my bones and my skin. I'm wrapped up in a porcelain frame. 87 is dangerous. It doesn't seem to go up but it goes down. 87 is good. Not perfect, but good. I raised a glass of shallow water. I drank it. I felt how the water slowly fell of my jaw. It feels watery and flavourless. Water has been my companion for ten months now. Ten months and I've managed to survive. I must be really lucky. Or really unlucky.

I got outside my door. The living room is empty. The kitchen is empty. Jelly's room is empty. There's no one home. So I lock myself in the bathroom. Like I have done many times before. I stare at myself in the mirror and I do the unthinkable. I lift up my shirt and take off my pants. I had to buy new ones so they would fit. The others, they don't understand, hell, I don't think I understand. I leaned towards the mirror and I look, like really look. I look at my face, at my chest, at my stomach, at my thighs, at everything that forms me. And I wonder, do I like it? I love my face. It's the face of an angel. The face a million girls would die for. I stare at my chest. It's not flat, but I could do better. You can see my ribs sticking out and bones marked were my breasts should be. I dare to go lower. My stomach is shrinking on itself, ready to make my throw up if I let it. I never imagined myself like this, then again, I never did I not imagined myself like this either. I finally look down, to all that there is and all that's been holding me up. I look for something to lean on, but all I see are two sticks holding me. Two long and skinny sticks that feel like they might give up any second. It's as if though I'm a ghost. It feels like I'm floating. Am I?

I stare down at the toilet. I feel like I'm about to lose it. I sit down. I can't. It's not right. It never has been. I lean on the wall and slowly let myself fall. I sit. I pressed my legs against my chest. I need to tell someone. I really do. It's eating me. How do you want to die? From the outside-in or from the inside-out? But no one will understand. No one can really feel what I'm feeling. No one can know what I'm really thinking. No one will understand no matter how hard they try. So who to tell? I tried before, I told Dimitri, but he didn't get it. He didn't understand. He didn't tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. What is it that I want to hear? Soda laid out all kinds of sentences. Sentences and words. They don't mean much. Do they mean anything at all? I start breathing heavily. My heart is pounding fast. I can feel each heart beat pressing up against my chest. One breath at a time. I sniff quietly.

The first time they found out... Dimmy told me to talk about. "Kitty, you don't have to hold it together every minute of every day." Hmm. Yeah, I do. I really do. Because if I don't, I lose control, and for a girl me, a girl that has to put up with this shit every minute of every day, losing control leads to dangerland. I feel like crying again. Lately, that seems to be the only thing I ever do. Cry and cry and cry some more. What happened to me? I've cried more this past year than I had in the past six or so years. I really just needed to talk to someone. So I grabbed my phone and searched through the contact list. Only one person knows how I'm feeling. I called Sandy. "Hey." I said as she picked up. "What wrong?" She asked. I can't even begin to wonder how my voice sounded that she of all peopled noticed. "I need to talk to you." I said. When I hung up, I stood up and I put my clothes and as I did my mind kept wondering.

I am that girl. The girl that people watch go by. The girl that the boys just stare at the pretty face because there's nothing more to stare at. The girl that the other girls talk to. "Tell us your secret." They say. Hmm. As if this was something to be excited about. A couple of days ago a little girl came to me. A freshman. Boy are they naive. She asked me how do I do it? How did I get so skinny? Because she'd been trying. And she couldn't get herself to be pretty. Did she really think I did this on purpose? Did she really think I wanted it? I've always loved myself. I've always loved the way I look. It all stared July. 110, tall and perfect. Then I made the mistake or running away. And that month, I lost ten. And then, it just didn't seem to stop. I had made my body used to it, so that it would ask for less and less. Then a 100 turned into 90 and 90 turned into the magical number 87. Dangerland. Ten months, over the course of ten months I lost 23. Great. So when I looked at the little girl and I saw her a flash of guilt rushed through my skin. She was startled by my figured. Impressed with my body and style. Her eyes were glowing as she waited for me to answer her, as if I was her fairy godmother and I could give her everything she ever wanted. So I answered. "Piece of advice kid, you're beautiful. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And you, you don't want this." And I turned around and left. Truth is, that little girl hadn't been the first, and unfortunately not the last either. Do they think I really wanted this? Do they want it so badly? Fine, they can take it, 'cause I'm so done with it. So sick of it.

So when I heard about Sandy, about the official diagnosis and the fact that she was locked up I thought I knew what to do. I drove there and when I rushed to her room, I packed her things and told her we where making a run for it. Just a small one. Driving had always calmed me. Sometimes when I was really upset about something I would take the truck for a drive in the middle of the night. Just around the north side. "Where are we going?" I did not think this through. I shrugged without looking at Sandy. "Where do you want to?" She shrugged too so I just kept on going. I didn't realize we had left Tulsa until we saw small villages around us. I didn't want to go back so I just kept driving. The clock marked 11:34 and I could hardly see straight. "I think we should go back." I nodded. Unfortunately I thought so too. But when I turned around there was a nasty sound coming from the engine. Ugh. That didn't sound good. I was pushing hard on the accelerator but I was only barely moving. So I pulled up to the side and inside the forest. I guess we shall call it a night and set up camp or something.

It's not a good thing when your car brakes down in the middle of fucking no where. "We can't just stay here! What are we gonna do?" Sandy asked. "Well, it's not like there's some kind of hotel nearby. We stay here until I fix this." "Yeah? And how are you gonna fix it?" "It can't be that hard to fix a car. Soda does it." Suddenly I wish I had listened to my brother when he tried and failed to explain me mechanics. So after an hour of calming hormonal Sandy -.- and setting up our little improvised camp, I took a look at the engine. So I pulled some stuff here and cleaned some stuff there and yeah. "How is it?" Sandy asked. "I got no effing clue." "What?" She asked. "You've been doing this for over half an hour." "Yeah well, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." I snapped, leaning against the hood with my greasy hands over my head. "Sometimes I don't know what the fuck I'm doing." Sandy took a deep breath and closed the hood of the car. She took my arm and dragged me to sit by the fire she had set up. "I really think you should talk about it. About whatever that's bothering you."

There's So Much You Can Learn But You Don't Want To Know

2011-04-04T19:26:00.003-05:00

Sometimes there are some things that are better left forgotten. Like a childhood memory. Or a bad expirence there. Or the fact that someone close to you, as in blood close, might've shared more with you than they are supposed to.

So Dimitri, Jelly, Katie, Soda, Blair, Dallas, Chase, Dawn, Steve, Darry, Pony, Two-Bit and I were all hanging out on the house. As in the official Curtis Residence. And we were doing what we do best, well, what we do second best which is chat and talk and pretty much waste each other's time. And we were talking about the old times. And Soda and Steve, besides their usual argument about how supposedly it is Steve's fault that everyone now know Soda's petite, which is really not true, stupid Soda just misinterpret what was said, they were fighting over Jelly. "I can't believe you kissed Jelly! She was my girlfriend!" "Dude, it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't really matter." "Matter?!" And that's when Soda stood up to size Steve up. "It fucking matters to me!" And Steve with his cocky personality just folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Why?" He said as though it was no big deal. "Because the night you kissed Jelly was the night I kissed Jelly for the very first time." Jelly almost chocked on her drink. "What? You kissed her that night too?" And that's when Steve got up. We all turned to look at Jelly, who was turning tomato red and tried not to laugh. All except Dimitri, who I think was starting to get pissed. I guess it hasn't been Jelly's most faithful week. Oops. "Two guys in one night?" Blair scoffed. "That's nothing." "Yeah." Dally just added but he got eyed so he shut up. "And here I was thinking she became a slut after she came back from Seattle." Jelly gave me the middle finger and I blow her a kiss.

"Okay, tell me when did this happen?" Steve asked. "After you told me that she was passed out in my room, I went in there to make sure she was alright. She was lying on my bed, all buried in coats or whatever it was. Well, I went to kiss her on the forhead but it was so dark I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away but then I felt her kissing me back. It was only for a second but it was amazing. And now I found out that you kissed her first!" Soda said stomping his feet like a little boy. "Wait, what bed did you say she was on?" He took a step closer to Soda and looked like he was trying to figure out something. Soda frowned for a moment. "Well, mine." He said as though stating the obvious. "Dude, I'm pretty sure I put her on Kitty's bed." Steve said pointing at me. "No, she was defintely on my bed." "Can you cut it out on the beds?" Blair interrumpted. "No! The beds are important." Steve said not looking away from Soda. "Soda, why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed? I mean we all know that's just self-destruction." "Yeah." We all agreed. "Well then who was on my bed?" Soda asked.

I turned to look at Jelly and whispered. "Jell-O, what night was this?" I asked. She leaned in closer, like she was trying to avoid Dimitri from listening. "Do you remember that party that Soda threw when your parents were away on a camping trip? How it got totally crashed because they got home early?" "Yeah." I said and that's when it hit me. I think my eyes got all wide as I yelled. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" Everyone turned to look at me because I was seriously freaking out from what I had just figured out. Soda was the first one to make sense of it. "No! No! No!" He yelled. "Yes!" I yelled back standing up a little too fast that I dropped my drink. "You were the one passed out on my bed?" I nodded nervously. "Uh huh." "Kit! What the hell were you doing on my bed?!" "I couldn't find my way to mine! I was too drunk to do anything!" I yelled in defence. "OH MY GOD!" Soda said putting a hand over his chest. Perhaps to prevent his heart from virtually ripping off his chest. I know, I was feeling the same way. "You were my mystery kisser?" "Hm. This just keeps getting better and better." Dally said leaning back on the couch. We ignored him. "The hell with that! You were my first kiss with Jelly?!" "You were my first kiss EVER?!" Oh god, I could feel all my insights moving in ways they shouldn't. It's one thing to have your first kiss and not know who it was. It's another one completely to have it with your older brother.

"Um, you guys, does that mean we get to see you two make out now?" Dimitri said as he could hardly contain his laughter. I shot him a look. "Yeah, I mean, I always knew you two were close but I never took you for the incest type." Dear Darrel added. "God, I think I'm gonna go puke." I said. "Yeah, me too." Soda added. "Well, don't follow me into the bathroom!" I yelled. "Right!" And he went outside. "Well, I guess we resolve the matter of who was Jelly's first kiss." Chase said.

On The Hunt Down After You

2011-03-29T21:05:00.005-06:00

"I hate you." "Really?" "Yeah! I just gave you the best birthday idea and now you tell me I gotta do one of my own? I mean, no matter what I do your present is still gonna overshadow mine!" I growled. "Look Kitty, you're just hormonal 'cause you haven't been eating well. You're trying to win a fight with illogical arguments." I wanted to punch him. "Fine. I call the day and you stick to the night." So I went to my room to try and come up with something suitable for Jelly's birthday. I spend most of the morning trying to figure out a way to top Dimitri. Until I spoke with Soda and he gave me the best idea ever. Thanks Soda.

So I called people (Chase), who called people (his mom), who called some other people (his mom BFF) and got me with the band manager. It took me all day to convince him that his band's number one fan wanted to meet them personally. That and I told him I was pretty. Girls, when everything else fails, act cute. So today I woke Jelly up with bagels and hot chocolate and The Breakfast Club, our little tradition. Yeah, we're that corny. That's what I mean by Jelly being in my bed before Dim. Geez. Then I told her to dress up. She let me do her hair and make-up. :D And then we were on the road towards Oklahoma City. I sped so we could get there faster 'cause I promise Dimwit she'd be back by six. Jelly had a famous Kitty style police persecussion. No one has ever caught this bitch. So when we got to the city, I drove directly to a recording studio. I blindfolded her and lead her inside. We were greeted by the manager. "Jelly, do you promise to trust me and do whatever I tell you to do no matter what?" She frowned for a second but nodded. I smiled. "Ok, take three steps forward. Stop. Look up and whatever you feel, just lean in and press back." Am I the best best friend in the world or what? Jelly took off the blindfold and stared into his face. For a moment she was speechless. I was afraid she had literally died of shock. But she didn't she just screamed and jumped up and down. "Oh my, God! Oh my, God! I actually kissed him!" Yep, she did. Jelly turned to look at me. "But what about Dimitri." I shook my head. "Don't worry, I already handled him." I discreetly send Dimwit a text explaining what happened. I had to promise him I would buy Jelly some lingerie. -.- Sigh. So long story short, we hanged out with the band and Jelly got like a gazillion pictures with John Taylor. Then we drove back, but we stopped at two spots. The lingerie store, which every single employee looked at me with weird looks as I was the one buying Jelly underwear. Then we went to do something Jelly and I had been wanting to do for weeks now. We got matching belly button rings.

Well, I got mine changed and Jelly had hers pierced. Luckily, Jells was too high on wet fantazies of John Taylor to really feel the pain. Good. I didn't want her to brake my hand when the needle went through her skin. They're pretty, aren't they? I got the 'B' and 'Fucking' one and Jells got the other. So we drove back to Tulsa and I handed her over to Dimitri. "Jelly's got a little surprise for you." I whisper in his ear. ;) And that's how you do it.

She Underestimated Just Who She Was Stealing From

2011-03-19T11:25:00.006-06:00

There's so many things I'm feeling right now. So many that I can't even describe. But I'm trying really had not be angry. I had a little encounter with dear Miss Marcia yesterday. I was walking with towards the DX to see who wanted to hang out or something. And there she was, sitting on the hood of her car talking to Dallas and Jamie. Jamie looked pissed and Dallas was just enjoying himself. I wondered what was going on, so I walked up towards them. "Hey guys. What's up." But they didn't hear me cause just a few seconds later Jamie yelled at Marcia. "You fucked my brother, you dirty whore?!" Whoa. I just stood there. "What?!" And the three of them turned to look at me. Dallas was really direct about the whole thing. "Kit, would you like to give me a blowjob cause your boyfriend cheated on you." I wanted to punch him were it hurt so bad but I kept my composture. "Um, no Dallas, I do not want to give you a blowjob. That's what you got Blair for." I turned to look at Jamie and at Marcia. Jamie looked sincerly apologetic with the whole thing and kind of uncomfortable. Marcia was, I can't even begin to describe the look of pleasure in her face. "What?!" Jamie took a step back, probably keeping a safe distance between her and my fists. "Marcia hook up with Two-Bit." Jamie almost whispered. I turned to look from Marcia to Jamie and then back to Marcia. "That's right. Your boyfriend cheated on you."

I took a deep breath. "Didn't mommy tell you, Marcia, that stealing other people's toys ain't very nice." Marcia turned her head to the side. "Well, it ain't stealing if the toys aren't yours anymore." "Ooh, cat fight." And Jamie shot Dallas a look. "What's that supposed to mean?" Marcia chuckled. "I didn't force him to do anything, KitKat, he reached out to me. He wanted to spend some time with me. Didn't he tell you? He can be himself around me. Said so himself." I ultimately refused to believe her. But everything she said. It was as splinter, working its way through everything we had built. I took a deep breath and stared directly at her. "Was he good? I mean, was it worth it?" Jamie probably thought I was out of my mind for asking such question and I reassured her I knew what I was doing. Marcia didn't hesistate to answer me. "Yes he was, and yes it was all very worth it." I nodded. "Good, because I'm about to punch you." And that's were I threw dignity out the window and reached out to hit her. But Dallas hold me back. He carried me as I fought off his grip trying to reach out for the slut. Marcia just laughed and when I calmed down, Dallas put me back on the ground. "You know, you shouldn't be taking it all on me. Two-Bit was responsible too." "I don't care who stared it. I just want you to end it." "I'll end it when he says so." "Fine. And he will."

Then I got on my car and drove away, annoyed way out of mind. I drove around town for a few hours. Not really wanting to go home. Not really having anywhere else to go. I just wanted to calm down before I did anything drastic. Finally, I ended up in front of my door. I opened it. It looked like no one was home, until I walked towards my room. Two-Bit was laying on the bed watching some TV. "Hey." I said. He turned to look at me and smiled when he did. "Hey. Where you been?" I decided to make it fast and hopefully, painfree. "I know about you and Marcia, Two-Bit." His smile faded. "What?" I nodded. "She was at the DX today and she told me all about it." Two-Bit sighed as he turned off the TV and walked over towards me. "I'm sorry." He said as he placed his hand on my cheeks and moved a few strings of hair from my face. "I should've told you." I looked down for a moment. "It's okay." He looked confused. "Wait, you're not mad?" I shook my head. I was trying not to be. "No. I mean, people make mistakes, right? And you're sorry." He smiled and kissed me. "You're the best." He whisper in my ear. I know. Then one kiss led to another and one touch led to another and I decided two can play the game.

Bitches Don't Just Happen; They're Made

2011-03-12T17:42:00.000-06:00

I'm gonna kill someone. I'm gonna kill HER. So Monday was International Beat The Physicotic Ex-Girlfriend Day. Okay, so I may have made it up, but who cares, really? I gave everyone something to do. So Dim and I had long talk about little Megan, because the bitch called... again. At the point were we actually had to tell the doorman to not let her in the freaking building. We were sitting on the living room, while the rest of the people were sound asleep. "What are we gonna do about her? She's become too much of a problem." I said tapping my fingers against the sofa. It was three in the morning and I couldn't sleep. "She's always been a problem, Kit. Just that now, everyone's been able to see it." I nodded. "Tell me something about her. I just one reason. Just one reason to track her down and kill her." Okay, so maybe not literally 'kill her' but maybe, perhaps a serious beat down. "What to say? She's a bitch." I scoffed. "That doesn't say much. I'm a bitch, Dawn's a bitch, Blair's a bitch. You gotta be more specific." Dimwit chuckled. "Well, she kept Chase to herself and didnt want him to be around his friend. She kept telling him she came first. She torture Chase's best girl friend mentally and ruined her self esteem so much that she killed herself. She threatened Chase, telling him to never break up with her. She would try to get in his pants all the time in public. Once at a party she tried to get me to sleep with her. Big HELL NO.-" "Stop! I can only kill her once!" Dimwit chuckled but continued. "She would comment on his clothes and hair and if she didnt like it he couldn't wear it. She would tell people about all the hot sex they would have when I know for a fact he never once slept with her. She told my best friend Ashley that she just wanted Chase to knck her up so she could dump him and ruin his social life." Wow... "Hey! I thought I was your best friend!" He shot me a glare. "Not the important part, Curtis!" I chuckled. "I know, I know. Damn." "Yeah... So what now?" "If she comes back, let her, but call me." I winked at him, got up and went to sleep. *insert devilish smile*

The phone rang. It was Chase. Not five minutes later, we where back in the apartment. "Remember me?" And we started beating her, until Chase said to drag her to the lot. And that's what we did. With a duct tape over her mouth and Carson's tight grip, we drove her to the lot. I felt like those people that people have people that have other people call. :D We took the tape off of her, like a band-aid, fast and painful. "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell did I ever do to you?" I decided to do the talking because if I am being honest, I had a hell of a lot to say to her. I leaned down next to her. "Honey, have you ever heard of a lovely force called Karma? Well let me tell you, Karma's only a bitch if you are." And so Dawn got on top of her and threw some punches here and there, specially in the face. But we kept her concious. "I'll tell the police about you. This is not fair! You'll pay for this!" I chuckled. "Hmm. Like it was fair what you did to Kelly? You see, little Megan, you can go and tell whoever you want about us. But you what will happen when we get to testify? I don't think 'I drove a girl to commit suicide' really makes you look good." Then, because she really had nothing else to do. She spit on me. The bitch spit on me. Major ewww. So I punched her. Quite painfully. One good thing about being a skinny ass, is that your knuckles are just skin and bone and if you have ever been punched by someone like that, you know, it hurts like hell. "You see, no matter what we do to you today. Nothing, will ever be as bad as what you did to her."

You have to see Preggo Blair beating someone up. It's hilarious as shit. So many uncontrollable hormones. And Angela and Jamie grabbed her arms and legs and pulled her towards them. I think I heard something crack. Ouch. And Jelly, boy, an angry Jelly is never a good thing. Because Megan even had the nerve to call her Dimitri's new slut. Mix that with a merry-go-round and you get Megan literally all over the place. But the one that really just made my day was Dawn cause she brought a baseball bat with her. Okay, so maybe it was a inflatable bat, but it still hurts when she punches you in the eyes with it. But the really great part came later, when we took her to the Curtis' residence and cleaned her up, half unconciouss. I made the call of a lifetime and waited. A devil smile and waited. Dawn and I knew that no matter what we did, nothing would be good enough, so after my talk with Dimitri, I had it all planned. We dropped her off at the hotel she was staying, drugged her, so what she would remember from the day before would only be a bad dream. I woke up Chase and filled him in. And no surprised, he was more than delighted to help. The phone rang. "Hmm. Right on schedule." I said. "Hey." Chase said. "Chase! I just got your message." "Look, Megan, I'm so sorry about everything. I just realized that what you and me have, well, nothing can ever break it. So, will you meet me?" I saw the look of disgust in Chase's face. What I would've payed to have seen Megan's. There was a small silence. "There's a park right in front of my hotel. The spot next to the pond?" "See you there." He hang up. "Woah Chase, I didn't know you had it in you." He shrugged. "I have my moments." So with a plan in mind, Chase went to meet Megan, while Dawn and I went to meet someone else.

We waited for them and listened closely. "This is why you and me should always be together Chase. It's things like this that bring us closer. You and me, everyday." She tried to grab her hand but Chase push her off. "Look Megan, I don't want you in my life anymore, you little bitch. What you did to Kelly is unforgivable. I hate you. And there is nothing I regret more than having date you." Megan looked so pissed and confused. "What?! But you said-" And that's where she started playing her abandoned puppy charade. "So you're just gonna go back to that Dawn like nothing ever happened and just leave me all alone?" That was our cue. "Oh, you're not alone, Megan." Dawn said. And Megan's eyes narrowed. I bet she suddenly remembered last night. "Yeah, we're here now, and we brought some people that really want to see you." I added.

The only thing feared by the spawn of Satan? Mom and Dad. The look on Megan's face. That made it all worth it. "Okay um, mom, dad, this is not what you think, you have to believe me." I placed a hand over her shoulder. "There, there, Megan, it's gonna be okay." "No, this time it won't." Her mom stepped in. Oh snap. "Or, it won't." Dawn added walking to her other side. "Your parents were so worried, Megs, they told us everything. How you were supposed to be in Rockwall Instituion but instead hitchhiked into another town stealing credit cards and stalking people to find your ex-boyfriend." She tried to avoid my glance. "You didn't see where they send me. That place was awful. It was- it was in Utah." Well, what else do you expect from a mental institution. "We were trying to help you." The Mrs. said. "I've had enough. I have to go." "Megan, stop!" Her dad grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back. "Yes, Megan, stay, we'll go." Dawn said. "Oh, that reminds me, I almost forgot to leave you the information we discussed with your parents." I handed her a brochure. She looked at it with fear in her eyes. "What's this?" "Where you're going." Said Mr. "A boot camp for troubled girls." I couldn't have said it better myself. "Dawn and Kitty were kind enough to do some research." We gave our most angelic smile. Then we lean in and whispered in her ear. "Have fun in reformatory school." We said, as the three of us walked away.

Poor thing. I almost felt bad for Megan. But she should know. Leave it to us Greasers to know bitches don't just happen; they're made.

I Hear The Call Of A Lifetime Change

2011-02-12T15:24:00.005-06:00

Ten more minutes and hell would finally be over. Blah blah blah blah blah. It'd be funny if the ceiling dropped on her and we would all be excused from her class for the rest of the year. 9 minutes with 40 seconds, you gotta be kidding me. I rested my head on the desk and prayed to God someone would shut her up. Then my phone rang, or more like vibrated, in my pocket. That is a really pleasing vibration ;). I took it out and checked the caller's ID. It was Soda. I glanced at the clock again. Six more minutes. Oh well, Soda could wait. Don't bet on it. By the time the bell rang, I had seven missed calls. That made me wonder. First, my dear brother knew I was in school so it just had to be important. Second, even if it was not important, it sounded desperate. So I dialed back and the person who answered took me off guard. "Kitty?...I need you." I could barely understand what he was saying. There was a none-stop burst of cries. Oh god... "Soda, what happened?" But I couldn't get past anything more than just a simple "I need you" again so I ran towards my car, not really caring if I skipped class, and drove like crazy towards the house.

I looked all over for him but he wasn't anywhere to be found. Finally I heard the cries, so I opened the door to my old room and there he was. Curled up in the bed he looked like a mess. I sat down next to him and pulled him towards me, hugging him tight. "It's ok. Shhhh." I gently rocked him back and forth like mom used to do and brushed his hair with my fingers. A million things ran through my mind. Every thought more scary than the other. Finally, I just had to ask. "Soda, what happened?" He turned to look at me and his expression made me gulp but I put on the bravest face I had because I knew he was looking for comfort in me. "I uh..." He took deep breaths. I couldn't even begin to imagine how hard it must be for him. "I sleept with... with... with Sandy." Talk about strong statements. I held him even tighter as I made sense of what he had just told me. He slept with Sandy which means he cheated on Katie which means he's hurt which means it could hurt her. Yeah, my brain was that slow. I could see now why he was so upset. I gave him all the time he needed to cry and it felt like years just standing there not knowing what to do. "Kitty, what am I going to do?" He asked. I was about to say something highly innapropiate but I shut up. "You gotta tell Katie." Simple answer, not so simple to do. He looked at me in a way that clearly said he was hoping I could come up with something better. But I was right and he knew it. "Look, I'm not going to lie and say that what you did was ok or that there is an excuse to justify it. It was a mistake but you can't lie about it cause it will only make it worst. You're really sorry and that counts for something. Katie will understand, I promise. It might be hard at first but she'll understand, if you tell her now before she finds out from someone else." He cried harder and for a moment I felt like the adult. "But first, you gotta learn everything that happened." I handed him a box of tissues and just then his phone rang. Caller's ID: Sandy. Before I could reach for the phone Soda picked it up.

They agreed that she would come over. I silently thanked God Katie was still at work. A few minutes later, Sandy was out the door and I stayed in the room to give them some privacy, and if you ever been in my room you know you can hear whatever it's going on at whatever part of the house. :D Three pregnancy tests later. Yeah, they where positive. Which made me frown in confusion. Pregnancy may not be the only reason Sandy was late. I walked towards the bathroom. "Soda, can you give me a moment with Sandy, please." He nodded and closed the door behind him. She looked scared to see me. I wasn't going to yell at her or anything because that wasn't my place or anyone's place. "Sandy, I know that the pregnancy tests where positive, but with your physical apperance" I refrained from saying your skinny ass can't have any kids. "It is unlikely that the pregnancy would be successful. I mean you know that one of the consequences of an eating disorder is infertility." She nodded and told me how she didn't believe the test and wanted a doctor's appointment to make sure. Out of the goodness of my heart, a shocker I know, I offered to go with her. I didn't really want another niece or nephew on its way.

Then she left and Soda was a bit more stable. He looked defeated. Damn. I never seen him so down before. I placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's time to tell her." So he called Katie and she came rushing in a few minutes with the same assumption I had had that something was wrong. I think Soda almost had another bawling fit when she saw her. "Katie? I have to tell you something." So I gave them some privacy and went outside.

All Those Lonely, Lonely Times

2011-02-03T15:10:00.006-06:00

"Kitty? What are you doing here?" Dimitri's confused face stared at me. "What? Now I need an invitation?" He shook his head as I closed the door behind me. "No dummy, but Jelly said she was going to hang out with the girls. I just assumed you where with her." I nodded. Jelly had thought it'd be fun to have a girl's night out, but I wasn't really in the mood to party or hang out or do whatever she had in mind for us. I just wanted someone to talk to. I stood nervously playing with my fingers. "Kit, what's wrong?" Dimitri said. I shook my head. "That's the thing. I don't know what's wrong. But I thought I could come here and maybe talk about it." I walked over to the side of his bed. He was still hooked up to some machines. Jelly's dad had said that he'd be able to go home at the end of the week. We where all eager for Friday. I was convinced this would've been a hell of a lot easier if we where in the sanity of his house, where there was the reassurance that no one would burst in unannounced.

"Ok, so let's talk." He said. The way he smiled made me feel like I could him everything. Every single thought that worried my mind. But I wasn't really sure how to start so I asked for his help. "Mind if you start doing the talking? I think it would be better." He tried his best to not look confused, for which I was thankful. He took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, you know how Jelly and I just celebrated our eight month anniversary." I nodded. How can anyone miss those? "After Chase took Jelly out, Dr. Winston, I mean James, can by to check on me and we talked for a while." A smile plastered through his face and I wondered what he was about to say. "We talked about Jelly mostly. And I asked him what he would think if I asked Jelly to marry me." At the M word I think I almost jumped of joy. I had to remember that a) Dim was a boy so he wouldn't do the happy dance with me and b) even if he did he was literally incapacitated. Hehe... "Yeah. He said he would be happier about it. Which lead me to think. It was right to save Jelly. I love her more than anything. I couldn't bear anything hurting her. That's why it was worth it. I would've probably lost my mind if she had been in my place." I smiled gently. "You know, I really want to say that if you do that again I will beat you, but no. It's not that I want you to get ran over by a car or anything, what I'm saying is that if one of us is ever trouble, we would be more than lucky to get saved by you. If that makes any sense at all." I really felt like I was talking in circles. Twisting the words around so that no one could understood me. It was frustrating though because I always had a way with words. To say what I really meant the way I meant it. Dimitri seeme to read my thoughts. "Yeah I get it. And don't worry if there's ever another damsel in distress or one of the guys can't seem to throw a punch coughDallascough, I'll be there." I chuckled and punched lightly on his good shoulder. "Now you're being a kissass." We laughed for a moment. Genuine laughs that hang in the air. I almost forgot something was wrong. That was, until he brought it up. -.-

"So, what's up with you? How you feeling?" I had meant to chuckled in a mocking manner but all that came out was an arrogant scoff. Slightly what I wanted to portray. "You have no idea." He stared patiently at me and when I didn't continue he spoke. "Well then, give me an idea." I sighed. I really didn't want to get into that. I never really talked about it with anyone. But I knew that Dimitri wouldn't stop asking until he got what he wanted. It took me a moment to put it in words. "Sometimes I feel like I am made of paper, you know. Very delicate, very fragile. When people see me they look at my body and they instantly know that there's something wrong. They need to be careful. I don't want them to be careful. It's like I'm not even myself anymore. Like I have this boundary limiting my every move." There was a small silence. He had pulled the trigger and now I couldn't stop talking. I wondered if that was a good thing or not. "Before you woke up, Grandma Liz took me to see a doctor. Easy to say that she wasn't very happy with me. I'm not really gonna repeat what she said because there's no use but what's important is that I have to find a reason, a physicological reason, that lead to starvation. And then make amends with it." I scoffed again. "It's easy for her to say. I have no idea what's wrong. I just know it happened." Long paused, maybe a sniffled. "There are days, you know, when I feel like crap. Like nothing-even-matters crap. Those are the days when it feels like I should just give in and be done with it. But then, like Grandma Liz said, that wouldn't be fair to anyone. She's right. But it's not enough. Everything she said is not enough to fully convince me that I don't want this."

I felt small tears fill in my eyes and escape through my cheeks. I turned around so that Dimitri wouldn't see me cry because I can't stand it. He rested his hand over mine. "Kitty, it's ok to cry. Really. I'm your best friend. I don't judge. We're the none judging Breakfast Club." I chuckled at the last part. He had been spending too much time with Jelly. But despite that, he was right. So I turned around to face him with tears in my eyes. He smiled warmly at me and I nodded. I took a deep breath before continuing. "A couple of days ago I took a pregnancy test because I was late. I've never been late in my entire life so it was quite a shock. I figured out later that I had been late for two months now and two months ago I hadn't had sex, so it all just made sense." I paused and he nodded in understanding. "Anyway, as I held the pregnancy test, negative if I must say, it hit me. This is real. I mean this is really happening. I'm getting married in June and then we may start a family. I'm not ready to start a family and the only reason I didn't tell Two-Bit about it is that I didn't want him to think I was getting cold feet. I'm not. Dammit, I love him more than anything and I want this more than anything else, but I'm-." It took me a moment to put into words, mostly because by this time I was actually crying. "I'm- I'm scared." I said. "Oh Kitty." Dimitri said. He leaned forward all he could and stroke my cheek. "Come here." I laid down next to him, trying me best to take as little room as possible so I wouldn't make him uncomfortable. He hugged me tighly as I silently sobbed. "It's ok to be scared. There's nothing wrong with that. And I think you should talk to Two-Bit about this too, he'll understand. Don't worry." I closed my eyes for a moment and we stood in silence for a while. I was really trying to calm myself down. I felt better, in a way.

"So," I said after all was well. "You and Jelly are getting pretty serious huh? I call engagement ring?" I cleaned my eyes with a tissue and smiled because this news really did make me happy. "Yeah, I guess that would in order. But we'll see." "Do I get to choose? Be the noisy best friend that picks up the ring?" He cocked an eyebrow. "I might regret this but ok. "Yes!" I said jumping off the bed with joy. "Yay another wedding! There's gonna be a cake and a reception, and, I bet Jell-O would look sexy in creamy white!" Dimitri laughed at me. "Slow down, nothing's decided." I nodded. "Fine." "Ya feeling better?" "A little. Thanks, you know, for listening. I really need it."

Of Sex Talks And Doctor's Appointments

2011-01-24T15:19:00.003-06:00

The door bell rang. Jelly paused the TV and dragged herself up to the door. I took a sip of my beer. "Well, don't I get a hug from my granddaughter?" I spat the beer to the floor. That voice. I turned around hoping that my hearing was failing me. "Grandma Liz?" Jelly stuttered. "What are you doing here?" I would really like to know the same thing. I stood up and walked over to Jelly, keeping a small distance from her grandma. "So I need permision to visit you now, Angelica?" I really wanted to say that she needed to at least call but I bit my lip much to my displeasure. "Well of course not." I groaned but they ignored me. "Good. Good." Grandma Liz said dumping her...suitcases on our floor. Jelly's eyes and mine got huge. Oh dear God... "Angelica, please help me with my things. Now, where is the bride?" For a moment I wondered if I could take that as my cue to run out the door and stay at my brother's but that would mean Jelly would have to suffer alone. Tempting but I was a good friend. Damnit. "Hey Grandma Liz." I said as Jelly shot me a look that clearly said 'the moment she's out, we're moving'. The moment Jelly was out of our sight, Grandma Liz whispered. "So, how's the kid?" I sighed. "She's uh, she's doing ok. As good as it can go, but still, she's a bit sad and all. I try to not leave her out of my sight." She nodded. "Hmm. And Dimitri?" "He uh, well, he's hurt real bad. The doctor told us that he shattered some bones real hard and that there was some internal bleeding and possible brain damage. He hasn't woke up." My tone was slightly sad. It felt kind of a relieve to express what I really felt. With everyone, especially Jelly, I had to keep the optimistic face. I didn't want her to see me sad, it would only make things worst. "Now now child. Turn that frown upside down. He's strong. He'll pull this through." I nodded.

Just then, Jelly walked over. "So, how long are ya staying?" She said. "Your father called me. So I guess as long as I want." "Great!" Crashing at the Curtis' Residence: Approved. Grandma Winston was hungry so Jelly did some cooking and I did the table. Ten minutes into it, Grandma started to speak. ... "So, Kitty, does the groom put out?" I think my cheeks burned a bright red. "Uh... well." I was stumbling for the right words. How on earth do you tell a grown woman about your sex life? It isn't like we are really related or anything. "Oh. I get it. You're a virgin." Yeah... I'll go die now. "No, that's not what I'm saying-" "It's ok hun, there's nothing really that you're missing." She turned to Jelly. "Pussy." She whispered. I was tempted to kill the woman. I silently thank the lord that I never had a dinner together with my parents and Grandma Liz. I would've been dead by now. "Grandma, Kitty and Two-Bit are not virgins." Thanks for clearing that out Jelly. "They're not? Well I don't expect it from Half-Wit but she's not?" "No, actually they did it a few nights ago. They're first time." Now I wanted to kill both Winstons. "Oh I see." She turned towards me. "So tell me, he's not petite as your brother is he?" And I banged my head on the table. Then after half an hour of humiliation, we decided to watch some TV. Jelly and I where watching some 80s movie, but Grandma Liz switched it to the Super Bowl. She's a Steelers fan. Sigh. It was one thing that we had to listen to her screaming at the TV but another that she literally tackled us whenever the team scored a fucking touchdown. That's gonna hurt in the morning.

Then Jelly, being the smart person she is, told us she was gonna turn in. It was just me and Grandma Liz. I gulped. She got another cigar from her purse and lit it open. "So, there was another reason for my visit tonight." She said. I brushed the smoke from my face. I thought I would be free from that when I moved away from Ponyboy, apparently I was wrong. "Oh, really? I thought you had come over here to discuss my love life." She knows I got a mouth on me so it was ok. "That was a small treat for my amusement but that's not it. Before James called me I was already planning a visit to you girls." I watched attentively. "You see, your parents asked me never to tell you this, but once when I catched them in a passionate moment," That was an image I didn't want to have. "We had a deep conversation about you kids. They asked me to keep an eye on you if something where to happen to them. That's what I did. Besides, it keeps me on update on what's going on with you." She winked. "How else do you expect me to have known about Blair?" My eyes got wide. "You know about the new baby?" "Baby? What baby?" Fuck. "Uh... why do I feel I just screwed up?" "It's ok dear, Dallas is much to hormonable to keep his pants on. I would expect them to have use a condom though. Maybe I would pay them a visit before I leave." ... Sorry Dal. "Anyway, James told me about your little trip to the hospital in December." And here I was thinking things couldn't get any worse. "Alcohol intoxication? I am very disappointed. I thought that you of all people could hold their licor. I'm gonna have to teach you how to do it well." -.- "But that's not the point. Damnit it girl, I thought that you would be a little bit thinner than the last time I saw you but you're deadly skinny. Have you gotten your ass to the doctor?" Maybe if I played dead she would leave me alone. "Uh, an appointment? No I haven't had a chance. I mean, Dr. Winston got me some pills and that's what I take but right now all my money goes to the wedding and the bills, and I just quit my job so yeah." "Listen to me Kit and listen to me real good cause I'm only gonna say this once." Oh no. A pep talk from Grandma Liz is never good. "What you're putting yourself through, is deadly. You can die. Now how's that fair to anyone?" I sighed. "Yeah I guess you're right." "Oh I'm damn right. Now, we're gonna make an appointment tomorrow, I'll be my wedding gift to you, and you're gonna get your ass up there, you dig?" I nodded because if you want to know the truth, she was starting to scare me. "Now, I figured you'd be looking for your Somethings, so I brought you the garter I used on my wedding." She took out of her purse a white garter and handed it to me. "It can be your Something Borrowed." I chuckled. "That's nice of you. Thanks." Now I'm forced to use it.

The next morning Two-Bit and Jelly left to visit Dimitri and I was left to continue my misery. Thanks guys, really, thanks. -.- Grandma Liz absolutely refused to let me drive D:< and took me to see this nutriologist that Dr. Winston had recommended. I felt like I was being babysat. The doctor told me to change into a hospital gown/torture. "KitKat, what are those scratches on your back?" Grandma Winston asked. I sighed. "Uh, that's from when I had sex with Two-Bit on the Christmas Tree." "You had sex on a Christmas Tree?" "On top of a Christmas Tree." "Hmm. I will pass the tip to Angelica." :D So for the next half and hour the doctor who's name was, oh you're gonna love this, Dr. Condon, did some test and all. Then I changed clothes and we where called back in. Dr. Condon sat on her desk writing some notes on my report and keeping me at the border of insanity if she didn't hurry up. "Well KitKat, what can I say?" Damnit that was never a good start. "You're not healthy, that's for sure. Your blood sugar is low and your bones are weak. You told me yourself that you're tired most of the time, that you felt sick and that your throat felt sore." I kept my trap shut cause it felt like I was being scowled. "You weight 87 pounds. KitKat, are you even trying?" I bit my lip and tried to avoid Grandma Liz's stare. "I am. It's hard but I'm trying." Dr. Condon sighed. "In your case trying is not good enough. The appropiate weight for a 5'10" seventeen year-old should be, at the very least, 120 lbs. Now, I see in your report that you have been given some medicine." I nodded. "This is a physicological disease. The only way to treat it is if we determine what caused the emotional blockage in the first place. That's your homework. Your next appointment would be in two weeks and I hope to see some improvement by then." I nodded and we headed out. "See? That wasn't so bad." Grandma Liz said. I shot her a look. "You just payed to have a woman tell me what I already know." "Anyway, Angelica called, said that Dimitri was finally waking up. I think it would he would to see me." About that... But I didn't say anything.

So she drove on the hospital. I think Dimitri secretly wished he could drift back into unconciousness but I was just glad he was awake. That pussy had me scared to dead. Anyway, with Grandma Winston in town and all, I'm getting myself kidnapped by Soda. :D

Love Got Us Falling For Each Other Again

2011-01-14T19:26:00.002-06:00

If Two-Bit sounds particularly happy this evening, ask him why. I'm pretty sure he'll be just so completely thrilled to tell you how he- drum roll please, *THE EPIC MIGHTY DRUM ROLL*... got laid tonight. I know he did when he told Jelly. Over three hundred times. I think she might consider changing apartments for the night. Not that Dimitri would really mind.

So I'll tell you how it happened. I came home from work and unfortunately, school. -.- I was threaten that they would call Darry if I skipped class again. It's not my fault that their educational level doesn't reach my standards! Grrrr. But anyway, on to the good stuff. Two-Bit was starting to bring down the Christmas Tree, because we where lazy all week and we just started to get around it now. I told him that I had quit my job. Yeah, you heard right. It is the middle of winter, do you think people want ice-cream now? Well, I know you dumbasses do but the rest of the sane population of Tulsa don't. But we'll talk about that in another post. Two-Bit smiled when I told him and wrapped his arms around my neck. Our height difference has never been a problem. I told him that it felt so good to quit a job. I felt like me again. :D Just don't tell Darry I said that, or do, I don't really care. "So, I see your finally taking the decorations out of the tree." I said. "Yep. But we can do something better if you want." So I started kissing him and he obviously kissed back. We really got it on that time. But at some point I stopped. We looked at each other for a moment, like an intense stare type of look. I was debating with myself. Should I? Shouldn't I? Before or after I get officially married? Then I looked at Two-Bit and I caressed his cheek staring at his bright gray eyes. "Oh, what the hell!" C'mon I have never been old-fashion or traditional and he's the one I'm gonna be making love to later on anyway. So why wait? *Stupid smile/giggles inserted here.*

Well, you pretty much know the protocol in this particular department. "Wait!" Two-Bit said. "Shouldn't we go for the condoms?" Way to ruin the moment. "Uh. Sure. Let me go get Jamie's present." Oh how I love little Jamie, always one step ahead. So anyway, I went to my room, grabbed the condoms, peeked into Jelly's room to make sure we wouldn't have a problem there and jumped on top of Two-Bit. :D "You know, I was talking to Bre a few days ago about how I wanted to have sex with you on top of the Christmas Tree." I said as Tibbs kissed my neck. "So wanna try it?" He just laughed as he moved the hair out of my face. "Where you drunk?" He chuckled. "Maybe." "Okay then." I don't think you wanna know how, but we managed to knock down the tree and have passionate sex with pine needles all over our bodies. We give a new meaning to it. I think I have scratches all over my back. We kind of stepped into some crystal ornaments. But we didn't really care. I always thought that sex was just a pleasure, that the true meaning of love laid on the talks, the words, the actions, the tiny details, the hugs, and just caring and being there for the other person. But damnit, what have I been missing?! I say this because it was kind of like the first time. Steve-O doesn't count, 'cause when you're drunk they can bitch slap you across the face and you wouldn't notice. But this was real. So real it was scary.

I don't wantto get into a lot of details. I'm pretty sure you know what went on. After a while we just kind of went to our room and layed together on the bed. It would be awkward if anyone stepped in and saw us on the living room. Hehe. We cuddled together and hugged and cleaned up the blood that was coming from our rather deep scratches. Hehe. Sex on an ornament tree = intense but painful. I'm sure as hell not gonna repeat that. Now I know you're all thinking, "what happened with all the 'after we're married' shit?" I understand it's shocking but hell, like your hormones haven't ever gotten in the way. I just didn't want to wait anymore and amen to that. :D

Two-Bit, I love you and I love that you're part of my life. Cause it's pretty awesome and I never felt like this before. Would you stay in the morning? And spend forever with me? Je t'aime mon amour.

The Curtis Siblings In Real Life

2011-01-05T23:05:00.004-06:00

2011. New things, new stories, but same old selves. So the million dollar question. Who are the Curtis Siblings? To sum it up in a few words: we're a huge juicy delicious round jaw dropping, door stopping, table sliding, paper weighting, face powdering, armipt wiping, notebook writing, car cleaning, sexy looking, censor covering, portebello mushroom covered burger. :D But since I don't want to sum it up, I'll give you an ultimate, one in a life-time, limited edition outlook on MY life... yeah yeah and my brother's too.

Today I woke up at five in the freaking morning. Because we had "school" and we had to "get ready". I slept at the Curtis place because it was January fifth. What's so special about that? Every year, (when we remember) we have a little day in which the entire family spends it together, like we don't already do that but oh well, Darry likes to feel special about "bonding" us together. To never break the rutine, Ponyboy jumped up and down the couch, my new bed -.-, and almost broke my ribs waking me up. Little Darrel was taking us for a run. Anyone who knows Darrel knows that a 'run' is not only a run. It is a two hour long of freaking push uping, joging, sit uping, sweaty boding, rope jumping, sexy looking, body dying, Darrel murdering, and useless begging. It was not healthy or sanitary. Pony was ok with it, idiot, but Soda and I where gasping for our lives. We really have to get in shape, just not now. "Darry, what kind of cruel and usual punishment is this?" Petite boy asked laying on the grass. "I think he is torturing us because you fatty won't move out. Everyone knows that he wants the house all to himself so he can fuck himself without distraction. I know he likes it on top." I said. Darry didn't find it amusing and as a mean P.E. coach yelled at us to give the freaking neighbourhood three more laps. Soda and I got up that instant and I ran to tie myself on the swins pole. Soda did too, copy cat, just that he choose the one I was in. The picture isn't pretty. You got me wrapping my arms and legs around the thing and Soda wrapping his arms and legs and thing on me. It was gross. Now pulling one is easy, pulling us both was hard. So Darry pulled Soda and Pony pulled me. Did I mention Soda was being pulled away from the pole and I was being pulled towards the pole? Yeah, if I was a guy that would've been painful. Then I got an idea and I whispered it to Sofa. We let go and we each took our puller. I managed to get Pony out of his sweatshirt, because I'm tall and all and tie him to the merry-go-round. Soda did the same, dunno how, and we spin it. We ran away from after that.

We ate cake for breakfast. Well, Soda ate it, I just watched. Partly because he didn't share, and yeah you know the rest. We then got "ready" to skip school and work and went to hang out. We dressed as superheroes. I was Catwoman and he was, Petiteboy, yeah Batman. So we went on to fight evil and safe the world before dinner. Our first stop was the DX and we did the goodness of making holes in the tanks of socs so Soda here would get payed more when he worked. Then we went to the movies and as we where getting our tickets, the person at the booth looked at us weird. "What? Never seen a girl dressed before?" I asked indignant. Then I turned to look at Soda. "C'mon Batman, these civilians have no respect for their protectors." I don't know what movie was playing, not really care either. What we did was got up and walked to the front of the room and started roleplaying, as our superheroes XD. "You've kept me wating a long time." Soda said. I walked towards him cat-like. "Cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told, my dear friend." "As a superhero, I think that rule out to be changed. When trouble troubles you, you go." "Oh but trouble doesn't trouble me. I trouble trouble." I had to bite my lip as people started yelling at us to stop talking. We ignored them. "Such an independent lady, aren't you?" "I'm a cat, dumbass. Independency runs through my veins." "You got a mouth on you too-." "You would know." And since it would've been really really really awkward gross and ewwww to kiss my own brother, we placed our palms in front of our mouths and faked kissed us. It was epic. Then we got kicked out.

As our heroe adventured continued, we decided to go to the park to free the villains, our brothers. When we got there, the merry-go-round was empty. "Oh boy." I murmured. "Sodapop Patrick Curtis! KitKat Sarah Curtis!" We heard Darry's angry voice from behind. I turned to look at my brother and we nodded. "Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" So we ran. We got chased around the part like crazy. I swear little kids looked as us weird. One of them asked for our autographs because he was obviously a Dally kid version and thought dumbly we where the real ones. "Here ya go, kid." I said and then we ran some more. Then I saw the cops getting near and a plan hit me. "Hey Sofa." "Yeah?" "Want to avoid Darry's angry fist?" "Hell yeah." "Then hit me." "What?!" "Hit me." "Kit, I'm not gonna hit you." The cops started to get near and so did Darry. "Take me down! Make it look real! Make it look real!" I said that because Soda hits like a little girl, but he faked punch me and I dropped to the ground. The cops saw him and they went to get him. :D As Soda was being 'arrested' Darry and Pony forgot about their anger issues and came to my rescue, and Petite Boy's. "Kitty, are you ok?" Pony asked. "I can't believe Soda hit you!" Darry half yelled. "Yeah I know. I'm abused by my own brother." I faked cried. Half an hour later, after being spoiled and loved by my two remainding brothers, I pointed out the fact that Batman was still in a jail cell. So we had to go get him.

His charges where simple: Domestic violence, disturbing the public peace, dressing up as a fictatious superhero, not making a good impersonation of him, being petite XD, being hotter than the cops, being fat, and not having enough reasons to jail him. LOL! We didn't get charged with a fine. The cops said he was too annoying to keep. Soda was pissed off at me after that, saying that it was my fault that he had been jailed. "Well Soda, I never actually thought you would do it." "But you said!" "And you where stupid enough to agree with me." "-.-" When we got to back to the house we 'cuddled' all together, 'watched' a movie and just 'enjoyed' each other's company. Then we got bored of acting normal and we went back to being us. We played Seven Minutes in Heaven and Pony got Miss Spider. Note: Pony doesn't like spiders very much. But who cares, really? We got him in and then made bets on who would come out alive. Miss Spider won. Now Soda ows me a 100 bucks. :) Then it was Darry and Soda's turn and we got them in. There was a lot of noise, but we heard some things pretty clearly. "Well what do you want me to do?" "Do it right." lol I wonder what went on in there. After a couple of hours of incest we sat down to dinner. Or rather sat down to throw food at each other. There went an hour of cooking I'll never get back. I guess that's why we had a food fight. -.- Then I started to feel sick so they drove me back home. And this is the story of a girl, who begged for normal siblings and got these. :P

I'll Be There For You, When The Rain Starts To Pour

2010-12-30T23:33:00.003-06:00

1:34 a.m. I was soundly asleep, cuddling with my fiance on our comfortable bed. Until the phone rang... several fricking times. I ignored it and was willing to drift off to sleep again, but it annoyed Two-Bit so much to the point he had to stand up to answer it. I sighed as I repositioned myself between the sheets. I didn't make an effort to listen to the conversation, until Two-Bitch handed me the phone murmuring "It's for you." I'm not gonna lie. I was tempted to hang up and just go back to the cuddling, but then I thought that if anyone was calling this 'late' at night they must have a reason or it was important. So between a deep tired sigh, I spoke. "Hello?" The voice was shaking, crying and I frowned in confusion. "Sorry KitKat, Dimitri wouldn't pick up his phone. Sorry to bother you." Well of course he wouldn't pick up his phone, it was freaking one in the morning. "Elena? Um, don't worry." I heard Two-Bit groan in disagreement and I couldn't help but chuckle. Then I started thinking why the hell would Elena call me at this hour. I knew she was in California but whatever it was couldn't wait till the morning? My question was half-answered as I heard cars driving by. What the hell? "Hey, where are you?" My voice sounded concern. Something told me this couldn't be good. "I'm outside on the sidewalk...crying in Riverside, California." She sounded so worried and freaked. That made me freak a little bit too. I made an effort to hide the worry in my voice but the words alone betrayed me. "Why are you on the sidewalk? Where are your siblings? Please tell me you're not alone." Two-Bit turned to look at me, looking concern for the first time since the phone rang. His expression cleared asked me what was going on but I was too busy listening. For all I knew, this could only be a one-opportunity call. "They kicked me out...I'm alone...and it's so fucking cold!" I cringed my teeth smoothly. The family was starting to get on my nerves. How could they kick her out? What could she have possibly done that was THAT bad? It made me mad. I knew Elena wasn't a rose petal, but that didn't gave them any right to abandoned her like that. I knew Darry would have NEVER even dreamed of kicking me out because of something I did, and hell have I done it all. I took a deep breath trying to relax myself. I was not thinking straight of Elena's family and I didn't want to say something that I knew I would regret. "Ok, uh, hang on. E, do you have any money on you?" My first wild solution would be to have her come back to Tulsa, but I had my second thoughts about it. So I waited for her answer to determine my ultimate decision. "15$." I sighed. Even if she had had more money, I wasn't about to let her come home alone. I knew I had to get her myself if I wanted to make sure she was face. I glanced at the clock, fighting my desire to give in to sleep, and I rolled my eyes frustrated. "Ok, Elena, listen to me." I said placing the phone closer to my ear and mouth and speaking as clearly as I could. "Stay safe. Don't go with anyone or do anything that draws attention. I'm coming over to get you." Her voice was still shaking but it seemed a little bit calmer. "I'll be at the bar here...thank you, KitKat!" I nodded, forgetting for a moment she couldn't see me. "Stay there. It shouldn't take long for me to get there. If anything happens call me or Two-Bit, got it?" I said. "I got it." She said and hung up.

I sighed as I dropped the phone and enjoyed the five seconds I still had in the comfort of my bed. "What was that all about?" Two-Bit asked. I turned to look at him, with an empty face. "That was Elena. She's all alone in god-knows-where California and I'm coming to get her." I got up and walked towards my drawers. Putting on the first shirt I saw, some jeans, converse and a big jacket and walked over to the bathroom. "What? Wait Kitty, I can't let you go. Not when you're in this-" I walked out of the bathroom wrapping my hair into a ponytail. I looked at Two-Bit indignantly. "When I'm in what?" I asked. Two-Bit looked at me with an uncomfortable look. It annoyed me, the way he was pitying me. Maybe even anger me. "C'mon, say it." I said. "I dare you to say it." He sighed looking down. "In that condition." He whispered sofly. I nodded. "Well Two-Bit, as far as I'm concerned, I don't need your approval." I said grabbing only the essentials, placing them on a small bag, and walking to the door. As I got in the car I tried to think of how I could get to California faster. During the ride I went over my argument with Two-Bit and realize I had been really immature about it. I was tired and he just wanted to help. I mentally bitch-slapped myself about it. It's just... I didn't like to talk about it. I was still in denial. Yeah, I know that's a bad thing but at least keeps me as close to being happy as I could possibly get. I made a mental note to apologize to him later.

It took me eight freaking hours to get there and I almost fell asleep driving multiple times. I arrived at nine in the morning on Riverside and though my common sense yell at me to go to a hotel and get some sleep, I fought the need and started to look around for the bar she said she would wait on. There goes an hour more of my life. But I found her. She was sitting on a corner, tears still on her red eyes, and shaking none stop. I walked/run towards her, wrapping my delicate arms around her shoulders and conforting her like I remember my mother used to do with me. After a few minutes and as I washed her tears away, I looked at her and spoke softly. "E, what happened?"

As Fear Grows Please Hold Me In Your Arms

2010-12-16T21:51:00.001-06:00

It took me quite some time to be able to even speak about this without crying myself to sleep. I don't know how to tell you but I have to. Darry made me promise. He said that if I didn't, he would. He oddly keeps these promises.

I've always pictured myself as some kind of Greek goddess to whom nothing could ever happen to. I mean the only time I've ever been in the hospital or heavely injured was the time those socs beat Johnny, Jell-O, and I, and I even turned out all right! I have drank my weight in alcohol and I haven't had liver problems, I have drag raced and gone over the speed limit at stupidly high velocities and never gotten into a car crash, I have done a lot of recklessly dangerous things and practically cheated dead a million times, and yet I still am in one piece.

That's why this was such a shock to me. No, not in the good sense.

It seemed like things where getting better. Darry and I thought he was successfully getting me into shape. But apparently luck doesn't like putting me into a pedestal the way I do. I was getting better athletically but my body wasn't. Every day it become more and more often that I would spend half my day puking whatever I had of my guts left. I kept it to myself, mostly because I thought it had to do with the lack of physical shape but also because with everything that had been going on, I didn't want anyone to worry about me. I didn't give it a lot of thought or importance. I thought it would eventualy pass. But Darry found out. It was hard to keep it from him. The other's just thought it was simple hangovers or something but he knew better. He caught me in the act. He was worried out of his mind and insisted on taking me to the hospital. I, of course, argued there was no need for it. I was sure it would pass. I talked him out of it and convinced him to lay off for a while. But each day it got worst and worst and he got really worried.

But then I moved out and he wasn't able to check up on me every moment of every day. So that's how the descovery begins. I knew that this wasn't normal nor was it healthy, but I really didn't want to be checked on so I ignored it. It seems like the man in my life can't lay off cause Two-Bit got worried too. Not that I blame him though, cause I'm the love of his life and all that but he said he was taking me to see Jelly's dad in the morning. I 'agreed' but I wasn't going to do it. I spend the whole night trying to figure out ways to get out of it. When I woke up, since I'm done with school for the semester, Two-Bit called me in sick at work so I would be able to take it easy and wait for him. He was off and I stayed home alone. That didn't last long. I went out for a walk, trying to come up with a valid excuse but nothing hit me. So I went home. Knowing that Two-Bit would be home soon I did the only thing I could think off. In a pathetic desperate attempt to set myself free of that appointment, I drank every single drop of alcohol in the house, and if you have ever come to our apartment, you know that the only thing that's missing to turn it into a bar is Buck. But that's about it. So stumbling around the house I locked myself in the bathroom with another three bottles of Tequila, or was it Rum? I don't remember. I thought I had it made, ya know. After seeing me like this, who would want to take me out? But before I could scream victory, I started to feel sick and not just normal hangover sick but the kind of sick feeling that worried Two-Bit and Darry. After a while, all I had a chance to hear was the desperate knocks on the bathroom door, and then I sank into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke up I had the worst kind of headache ever and I was chained to all of this cables that where measuring my heart rate and all. I was like what the fuck. Looking around I saw Darry sitting on a chair with his hands over his face. He looked hopeless. I cleared my throat and he turned to look at me. "Hey." He said softly. I half-smiled at him. "What happened? Where's Two-Bit?" I asked slighly confused. I tried to remember anything that had happened but my head was to delicate. Darry sighed and placed his palm over mine. "Well Kitty, you got intoxicated with alcohol. That happens when the amount of alcohol in your blood exceeds your tolerance for alcohol." "I know what it means Darry. I'm just surprised." I whispered. Darry sighed heavily again. "Kitty, we found you unconciouss on the bathroom floor. What where you trying to do?" He asked. I could've just lied to him. I could've deceive him or set him off. But the pleading in his eyes and the worry and fear his face showed made me tell him the truth. "I, uh, I was trying to avoid going to the doctor with Two-Bit." Darry just kept looking at me and when he didn't say anything, I continued. "For the same reasons you wanted me to see one." He nodded. "Yep, I figured." He said standing up towards and intercum. "Hey could we see Dr. Winston please?" He asked the female voice at the other end. I looked at him exasperated. "What?" I asked. But Darry didn't answer, he opened the door for Dr. Winston and he smiled at me as he walked in. My face showed clear annoyance and irritation. "I didn't agree to any of this." I said. "Well Kitty, honestly, it isn't up to you to decide. As long as you're still underage and Darry is your guardian, he gets to decide." I couldn't believe this. This couldn't be happening to me. I looked at Darry bitterly and pissed off. "I'm sorry Kitty, but we need to check up on you. What's been going on, it isn't normal." I refrained from saying something I knew I would regret later.

So Darry told Dr. Winston everything that had been going on with me. Listening to it from another perspective made me realize how bad it was. We then went through some unpleasent uncomfortable tests and after four hours, we got the results. We where waiting in a room for Dr. Winston to come back. When he did he had an expression that frightened me. You know, like the kind doctors portray when they have bad news. It didn't expect what he told us and couldn't quite believe it. I... It's difficult to say so bear with me. I... I have... Bulimia...Nervosa.

I froze as the words sank in. I was trying so hard for it to just be a fantasy. But it was very real. I was suffering from an eating disorder that I couldn't get rid off. I closed my eyes and clenched my hands into fists. I could feel hot tears forming in my eyes but I fought them back. Dr. Winston told us a little bit about the desease. It is characterized by a cycle of binge eating followed by purging to try and rid the body of unwanted calories. Supposedley, people who get this desease aren't secure with their own self worth. They strive for the approval of others and do whatever they can to please them. They find ways to get rid of the calories and that's when the self-imposed purge starts. This made me clinched my fists harder. I was not like that. I loved myself and I sure as hell didn't look for the approval of others. I liked the way I looked. I didn't urge myself to be thinner. To me I was perfect. Then why the hell me?! Tell me, why did it fucking have to happen to me?! He also talked about the symptoms and consequences but I didn't want to listen to any of it. I'm not going to repeat what he listed because it makes me so freaking depressed and angry.

Jelly's dad asked me if I had ever done any of the above or if I had ever stopped eating for any reason. I shook my head no but then I remember a few months ago. When I ran away and into the unknown. I told Dr. Winston what had happened that month I was away. How I was so depressed and so sad that food didn't seem appealing. Unlike other people before this condition, I don't eat when I'm depressed. I told him that the only thing I fed myself with was water and occationally really small amounts of food. He nodded and added that when the body stops digesting food for a certain period of time and then it comes to its contact again, the stomach rejects it through a chemical reaction, resulting in vomiting. He assumed that's what had been happening to me in the last weeks. I placed my hands over my face and cursed almost inaudibly through my breath. Darry and Dr. Winston kept silent. I guess they where giving me some time to take it all in. After a few minutes, the doctor continued. He told us that Bulimia was curable but that it could be deadly if we didn't treat it. I bit my lip. I pressed it so hard I could feel blood passing through my taste buds. That made me sick, but I fought the urge to puke. I didn't want to contribute to any of this. Dr. Winston also talked about treatment. He said that I needed to slowly change my eating habits. Eat healthier. Try to get rid of negative thoughts and continue with the egocentric attitude I have. Talk to people. Don't let feeling bottled up. He told Darry how he needed to deal with this. Him and the rest of my friends and family. I cringed at the words. This was gonna affect everyone and that didn't seem fair. I hated it. He recommended we come see him, a dietician, and a couselor. That sounded expensive. God can someone shoot me? I didn't want to be there any more.

When it all ended, and where alone on the hospital room, Darry's phone rang and he got up to answer it. I sank into the pillow trying to fight back tears. I watched Darry intently as he whispered into the phone and turned to look at me when he thought I wasn't looking. -.- Then he hung up and sat down next to me. He removed my hair from my face and smiled slightly. "Two-Bit's on his way." I sank deeper and bit my lip. "You gotta tell him." I looked at him surprised. "You didn't?" "No. I thought it would be better if you told him yourself." He said. I groaned and hide under the covers. "I can't." I said. Darry took off the sheets from my face and forced me to look at him. "Why not?" "Cause, it's embarrassing." "He's your friend. Hell, he's your fiance." I sighed and closed my eyes. "Exactly. How do you know how he's gonna react? He'll freak! I don't want him to suffer because of me. This changes everything!" "This changes nothing." He said interrumpting me. "Look Kit, if he really loves you, which he obviously does, he'll stand besides you no matter what. Yes, this is shitty but we can get through this." A tear fell down my cheek. "What about the rest?" "You have to tell them too." "Why me?!" I groaned. "Cause they're your friends. They love you and they deserve to know." But before I could answer, Two-Bit arrived at the room and smiled when he saw me. Darry stepped to the side as he leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "What's wrong?" He asked. I turned to look at Darry who simply nodded. Sure, it seems like the easiest thing for him to do. He doesn't actually have to do it. -.- Sigh. "Two-Bit," I said taking a deep breath. "There is something I have to tell you."

The ride home was silent. I felt like jumping out the window or something. Two-Bit carried me all the way to our room. I clenched tightly to his shirt, feeling his warm heart beating. There was no one home and if there was I didn't really notice. All I wanted to do was crawl up to me bed and sleep. Two-Bit layed me down on the bed and locked the door behind him. I layed there tiredly. The tears that I had held back so hard where starting to fall down my cheeks. I was feeling completely vulnerable. After a few seconds, Two-Bit crawled up next to me and gently caressed my shoulder. "There there KittyKat, everything's fine." He said. He lifted me up. As light as a straw and brittle as a bird. I weight less than a shadow on the wall. Just one more whisper of a voice unheard. Could he shake this anger? I needed his gentle hands to keep me calm. My cries where painful. "Where going to get over this." He whispered sweetly. "You'll see." I cringed my knuckles. "No." I said. "No. There is nothing wrong with me. There just can't be anything wrong with me." Yes, I was in denial. 'Cause KitKat Sarah Curtis couldn't have an eating disorder. It wasn't humanly possible. Two-Bit sighed and held me close. I sank my face into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around me protecting me. I'd never dreamed I'd feel a fire beneath my skin. I'd never thought I'd lose. I only thought I's would win. I hated this.

Anger had taken over my body. I wanted to hit something. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell life to fuck off. I closed my eyes. I wanted all of this to go away.

A Little Piece Of Our Song

2010-11-23T20:54:00.006-06:00

About seventeen years ago a little girl was born. That's right. November 21st at around nine p.m. After two unsuccessful attempts, Darrel and Sarah Curtis where blessed with a beautiful daughter. No offense to any of my brothers, but let's face it, I was always the special one. So Sunday was my birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY! Why thank you, Kitty. :P And well, I didn't really do anything special. There is always a party at the Curtis house anyway, you guys don't really need me telling you to celebrate. So we all know Blair's accident. It was my birthday weekend, so yes, I was sleeping in his apartment. Of course I always crash there when I get annoyed at home but we keep our hands to ourselves. You will be informed when we decided to go looking for that kind of fun. I'm not ready yet, leave me alone. :P Two-Bit got up at the sound of the phone ringing, probably swearing while it, I mean we had gone to bed like ten minutes earlier :D and just started rushing to get there as soon as possible. He woke me up. -.- So I told him to get his ass back to bed but he disagreed and told me what had happened. To tell you the truth, I was too sleepy at the moment to react at all, I guess that's why Two-Bitch looked at me so weird when I wasn't sad, surprised, confused or whatever else emotion there should be. I'm sorry. So anyway, we went together to see Blair and my future nephew.

I don't regret or am even sad we spend the whole weekend there. Blair is practically my sister and there are that little things I wouldn't do for her. I would even turn lesbian just to ensure she doesn't grow old and with 4832 cats. :D Though on Saturday we where advised/kicked out to go home and all. Tibbs crashed at my place this time. November 21st, I woke up to the Happy Happy Birthday Song (google it, it's hilarious)by some pretty off-key males but happy that they where trying. :D I don't quite remember what my siblings got me, oh well, I'll remember later or they will tell you, but what I liked the most was Two-Bit's present. It was a locket. And not just any locket, a gold heart locket. Just for me!

I think my jaw dropped open because he laughed at my expression. "Open it." He said and so I did. Inside there was something engraved.

Cause with her, you can be true and with her, you can be you. Have you ever been in love?

A little piece of our song. "Have You Ever Been In Love?" By Westlife. I smiled and closed it but as I turned to look at him to kiss him, he kept looking at the locket and so I wondered what he was looking at. That's when I felt the other part of the egravement. I turned the locket so I could see the back and this time I smiled more widely than I had ever.

I love you.

And as my fingers delicately caressed the gold, he took the locket from my hands and placed it around my neck, and as he let my slighly short brown hair fall, he turned my head around to face him and leaned towards me and without question, without warning, without any interrumptions, he kissed me and it felt wonderful, like it always did. That's how I want to spend my birthday. I don't need a party or a celebration. Two-Bit stayed with me and we spend most of the day hugging each other, going for a picnic down by the lake, swimming, cuddling in bed, and simply enjoying our company. Because we're in love. And so I ask, have you ever been in love?

A Beer Blast And An Empty Stomach... There Goes My Mind

2010-10-27T21:09:00.003-05:00

Ever heard the quote "Old enough to know better. Too young to care"? Well, it certainly applies to my behaviour for the passed two days and a half. It was Monday night and I was finishing to get ready, because I was bored and there was nothing better to do than... yeah, you guessed right. I called Dally and asked him if he was doing anything tonight. The day he answers 'no' you'll know shit's going on. He said he'll pick me up at nine and show me a good time. I rolled my eyes. I had actually intended to hang out with Tibbs but the dumbass had turned in the moment we came back from work. Well I work he just sits around and entertains me. Anyway, when Dally came he took me to a new club, which he'll post about what we did later, I'm on to something else. Around two in the morning, we where really really really wasted. I don't think I've ever been this drunk before. Not even when the roofie thing happened. But I was and to make matters worst, I was drinking on an empty stomach. I had meant to eat something before I left but I forgot and then it was too late. Hehe...

Anyway, I knew that the moment the effect of the alcohol would pass and I would be dragged back to sanity, I'd have the worst hangover EVER. It was a school night and I knew for certain that dear Darrel would completly refuse to let me stay home because I decided to party the night before and I really didn't want to deal with such nightmare at school. So stayed drunk. Which wasn't easy, since I was fighting the stupid need to fall into unconciousness and we run out of beer by six in the morning. I had to go buy more. And then it was time for school. With the help of some mighty unseen powerful force, I somehow managed to get dressed...properly. I don't think I looked too pretty with my hair completely messed up, even though Sodapop tried to combed it. By the way, brother, you suck at fixing a girl's hair. I think Katie had to do it or I don't know. They also had to drive me there because I was stupid enough to insist on doing it myself and they didn't want me to commit a stupid attempt at killing myself. Yeah. Yeah. Pony was late, as usual, and kept nagging me about how he had a major test that he couldn't and didn't want to fail and that he wasn't going to wait around for me to get my ass up and running. He was really looking for me to shut his trap. -.- I already have problems of my own, I really didn't care about his.

I half-walked, half-dragged myself into the building when someone called my name and it took a smack on my back for me to realize they where calling me. "What the hell is with you?" Dear Dawn asked. I just turned to look at her, not really knowing who she was or where I was for that matter. The moment she gave me a good look, she knew. "Kit, on a school night?" I frowned with slight indignance. "Look who's talking, Cade. If anything you're the one who would drop out of school and do it every day, twice a day." Someone should really just put some duct tape on my mouth. I wasn't aware of what I was saying and I apologize... Because I now know I said stupid shit. Dawn just rolled her eyes, knowing I didn't really mean half of what I had said. Might or might not be true, that wasn't the point. She grabbed my wrist and I almost fell as she dragged me rather quickly through the halways and into homeroom. Truth be told, I have no hell of an idea what happened for the first three periods. I spend them sleeping, then was kicked out of the class and slept on the floor of the hallway. Security ain't that good because I was able to sneak in three beers without anyone noticing. Suckers! But it was fourth period that really got me up and running. Stupid Math. I had meant to sleep in that class too but Mrs. Apeface didn't let me. She yelled at me to answer her stupid problem and I said I didn't know. That went on for at least ten times. On the eleventh I got mad, so mad that not even Dawn could make me shut up. I yelled back saying that I didn't fucking care what the goddammed solution to the problem was and that math was for pussies and faggots who didn't have a social life. Well, that was the nice version. The real version is censored. Hehe... Mrs. Apeface got sooooo incredibly mad. She yelled at me to go to the principal's office. I refused. So she grabbed me by my ear, for all of you who don't know, Mrs. Apeface is rather small. She had to stand in her toes to reach me and I didn't make it easy. But she managed to grabbed me rather hard and take me to see Mr. Faggot. I think I tripped and made her tripped. When I refused to stand up, Mr. Faggot came in and between the two janitors, they had to lift me up and take me to his office. He sat me down on a comfy chair and asked me what I had done. I was meaning to tell him what Mrs. Apeface did but I think I just babbled stupid trouble-alluring shit. Fuck... He got pissed off and reached for the phone. I thought he was going to call Darry or Soda or maybe even Katie. But he instead called Ponyboy or at least called his teacher to send him up. I kept babbling stupid shit and I know wish my vocal cords can be removed. Pony was surprised when he entered the office but it dissappeared when he saw me. I don't know if that should flatter me or piss me off.

I greeted my little brother rather stupidly as Mr. Faggot asked him to sit down. I didn't really listen. Well, I couldn't stay focus long enough for me to listen but from what I did heard was that Mr. Faggot was reconsidering if Ponyboy was the best candidate to still be vice-president, or that shit he is, because he had me as an potencial bad influence. I reply saying that this was my meeting and not Peeboy's but no one listened to me. -.- The Mr. Faggot added that he would suspend Pony from his title until things at home where stable. Or at least that's what I think he said. I was about to give the principal a piece of my middle finger but Pone stopped me. He hold my hand so hard that it hurt. He was so angry. Shit. I was almost certain he was about to yell at me but I didn't wait around for him because next thing I knew, I dropped unconcious.

What I have to say for myself is that I'm really sorry, Ponyboy. I didn't mean to ruin your potencially good academic life and activities. I'M JUST SO REALLY SORRY! I know I deserve a punishment and all that shit but please, just forgive me. D": I PROMISE I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU! D":

Our First Piece Of Forever

2010-10-17T14:24:00.005-05:00

Two-Bit and I have been talking about our wedding. You know, just sorting out ideas on what both of us may want and all that. Nothing's settled yet but we do have one thing very clear.

Ladies and gentlemen, after a few hours of intense thought, Mr. and Mrs. Mathews (my god that sounds so cool) have come up with a few announcements:

Maid of Honour: Angelica Winston My Best Girl: Dawn Cade
Bridesmaids: Blair Mathews
Carson Randle
Jamie Mathews
Katie Curtis

(Jell-O and Dawn, you're both my best friends and since I didn't want to have to choose because I love you both equally, you're both my maids of honour. I just gave it different names to avoid confusions but you both get to do the same things. <3)

Darrel Curtis will be standing as the role of mom and dad. :D

Best Man: Sodapop Curtis
Groomsmen: Steve Randle
Ponyboy Curtis
Johnny Cade
Dallas Winston

Mrs. Mathews will do, well her thing.

Flower Girls: Breanna Parker
Brooklyn Cade
Ring Bearer: Rhiley Blaze Winston

Everyone is invited! We aren't sure of the date. And we're still discussing more details. That's all for now. We'll keep you posted!

How Kitty Curtis Got A Job

2010-10-09T10:36:00.004-05:00

To start off I just really have to say that the title of the post sounds like the name of a TV series or something. Much like 'How I Met Your Mother'. Haha. Oh well, I thought it was funny. Anyway on to the post.

So as you may not know, I got a job. Yep, the world has ended. See Ponyboy?! It ain't that hard to believe! -.- The reason I got a job was because a) it was Darrel's supposed 'punishment' for uh, I'm not even sure what he had 'ground' me for but it must've been important. Lol. I just don't really pay attention when he talks. And b) though I had a job while I was away and it got me some easy bucks, it is physically and economically impossible to live from that amount the rest of my life, especially with all the possible expenses I know I'll have in the future. Also, I want to have the money because I want to be able to help my friends when they need it. I want to be able to give them a hand on the thing that we have the hardest time with, money. It's not that I'm turning anyone into my charity case because that's not true, but I don't know, I just want to feel like I can help someone when they need it.

Last Sunday I was job hunting because I just couldn't procrastinate anymore. First I decided to look for a job in the thing that I liked but my options where limited. I knew by law that I wouldn't get a job in any science facility or medical industry and make use of my chemical knowledge. Apparently I need some sort of colleage level knowledge and though I had valid arguments that my knowledge was just as good as those university dudes even though I was a senior in high school, they refused. I was also underage. Fuck my life. So then I went to look at the drag races for some decent thing to do but there is as much as you can really do there. That's when I had the idea that maybe I could race for tips but thought better about it. If Darry asked what I was doing or even worse wanted to see for himself, I would sure get yelled at for not doing something 'productive'. I was left then to just walk around time looking for something. Pony had mentioned in one of his boring conversations that the movie house payed well and had decent jobs but I didn't think that my little brother would like his older sister working on the place he did. Psst. Like I actually wanted to babysit him. Insert rolls eyes. After a long wasted Sunday afternoon I came across a 'Help Wanted' sign at Dairy Queen. I thought what the hell and went to talk to the dude that manages everything there. He asked if I had any expirence working before and I told that I had been a waitress just a few months before but that it wasn't something I wanted to spend my life at. He nodded and then asked if I knew how to handle the whole serving ice-cream thingy. Of course I said that I understood the chemical composition of frozen dessert made from dairy products, such as milk and cream, and often combined with fruits or other ingredients and flavours. The mixture of ice cream is then stirred slowly while cooling to prevent large ice crystals from forming; the result is a smoothly textured ice cream. Making ice cream with liquid nitrogen has advantages over conventional freezing. Also, using liquir nitrogren it creates a rapidly freezing the crystal grains giving the ice cream a creamier texture, and allowing one to get the same texture by using less milkfat. Such ice crystals will grow very quickly via the processes of recrystallization thus obviating the original benefits unless steps are taken to inhibit ice crystal growth... He meant if I could manage the physical process. I felt like an idiot.

So anyway that's how I got my job at Dairy Queen. I think I was jumping of joy when I got home cause the retards asked me what the hell was going on. Soda asked me to deny him the possibility that I just had sexual intercourse. Petite boy, just because you can't keep it in your pants doesn't mean the rest of the world can't either. I rolled my eyes and told then that my long phase of ecomical inactivity I finally had a job... at an ice cream parlor! But no, that does not mean free ice cream, Dallas. So I started Monday afternoon and it was quite an expirence. I suffered a week of listening to bratty socs kids whine to their mothers about how they wanted the big cone and how they could eat it all. -.- I swear I almost yelled to the stupid kid: "Eat it all, for christ sake! If you die of a stomach disease it'll be your own fucking fault but stop talking!" ... That gives me second thoughts about having kids. *shivers* Of course now Two-Bitch spends his whole day here making me company. I swear, Gary (the dude I work for), wanted to offer him a job just for the hell that he do something productive since he basically now lives here. "Curtis, is that order finished?" "Um, I told you Gary that it takes time. Especially since you didn't have the decency of telling me a day in advance." "Well, you'll be working overtime with Half-Wit over there." Two-Bit looked pissed. "Hey! It's Two-Bit!" "Nah, same difference." :D That was my favourite part of my whole week.

So that's that folks. I'll keep you posted on my life as an auto-sufficient, economically sustainable, young lady of America. But before there are a few things I want to point out. First, I'm so glad I have my husband back home. I love R.B. to dead. I'll help you Blair in whatever you need. Second, Soda you're still petite. Katie, please post or I'll make blonde jokes. Also, Dallas I told you, Pony likes the closet ;). Which reminds me... PONYBOY MICHELLE CURTIS FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, MY NAME DOESN'T HAVE A FUCKING HYPHEN!!! It's KitKat, not Kit-Kat! Geez... Okay, I think that's all. :D

It's Raining On Party Night

2010-09-19T19:30:00.005-05:00

Well, it seems as though we had all had our fair portion of depressive, sad, and angry days this past few weeks. I'm not up for any of it no more. So, what is the best way to tell depression 'bye bye birdie'? Partay! At the Curtis'.

It always seems that when times are blue, a simple hang out at my house always brightens the day or night, for that matter.

It was Saturday night. I called the gang over because I came up with it at the last minute. You guys should know that I love you all oh so much. Enough to have to put with dear Miss Mathews complains about how she already had plans for the night and how I could have made up my pretty little mind hours before so she could be there instead. Answer? "Well cancel whatever it is your plans are and shut your mouth. It's not like you're that busy in the social department. Meet you at nine." I'm so nice. :D By nine, the music was as high as it could get and the atmosphere was party like. Well, we did everything we do at a Curtis Party. Two-Bit came in with god knows how many cases of beer. He said that Buck had send them over because he wanted Kitty to have a hell of a good party. Aw. Ain't that sweet? Creepy, but sweet.

We danced, and drank, and danced, and drank some more. I made the oh so horrible mistake of giving Blair a rootbeer just for fun. I MISS PREGGO BLAIR, ALRIGHT! She got pissed off and chased me around the neighbourhood like a 16389248326 times. Of course, she tripped and rolled over like a pinata. Well, she didn't exactly do that. That was just me wishing she would. But she did hurt me. :( I'm telling you, being used as a human pinata ain't that fun, specially if you're all skin and bone. When is fatass when you need him? So anyway, after being used as the object of the amusement of my friends, I'll get back at you bitch, we went inside and Two-Bit had the wonderful idea of playing beer pong. Brookie was innocent enough to actually think Tibbs had invented it. She was so excited that he actually had some sort of creative drop on his blood. It was almost heartbreaking when Darry had to be the party popper and tell her that that game was long invented. -.- Blonde chicky makes me smile. That's your new nickname by the way, Brooke. So the first round was Carson against Steve. Any bets towards to won? I'm sorry Stevie, but your sister beat your ass at your own game. Lol. Then it was Blair against Elena. That was interesting to watch. Both girls where playing to drink. I'm pretty sure it was E who won, but I'm not sure since at Blair's turn, she slipped and knocked the table and well, it was raining on party night. Then it was Dally against Soda and poor Petite boy will forever be mocked as a pussy. I love you Dally. *virtual high five*. And then it was me against my fiance. The word doesn't get old. I love saying it. Fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance, fiance... ok, stopping now. Two-Bitch claims he won but I beg to differ. Of course I'm not sure since it was dark and I was too drunk.

But our little beer pong didn't last long. For some extrange reason, Sodapop found a way to break the table. How he did it? I have no clue. Maybe it was his petiteness working or something. Karma bless us all. We went back inside and Jamie suggested we play spin the bottle, or well, dare or dare. Dimitrian went first and he had to dance with a mop or a broom... naked. I. Am. Never. In. My. Life. Taking. Him. Seriously. Again. Well, it was half naked, but I am forever traumatized. It wasn't a pretty sight but I laughed like hell, especially since he danced to "I like to move it, move it." Then it was Carson's turn. Insert evil smile here. She had to lick someone's (and by someone it meant Darry)... are you ready for it? Area. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my. I loved it. Then it was Ponyboy's turn and he had to drink his weight in beer. Darry shot him a look that killed because well, we all know what happened the last time he was drunk. But he didn't listen, as always, and did it anyway. Poor thing was too drunk he passed out then and there, so we just kind of stumbled him somewhere where he wouldn't disturb us. :P I don't rememeber what I did or what anyone else did. I just remember having someone's leg on my chest that wasn't mine. Ewwww. Of course, the next day, it was not only a hangover but Darry had been the only one sober enough to remember what happened and I got yelled at for stupid Pony's drunken dispute. Fuck you, little brother. But anyway, can any of you creeps remember what else we did? Cause I suffer from short-term memory loss.

They Sleeps With The Tigers.

2010-09-07T21:06:00.007-05:00

Hey! Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh-Oh, Oh Oh Oh-Oh, Oh Oh Oh-Oh. Hey! Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh-Oh, Oh Oh Oh-Oh, Oh Oh Oh-Oh. Hey! Four years you think for sure that's all you've got to endure. But guess what? Just when you thought it was over, back to where you just came from. Aw, that's just great. One thing is always clear... High School Never Ends.

So... what does that mean? September 6th. Oh joy, it's the first day of school! It's time go back to the slutty suck-up bitches and stupid jerks, oh and the teachers, the stupid whory assholes teachers that just love greasers oh so much. -.- But school stops being dull when Dawn Cade and Kit Curtis walk it's halls. Or as we are already known: KC/DC.

Sunday night was party night. Surprised? I really hope not. It was our annual 'End-Of-Summer-Let's-Go-Back-To-Being-Bitches' Party. :D We stayed up all night. And I mean ALL night. Dawn called Jay Jay telling him she was staying over at my place and I did the same to Darry telling him I was over at Dawn's. We just went home to change and no one noticed we where cleary in the 'dangerous mode'. We drove to school at recklessly stupid high velocities and I think we almost, almost, hit the flag pole. It was epic. We're the leaders now, we don't do 'walking'. I half parked/half occupied three spaces and got out of the truck coolly. I think I'm gonna ask Tim or Bucky to lend me one of their motorcycles. I bet they're way cooler but I don't know how to ride those but I'm sure as hell don't want to freaking kill myself trying. We wore royal blue leather jackets, skinny jeans, black boots, white blouses, and the one and only, motorcycle shades. Oh yeah. Ladies, start your engines. As soon as we stepped inside the building you know there was trouble. Dawn snapped her fingers at every little kid we encountered in the hall, repeating endlessly: "Seniors coming through." I loved that. Every freshman was like completely frightened and moved so quickly it was funny to see them fear us. It was our year and we where unstoppable. Of course, no one can ever top the masters, BM/CR are to be forever bowed at but we shoot for the stars.

Someone should really tell administration that placing Dawn and me in the same classes all day is not a good thing... well, for the teachers anyway. Double trouble. The moment the bell rang, Dawn and I where ready, but not necessarily for school work. With the help of the all mighty school janitor, I climbed up into the ventilation and made my way through the sticky, small, with lack of oxygen, tubes. Dawn had the easy task. She waited patiently for a group of bitchy socs girls to go to their usual 'hair and make-up' session during first period. Once they where inside the bathroom, she locked the door... from the outside. ;) Of course she kept bugging me over our little mission impossible earplug/walkie talkies about hurrying up. Dawn, next time you got up the freaking ceiling. Anyway, when I found the power cords I felt like a secret agent deactivating a bomb. I had to cut the right wire, otherwise... yeah something not pretty would happen. So I took out my blade and cut the red one. The moment it snapped shut, you could hear the loud screams of girls coming from the bathroom. Hehehe. Then, I made my way back to meet Dawn at the ventilation to pour down something like a greenish slime. Eww. I wouldn't want that on my hair either.

During second and third period, we sneaked into the boy's locker rooms. God bless me, it smelled disgustingly disgusting in there. Socs perfume and sweat... Ugh. One of the small disadvantages of this job. But anyway, we got there when no one was in and we messed with the shower heads. Freezing, cold, cool, warm, hot, FIRE! Lol. And there was no way to fix it. I would've loved to see the look on their face. Well, we kind of did, cause somehow Dawn was able to place a hidden camera on the shower and had a guy that works in the movie room record it and edit it. It'll go to America's Funniest Home Videos. Our next target was the... drum roll please... teacher's lounge. :O Yep. It was actually pretty easy to get something done. We switched the coffee with something, um, brownish and messed the alphabetical order of a highly important organized files. Whoops. That alone would've been pathetic so, Dawn and I got a hold of the online calendar and plan. Let's just say we have a daily 'beer blast and teachers can go fuck themselves' for the next 300 days before summer. I'm so nice. I know. Dawn and I got some wheelchairs from the nurse's office and we raced each other through the halls like lunatics. That was, until we stummbled upon Ms. FrishaCanLickMyAss and ran away. We had a 'Greaser-only' beer blast in the basement. It was epic because Two-Bit helped by bringing some cases and Buck had set the music and even more beer earlier that day. I love my friends. :D It was getting hot and awesome but yeah, that only lasted for a couple of hours. The principal caught us. Oh my, what are we to do? The principal is gonna ground us. How am I to live with that?

He called Darry and well, just Darry cause Dawn had no parental or shit contacts on her file. Luckyass. Darrel arrived fifteen minutes later kinda pissed off. Oh my, what has the world come to? "Miss Curtis and Miss Cade here have trashed the bathroom, messed with the boy's locker room's shower head, run through the hallways and promoto underage alcoholic parties in the basement!" The dude said. "It was actually a wheelchair race." I added ignoring glares from both males. "And the coffee in the teacher's lounge." Dawn wanted to add something too. She didn't have to add that part. -.- We did all that because, well, we weren't exaclty sober since the begging but, oh well. So now, I'm not only 'grounded' for the rest of my existance, I also have to come to school to some shit or whatever it is we spend half an hour discussing. As if. That really really touch me. Because of this punishment, I will never behave like a juvenile delinquent ever again. It made me realize there is so much more to life. I'll be a better citizen! Okay... I'm gonna stop being sarcastic now. Oh well, at least I had fun. Which is far more than I can say for the old Darry.

P.S: Just wanted to add a little something... Soda, you're petite. Deal with it. +D

Kitty, Jell-O, Two-Bit, And Dimitri In The Prolonged Camping Trip

2010-08-30T21:35:00.006-05:00

What happens when you add Dimitri, Two-Bit, Jell-O, me, two tents, plenty of beer, food, a lake, a forest, and a bear? Answer: A fucking insane camping trip! Dimitri had been planning this for a very long time and he told us about his plan a few days ago. Taking all things consider, I thought it was a great idea. A chance to distract ourselves from the hardship we had all dealt with in the past weeks. The night before the trip, I talked to Darry about it. He was completely fine with it. He said that it was probably safer out there than here with poptart here on the loose. Soda seemed to agree too. He trusted Dimitri and Jelly. I rolled my eyes, they would eventually have to learn how to trust Two-Bit too. I mean, I'm spending the rest of my life with him. But anyway, I packed up the essentials and had planned on sleeping early that night. Psst. As if. I ended up going to bed at two in the morning talking to Dawnie Poo. Not a good idea. Mr. Ryder knocked on my bedroom door at five in the freaking morning. First thought? I really need to lock that front door. Second thought? Go to hell. After 126324762874632846 unsuccessful attempts at waking me up, Demi said that he would get naked and show me his petiteness if I didn't wake up. That, of course, got me up and running in no time. I didn't want to risk my healthy sight to be damaged by that. Hehe. I got dressed in the first clothes I laid my hands on. I kissed Darry, Soda, Pony, and Katie goodbye and made my way to the truck. We went to Two-Bit's to pick him up. I was the one that went in and woke him up. He had no hell of an idea what the fuck was I doing at his house so freaking early. Not that he wasn't glad to see me but that he would appreciate it if I choose more humanly hours. I couldn't agree more but it wasn't my brilliant idea. But anyhow, I managed to wake him up by kissing him all over his neck and chest. He liked that. ;) When he asked where we where going, it dawned on me that I hadn't told him about the trip. Whoops. Hehe. My mistake. I made it quick and short. "Pack some clothes, get what you need, essentials, food, beer, etc, and meet us outside in ten." Well, it sure as hell didn't took him ten minutes to get ready. How long could he possibly take to throw in a pair of clothes, food, beer, etc into a bag? But oh well, at five in the morning everyone is slow.

Demi practically barked at Two-Bit but I innocently bitch slapped him. Only I can bark at my, should I say the word?, FIANCÉ! +D Eventually, Tibbs got in the car and so we drove off to that place Dimitrian wanted to take us. I fell asleep on Two-Bit's shoulder most of the ride so I couldn't tell for sure if we where just outside Tulsa or something. When we got there, we parked the car just on the side of our selected place. The boys set the tents because Jell-O and I where too damn sleepy to do it ourselves. Besides, we might brake a nail or something. ;) They set up the fire place and we fixed the food and supplies inside the tent. Now I know why Two-Bitch took so freaking long to pack. He brought practically a year's supplies in food and beer. Yay. After that, we set the food safely on the tent and went on to fish. How the hell was I going to fish? I had no idea but I did it. When we came back, sigh, guess what? Yep. You have guessed well. Fucking Winnie the Pooh came by and ate our food. "Who was the asshole that left the unprotected?" Jell-O half asked, half almost shouted. Dimitri cleared his throat. "Yeah, that would've been me." Epic fail. Jells smiled sympathetically but Two-Bit and I demanded we hung him by his thumps at the nearest mountain and leave him there to find his way home. We weren't allowed to do that so instead we went to swim at the lake. Two-Bit managed to hang a rope from a tree branch and we used it as a swing. When it was my turn, I swing back and forth a million times, trying to get enough force and speed. The rope gave in and there went Kitty along with rope into the water. Another fail. I was okay. I only almost hit my head and drowned thanks to the stupid rope but other than that, nothing out of normal.

After that we went back to the tents. We had no music but we decided to party anyway. Winnie the Pooh didn't steal our beers, which was a good thing, otherwise that bear would not have lived to steal other's food. We set the fire and sat around the campfire to roast whatever we could find that was roatable. That didn't leave out much more than drinks. Dimitri thought it would be a good idea to share scary stories. He was surprisingly good at it. Great facial expressions. He had me cuddling scared out of my mind next to Two-Bit who was protectively wrapping his arm around me, ready to beat Demi if he exagerrated too much. Then it was my turn and my story was about Soda's penis. That was enough to scare the four of us out of our sockets. Hehe. Five stories and almost fifteen beers later, we decided we lay low for the forest. Trees can stand just a certain amount of awesomeness, ya know. We where joking about who would sleep with who. I suggested that boys slept in one tent and girls in other. They all surprisingly agreed and insisted on my joke. I realize now, they where just too drunk. While Jell-O and I where on our tent, we could hear Two-Bit and Dimitri making -gulp- noises. I knew Dimitri was gay. He probably made Two-Bit gay too. I'm gonna kill him. Jells and I did our best to go to sleep, beggint to some omnipresent force to make Two-Bit straight again. The next morning Jelly and I woke up early and went into the boy's tent to take pictures. Let's just say that for the mental health of the people of the world, I'm only showing them to the gang. I don't want to be sued for promoting a disturbance to the world's peace. Dimitri was over Two-Bit and Two-Bit had his legs wrapped around Dimitri's. God bless us all. After we woke them up, they went to take a 'shower' or more especifically, just chill naked at the lake. Jelly and I stole their clothes and hide them at a bear's cave. Just we didn't know it was a bear's cave at the moment. The boys didn't seem to mind about wondering around naked in the forest but that came to an end when they stumbled upon a family of four that was also camping nearby. Dimitri traumatized the little boy for life. The woman started chasing them all over the forest. It was pretty damn funny. But we eventually felt bad for them so we went on the hunt down after their clothes. We finally made it to the bear's cave and the boys got dressed, that was until we heard a high groaned and turned around frightened in a movie-type kind of way. It took a 'boo' for us to run the hell out of there. Fucking BooBoo is a pussy. After that we had to go gathering/hunting for our own food. Dimitri was going on and on about how to know which fruits where poisonous and which weren't. I had a better more efficte way. Ask someone to taste it. If he dies, it's poisonous, if he doesn't, then it's not. As simple as that. Anyway, that night we had another drunk campfire. This time, Jelly slept with Dimitri in one tent and I slept with Two-Bit in another. We could hear the lovebirds from The Boring Tent fucking each other. I bet Two-Bit wanted to do the same but I didn't. I don't know. It's just. I mean, it's important to me and sort of a big deal. Special too. And though it is with someone I genuinely love, I didn't think it was the place or time. We weren't sober enough and we where laying on rocks. Not romantic at all. Yeah, yeah, old school and such. Whatever.

I can't remember much of what happened next cause, well, we drank the remainding beer like there was no tomorrow. We where also afraid BooBoo might want to steal it. To avoid the hangover we just kept on drinking. It was fun! But when we ran out, it really wasn't. D: Note: Getting drunk in the forest is so much more fun. You can see people doing more creatively stupid things. So that's how our little double date went. I hope it was of your amusement. Oh and Elena wanted to be on my post so here it is. Look Elena, you're on my post! Lol.

You're A Spineless, Pale Pathetic Lot, And You Haven't Got A Clue. Somehow I'll Make A Man Out Of You

2010-08-19T16:48:00.005-05:00

I'm going to murder Darrel Curtis. No. I'm gonna make him suffer, then kill him, then bring him back to life and make him suffer some more.

As you people know or may not know, for that matter, I'm not exactly the healthiest person on Earth right now and that's due to a lot of reasons. I'm not going to bore with what's behind it but I'm going to tell you what happened because of it.

Today, dear Darrel Curtis had a day off and because he doesn't have a social life of any sort, he came to bother me. I was sleeping soundly in the comfort of my own bed when all of the sudden I was shaked awake rather violently. I snapped my eyes open out of fright at the unexpected motion and looked up to see my older brother sitting next to me with his arms over my shoulders. "Raise and shine, sleeping beauty." He said. I blinked twice and turned to look at the alarm clock. I groaned as I placed the sheets over my head and hide myself from him. "It's fucking five in the morning. Are you crazy?" I asked half annoyed, half asleep. He rolled his eyes and pulled the sheets of me. "I'm serious, Kit. Get up and go get dressed and put on some shoes. We're going for a jog." He said. At the sound of 'get up' and 'going for a jog' on the same sentence, I shivered. It was five in the morning and Darry wanted to go for a run. He patted my knee and got up to leave my room. Once he was done I placed my pillow over my head and groaned deeply. Fuck this shit.

I put on the first shirt I could find, some shorts that I had spend countless hours trying to get them to shrink because they don't fit anymore, and my black converse. I was so fucking asleep I was surprised I had managed to get dressed properly. I didn't do anything else to myself. It was too early for me to give a shit and my hair is too short for a ponytail. So I just walked like that to the kitchen to rest my head on the table if given the chance. In the kitchen Darry was making some sort of weird creepy beverage. He placed milk, eggs, protein, and some more shit that looked disgusting at even the slight glance. He turned to look at me. "Hey, are ya hungry?" I gulped. "No. I'm good." I sighed. "Okay, I'm up can I go back to sleep now?" I was really so tired. It was a God forsaken hour, for crying out loud. Darry sighed heavily and turned to me. He got stragely closer and I leaned back, but he grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me closer. "Do you know why I'm doing this, Kit?" He asked holding my hand towards me. I frowned slightly. "To get me to a 'who can hold their arms in the air the longest' contest?" I admit it was a lame joke but I wasn't thinking. I was functuning on automatic pilot and Darry was using really big words for the time it was. He sighed. "Look at you, Kitty. See this?" He held my wrist up high again. "I'm afraid to break it if I squish it any tighter." He said. I frowned. What the fucking hell was he talking about? "And don't think I haven't noticed you haven't spend your afternoon pucking your guts off in the bathroom." Now I was getting angry. I let go of his grip in a quick violent manner and took a step back. "Your point being?" I said in a cold tone. He stared at me intently. "Kitty, you have to take better care of yourself. I mean, look at you." He pointed at me. I looked at myself from up to down. I didn't see anything wrong. Just my usual pretty self. "I doubt your clothes even fit anymore and you don't want to eat anything. And I... am just worried." I rolled my eyes. I wanted to prove just how completely wrong he was. I walked over to the kitchen counter and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. Against my better judgement I poured my glass with that disgusting mix and drank it without any hesitation. I would've been able to swallow it, if it hadn't been so damn bad. I hurried to the sink and spat the whole beverage. God, it tasted awful.

I could hear the sound of Darry tapping his foot onto the floor. "I would've drank it if it hadn't tasted so damn bad." I said. He raised an eyebrow. I groaned. "What do you want, Darry? To tell you I'm sick. I'm not sick. Get over it." I said. Darry rolled his eyes at my apparent lack of maturity and walked over to me. "All I want is to get you healthy and that means getting you back into shape." He said eyeing me up and down. "But Soda says it doesn't matter. All that is important is what's on the inside." I said on my defense. I knew I had to get into shape sooner or later but I had planned on doing it at my own pace at my own time. Without Superman behind my back. "Yeah well, Soda doesn't weight 95 pounds, now does he?" I nodded in agreement at the fact. Sorry Soda. If it's any consolation, Dally weights more. "Either way, let's go. We're already behind schedule." He said. Without waiting for me to say anything, he grabbed me by my hand gently and lead our way to the street. Behind schedule? This can't possibly be good.

And I was right. For the next hour and a half we jogged around our side of town. Well, Darry jogged, I kind of dragged my body to try to keep up. All that time I was thinking possible ways to kill him. Kill him and make it look like an accident. Then he made me do pull ups on a swings' bar until I literally dropped dead into the grass. -.- "Hurry up, Kitten. We are on time here." I groaned and stood up. He took us to the field and gave me a rope and ORDERED me to see how many I could do in a minute. Maybe that was because I had long ago not done any of this stuff and I wasn't in the best of condition. After the watch beep and he sighed disapointingly, I considered hitting him with the damn rope. It was nine in the morning and he didn't seem to give off any signs of a break. I was seriously thinking I would die in the attempt but Darry didn't let me die. Fuck him. By the time we where done, I was covered in sweat, laying on the field's grass, gasping for air and mercy. I couldn't feel my legs, arms, or any other body part. I couldn't even think. "Okay, we're done for the day, Kitty. Let's go home." He said as if though I wasn't half dying on the floor. "Can you carry me?" I asked with slight hope in my tone. "Nope. A jog home will do you good." WHO WANTS TO HELP ME MURDER MR. DARREL SHAYNNE CURTIS JR.????!!!!

I groaned and walked home with him. He opened the door and we found Pony, Soda, and Katie playing poker on the table. All comfortable and lazy with cokes and perfectly nice pillows. I envied them. "Hey guys! Weere were you?" He asked innocently. "We just went for a jog." Darry said casually. Just a freaking jog?! -.- Soda turned to look at me and chuckled. "Woah, Kit. You look great." He grinned mockingly. Katie and Pony where trying not to laugh but I ignored them. I shot Sodapop a dead glare. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Or. I'll. Beat. You." I said between gasps. That caused Katie and Pony to burst into laughter. I rolled my eyes. "I'd like to see you try." The fatty I have as a brother said. I groaned. I walked towards them and crashed on the couch. "Maybe. Later." Darry walked back to the living room and as if the situation wasn't worst, he added. "We're doing the same tomorrow Kit, it's a daily plan. So get ready." The others laughed and I just shut my eyes and wished someone would kill me.

Someone, please kidnap me and save me from Superman. Robbin (or whoever the name of the sidekick is) doesn't want to save the freaking day.

Where Did All The Flowers Go?

2010-08-10T21:44:00.004-05:00

I finally broke. I've been living like a crystal ball, and Sunday night, it took one more hit for it to brake into tiny pieces. The pieces of my heart. So Bob got to me. I swear, I'm never been in this kind of pain. Not even when my parents died. Now I know what Johnny and Jell-O really went through. If you haven't expirenced it, then you have no hell of an idea how it feels. It's nothing that I can describe. No physical pain can compare to it. Actually, I wouldn't mind going through physical pain if it can be exchange for what I felt and still feel. Even now that it's over, I don't think I can ever go back to being the same person. When the crystal ball broke, the tiny pieces where spread across the ground. I could hurt myself trying to get them all back together but in the end, I know that no matter how much I try, their will always be pieces missing. It would not be the same. It's slowly healing, but it did that much damage. I'm not thinking about revenge right now. Maybe later, but I could never do what Bob did. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. However, no matter what, I promise myself I will not let him touch anyone else. I don't want you guys to go through this. Not over my dead body. It's a horrible feeling.

After it was all over, I went straight to the only place where I knew I could forget about it all. I walked silently to Buck's place and sat down at the counter. I laid my head over the table and tried my best to calm the silent sobs and tears that where streaming continiously off my eyes. I didn't want to go through this. I wanted it to end. After possibly half an hour of cries and pain, I called Dally. He's now my official drinking buddy. He made me feel better the last time I was down, so I figured he could do it again. He took around ten minutes to get there, but he got there, that was all that mattered to me. He found me in cries. At that moment, I didn't care that you don't cry in front of Dallas Winston, or that I don't cry at all, I was feeling like shit and I had total right to let it show. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked. I didn't turn to look at him. I had my face buried within my arms. "Yeah, I'm just crying because it's fun." I said between sobs. Dallas placed his hand on my shoulder and patted it. "Is there anything I can do to, uh, help?" He said. I turned to look at him. "Probably, but you won't be able to do it so just order something strong and all that." I said. He nodded and I think he ordered vodka or something. I didn't really payed attention. He looked at me as I drank the whole thing in a sip. "Thought you didn't drink on an empty stomach anymore." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, special occation." I said and took his glass too. He didn't seem to mind and even if he did, I didn't care. "Kit, what's hanging?" He said. Before I answered him, I motioned the bartender to get another round. After drinking the third glass, I turned to pay attention to him. "You want to kill Bob?" I said and I meant it. He looked slightly confused but nodded. "Yeah, why?" I sniffed quietly but controlled my sobs. "Let's just say you now have another reason to hate him." He kept staring at him as I continued to drown myself with whatever was in my cup. "Fuck this." I murmured. "Can I have a decent beer?" I asked/commanded the bartender. I turned to look at Dallas who waited for an answer. "If you expect me to tell you the tale you can forget it. Just kill him." He sighed and asked for something to drink too. We where silent for a few minutes. It was getting awkward but I was too depressed to do anything about it.

"Can I help you?" I asked out of the blue. Dally frowned and put his drink on the counter. "Nah." I scoffed. "Why the hell not?" He rolled his eyes. "Because killing the bastard would mean using guns and blades." "So?" I honestly didn't see the problem with that. I couldn't think of that being any worst that this. "I don't want you getting killed too, Kit." I sighed and took the guy sitting next to me's drink. Whatever he was drinking tasted like shit. What a pussy. "He hurt me. I want to hurt him back." I said. I was starting to get dizzy but I didn't care. "No. I don't want to be the one to tell your brothers." I rolled my eyes. As if I hadn't heard that before. "Whatever."

After three more beers and I think four rounds of shots, I still couldn't feel better. It was annoying me. I groaned desperately. "Oh, is there something there to knock me out cold?" It was a rhetorical question, but I half-expected an answer. Dallas nodded and grinned. "Yeah. Roofies." I turned to look at him with interest. "I want that." I said without thinking. I had no idea what the hell that was but it sounded like it could do the job. "No." I swear I almost hit him with my bottle. "Why the fuck not?!" I was starting to get angry at him or annoyed. Whatever feeling implicates wanting to beat his ass. "Because it's a drug." He said taking his final drink of his shot. Honestly, I was surprised. In what is left of my innocence, I actually thought Roofies was an alcoholic beverage, not a drug. I thought about it for a moment. Getting drunk off my ass didn't seem to get rid of the pain, and I know I'm against drugs, but if it could get the job done, what the hell. I stood up and started asking around the Roofie. Someone in this bar HAD to have drugs with them. That's what I really hope. Finally, after making a fool of myself to God knows how many guys, I got it. I walked back to where Dallas was with a trimphuant stupid smile on my face. I didn't hesitate to put the round pill on my glass and without stopping to think about it, I drank it all in a sip. Don't dare blame Dallas for it, because a) I had gotten him drunk enough for him to not do anything and b) I would have ignored him anyway.

It took a few minutes for the drug to kick in, but when it did, I got really dizzy and fell of my chair. For all of you who don't know, Roofies can cause temporary ammenisa and complete knock out. I got the ammenisa part. Apparently God doesn't love me enough to knock me out cold, but I guess temporary memory loss was ok too. Dally helped me up as I started laughing stupidly. I couldn't remember who I was, where I was, or what the hell had happened earlier. It all seemed like a blurry dream. So I thought I had just woked up, given the scenery at where I was, it didn't surprise me. "Woah. Are you ok?" I turned to look at him, pulling him away from me. "And who the hell are you?" He grinned. "I'm Dallas Winston." Again with the stupid laugh. "Oh, you mean Dallas as in Texas!" He chuckled mockingly. "No, Dallas as in your boyfriend." I smiled. "Oh, is that so? Wait, and who am I?" I was really confused and dizzy and wanted to puke my guts out, but I fought the feeling. "You're KitKat." That was probably the most shocking realization of the moment. "KitKat? Do I have a pet name? Something less chocolately?" Dallas chuckled again. Glad to know I was your personal joker, buddy. -.- "Kit." Now that made me feel better. He took my hand and we walked out. He took me to his apartment and sat me down on the couch. "Can I get you anything?" "Yeah, some aspirins and something to drink." No surprise he got me beer or something and the aspirins. Now, it's really REALLY bad to mix drugs with alcohol. Just saying. 'Cause I sure as hell didn't know that then.

From what I can remember, we didn't do anything. I mean, he tried to, but at the end he stopped and told me he wasn't my boyfriend. I don't know about you but that's a really big step for Dally. I congratulate you buddy. I know he's not that maybe he doesn't dig feelings, but he digs loyalty. Thanks buddy, I appreciate it. Anywho, he took me to his bed where the best part of the drug kicked in. I was knocked out cold in no time. When I woke up the next day, I felt like shit. Horrible shit, but better than last night. After I woke up Dally, he walked me home. I swear Darry looked scared out of his senses when he saw me. I was/am completely out of shape. Ugh. He hugged me though, wanting to make sure I was fine. I said I was better, which is not a lie. It's slowly slowly, really damn slowly healing. I guess I'll get better physically in no time, but mentally or emotionally, it will take time, especially since I came to actually believe what Bob said. That I do now or not, I don't know. I guess I still do. After the hug, I was instructed/ ordered to go straight to my room to lie down. I didn't argue. It may take time, but I'll get better, especially when I got all you awesome people to help me. Thanks guys. I love you all.

The Only Thing Cuter Than A Butterfly Tattoo

2010-08-02T11:26:00.004-05:00

Heywood C. Broun once said: "I might resume the habit of going to church if the preacher would be honest enough to stand up some morning and say, 'Perhaps next Sunday, but not today,' and then sit down." Which has everything and nothing to do with my post. I just found that really really hilarious, dunno why, AND it had the word 'Sunday' in it. Hahahahahahaha. Okay... stopping now...

So yesterday I was going over my 'Things To Do Before I'm Old As Darry' list, which I will post about later, and decided that this was a fine Sunday to do number 49. Get a belly button ring. A belly button ring people! Oh yeah! I had gone with Dawn on Saturday to the same place where Brookie got hers and just as I was about to be passed into the room where the shit happens, I was asked for my ID or in any case, my parent or guardian note. -.- "I didn't bring my fake ID today but I can come later with it." I said but the stupid bitch they have as a receptionist didn't find my joke funny. No one ever finds my jokes as funny as I do. Sigh. So, I was given the permision slip and had to come back when it was sighed. I asked if they could do me the favour of stapeling it around my wrist. I mean really, if they where already treatnig me like a fucking five year-old, they might as well get the whole job done. She didn't find it that amusing either. Some people have no sense of humor.

So broken hearted and left with no hope of getting my belly button pierced now, we walked towards my house. It's sad, I know. The whole way home I had to think about how was I going to convince Darry to sign my paper. I swear I came up with around twenty different ways, all involving me on my knees and begging him to sign it, or I would die. Yes, they can be twenty different ways to do that. It's not as easy as I make it look. I bet you have all come up with Darry's answer. He said... drum roll please, *drum roll* yes! Ha! As if. No, truth be told, he said no. But as always, that has never stopped me before. When I was done with my lame begging, Dawn and I walked into my room to figure out what how to get my way. She was biting her lip and making a funny face. "What's got into you?" I asked faking indignacy. "I'm sorry." She said. I cocked an eyebrow, Two-Bit's style. "Yeah, you better." We sat down on my bed making The Thinker pose trying to find out plan B. After a few seconds of day-dreaming, Dawn stood up. "I got an idea. But you gotta leave the room and wait for me to call you up. Oh and, send Ponyboy in." She said. I looked at her weird. "Okay..." I said and went to living room. I sat next to Pony, who was watching TV. "Dawn says to go to my room cause she wants to talk to you or something." I said. Pony groaned. "Now?" He said, his glance never leaving the TV. I picked up the remote and changed the channel. "Hey!" "Yeah, now." I said raising the remote in the air to prevent the shortie from reaching it. "Okay. Fine!" He said. I smiled at myself pleased.

I waited around twenty minutes for either Pony or Dawn to call me or make a note that they where still there and had not fucked each other, which was on top of my list as possible things that they could be doing there. Finally, Ponyboy came out of the room, with a stupid smile on his face. I expected the worst. Major ew. "Miss Cade asks to see you." He said. Miss Cade? What the fuck. I followed Pony into my room and entered when he held the door for me. My eyes went wide. My room was filled with candles and the light dim making the whole atmosphere so movie-like. "Dawn?" I asked. Sitting in an arm chair was my friend dressed up in a tux, petting a fluffy cat, with her hair in a ponytail and greased up. "Ah, yes. Miss Curtis. Please come in." She said. I walked towards her trying very very very hard not to burst into laughter. "You have come here to request my services and help you solve your inconvinience." I swear my mouth dropped open. "Dawn, you made me wait twenty minutes for you to dress up and make a bad immitation of The Godfather." She eyed me coolly. "Such disrespect. Don't worry, I will still help you. As long as you adress me properly and bent to your knees asking for my services." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "God-mother, I have come to you for advice in my time of need. I ask for your wiseness and expirence to help me solve my problem." I was so killing her. "Sure, my child. What is your unresolved issue?" I rolled my eyes. "I need to know how to get my permit slip signed even after my older brother, Darrel, said no." I said playing with a hint of annoyance in my voice. Dawn stopped for a minute to think. "Interesting." She said. She turned to look at me. "Ask Katie Curtis. She will help you in your time of need." Oh god. Why didn't I think of that? I sighed and stood up. As I walked towards the door, Dawn cleared her throat and I turned around. "What?!" I said. "You did not thank me, my child." She said. I rolled my eyes. "Thank you, godmother." I said. "I'm so killing you." She smiled. She was so enjoying herself. I shot her a glare.

Anyway, I took her advice and skipped towards Soda's and Katie's room, where they usually are, fucking or making out, whichever the case, it is never safe to enter without knocking. "Katie?" I said as I opened the door with my eyes closed. "Kitty?" "Yeah. Can I come in? Is it safe to come in?" "Um, sure." I sighed in relief and opened my eyes. "Um, can I ask you for something?" I said. Soda stared at me with curiosity and that was making this more awkward than it should be. "Soda, do you mind?" I said. He smiled. "Very." Ugh. You people are annoying. "Okay, whatever." I turned towards Katie, taking the permision slip from my pocket. "I need you to sign this." I said handing her the paper. She frowned slightly and read the paper. Petite boy, as usual, snooped around to see what it said. "You're getting a piercing, Kit?" He asked. "No Soda, I'm getting a needle through my skin 'cause it's fun." He smiled innocently. Katie took out a pen and started to doodle all over what I guess was the signature line. "Here." She said smiling. "Thanks Katiekins!" I said and just as I was about to make a run for it, Soda stopped me. "I'm coming with you." I laughed. "Yeah, no. You aren't." "Hey, my wife signed something allowing my sister to get something through her skin. I want to make sure it's safe." I returned him the same innocent smile. "Good luck with that." I said.

"Dawn?" I knocked on my door. "I'm leaving now. With or without you." I said and my best friend hurried out the door. We both walked in silence back to the place. Mainly because I was almost jumping with joy that I will be getting my ring. After a few minutes, Dawn turned to look at me. "You know, Kit, you could have also just fake a signature and the idiots there would have never noticed." She said. I stopped jumping around and turned to look at her. "You mean you made me go through begging to my brother, to treating you like royalty, to asking Katie, for nothing???????" I said. Correction. I WAS killing Dawn Cade tonight. She smiled sweetly. "It wouldn't have been as funny." She said. "Oh, I'll show you funny." I said and started to wrestle with her. I had her arm twisted around her back and she was gasping in pain. "Okay, okay. I get it. Sorry." She said. I let go of her. "Expect my pay-back time."

Anyway, when we got to the place, we found petite boy in the waiting area. "What the?" I said. "Soda, what are you doing here?" Dawn completed for me. "Katie told me where it was. I told you Kit, I wanted to make sure it was safe." Bleh. Katie, I am so disapointed in you. -.- "Okay fine, but not a word, or else..." We sat down next to him and Dawn added. "She means it, Soda." She said winking at him. Those two where getting on my nerves. Breath in, breath out, Kitty. You're getting what you wanted. You got your way. Again. :D When we where called, the bitch lead us to a white room with one of those hospital-like chairs and motioned us to wait. I sat down on the chair, with Dawn and Soda at either side and waited, rather cheerfully, for the 'doctor' dude. "You know, I always wondered how I would look with one of those. But it is so gay." He said. Dawn bit her lip again trying not to laugh and I smiled at my brother. "No Soda, it isn't gay, but you do need a flat stomach." I said smiling. "Oh, burn." Dawn said high-fouring me. "You two are so rude." "We know." We said in unision. We waited five minutes for the dude to come into the room. He was the same one that had done it for Brookie, so he recognize me and smiled. "Hey, Kitty, right?" "Yeah." I said. He lifted my shirt up to reveal my stomach and cleaned the area around the belly button with alcohol. He took out the piercing gun and smiled when he saw my face. Yeah, I don't like needles, and I don't know what scared me the most, that it could hurt or that I could throw up. Either way, I was still doing it. "Okay, Kitty. This might hurt." He said. "Okay, don't worry. I'm fine. Totally calm. Babbling because I'm trying to get distracted." I said. He chuckled and got ready. Dawn extended her hand and I took it. I took Soda's too, just in case. Payback time for both of them. We where silent and the dude let go of the trigger.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I'm never doing this again. I think I broke Soda's and Dawn's hands and scared half the town with my scream. I didn't know it would hurt this bad and I should know, cause I took Brookie to get hers. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. I didn't even want to look.Once the dude was done and I literally couldn't scream anymore, I got a good look at my belly button ring. It's so pretty! I got this one.

So now I just completed thing to do number 49 and I am so happy at my new piercing. Yay. I know you are all jealous. :D

Ten Things I Love About You

2010-07-30T19:39:00.004-05:00

So a certain brother of mine posted ten things he loved about me so because I'm just plain awesome and I love him too, I decided to post ten things I like about him. This is also as a way to compensate because I haven't been able to figure out what to comment on his post.

LAS DIEZ COSAS QUE AMO DE SODAPOP PETITE CURTIS!
(TOP TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SODAPOP PETITE CURTIS!)

Zehn) His happy-go-lucky attitude can brighten anyone's day. Even on your worst, you're always best with him.

Nein) He has this perfectly balance level of sweetness and toughness.

Acht) He is so smart! Even if he doesn't think so. He just doesn't need books or problems to prove it. He has his own special way of thinking that makes total sense.

Sieben) Loyalty runs through his veins. He's always there when you need him and will do anything to help you.

Sechts) He's drop dead gorgeous... That sounded soooo weird coming from me but it's true! He embraces the well-known family looks.

Fünf) I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mess with him. He's a hell of a good fighter.

Vier) He understands everything and everybody. He doesn't judge you and somehow, always knows what to say to make you feel better.

Drei) He so nice to people and humble and a hopeless romantic. No wonder every girl in town wanted him.

Zwei) He's the BEST cook in the whole wide world and his cooking is always random. You never get bored around him.

Eins) He somehow managed to get me to suck up my pride and write this about him. It takes awesomeness to do that.

So here you go Soda. See? I can do nice things without expecting anything in return. I also think I should post one about Carson. Ok, Car, here comes YOUR one and only, special post from Kitty!

~~~~~

CARSON MAYBELL RANDLE

Has a lesbian sister named Stevianne Randle.

Is the awesome Randle sibling.

Is rated by the FBI's as America's Most Wanted.

Has the biggest penis you have ever seen.

May or may not be a female. Her identity is kept as secret.

For some unreasonable reason, is best friends with The Blairinator.

Is a part-time pirate and full-time ninja.

Carson Randle has the World Record for most creative swear words produced in the count of five minutes.

Was born on the month of February, or so she says.

Doesn't have to put up with the shit of being in a relationship. She makes 'independent women' look in shame.

Hangs out kindergarden gold stars when people do good things.

Has Kitty Curtis wondering why she entitled her post as 'Chandler Bing'.

Doesn't like when people use wink smiles. E.G. ;)

Major badass.

Has achieved perfect Nirvana, scratch that, Awesomeness.

And that's is pretty much all the confidential file of Carson Maybell Randle had to share.

Would You Run And Never Look Back?

2010-07-25T21:01:00.006-05:00

(Note from the author: I know it's been a long time, I apologyze. A friend of mine came up with a last minute trip and I was like what the hell, let's go. So yeah. But, to make it up to you, here is a super long post just for you, my dear readers. Enjoy! +D)

I drove and drove, no particular destination, no where to go but forward. All I wanted to do was get away, as far away as possible. The hours went by and the rain overshadowed me with its warmth. I didn't notice. Everything was intramuscular. Time didn't exist. A million things went through my mind but only one had my absolute attention. Why had I been scared? Why was I running away? Tears where streaming down my cheeks, blurring my view. I brushed them away. Tears that seemed to never come where now shadowing my senses, my feelings. Everything was cold. Everything was dark.

I turned to look at the fuel. Fifty miles to go and I was running low on gasoline. I didn't care. I will stop whenever the car did. It gave in eventually. I was pushing it too far. A car that can only go to sixty miles an hour (I had borrowed it from my old friend Talan). I stopped at an little inn just a mile from the Nebraska border. I was that far. I walked in, wet and in tears and headed to the bathroom. I was puking my guts out. I was really feeling bad. When I came out, after I had done what was humanly possible to not look like shit, because I did, I sat down at the bar and asked for some water. A lady sitting next to me asked me if I was ok. When I looked at her, though I wanted so hard to say yes or lie for that matter, I just burst into restless cries and rested my head in her shoulder. She rubbed my shoulder and hummed to me as if I was her daughter instead of a complete stranger. When I calmed down she asked again and I told her everything that had happened and how I felt like the biggest asshole in the planet. It turns out she was the owner of that little inn, and her along with her husband, the bartender, offered me to stay with them, since my car broke down and your little friend forgot to bring money with her. I was not thinking straight, alright!

The third day of my stay, I was starving but a) nothing seemed appealing and b) I had no money to buy it. It turns out, you need money to buy food. -.- So I just drank my weight in water every day, which you will find out later was not a good idea. Of course, I could have simply just asked for a loan to the owners, but I felt like they had done so much for me already that I really didn't want to bother them. Idiot. I spend most of my time in my given room, thinking. At first the more I thought about what had happened, the more painful it felt. Believe me, I felt like the only thing I ever did was dissapoint people. I had fallen in some sort of depression in which the only thing I did was sleep and cry, nothing else, and believe me, nothing else. In such state, several unpleasant thoughts, that have no particular use in being repeated, I decided to change something about myself. I took a long cold shower and once I was done, since I had my hair perfectly wet, I decided to cut it. Short. It now runs barely just above my shoulders. It sent some sort of sick relief through my veins, since it was the only thing I could cut without hurting myself. That's how mentally unstable I was. At the fifth day, Jill, the owner, just had enough of it and literally had to drag me out. She offered me a job, just to clear my head a little. It seemed like a good idea, I did need the money. But even so, the only thing that seemed edible was water. I'm going to tell you something, waitressing is NOT in my future. I already have some attitude myself, I don't need others'.

And the days went by. I was living life in some sort of zombie state. It was mortifying, specially to the people around me. I could tell my physical condition wasn't improving. I was puking almost every day and I looked pale and tired. The mortifying part was, I wasn't doing anything about it. I didn't know what to do, so I called someone who I knew would tell me the things how they are without sympathy or that shit. I called Carson. "Hello?" She said . "Carson, it's me, Kitty." "Kitty? Where the hell are you? We have been worried sick about you!" "Yeah, I know its been a while." "Just a while?! Kitty, its been a month!" A month? For real? Fuck my life. "Oh. Okay." She sighed. "Kitty, when are you coming back?" I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling hot tears forming in my eyes. "That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about." There was a long silence, but I could sense the anxiousness in her voice. I took a deep breath. "Carson, what should I do?" I asked hopeless and well, defeated. "I'm going to ask you a question. Kitty, are you ready to get married?" I opened my eyes and looked down, fighting to keep the tears back. "Well if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?" She chuckled. "You'll be an idiot anyway, but if you say you're not ready to get married, well, you're a fool too." And I snapped out of it. "Carson, thank you. Don't worry, I'll be home soon." I said and hunged up. It dawned on me. Everything. I was scared because getting married was a commitment. It was one step to growing up and when you grow up, your heart dies. I was scared because that meant that I had not only to look after myself, but after someone else too. I was responsible not only for my actions but for someone else's too. I'd have to figure out everything adults did. I couldn't just be a reckless seventeen year-old anymore. I had to take some responsibility because this time, it wasn't only about me, and that really scared the shit out of me.

I said goodbye to Jack and Jill, packed my things and just drove all the way back from where I came from. It took me more time to get to Tulsa than I had expected. Probably because I was anxious to get there, unlike when I had been anxious to get the hell out of there. It felt weird when I parked the car in front of my house, my home. I got my things out and walked to the door. The moment I opened the door and Darry, Soda, Pony, and Katie saw me, I was attacked by the beasts. Soda was the first to reach me. He grabbed me in a huge hug that literally strangled the life out of me. Darry joined in and I was gasping for oxygen. I didn't remember them being so damn strong or maybe I was just to weak to resist the placed strengh in my body. "Oh Kitty, we where worried sick."Katie said. "Where the hell where you?" Ponyboy asked from somewhere. "I..." But I couldn't continue because by this point I WAS suffocating. "Let the poor girl breath, boys." Katie said with a smile. They let go and she hugged me. I hugged her tight too. When I turned to face my family, they all looked at me in shock. "Kitty, what happened to you?" Darry asked. I had cut my hair, lost eight and half pounds (this is why you shouldn't drink more than two litters of water a day. It can be bad for you.), and I looked pale and sick. "Nothing Darry, I'm fine." I lied...again. He, of course, gave me 'the look'. "Go rest, we'll talk about this tomorrow." He said. I nodded and headed to my room. Before I could reach it, he added. "I'm glad you're home little sister. I missed you. We all did." I smiled and locked the door after me. Oh comfort of my bed. I'll never leave you again.

The next day I woke up at around noon. I took a cold shower and got dressed. Nobody was home so I decided to just make something simple for breakfast. It was a bad idea. I couldn't get myself to eat more than half an apple. -.- I had to check on that later. I grabbed the phone and called Blair. "Yo." "Hey B, it's Kit." "Kit!!! You're alive! You didn't get eaten by radioactive leprecons!" ... "Yeah, anyway. Um, do you know where is Two-Bit?" "Yeah. He's down at Buck's. Why?" I took a deep breath. "Cause I need to see him." I said and hunged up. I got inside the car and drove as fast as I could to Buck's. Though I was nervous and kind of scared to face him after what had happened, I was more anxious to see him. I parked where it looked like it was a parking spot and I raced inside to look for him. He wasn't that hard to find. He was sitting at the bar, doing nothing. "Yes!!!" I said as soon as I reached him. The entire room went dead silent, for I had yelled a little bit more loudly than I had originally planned. Two-Bit turned to look at me. Confusion, surprise, and happiness all bottled up in his eyes. "Kitty?" I took a step towards him. "Two-Bit, when times are cloudy there's no certany in what seems to be the right choice. You're torn in a battle between your head and heart. Love is a powerful thing, that can bring the best and worst out of you. And that really scares the hell out of us. But it is worth it, that's what makes it so tricky. It's magic when you share it with someone. Fireworks at night, warmth in the winter, and a smile on a bad day. But when you're young and innocent, they all tell you it ain't love what you feel, and though you know it's real, you believe them. You run away from it and fight it." There was a short silence as I took a deep breath and looked directly at his beautiful gray eyes. Completely unaware of the several eyes placed upon me, I continued. "Two-Bit, I just spend a month of my life trying to figure out what I already knew. I love you. Only you. You make so unbelievably happy. No one can make me smile like you do or get me like the way you do. You turn my world upside down and I don't mind. You make my heart beat fast and slow down at the same time. You make me so crazy and hopelessly in love with you. Two-Bit, I want to spend forever with you." I said and as the words sunk in on both of us, he smiled took out the beautiful ring from his pocket and placed it on my finger. "Kitty, all I have ever wanted to do was make you feel as happy and in love as you make me feel. Thank you for making me the grand honour of marrying me." And then we kissed and it was a long, passionate, and sencire kiss.

Oh Two-Bit, Can't You See? I'm In Misery.

2010-06-22T22:04:00.007-05:00

Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Why couldn't I fucking do that? I'm such and idiot. It was just that simple. 'Yes.' Was that really so hard to say? Was it?! Ugh. I want to hit myself. Seriously.

To all you readers that have no hell of an idea what I'm talking about and before you arose to your conclusions, here is the whole freaking story.

So I was chilling with Two-Bit on my couch watching Mickey Mouse on TV, as you obviously now know, when he started to pace around the room. I looked at him raising an eyebrow and swallowing hard because, I mean, people start to pace around when they got something to say to you and when people say 'we've got to talk' it usually doesn't mean anything good. But now that I think about it, I wouldn't have minded cause it would have been like a thousand times better than what I did. He stopped pacing and looked at me, happiness clear in his eyes. He put his hand on his pocket looking for something and when he finally found it, he took out the last thing I will have ever thought he will take. A ring! And not just any ring, an engagement ring! It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry that I had ever seen. It was a 1920s one and a half karat diamond ring with sapphires at either side.

My mouth dropped open as I stared at the ring; mainly for two things. One, how could Two-Bit afford a ring like that and two, rings like this only meant one thing. He kneeled down in front of me and held the ring towards me. I was so shocked. I could not speak. Literally. "KitKat Sarah Curtis, since the moment I met you I knew you where to become a special person in my life. We grew up together. You're one of my best friends and I never would have thought that as time went on, I would fall in love with you. I want to make you as happy as you make me and I ask for you to agree to spend forever with me. This was my grandmother's ring. My grandparents where happily married for over fifty years. It's a family heirloom and I want to share it with you. So, Kitty, would you marry me?" And what do I do? I freak out. I fucking freak out!!! I stood there, completely froze and without knowing what to do or say.

I love Two-Bit, I do; I do so much that I will never want to hurt him but as I stood there, looking at his beautiful face, a million thoughts hit me. I am seventeen years-old. I depend legally on Darry to take care of me. I haven't even applied to collage. I am wild and reckless. I...I am not ready. I have pictured this moment like a million times, with all the different ways it could be and each of them as special as the other, I even practiced saying 'yes' in front of the mirror but at that moment it just didn't seem like the right thing to do. I guess I discovered no matter how much I lied to myself, I just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I could see that Two-Bit was fearing that the most and when I didn't say anything, his happiness that had been portrayed in his face, disappeared. "Two-Bit, I love you and I love that you want to marry me but. I...I'm just not ready for this kind of...commitment." I said between studders. He sighed and stood up, putting the ring back into his pocket. "I see." I wanted to slap myself. He tried not to show it but I could see he was broken hearted. Fuck this shit. He took a deep breath and kissed my cheek. "I guess I'll be seeing you then." He said. He turned around and just as he was about to leave, I reacted. "Two-Bit, wait! I'm not saying 'no', I'm just saying that I need some time to think. I mean, I'm only seventeen years-old. I don't know all the answers. Please." I said. Tears where starting to fill my eyes and I could hear my voice breaking. He turned around and tried to smile. "Sure, Kitty. Still, I need to go." He said and with that he left.

Where am I now? On the road. I need time to think, to get things straight. I need to run...away. I don't know where I'm going or how long will I be gone. I just need to leave. I'm sorry. I really am. I've been crying myself out and I never cry. You can just imagine how broken hearted I am. Please, please don't hate me. I beg of you. I love Two-Bit with all my heart and soul. I love him more than I love myself. I want to be with him forever, but not now. I just...please I don't expect you guys to understand but I'm asking for your forgiveness and to respect my decision. I'm not like the other girls. I don't just steal his heart then rip it apart. I hate myself for this but I need to do it.

I love you, Two-Bit Mathews. I'm so sorry.

It Doesn't Matter If You Can't Skate, Just Get Up And Skate

2010-06-11T15:17:00.006-05:00

Today I was bored. Sodapop was getting ready to leave for that place he was going with Katie that I don't remember at this moment. Anyway, they where excited to be leaving and Darry took them to the airport along with tag-along Ponyboy. I wasn't in the mood to go. Mainly because I suck at the whole goodbye thing. So I just waved and smiled and hug before hand and watched as the truck drove away. It'd be a while before Darry and Pone would be home so I had the place to myself. It was cool at first. I was in my underwear singing at the top of my lungs "We Are Golden" but then my voice started to get scratchy and being half naked didn't seem as fun. So I got some clothes on and went to the fridge for a beer. Then it hit me. Who do we know uses beer as their signature? It took only a minute to run over to his place and wonder what he was doing. He never locks so I just burst in like he does all the time. "I'm home!" I called. Two-Bit walked over with Blaze in his arms trying to get him go get to drink his milk. "Hey." He said. His usual grin wasn't as cheerful as always, as a matter of fact it was nervous. I was pretty sure it was a sign to indicate he had no hell of an idea what he was doing. I couldn't help but laugh. "Blair made you babysit again?" "It isn't funny and yeah." I laughed even harder. "Actually little buddy, it is." Two-Bit tried to give the bottle to the baby but was shaking so bad he spilled it over him. Blaze started to cry. "Shit." As much as I was enjoying the site, Two-Bit did look miserable. I couldn't just let him suffer that way. "Here, let me help you." I took Rhiley in arms and calmed him down while Two-Bit went to refill the bottle. I shook Blaze gently and stroke him. I got him to stop crying. "You're really good at it." Two-Bit said handing me a bottle. "Yeah, too bad I'm not interested in it." I said. After a while, we got Blaze calm enough and he fell asleep. "Hey, want to hit the mall or something?" I asked. "What did the mall ever do to you?" He said. I hit him with a pillow. "Shut up, ape face." He grinned his now usual grin. "I'd like that but what we do about the baby." "We bring him along." "Really? But I don't know how to take care of him there." "You won't. I will. 'Cause I'm teaching you how to really roller skate."

We got ourselves some skates and went to the mall. We started to skate through the halls, well, I skated, Two-Bit more like just glided, and I held Blaze in one of those baby holders that you wrap around yourself. Yes Blair, I was careful. Geez. So anyway, I skated by the side of Two-Bit pushing him forward because he was stubborn to keep himself at the lowest speed possible. "Why exactly are we doing this?" He asked nervous, trying really hard to keep his balance. "So you won't embarrass me again." I winked. "Look, this is a tough one, you gotta watch out." I said as I pointed to the separation of hallways. I moved to the left side quickly, just before hitting the stairs. Two-Bit, on the other hand, wasn't as fast. He got trapped and skated down the stairs not able to hold himself. He moved with the speed generated from the fall and glidded through the first floor. All you could see from upstairs was a greaser knocking people and he even pushed an old lady into a fountain. Ouch. "Better go help your uncle." I told Rhiley. I took up some speed, jumped into the stair's rail, and glidded downstairs, doing a flip before landing on the floor. It is way easier with no baby, I now see that. "Two-Bit." I called looking for knocked away people to make sure I was on the right path. People where shooting me mean looks. As if it had been me the one that had pushed them aside, but whatever. I didn't care. Poor Two-Bit was screaming at the top of his lungs. Haha! Finally, he was able to stop when he knocked a pile of books and pissed off the guy on the counter.

"Two-Bit, are you ok?" I asked as I pulled the skates to the side so I could stop. The guy on the counter walked over to me. "Is he your friend?!" He asked indignant. "Yeah, sorry about that, it's his first time." I said trying to help clumsy over here, not meeting the guy's eyes until I looked up. His face lit up and he kind of smiled nervously when he saw me. "What?" I asked. "Um look, everything's ok, he didn't break anything but, I was wondering, my break starts in ten minutes, would you let me invite you a drink?" I was kind of hopping that a certain reject here would come to his senses and kick the guy. "Sorry but the guy laying here is my boyfriend." I said proudly at the word 'boyfriend'. Yay. "Oh." He said and walked away. "How rude." I murmured to myself as I helped Two-Bit. "Rude what?" "Oh, nothing. Want to give it another try?" I asked. I swear I heard Blaze chuckle but I was sure it was just the alcohol from before playing tricks with my mind. "Um, why?" He said. I shot him a look but was only teasing him, though he thought we where kidding. "Sorry, I mean, sure." I smiled. "Ok, we start with basics, I skate around, you try to catch me." Well, it turned out to be quite more different and difficult than I had originally planned.

It turned out our skating around was disturbing the public peace. Damn those cops. They made us leave the mall or be forced into the station and since I'm only seventeen and still at risk of getting split up if we cause police trouble, I had to refrain from giving a piece of my mind. Two-Bit and I went over to his place and continued to take care of Blaze because he was scared shitless to be left with him alone again. I don't think he really is. I mean sure he may not know everything, but when it comes to love and affection and all that unsaid stuff, he is a natural. Cutie. Well, it turns out Blaze now also likes Mickey Mouse. Le sigh. He even started discussing episodes with the baby as if Rhiley understood half the things he said. Lol. Still, even if he's not in his right mind, I love that apeface to dead. Obviously Rhiley Blaze. ;)

Looking For Treasure In The Things That You Threw

2010-06-08T10:10:00.007-05:00

I kidnapped Katie. I'm so bad. Muahahahaha. I had to do it, especially now since they are leaving Friday to God knows what remote corner of this freaking planet. So anyway, yesterday I slept at two in the morning talking to Two-Bit on the phone and was very tired to wake up early. Well, I'm always tired to wake up early but this time I had a perfectly valid excuse. Just because you don't have a girlfriend you want to talk to every effing minute possible Darry, doesn't mean that the rest of us don't. Apparently he didn't thought my excuse was valid. Whatever. I did what I wanted anyway. Once I was up but not fully awake, I took a long cold shower and ate a piece of bread. I wasn't really that hungry and chocolate cake in excess makes me want to puke. Katie was making waffles or something because she does agree with me. Say no to chocolate cake! Anyway, I offered to help and unlike the rest of you, she let me. And on my defense I didn't burn anything this time! Geez, you guys have so little faith in me. -.-

Once I was able to convince a certain Peeboy that he was going to eat what I made either he liked it or not, Katie and I went on for little adventure around town. First we went window shopping. I had seen an advertisement for Banana Republic and decided to check it out. It turns out there is no Banana Republic in Tulsa, not even a freaking Gap! False advertisement. Grrrr. So we had to settle with what we could find on Main Street. For all of you boys that don't know what window shopping is, it is when you try on clothes but don't buy them. We could have shoplifted a few but Katie said no and well, she took away the fun. But whatever. After that we went for a little ice cream and Randy and company where there. Of course Katie held tight of my hand as she saw Bob's friends. We just walked away. I don't think Katie wanted to fight and if I gave the first punch I wouldn't be able to stop. Self-discipline. Exhale, inhale.

So we got our ice creams and as we walked through town several perverted males wholf whistled at us, which was so disturbing. But we decided to take that into our advantage. Remember, it's me, anything can happen. We found some pieces of cardboard and we wrote 'Hugs $3.00'. Surprisingly it worked! Easy money. After like an hour or so, we gained approximately seventy-five dollars. We charged extra for pictures. Lol. I'm not on my right mind, now I realize that. Then we got hungry, so we decided Chinese! Though we did have money to pay for it, we thought, well, I thought it be more fun if we tried to get away without paying, which we didn't. That's why we spend the next two hours cooking and cleaning in the restaurant. It was fun! We met a guy called Hiroshi Chi Sang or whatever that taught us the art of making sushi, which was confusing since it was supposed to be a Chinese restaurant not Japanese. I am never in my life eating raw fish, seaweed, and rice. Ewwwwwww.

I had only one eternal purpose with this day, besides spending time with my sister-in-law, it was brightening Katie's heart. I hope it did. I had so much fun!

Won't Seventeen Forever And We Can Get Away With This Tonight

2010-06-02T11:27:00.005-05:00

I'm in love wiht the boy of my dreams!!! Yeah, I wanted to shout that out to the world. I love him. I guess you could say a little too often, a little too much, and a little more each day. Everything that makes absoluteley no sense in a logical manner, with him seems perfectly fine. He makes me feel like a greek goddess. Goddess Kittlatian of Awesomeness. It's real. I know it is. I can feel it. Every time I look at him, my world stops and my heart races and slows down at the same time. He has me wrapped around his finger. Something no one else has ever achieved. He is worth it. We are worth it. Him and me everyday.

Last night was completely and absolutely amazing. With everything that has been going on, I have hardly found time to have Two-Bit to myself. I'm not sharing him anymore bitches, he's meine! lol. Yesterday we decided to hang out. He came by around five in the afternoon and waited for me patiently as I got dressed and put my makeup on. I put on a dress. Yeah! A dress. It was knee lenght and was black with blue. I looked cute. He took me dancing. I couldn't believe it. Two-Bit Mathews took me dancing. It was cute the way he couldn't dance at all, so I had to teach him. Imagine a 6'2 greaser learning how to waltz. You guys would have laughed your heads off. After it got dark, we hanged around town, holding hands, wrapped around a comfortable silence and genuine smiles. So there we went us cuties, and as I'm writting this I'm smiling at myself. Why? A million and one reasons. But the most importantly, he makes me happy. Truly happy. More happy than a bird with a french frie. More happy than Soda growing a normal size penis. Oh my god. :D

So as we walked around town, Two-Bit had an idea. He turned towards me, placed his hands around my shoulder and whispered in my ear. "I gotta show you something." He said. I gave him a half sexy smile. "And what is that?" I asked. He grabbed my hand tight. "Follow me into the sunset!" He said with a heroic tone, kind of like when Buzz goes 'to infinity and beyond'. We ran for God knows how many miles and I started to wonder where the hell was he taking me. Finally, after twenty minutes and thirty miles later, we arrived at this place out of town with a semi big lake. He started to take his jacket off, his Mickey Mouse shirt, and shoes. He hanged from a rope attached to a tree and swing himself forward and splashed in the water. Of course I had to take a step back or I'll get soaked. "Hey fatty, leave some water to the rest of us." I said laughing. Two-Bit swimmed towards me. "Get in the water." I chuckled. "I spend like half an hour doing my hair. I'm not going into the water." I said. Two-Bit just grinned. "Baby, please get in the water." I curtsy. "I don't think so, unless of course you got something worth in returned." Two-Bit wondered for a minute. "Oh c'mon Kitty. We won't be young forever and we can get away with this tonight." I laughed and took my shoes off. I ran towards the rope, swing a little and then splashed into the water. "There. Are you happy now?" I asked as we looked at each other face to face. Oh my those eyes. Those gray beautiful eyes. I want to melt. "Always." He said. I splashed him. "You're such a corny gay guy." I said. He splashed back. "True, but you love me anyway." We continued to splash each other until we where so close to each other that we kissed. Those kisses. The unexpected ones that come at random moments, those that are feeled with sparks and make fireworks sparked all over, those are the truly special ones. The unexpected, cute, innocent, adorable, yet sexy type of way.

We swam for most of the night, until it was probably around midnight. "We better get back." I said in a whisper. "I don't want a certain someone sending the FBI after me." Two-Bit pulled the hair out of my face and we kissed one more time. "You're right. He'll skin me too. Not that it's not worth it." I splashed him with water. "C'mon, let's go." When we arrived at the house, we where still soaking wet and yes, Darry was still up talking with Katie and Sodapoppers. We both walked in silently. "Oh, there you are." He said and his smile started to fade as he saw our apperances. "What happened to you two? Kitty, where you been and why are you wet?" I grinned. "I guess if I told you we accidentically fell inside a lake you wouldn't believe me." I said. "What? You're going to get a cold for God's sake, go change." Katie, my hero, stepped in. "Hey Darry, it's not that bad. I mean, they are perfectly safe. Maybe yeah a bit wet, but nothing that won't be solved with a simple change of clothes." I kissed her in the cheek. "I love you sister." Two-Bit and I walked towards my room and as I was changing into a pajama's pants and a black tank top, I walked out to ask my brother something. "Hey Soda, you don't mind that Two-Bit borrows some of your clothes right?" I asked. "Um, yeah I would." "Ok, thanks." I walked over to Two-Bit. "He says it's ok."

So we got dry and then we cuddled together in my bed, with the door closed but not locked. Locked door and two teenagers = bad things. lol. "Why can't we stay like this forever?" I said as my head rested in his chest, feeling his every breath and every beat of his heart. His hand around my shoulder, carressing my skin, felt warm. "You want that, Kitty? Spend forever with me?" I smiled and hugged him right. Oh my. I would love to. But I didn't say that. I just smiled and kissed his hand. Then, we both fell asleep. A dream within a dream.

The Adventures Of Horseman and Petite Boy

2010-05-31T11:08:00.004-05:00

So in total honesty I have to admit that I miss hanging out with my weird siblings and taking into consideration everything that has happened, I had barely had enough time to see them. So, yesterday I kidnapped him and made them my personal slave entertainers. All except Darry, that prefers hanging out with his new girlfriend or whatever than spend time with us 'kids'. So anyway, it was a Soda, Kitty, Ponyboy day. After Darry left at God knows what forsaken hour, we had breakfast. Any guess? The usual chocolate cake. I mean really, don't you guys know how to make something else? So much chocolate makes you sick. But whatever, I ate it today for their sake, especially since Soda thought it would be funny to make it based on Kitkat chocolate to give it a touch of flavour. -.- I swear, those two eat like pigs! I had just eaten one piece and they where fighting themselves for half the cake. It's disgusting. I made them wash the dishes and clean up because I didn't feel like doing chores. Nah huh. After that we hanged out around town talking. We where debating to whether go to the movies or go to a rodeo. Pony said he didn't trust Soda with a movie because he can't sit still and I completely agree. However, Soda said he wanted to go to a rodeo but Ponyboy was afraid of the oxen so he would probably get traumatized from the expirence. While I... What did Kitty want to do that no one had the decency of asking? Kitty wanted to play football. A simple game of football.

Ponyboy had to race back to the house to get the ball while we walked towards the lot and meet him there. "So, is Ponyboy really afraid of oxen?" I asked my brother. Soda grinned. "Yeah, when he was thirteen I took him to a rodeo. It was his turn and he thought he was playing with a horse, not an ox, so he got the scare of his life." I laughed. I know I shouldn't laugh but I laughed. Brookie, your boyfriend is afraid of cows. Haha! We arrived at the lot and waited patiently for Ponyboy. I was walking in circles until someone was daring enough to tackle me while I was distracted. "Ponyboy Michael Curtis!" I said and raced him around the field. At first I was determined to catch him but then I decided it was far more productive to run for the ball and get started. Between Pony and Soda, they passed the ball to each other, thinking it would be funny to play that game where the middle one is not supposed to catch the ball and etc. They, of course forgot I was taller than them, and so I just had to stand in front of the shortie (Ponyboy) and catch it while it was being tossed to him. Of course with the impact the ball made into my hands, I lost some balance and fell on top of my younger brother. "Ha! That's karma for you little buddy." I said.

It was around five when we decided to get home and get something to eat. Katie had been kidnapped by Dawn and Jelly and will not come back but until tomorrow morning. Thanks guys for not inviting me to the sleepover. But anyway, as soon as the boys got in, they both sat on the floor and watched TV. "So who is going to make dinner?" I asked. They said something along the lines of "I'm going." only more uncomprehensible and based on mumbles. "Ok. Fine. I'll go make something." I said. Soda stood up quickly, blocking my way to the kitchen. "I'll make dinner. You go sit down." He said. "Fair enough." I smiled pleasingly. Yes, I always take my faults to my advantage. There was some romantic comedy on but by the time Soda arrived with green spaghetti and blue meatballs, the movie had ended, so they flicked the channel. I'm not sure what movie it was, but it had me head over heels terrified. I abrubtly hate scary movies! I swear I wouldn't mind if they dissapeared from the face of planet. I was curdled up in a ball trying to think happy thoughts while my brothers just ate like nothing was happening. Once they where finished eating and I was in the wreck of a nervous attack, they decided to scare me more! I have never screamed so stupidly in my life. I'm going to get them. I don't know what they saw in my face but they got tired of it and we just cuddled together in a ball and Soda rubbed my shoulder to calm me down while I had my fingers over my face and hesitating deeply. I couldn't even eat!

After the movie ended, none of us moved. We just stayed together, hugging and cuddling with each other like old times. It felt nice. Darry, next time I'm kidnapping you too. Brother, you where missing in the picture! I felt happy to be in my brothers' arms and soon enough we felt asleep. Together.

Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice

2010-05-20T18:10:00.004-05:00

Today had to be a happy day. It just had. I was done with the whole depressing and sad bullshit. I needed reckless at the point of stupidity time. So I didn't hang around the hospital today because a)hospitals still give me the creeps, too many blood and needles. And b)Soda was making me depress. I went over to Dawn's place and kidnapped her. I needed some time with my beffers and it's been a while since the two of us really hanged out. As in her and me, without you crazy people tagging along. We hot wired a red mustang and we drove around town, no real destination.

Well, no real destination until it occurred to me what we could do. So many of you don't know this but I am a drag racer and has been ever since I was fourteen and my dad taught me how to drive. It was our secret. Between him and me. We did it behind everyone's backs and he would encourage me every time there was a race. This is why when Soda officially taught me, after dad passed away, I was so good. So anyway. I decided it was time for Dawn to know and maybe the rest of you. I am starting to let go of secrets because they are slowly tearing my heart and that's not healthy. She didn't seem to notice but until we left Tulsa and drive to the country side. "Where are we going?" She asked. "Everywhere and no where". I said trying to avoid a direct answer. When we got to the place where all the races took place, Dawn looked at me with surprise. "You? A drag racer? You keep surprising me more." She said. I parked the car without answering and went to look for Tim and Buck who are part of my team. Here socs and greasers are equal. No one fights. No one dares fight. Because the dude (that's over sixty years old) that organizes this shit will kick them out and never allow them back again. This old guy has been doing this since he was in high school! My dad was actually a racer of his. It is a warm feeling. Makes me feel more close to dad here.

"Hey Kittykins!" Tim said when he saw me. He spotted Dawn and eyed me coolly. "You finally let if off your chest." He said. I winked and walked over to Buck. "So, who is racing today?" I asked. It was cute, the way Dawn just stood there not really knowing what to do. Buck took out a piece of paper and eyed it quickly. "Well it's you against..." He smiled crookedly. He turned to look at me. "You're going to love this. You race against Mr. Super Soc." He said. Standing across from us was no one else but Bob. He was standing next to a yellow mustang that appeared to be his. How many cars does the freaking boy have???? My smile slowly fade. "Don't start shit Kittykins." Tim said. "Or our best racer will be lost forever." I smiled at him. "Oh but I plan to do something better. I'm going to win him at his own game. Maybe trash his car a bit or so." I said. Tim and Buck highed four me and I went to get the mustang ready. Dawn followed me like a little puppy. "You can't possibly be serious. You're actually going to race against him?" She said with actual concern. Oh my. I smiled at her as I got inside the car and started it. "Yep and get in, I don't want you to miss this." Hesitating, Dawn got in the back seat and I drove to the start line. Tim and Buck where cheering from the side, as well as other greasers. I eyed Bob coolly. Fire burned my eyes and rage took over.

Ready. Set. Go. I hit the gas as strong as I could and the car reacted violently pulling itself forward. Dawn held herself to whatever she could so she wouldn't get hit by anything. The speed meter kept going up and up. "You need to change gears." Dawn said. "I know." "Then slow down." She said. I smiled confidently. I don't do slow down to change gears. I actually accelerate to do so. "What the fuck???" Dawn said. "Dawn shut up. You're distracting me." Poor girl was pale. I rolled my eyes. I remembered my first time. Bob was in front of me. I hit the gas more powerfully, pulling to the side and hitting his blind point. We bumped each other constantly, until I manage with the same bumping to leave him behind. I moved from side to side, blocking any possible way for him to pass me. The curve was getting closer. Dawn gulped and I speed even more. Bob was getting near. I acted quickly. He was coming from my right side, and before taking the curve, I slowed down almost to a stop, causing the car to bump into Bob's pushing his into a tree. I smiled and hit the gas violently. The car went faster and faster. Finish line was seconds away. One, two, three. There went Bob's victory.

I stopped the car and got cheerings from the greasers. When I turned to look at Dawn, she was freaking pale and gasping for her life. "Don't. You. Ever! Do. That. Again!" She said between gasps. I smiled innocently and laughed. Poor Dawn. The rest of the evening we partied with the rest of the greasers, celebrating our victory (and kicking Bob's fat ass). I'm going to bring each of you here and force you into the back seat. Oh yeah! It would be so much fun!

A Glass Splinter Making Its Way Into Your Heart

2010-05-15T23:43:00.005-05:00

I did something bad today. Something that I know I shouldn't have done. I didn't kill anyone, if that is what you're thinking. I would never do anything like that. Murder is a violation to nature. But I did something that I was told not to by my better judgement.

I have spend the last three days in the hospital. Only going out for school or when I really really need to be home. It's killing me. Soda has not smiled, or eaten, or slept in this three days and it's worrying. Katie has been crying herself out to the point where no more tears are to be expected. I feel horrible. They are crushed and broken. I hate this. I hate it with all my being. It hurts. Not just in the heart. It's a soul hurt. A real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart-pain. And I wonder, what did we do to deserve this? I would trade everything to make this pain go away. Even my own life. Katie has been sleeping most of the time, but she even cries in her sleep. It's just been Sodapop and me, and every once in a while someone from the gang. I need to be there for them. I know it's not my fault but I feel like in some part it is. Because I wasn't pleased with the idea of them having a baby in the first place. I didn't like it. I wanted it to go away. But then, I started to like it and I got exited when we named the baby and I wanted Snow to be born already so I could spend endless hours of pure fun and be the best godmother I could be. And it's gone. And I want revenge. I want Bob to suffer. I want to take something from him just like he did to my brother and sister. I want him to be sorry for the rest of his life.

Today I couldn't take it anymore. After Steve and Two-Bit came over to be with Soda, I rushed off. Anywhere would be good. I walked around town for a while, cursing and kicking stuff like there was no tomorrow. When I reached the South Side and found myself in front of Bob's home, I decided it ends tonight. I hot-wired his car and out of anger and frustration, I crashed it into the house. It was stupid and totally dangerous. But I wanted so badly to take something away from him. To hit him where it hurted the most. I wanted pain from him. The speed at which the car was going made the impact worst. The glass broke and the motor shut down. I cried when I saw myself in the mirror withing scars and scratchs. And I rushed out of there. I watched from far as the police came and the family stood there. I saw Bob's face and I didn't feel any better. I felt worst. Nothing I ever do will make him feel the way I do. Nothing. And I hate it.

It's all over town. Socs versus Greasers. It's war.

Revenge Is Sweet And Not Fattening

2010-05-09T12:48:00.004-05:00

As you may know last week's Friday, Sodapop throught it would be funny to have his new friend Dimitri give me a lap dance. I am not going to lie, I did like it but it was kind of awkward and embarassing. So that night, instead of going to bed angry, I decided to stay awake and plot my revenge.

So, last Friday I decided to take into action my plan. Steve and Soda had asked for the day off because they were going to a rodeo all day. There was a special event or something. The point is, they weren't coming home till late. So I told the girls about my plan, including Katie because otherwise it wouldn't look good on Sodapop and will probably end up in something bad and I didn't want to cause any pain to Katie. Sodapop could suck it. Anyway, the plan was, I was gonna get dressed like Sodapop and pretend to be him. I put on a pair of his old jeans. I always borrow his, since Pony's are way too short and Darry's are too damn big. Soda is more or less my height, maybe a little bit small but he'll grow someday....hopefully. I had to cover my breasts with bubblewrap so it would be flat and not raise suspicion. It was actually pretty funny. And then I put on a DX shirt. The next step was my hair and feminine features. We went to a beauty saloon but the girl that greeted us was really rude to us. That was until I told her why I needed her help. After she heard that I was trying to get back at my big brother, she smiled and agreed. She said she had older siblings too and what she would give to have gotten back at them only once. I thank God for making me charismatic.

She took us to the back and helped me become a man. She greased a wig and hid all my long hair in it. She placed on some sidebuns and put make-up on my face. When she was done, I looked almost exactly like Sodapop. It was freaky how much we looked alike, considering we are not twins or anything. She asked me if I could take a picture with her because I looked like a hot guy. I laughed and agreed and also promised I would come and tell her how it went. It's amazing the miracles make-up can do.

So after that, Blair and Carson walked with me to the DX. I told the manager I had come back to work and that I was feeling fine now. He believed me. Sucker. So anyway, just as usual, being Soda there, a bunch of girls came over and started flirting with me. I would have liked it of course if they had been boys but it was part of the plan so I just went along with it. A bunch of girls gave me their numbers and with several others, I agreed to go on dates that day. I got off work very early and went home to change. Since Pony was there, I sneaked through Soda and his window and got a clean shirt. I stared at myself for a moment. I could easily pass as a guy.

Long story short. With some girls I flirt, with others I kissed (has awkward and ew written all over it), with some I cuddle, etc. The more, the best for me and the worst for Soda. That night, I got home really late and had to change at Dawn's so none of the guys will know. The next day I followed Soda to work and when he got there, there was a bunch of girls waiting for him, bunch of angry girls that felt cheated. Poor Soda was chased all over town and Blair, Carson, Jelly, Dawn and I were laughing our heads off. We followed them and Soda ran into the house scared out of his mind. Inside, Katie was talking with some other girls and poor Soda got slap in the face several times. ROTFLMFAO!

The lesson learned today Soda is: Don't play games with a girl that can play better.

You Can See She's A Beautiful Girl, She's A Beautiful Girl

2010-04-26T21:19:00.004-05:00

I am very resentful when it comes to my friends. I don't like when people make them feel bad or hurt them. I have proven that point several times and this time ain't no exception. Well, Jelly had been feeling down lately. Now you know why. And I don't like it. After the little incident the other day at my house where Steve was not acting like a gentleman and I almost beat him for opening his big fat mouth, I decided to help bring her self-confidence and self-esteem back to Jells. Dawn and I had it all planned out. It was Kittay and Dawnie Poo to the rescue!

So I woke up early, really really early (by the way you owe me big time Jelly), and started to pack some things. Make-up, jewelry, pretty clothes, and all that girl stuff. Dawn got to my house before I was even ready. "Girl, seriously, what's with you waking up at six?" I asked. I mean anyone in their ride mind doesn't wake up at six in the fucking morning on a Saturday! But I guess Dawn isn't in her right mind. I wouldn't doubt it one second. So when I was finally able to walk without falling asleep we went over to Jelly's house. Her dad wasn't there and I pretty much have my own set of keys. We walked inside the house very quietly and once in Jelly's room we burst into corny songs duet and woke her up. "What the...?" She started. "We're kidnapping you Jell-O. So get your ass up and go take a shower because we gotta get ourselves even more pretty than usual." I said in an over cheerful voice. Jelly groaned and placed her pillow over her face. "It's seven in the morning! You guys are crazy!" She said. I turned to look at Dawn who gave me a partner in crime look. "You thinking what I'm thinkin?" "Yes Brain, let's conquer the world!" I laughed. Oh Dawn. "No Pinky. The other thing we do every night." "Oh, that thing. Let's do it." She said and winked.

After a few minutes we came back with a bucket of water and spilled it all over Jelly. She screamed. "What the fuck guys! Shit!" We couldn't help but laugh our heads off. "Rise and shine." We said in chorus. Jelly made a face but she went to take a shower. I turned to look at the wet bed. Shit I hadn't thought about that. "Hey Jelly-" But she caught me off. "No way Kittay. You guys got it wet, you guys dry it." I pulled off the sheets and gave them to Dawn. "Go dry them." She raised her eyebrow. "Yeah right." "Dry them or I'll beat you with my wooden spoon." I said. Dawn moved her head in dissaproval. "You're such a mean person." I chuckled. "Oh I know." I set everything up for when Jelly was ready and such. Dawn came back and we placed all the clothes in the bed. She looked confused when she came out. "What are these for?" She asked. "To wear, duh." Dawn replied. We started to mix and match all of our clothes. In the end we all looked really sexy in our outfits, it was kind of hard to believe they were our usual greaser clothes. I bow down to Dawn's fashion skills. Next came make-up. We had a really fun time. We started by playing with the stuff and I think we looked like clowns in the end but after all fun and games we got serious. We all looked really pretty, except Jelly kept on looking at herself in the mirror trying to spot faults. "Kitty, I-" I sighed. "Not one word Jelly." I placed my arms around her shoulders and made her look straight at her. "You're a really beautiful girl. Don't let anyone try to steal your fun. Look, you're a girl filled with light, if others don't like it, they can always wear sunglasses." I took a deep breath. "You are Jell-O Winston! I mean duh, you're one of the hottest girls in the universe. Tons of guys, will make lines for you. And you know I don't tell lie or compliment people just for the hell of it."

I'm not sure if my message was transmitted but I really hope it did. I am going to Seattle and killing the fucking poptart that started it. Grrrrr. So there we went. The Power Puff Girls to save the day! We went to party because what else do three teenage girls do on a Saturday afternoon? And besides, it's the only thing we are really really really good at. If you know what I mean. And then... Well I think I should let Jelly finish the story because after all, it was her night. Yeah, I'm this bad. Muahahaha.

It Hurts To Grow Up

2010-04-21T20:29:00.005-05:00

I don't know what to say, all I know is I gotta say something. I'm walking through this path called life without a map of where I'm headed to. Everyone's growing up so fast. It's crazy. I just wish it would all just slow down for a while. I don't want to grow up. I seriously don't. I just want to be able to do what I want and get my way. I want to be a kid forever. I know this isn't going to happen but, I don't know I'm all mixed up. Several things are going on I mean, first Soda and Katie's wedding, then Rhiley was born, and now Darry is marrying Bri. I'm not saying I'm not happy about it, I am, I just think I gotta feel something else beside unconditional happiness, but I don't and that scares the hell out of me.

I really haven't hang out with anyone lately. I been trying to raise my grades up for one thing. Colleage. But the thing is, I don't even know where to apply to or if I even want to apply. I got no hell of an idea where to go, what to do with my life. A part of me knows I want to get somewhere in life, but another just wants to stay where it is. I envy people who since always they have known what to do with their life. The other day I was helping Jamie for university options and I realized I haven't done half the things she has and she is constantly telling me that with my smarts I could get anywhere I wanted to. She's pushing me but somehow I'm pushing it back because colleage means growing up. It's not high school anymore. It's a whole new ball game. A whole new path.

I'm stubborn towards change. Always known that. I want things to be the way they were. I knew I had to talk to someone about this. I realized I'm such a hypochrite because I give people advice on how to deal with their problems but I never take that advice into my own life. I realized for the first time I needed my mom. I needed someone who could solve my problems and tell me what to do. But mom wasn't here and I knew that and I accepted it. So I went to the only person I knew that would give me the piece of advice I needed. I went to Buck. No you didn't read wrong and no I'm not out of my mind. Maybe I am but I always knew that. You see, despite whatever you might think of that guy, I hold a lot of respect towards him. I got to meet him without his shell of toughness that scares people off. He knows me at my best and at my worst. I feel kinda bad for not talking about this with Two-Bit but I don't know. I guess I'm a liar because I won't tell him everything. I know I'm stupid because sometimes I'm dead wrong. But that's the way it is and I needed someone who despite everything would tell me the things like they are and not hold any sympathy for me and I know you guys would.

So I went to Buck and I told him EVERYTHING. I didn't shead a tear because I don't do crying, even when I really want to. I didn't shead a tear because I'm not supposed to feel scared but I am and I'm trying to hide it. He told me, and I will remember his words forever. It was a long chat. He was somehow cold with the way he talked and I wanted it to be that way. Half of it I didn't really want to understand or accept. "You just gotta get there and be yourself. Things then will fall into place." I guess he's right somehow. After thanking him for taking his time to talk to an undecisive outsider like me, I went back to the house and hang out with Katie. Gosh I really am a mess. I guess I could have tell her too but no. I planned to just let it slip and I don't know, just live I guess. I'm not really sure what I'm getting to with this. Take it as feelings from a seventeen year-old outsider.

I Belive This Is Killing Me. If Only I Could Get Out Of This Place

2010-04-08T22:57:00.008-05:00

What can I say? I'm not sure who I want to beat the most. Either the socs for being the reason I am in the hospital or Darry and Soda for taking me to the hospital. I guess the answer is pretty obvious. No, not Darry and Soda. The socs. As you know the nurses needed to inject me some anethesia so I would pass out and be able to do their job. Because yeah, I was kicking and screaming and doing whatever it was that I can do to not get tested. I'm such a baby sometimes. And the room started to went silent. The voices slowly turned into whispers and then into a faint noise in the distance.

I woke up the next morning to find myself chained up with tubes all over my face and body and with something attached, and I mean literally attached, to my right hand. I didn't even bother to find out what it was, because believe me, I DIDN'T want to know. It was one of those moments when you don't know where you are or how you got there. Yeah I was suffering from short-term memory loss due to the forced drugs given to me the night before. I started to panic...again. I don't know why. It's something about being inside a hospital that just gets me. It creeps me out thinking off all the things that happen there and the things they can do to me. Not pretty. I kind of started screaming. Well not screaming, more like loud calling: "get me the fuck out of here!" There was a screen monitor by my side and it started making the up and down movements really fast and it was freaking me out and yeah I was trying to get the tubes out of my face. "I wouldn't do that if I was you. Those machines keep you alive." I turned around and there was Jelly's dad standing in the doorfront. I think I had a heart attack at that moment. "What?! Alive?!" And then I started freaking out again. Like seriously hyperventilating. Dr. Winston started to laugh. "Calm down kid, I'm only messing with you. But seriously, don't take them off." My breathing started to slowly calm dowm. "It wasn't funny." I said, throwing my pillow at him. He laughed again. "How are you feeling Kit?" It took me a moment to answer his question. I guess I was trying to feel that everything was fine. I regretted it afterwards. Everything, and I mean everything, even my thoughts hurt like crazy. "Good I guess." I lied. Yeah I wasn't in the mood for pityness and the soon I got out of there, the better. "How are Jelly and Johnny?" I asked. My first and only concern where them. I was just tagging along here. "Angelica is fine. She's still asleep and we need to run some tests on her. It's your friend Johnny that is serious." My heart dropped. All I could think about was 'why couldn't we have reached him earlier?' and those shitty thoughts you get when you think someone's fate was in your hands. "He's still unconcious and it's probable that when he wakes up he'll have trouble remembering things." I sighed and put my hands over my face. "Is he going to be alright?" I just heard paper being flipped and a sigh. "Well, he suffered from several broken ribs, a broken leg, a temporary memory block out, and an internal hermorrage..." I cut him off. "With all due respect, I don't want to know what he has, only the reasurance he's going to be ok." I said. My head was begging for simple words. A simple 'he's going to be fine' was all I needed. Jelly's dad walked over to me and fixed some things that were connected to the tubes in my face. For instance I could breath better and my pulse settled. He smiled. "He is." He said. I suddenly relaxed. I felt every end of my body sink into the comfort of the bed. Maybe Johnny was in terrible pain right now, but he was eventually going to be fine, and that's all that mattered. "Oh by the way," Jelly's dad stopped at the doorfront and turned to look at me. "You have a visitor." He said and leaving the room, he pointed towards someone to enter. I wondered who it was.

My face lit up into a big smile when Two-Bit entered the room with a bunch of balloons and a teddy bear. I chuckled. He looked so cute. He looked tired also and I bet he slept here last night. Cutie. "Hey, how ya feeling?" What is it with people always asking this question? I mean they can see a person lying in the ground, blood all over their face, bruised up, tossing and turning in pain and they go 'are you ok?' or 'how you feeling?' or something between the lines of that. But I guess the question had an exception in this scene. "Honestly, like shit." I said. He grinned and I couldn't help but grin back. "Hey uh, I brought you something." He said. I was about to make a comment but I decided to let the mood flow. It was cute. He settled the balloons at the side and he walked towards my left side of the bed. He leaned on it and gave me a furry brown teddy bear. "Aw, that's so cute of you." I said. "Jamie helped me pick it out. She said that I couldn't come visit you empty handed." I chuckled. He stood up and went to take the balloons. They were all helium balloons of different colours, one colour from each member of the gang.

Purple = Blair: Kit, I'm going to rip those motherfuckers eyelashes out and hang then in the roof and use them as a piñata!
Light Purple = Carson: No one puts my friends in the hospital! Grrrr. They're gonna get it.
Light Blue = Jamie: I hope you get better soon! I'm going to come visit you and bring you doughnouts!
Pink = Brookie: Thanks for finding my brother! I don't know what I would do without him. I hope you guys are ok.
Another Shade of Pink = Dawn: BFF! Don't worry, me and Steve are going to beat them up real good! I promise we won't have fun without you.
Yellow = Cristy: I hope you get better soon and so for Jelly and Johnny.
Light Orange? = Katie: Sweetie! I hope you're ok. I'm going to come visit you until you are fine! Don't worry, I'll take care of the boys for you ;)
Navy = Bri: I'm using navy in your honor! Get better soon girl, Darry here was crying. Seriously. He loves so much.
Orange = Steve: I'm being forced to write this. So, get better soon!

Green = Dally: I'm going to beat the shit out of those socs.
Red = Ponyboy: Haha! Kitty! I Need Help With My Spanish Homework! Please Come Back Soon!
Indigo = Darry: This color is so gay but whatever. Sister, don't do anything stupid while you're there. Remember you're there to get better not run around wild and try to escape.
Light Green = Sodapop: I guess this means I have some asses to kick. Sorry kicking ass buddy, you can't help me this time.

Woah those were too many balloons. I laughed at the crazyness of my friends. What would I do without them? I turned to Two-Bit. "Where's yours?" He looked down as if in shame. His voice made me laugh. He was impersonating a very sad almost crying person. "Those meanies stole the balloons and I couldn't write any." Aw. Cutie. "BUT I brought them to you as well as the teddy bear and that beats them all!" I laughed. "Yes it does." We spend hours talking about random stuff. After a while he asked. "Hey, did you know you talk in your sleep?" Epic mega ultra shit. I closed my eyes tight. I only talk in my sleep when I'm nervous, which just happens to be more often that I appreciate it to. One of the many reasons I have my own room. I just wondered one thing. What did he heard? What did I say? Ugh. I looked down a little embarrassed because yes, this is the only thing about myself that is embarrassing. "Yes... What did I say?!" I threw the question in. He stood for a moment in deep thought, trying to remember my exact words. This couldn't be good. "Well you started talking about yesterday night. Then about some things you gotta do for school and stuff. But the thing is, you kept on apologizing to your mother for something. You will never say what exactly for, just 'I'm sorry' and stuff. It was a little bit freaky since you kept on and on and on very persistingly and I think you wanted to cry to." I placed my hands over my face. Just perfect. I couldn't trust having anyone sleep here overnight. With this thing, I didn't want to risk saying something I might regret in the morning. "Yeah can we like not talk about that anymore." He looked confused but I think he got the message that I didn't want to really get into detail of what he heard. He didn't argue, so I guess he wasn't comfortable with talking about it either. We just continued to talk about whatever it was that came into our minds. It got uncomfortable when he made jokes because every time I laughed my chest hurted in an insane amount of pain and that was not fun, so he tried to cut the jokes but I told him to forget to forget it. My day seemed to be going better, until...

I think I'm being punished for something I did in a past life. Seriously. That's when I met....Amy. "I'm sorry but visiting hours are over." She said. I turned around to see a tiny red-headed woman in a nurse outfit. I could see my day going down. Did she just kicked my boyfriend out? Hell no. "Excuse me but he stays." Amy turned to look at me. She had one of those expressions that just makes me want to beat people. "Only family is allowed to stay." I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. "Duh. He is my family." She walked towards Two-Bit. "Get out or I'll be forced to call security." I would have jumped then and there if I hadn't been attached to my bed. Two-Bit kissed me goodbye and ran out. I was pissed. She closed the door of my room and I think I heard her lock it. I folded my arms and stared at the woman standing in front of me. My expression was not friendly. Actually, if looks would kill, yeah you get the picture. "Well as a more formal introduction, my name is Amy and I will be in charge of taking care of you." I lifted my eyebrow in fake excitement. "Your name is honey?" I sighed. "Psst." I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, KitKat. Well, we'll procceed to make some tests to determine what's the problem with you." I was very annoyed and maybe we started in the wrong foot, but I was not pleased that she kicked Two-Bit out when he had total permission to stay here. "Look lady, I am fine. I don't need any tests or whatever shit you do here." I said.

When I refused to help her get me to the tests room, she injected me a liquid, I think it was cyclopropane or something, but it had to be an overdose since that just makes you sleepy and not knocks you unconcious. Anyway, when I woke up, I was inside one of those machines that take x-rays of your brain to make sure you're not a complete moroon or something. Shit. I could barely keep my eyes open. The light was so bright it hurt. I was in one of those gowns that can make everyone look like a balloon and sighed. Please let me out of here. I was finally able to get out and they took me in a wheel chair to another testing room. Seriously, they make you look like a fucking invalid. Ugh! The next test was x-rays. I was feeling dizzy and I told them to stop. Like in dead silence I just erupted. "Stop it!" I was back in my room and god I think I felt even worse than I did the first night. I couldn't walk so I had to stay in my room staring at nothing, trying to figure out what to do. Later, Jelly came into my room draggin the serum with her. My face lit up to see her up and running. "Hey Jell-O. How you feeling?" She groaned and sat down at the couch next to my bed. "You're like the seventh person that has asked me that." I laughed. "Seventh is the best." "Yeah. And does the term 'like shit' help?" I nodded. "That's my statues since Monday night." We started talking about Amy and how we effing hated her guts when suddenly a little old man passed by in his wheelchair really fast and the nurses were chasing him. I got up and sneak out the door. How? I don't know. I guess just jumping up and down in one leg. Whatever. Jelly did too and we laughed as the little man in the wheelchair turned at the corner and raised back towards us. "Go dude!" We cheered, but without making Amy stop to glare at us. She took Jelly with her and came back a few minutes later. What's her problem? I really don't know. She had a bag with several vaccines in there. You guys should have seen the size of the effing needles. Fuck my life. I backed away because needles = not good. She hold me up and started injecting one by one. By the fifth one I was seeing ducks flying around and hippos and rainbows. I was dizzy. I really don't know what was in those vaccines but I can tell you I was being drugged against my own will!

That night I puked like crazy all over the bathroom. Not good. It was the counterpart of the drugs. I stood in the bathroom floor, staring at nothing, wondering when it would all end. And this was only the first night. Fuck my life. Wednesday morning or afternoon, I woke up and Katie was there with me. Aw, she's such a cutie. She came to visit me while Sodapop didn't. -.- "Hey Katie, what are you doing here?" I said sleepy. Katie stood up from the couch and walked over to me. She took some hair from my face. She's really nice, like the older sister I never had. "Well I found out yesterday morning that you were here but when I came to visit you they told me that we weren't allowed to see you. Something about some tests and stuff." I streched my arms, ignoring the fact that by doing so I was pulling the chord to the thing that connected the serum with my hand. Shit. Bad idea. "Yeah I felt like shit afterwards." She smiled and we started talking. I just realized something. I guess one good thing came out of this expirence. I am always rushing through life because I like to live fast. I needed to slow down. Being here in the bed talking to people I didn't stop to really talk before made me feel great. And that, of course, until visiting hours where over.

Jelly's dad then came to check on me. I found it really amusing that he is my doctor and I am always remembering him that. But we stopped joking around when it came the time to get serious. Ugh. When he was done, and the awkardness was over, he told me I could go hang out with Jelly only if I used a wheelchair to move around. Wheelchair?! You gotta be kicking me. I don't do wheelchairs. And my leg wasn't even broken. It was just a sprained. Gosh. But that was the only way I could go around the hospital. So there I go, KitKat Curtis sitting in a wheelchair. You might as well kill me now. I went to Jelly's room and told her if she wanted to hang around the hospital. It pissed me off how she was walking and I was in the wheelchair. But I'm not going to think about that because it will piss me off more. We walked towards the cafeteria, not really in the mood to eat anything but yeah, just wandering around and we saw the little old man that had the nurses chasing after him. I decided to make him some company and bow down to his awesomness. After a long funny talk, we befriended the dude. He's epic awesome and my new BFF. No, not best fuck friend Blair. He told us that he had been stuck here since three months ago and he was getting tired of it. Three months?! I have been here two days and I'm in the border of dying. My respects to him. It turns out, Amy was his nurse during the first month and he isn't so fond of her either. So we started to plot against her. It was pretty funny the things we came up with. We decided to take into action that night, when everyone was 'asleep'.

That night I pretended to go to sleep early. When I 'woke up' I went to knock on Jelly's room and then on to the little old man's room. It was easy to sneak around since most of the nurses are at their lounge at three in the morning. We set the floor with grease and put a wheelchair there. We had the door to the closet open and ready to lock it. Jelly was the first to take the plan into action. She took Amy's key to her locker and when the nurse tried to opened it she saw Jelly holding her and began to chase her. She ran towards the grease and stepped aside. Before Amy could reach her, she slipped in the oil, and fall into the moving wheelchair. She collided with the closet wall and we shut the door locked. It was a laugh that none of us will ever forget. Did I mentioned the closet was where they keep the organs? Well those types of rooms have their own temperature, managable from outside. We lowered the temperature up to -23 degrees. It was fucking hilarious! Then we started messing with her records and paperwork and lasted a good hour and half there. Until she managed to get our and with the help of her male nurse friends they injected us a chemical and knocked us unconscious. It wasn't pretty because we literally kicked and scream and bite but they got to us. Sigh.

The next morning my head was killing me. Amy came to my room and tried to wake me up. I put my blankets over my head and refused to fall into her wishes. I groaned and whined until she got me up. Not good. I went to visit Jelly to her room and we started to see St. Elmo's Fire. It was Jelly's forth time in a week but she didn't complain because she effing loves the movie. We locked the door so Amy wouldn't ruin it for us and we invited our little old man over. We had a pocker match while we discussed our next prank on our so called nurse. Then, after Jelly's door was literally forced open by a security guard, I had to go to do another couple of tests. Epic ugh. Darry came to check on me and that's when Jelly's dad came to talk to him. They were talking outside and had the door barely open. "You know if you opened the door and speak louder I could hear better." I said and they just came in since it was me they were talking about. Apparently I had sprained my left leg, lost a bit of blood, high intensity migranes and just one broken rib. That was it? Fuck I think there was more to it by how I felt, but I didn't argue. For all if that was it that meant I could go home soon! Yay! But as always, luck doesn't like to fully shine on my side so I would only be allowed to leave Saturday. Le sigh. So I'm going to make a summery of all my visitors because otherwise I will never end. Steve, Dally and Darry came all at the same time and made fun of me. :( I threated to beat them all with my Q-tips if they didn't stop laughing at my wheelchair situation. Then Ponyboy came to visit and he was all "Hey Kitty! I need help with my Spanish homework." I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. "Dude, do I look like I want to help you with your Spanish homework?" Geez. But being the nice sister I always am I corrected all his spelling mistakes and even pretended to pay attention when he read his poem to me. Then they were gone and I was alone again. Sigh. So I went to visit Johnny because I hadn't seen the kid in a while. I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh at his cow gown he was wearing and he told me 'one word and I'll make Amy give you one' so I didn't risk it. Jelly was there too and we told him about our adventures in pranking Amy. He actually came with a good one.

That night Brooke came to visit us as well as Jamie. She had her arm fixed up and told us about her little encounter with some socs. I swear I'm going to kill them. That be the last thing I ever do. Grrrr. So anyway, once I told the little one that I would become her personal body guard from now on and everyone was literally kicked out, we decided to take our plan into action. We gathered some of the gross jello they give you and we mixed it up in the toilet the nurses use. We put grease all over the sit and we painted the soap bar with clear nail polisher. Then we filled 70% of foam in a paper bag and placed it in the door. The little old man managed to set the time for when Amy was going to use the bathroom so we set it all up in time. We hide at the nearest wall and waited for the action to begin. About ten seconds later we hear a big "EW!" followed by a scream. We laughed our heads off and there comes Amy all grossed out with foam and grease all over her coming towards us. Shit. We ran like hell. Well, drove like hell or whatever. It turns our Amy has a few not so nice friends and yeah, it wasn't pretty. You can't imagine the stuff they did to us. Some are not worth repeating. They like to pull out needles and suck out blood and test it and then drug us with God knows what and swear its 'for your own good'. They think we are retarded or what? Don't answer that. They started to get really bitch at my new BFF and they were injecting chemicals and it was really harsh. I lost my temper and slap Amy in the face. Piece of advice. Never hit a nurse. She hold my wrists ignoring the fact of my invaldiness and tried to hold me down. The other nurse took out a needle and I don't know what they did but I was unconcious again. Le sigh. I wouldn't have hit her if she wasn't a pathetic excuse for a nurse and got in my nerves all the effing time.

When I woke up the next day Amy was doing something that it's not worth repeating because you'll get nightmares just like I did. She was putting back on my gown and pulling my blankets towards me. No wonder my dream was so pleasing. Major ew. Appareantly a genetial or whatever the name is called was recuired and I almost freaked out. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING MUFFIN? GET OUT!" I said as I tried to get off and beat her for doing God knows what. I want to cry. She pulled out her needle again and I stopped her. "Dude, you gotta stop doing that. I will end up like a fucking drug addict for your fault." I went to Jelly's room and jumped into her bed and hugged her. "I'm sueing this hospital for invasion to privacy and harrassment." I said. She looked at me. "What happened?" "You don't want to know." "Tell me." So I told her and she also let out a major ew. We decided to leave Amy alone because we didn't know what she would be capable of doing to us. Sigh. We hang out with Johnny and guess who came to visit? Tim Sheppard. That made me kind of pissed. I mean Tim Sheppard comes to visit me but not Sodapop Effing Curtis? What the fuck?! But I was touched that he took the time to come and see if we were ok. He told us there was a rumble Sunday and he was putting up with those socs once and for all. Yay. Something good came out of all this shit. I felt like I was guest staring in a Gray's Anatomy episode. You guys won't believe all the gossip that goes there. I mean, the patients even made a bet on how long a certain doctors' relationships was going to last. When we came to the patient lounge we got a huge applause and congrats. Apparently we're the shit, but that's something I already know. We made tons of friends there. There was this little kid that had been stuck there for over a year. Some rare disease and I was not up to ask him what it was. There were a lot of teenagers who had waited for someone to pull it up with the head nurse once and for all. I feel special. Did you guys know they party there? I sure as hell didn't. Bunch of teenagers + one room = party!

And the highlight of my day came when Carson got stuck there too. I laughed at her because she had to put up with what I did all week. Hehe. She kept on texting me to let Two-Bit visit her but I felt like not sharing my boyfriend. That was until her texts started to get on my nerves so I send him to her. And then, the moment I had been anxiously waiting for a whole week. Saturday came and Darry and the apeface came to rescue me! Thank you! :D. He brought me some clothes and I was finally able to get out of those horrifying pieces of cloth and walk! Yay! We checked up with the doctor and he told Darry about my behaviour and the fact that I had to be tested unconcious otherwise I would scream and yell and kick. He looked at me and I just smile and nod, nod and smile. Hehe. On my way out I said good by to my BFF and to my admirors and even told one kid "give Amy hell for me. I'm making you my heir now." Yes aw! I miss my BFF already. Sigh. Oh well I'll come and visit him every day if I have to. On the car Soda sat down with me in the back seat. He was 'making up for not visiting me'. Sigh. Whatever. "Darry there are two things I want to do. One get a decent hamburger and two play football." Darry turned to look at me. "What the? No way." I sighed. "Darry, I been effing invalid for five days, forced to where a dreadful gown, and been injected more drugs than I can coung. I want a burger and to play football." "Kit..." Soda started but I cut him off. "Darry, drive. Burger first."

Still Fighting It

2010-04-05T19:40:00.005-05:00

"You guys are moving in too. Don't think you get rid of me that easy." Soda said as Darry and he announced they were selling the house to move down the street. This is one of the moments I wish I was a legal adult, so my voice actually counted! I don't like when Sodapop and Darry do all the decisions in the house, makes me feel like there's no balance in power. More specifically, that I have no power. Yeah. NOT good. I don't know about Pony but I don't want to move. I love my tiny pathetic excuse for a house to bits. I mean, it's the house that saw me and my awesomeness grow. But.... I guess that if that's the right thing to do then we should do it. Sigh.

Johnny's gone missing. Not good. Definitley not good. I can't help but think that socs have something to do with this. My gosh I just hope he's ok. I guess Pony figured out my words weren't convincing me. Where are my lying skills when I fucking need them? I gave him a hug trying to make him feel better, because I was sure as hell my words weren't doing the trick. There comes a time when an actions is worth a thousand words. I stood up and called Jelly. I told her what happened and she told me she already knew. I could hear the sadness in her voice and maybe I'm wrong but could it be that there was a tear on her face? I let it go for her sake. Monday morning I woke up earlier than everyone else. It was around 5:30 and left a note saying I had gone to school early. I ditched it. I went to Jelly's place and literally dragged her out. "Dress up, we're going to go look for Johnnycakes." I said. She looked at me. She had a tired expression in her face, along with thrusted pain. "Kittay, I...." But I cut her off. "Look Jells, I know this may be hard for you but someone has to do something and yeah you are one of those someone's. So get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs." I said. I didn't realize the harship in my words but until I analyzed the echo in my head. Maybe this was hard for Jelly but if someone didn't take action and start looking for the kid, who knew if he'd ever come back on his own.

It was 6 by the time we got out of the house. "So, were to?" Jelly asked. I had no freaking clue. I just knew I had to look for Johnny. I didn't know to where. It's not that I didn't thought about it but I had a hard time figuring it out. "Um, maybe to the places he hangs out. If not, to the... the south side." I said. Jelly put her arm in front of me and stopped me. At moments I forget Jelly is older than me. She spun me around and said. "The south side? You think the socs have him." I looked down for a moment. I tried very hard to not let my hatred for the rich kids influence the whereabouts of my friend, but I failed. I knew the socs were capable of something like this. It was so like them and if they had beaten Johnny like they had last time, I just prayed he wouldn't be alive. It scares me the things that those kids can do. They almost killed my baby brother and no I haven't forgiven them for that.

We looked for him everywhere. Every inch of the north side and the middle of town. It was around 4 by the time we considered adventuring into unknown territory. Sometimes I wish I had friends in the south side. This would have been a whole lot easier.

It was starting to get dark by the time we decided to enter the south side. We had to shoplift some socs clothes because our cleary spelled 'greaser' and being a greaser in the south side is like driving your car straight to a cliff. Not good. Anyway, we started to walk around the streets of this part of town. I have been here only once before. That party where I met Talan and had ended up with 5 fucking muffins (muffin is the new bitch, like son of a muffin, get it? no? moving on) muffing at me. God those houses were huge. Anyway, we looked all over. I was getting impatient and I knew this was killing Jelly. I needed to find him. I needed to make sure he was alive for everyone's sake. And the hours went ticking by and soon enough I think it was around midnight. I was getting soooo yelled at when I got home, if I got home that night. We sat down at one of those benches in the park. I sighed and leaned down. I was so tired. Jelly placed her head on my should in exhaustment. She was so sleepy and I felt guilty for being the cause of her lack of rest. "You really think we are going to find him?" She asked. I wanted to say 'yes', but I wasn't sure. I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to consider the possibility that he might... I'm not going to think about that. "I really hope we do Jells." I said. We were falling asleep. Slowly our eyes were giving in to the heavyness of our lack of sleep. Until...

What we heard next was beyond comparable. A horrible scream. Someone yelling desperately in pain. The noise took us by surprise. In that low and calm night, the yell frigten us. We jumped up. I didn't know who was screaming. I couldn't see right. It was very dark. "C'mon!" I shouted mostly to myself. My legs were tired but they gave in to the sudden urge to run towards the voice. I didn't know what I was going to find at the other end but if someone was yelling that way, because you got no idea how it felt, they most be in real trouble. The screams continued and we could start to distinguish some voices too. It lead us to a dead end. A ally. There were all boys, even the one screaming. He seemed to be in terrible pain. My heart dropped when I found out who the boy was. And they were all surrounding him. Those filthy, stupid, fucking sons of a muffin! I felt a ball of rage spread through y entire body. My blood boiled and I don't know what look I had on my face but Jelly backed away when she saw me, that was when she saw Johnny laying on the floor. Blood was purring all over his face and body. The socs were laughing as they threw glass pieces at him. "You fucking poptart! Mess with someone your own fucking size!" I yelled. They all turned to look at us. They smiled cruelly as they dropped their beer bottles and started to walk toward us. "Jells," I started. "They are going to start fighting us, so we gotta act quick." I gulped for a moment. "Get behing me and when they are close enough sneak out and help Johnny, I'll try to distract them." Jelly look at me as if I was insane. "There's no time to play hero Kittay. You can't take the all." Maybe Jelly was right and I shouldn't try to play hero but I wouldn't let Jelly take them all by herself while I helped Johnny. Forgetting she was older than me I spoke. "Just do as I say Jells."

And so she did. "Well, well, well. Look what the wind drove in." The first socs said. "She's a cute brat Trace." The second socs said. "You guys better fuck off because I will kill you." I said and I meant it. Lay one hand on and they were dead. I didn't care if I was put into a girl's home, they don't hurt my friend and get away with it. They laughed. "And what are you going to do greaser? Scratch me with you pretty nails. But then you'll break one." It took me by surprise that they call me greaser. After all I was supposed to be a socs. But I didn't care what they said, actually, it was even better if they knew I was a greaser. Tough girl. They got closer and the boy named Trace placed his hand on my shoulder and tried to kiss me. Epic 'ewwwwww'. That's when the first punch was thrown. Soon it was five boys against a girl. Fucking shit. This was probably so stupid and it totally lacked common sense but shit, you want to use your head and analyze the situation of save your skin? I must admit, and I hate admiting, that even though I put my best fight, they had me down. And yeah, punches here and there. And I was at the border of unconciousness when someone from behind took off me the boy that was kicking me. I didn't know who it was but there were a bunch of them, and I saw the socs run away. I was shaken really rough but I was already awake. Hell just because I was at the border to unconciousness doesn't mean I was still kicking whoever was in front of me. "Two-Bit get Johnny into the car and Steve help Jelly." Suddenly I recognize the familiar voice and I was finally able to distinguish Sodapop. "Soda how? How you got here?" I said trying to get up but yeah failing to do so. I was dizzy. "Shh. Kit take it easy." He said and he helped me up. I turned and saw Johnny, beat up as ever, being carried by Two-Bit and Jelly, with blood all over her face too, helped by Steve. "JELLY!" I yelled and ran to her. She was unconcious and I suddenly felt a knot in my stomach. I turned to Sodapop. He read my mind. "She was being kicked by other socs when we got here." I suddenly felt another ball of rage invade me. They were going to get me. I started to run toward the direction that the socs had ran to, but Soda hold me down. "Kit. Kitty calm down. They are gone now. Don't do anything stupid." "No Sodapop let go! They're going to get it." But even if he had let me go, I doubt I would have made it two steps forward. I was dizzy and my freaking head seemed like it was going to burst out. I was in physical pain. Unimaginable. Soda caught me before I felt and he carried me to another car. Darry started the engine and Soda stayed in the back with me.

Tulsa ain't a big town and the south side isn't that far from the north side. When we didn't get home as I had estimated the time it would take to, I started to panick. "Where are we going?" I asked. "The hospital." My heart felt. "What? Hell no!" Darry turned to look at me. "I'm not kidding KitKat. You look like shit. You got blood all over your face and you can barely walk." "Darry, don't yell at me." I was surprised by my words. Darry was not yelling but his words echoed in my sensitive head. Even the lowest buzzing felt like a scream. Soda and Darry exchange looks and then, he pulled into the Emergency Section of the hospital. I started to panick. Needles, blood tests, effing tubes attached to my face. In his dreams I was setting one feet on the hospital. They put me on one of those wheel chairs, Soda holding me down, and the nurses started to take me to a room or something. I saw Jelly and Johnny in separate rooms. I jumped out of the wheel chair and ran towards them. I almost fell. The nurses hold me as I desperately tried to make sure Johnny was ok. They took me towards one of those rooms where they do the tests and shit. I act like a baby around hospitals but that's simply because I fucking hate them. Unable to hold me down, they had to inject me some sort of anesthesia. And I fell into a dreamless sleep.

It Turns Out You Can't Save People From Themselves

2010-03-28T19:53:00.008-06:00

Blair once said that I was the voice of reason in this gang. The mother that yells at you people when you're being idiots and hugs you when you're crying. So that's exactly what I'm gonna do right now. Yell at you. Because you ARE acting like idiots. Guys seriously cut it out. Life is tough. Deal with it. There is no negotation in that part. You either suck it up and go along with it or make yourself the victim and suffer for suffering.

A broken heart. Yes you will have them and yes they hurt. But guess what? The world doesn't stop because your heart got broken. Things happen for a reason. If the relationship didn't work it is because it wasn't meant to be in the first place. At least not at the moment. Life is a perfect plan and out of that perfect plan every situation, every expirence is carefully taken into action. If it didn't work out in the first try, try again, or move on. But go forward. Don't stay in pause because the world WON'T wait for you. Love IS about rejection. Getting your heart broken is just another way to remember that you're alive. Don't go begging for love, wishing for love, or crying for love. Just LIVE!

Love triangles. Guys, c'mon. You go through this as if it was the end of the world. Maybe it is for you, but hell the world doesn't end because of this. As I told you already. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A FUCKING REASON! It gets on my nerves to see longlife friends yell at each other because of something like this. I know, seeing the boy you love be with someone else hurts. I won't deny that, but don't fall for someone unless their willing to catch you. Everyone, YES EVERYONE, has someone special meant for them and sometimes, that special someone turns out to be the last person you expected. If this person doesn't love you back, sweeties, don't waste your love on it. Move on, because in the long run, that's way better than living a lie.

Depression. Yes, everyone is entitle to feel sad sometimes, but some of you abuse the priviledge. Guys, c'mon, you act like you're 60 and upset about where your life ended up. Dudes, you're young! You got your whole freaking weird life ahead of you! You have the chance to grow up with style and live every freaking crazy moment of it. Every 60 seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you will never get back. You may think I'm acting like Little Miss Sunshine over here, but what the fuck is wrong about that? Someone has to make everyone's life a little bit more happy. I think the whole reason all of you are depressed is because something is not ok in your lives. Either because you have a broken heart, had a bad day, are involve in a love triangle, where you're standing, whatever, but dudes, you'll never feel better if you don't let all of that go and start all over. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Who cares what others think? You are who you are and you should love it. No one is 100% like you and will never be.

Pablo Neruda wrote a poem and I think all of you should read it and understand it.

It Is Now Forbidden

It is now forbidden to cry without learning.

To wake up one day and no longer have dreams.

To become afraid of your own memories.

It is now forbidden to not smile in the face of adversity.

To stop fighting for those you love.

To abandon it all because of your fears.

Or to give up in making your own dreams come true.

It is now forbidden to pretend we don't need to understand each other.

To place less value in the lives of others.
To ignore each of us has a unique path to joy...

It is now forbidden not creating your story.

To not have a moment for the people that need you.

To not understand that life gives but also takes.

It is now forbidden to give up on happiness.

To abandon all optimism.

To quit improving ourselves.

To believe the world will be a better place without you.

So guys, be happy, because life goes by very fast. I don't want you to wake up one day and wonder 'what would have happened if...?'. Life will be tough at times, but that's why we got each other. We are best friends and as Brookie once said, 'Best friends. It's not a label, it is a promise.' I'm here for you. Always have and always will. I will continue to yell at you when you're being idiots and hug you when you're crying. Because I LOVE YOU.

It's A Love Story

2010-03-20T18:16:00.005-06:00

Finally the day I bet my brother waited for tossing and turning in his bed all week. I woke up early today and for the first time I didn't complain, because it wasn't about me, I was doing it for my brother, and that was my commitment to make his day special. I got up and took the longest cold shower ever. When I went to my room I took a long gaze at the golden dress hanging on my closet door. I was going to wear a dress. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I mean, I got nothing against dresses, they are nice and all but I just don't really like wearing them. The girls all arived at my house so I could help them with their hairdo's and stuff, since after my mother died I became the gang's personal styler. I asked Katie the night before how she wanted us to look and she gave a planned physical apperance planner. I took about two hours to get through all the girls. Carson and Blair kept complaning about putting make-up in their face but I told them that if they opened their mouth once more I beat the shit out of them. I wasn't feeling too good. My head was threatening with exploding at any given moment and the talking wasn't doing any good. But I got through with it. Finally I was able to get myself ready and tell the girls to wait for me at the church. Katie was up and I told her to change, that I would do her make-up and stuff at the bride's room. Darrel helped me get Soda to his place and we tried to avoid having them see each other since Jamie told me it was bad luck that the bride and groom saw each other but until the wedding officially started. I got Katie to Westbrook Avenue and I started doing her hair and make-up. Another hour went by as I got her even more pretty than usual very slowly. I left her with her other bridesmaids and ran over to the groom's room. Darry, Pony, Steve, and Soda where there. Darry was adjusting Soda's tux and I asked Pony where the rest of the groomsmen where. You know, Johnny, Two-Bit, and Dally. Pony told me they were looking for someone to help them fix their ties and stuff. I rolled my eyes and ran to get them, again. They were wandering around and I told them to be in the groom's room and wait there. Two-Bit smiled at me when I was fixing his apperance and told him to help me up here. Again, I rushed over to the room. Soda was standing there, looking handsomer than ever. He had a huge smile on his face and looked very proud of what he was about to do. I told the guys to give me a minute alone with him and of course they complained because I was contradicting myself but I didn't care. "So, how you feeling?" I asked my brother. Soda took a deep breath. "Kind of nervous but in a good way." He said. I smiled. "You know, mom and dad would be proud." I said. "Yeah, I bet they would be." I took a step towards him and fixed his bowtie. "You know I'm proud of you too." I said looking at him. He chuckled. What did he expect? I'm a corny human being. "You are?" "But of course. Just for the plain simple fact of you being you." I said. "I love you sis." "I love you too." And then we hugged each other and I got used to the idea that there was another important girl in my brother's life. Go him.

After that I ran all over the church making sure things were going smoothly. I'm a control freak. What can I say? I just wanted all to be the nearest to perfect. That was until Darrel told me to calm down and got me my aspirin. Yay. The wedding then started, and I stood with the other bridesmaids at Katie's side. When the wedding ceremony was over, we started to party. After a few dances and one special one with my brother, it was time to tell my speech. Which, so that you guys know, I worked very hard on the whole week because of my lack of inspiration. What is it with things missing when they are essential? I got up into the podium and asked for everyone's attention.

"Everyone, I'm going to take some minutes of your unconditional attention because I want to adress a few words to those present."

I took a long breath trying to remember what I had come up with those past few nights.

"For those who don't know me, I'm KitKat Curtis, Sodapop's younger and wiser sister."

I said, chuckling at the fact that everyone did know who I was, but hey, you never know. I took a deep breath and stood there. Suddenly everything I had come up with fade away from my mind. I couldn't remember anything that I had written down and memorized. I looked at everyone. They were all staring at me, waiting for words to come out of my mouth. I have never felt nervous talking in public, but I didn't know what to do. Why did it have to happen to me? At the most important time, why me? So I decided, to just talk. Share what my heart felt.

"Sodapop is a person that does after what he wants. We all know him. And we know Katie here was no exception.

The past few months, maybe even the past year, it wasn't easy for us. For any of us. We sticked together, just like family does, and even though there were times when we wanted to strangle each other, we hold on.

I was a witness for my brother's broken heart. Those moments when out of now where, he would burst into tears. I'll tell you what my first thought was: 'I'm going to strangle the next girl that dares break his heart.' It was no surprise then that when Sodapop met Katie at that party that Steve literally dragged him to -because who goes to a party at 3 in the morning?, only Steve- and came home to tell us about it, I had the same feeling or attitude towards Katie as any other girl that had gotten romantically involved with him. But, I gave her some credit since she didn't laugh at any of our totally unique names, so that was the first step for liking her. Go her."

I stopped for a moment. I had a huge smile on my face and my voice was happy and high. I gave the emotion for each part as I intended to and looked at the young couple before me. I put a small rebel brown hair behind my shoulder and continued.

"Katie taught me something, and she realized it before I did. After my paretns died, life was tough. No doubt about that. They had left an unfilled hole in my chest. I saw couples fighting all the time. Guys beating up girls, girls cheating on guys. It was horrible. I had lost hope in this powerful little word called 'love'. What was love anyway? Love didn't exist. Love was an illusion. I needed so desperately to know that two people could stay in love with each other, forever. When these two started dating, it took me a while to learn that love did exist. Call me cheesy or corny or whatever it is you want to call me, but it was there, and it was amazingly strong. When I turned sixteen years-old, Katie threw me a party, that I would spare the details of because we all remember it."

I made a pause, looked at Katie and smiled. I made more emphazis on my words. I wanted to leave the message clear.

"That day, that November 21st day, I went over to her and asked her if we could talk. She said -what else?- of course. I asked her: 'How do you do it? How can you love a person for so long? How do you know they are the right person?' Katie looked at me, smiled, took a long deep breath, and with her usual sweet voice said: 'Find someone who loves you for you. That is the person worth to stay with.' It was that moment, that I realized she had taught me probably the most important lesson in my whole life. In that moment, she became more than just a friend to me; she became, unknowingly, my older sister."

I smiled at myself. I could see the joy and smile on Katie's face. My gaze turned for a moment to the people around me. Those crazy fellows I call best friends. They were paying close attention to my words and I could swear for a moment, Darry looked like he was about to cry. Tough enough. I took another deep breath, and my voice was high and emphatic again.

"Now, I'm going to tell you the most important thing that I learned from my brother, and best friend, Sodapop Curtis. Forgiveness."

I said the word with a sweet calm voice. There was another pause. I turned to look at Soda. The look on his face was priceless. He looked so proud of what he had just done, it took my breath away. Then, my voice turned high and emphatic again and I talked to Soda more than to anyone else in particular.

"Despite whatever life throws ag him, he welcomes it with a huge smile on his face and open arms. How does he do it? I didn't know. Maybe I still don't know, because it ain't something you will find in a book, or doesn't have a whole logical explanation attached to it. It's a feeling and feelings are complicated. He taught me that things will eventually get better. It may be stormy right now but it just can't rain forever. He taught me to smile at life even if it didn't smile back. because every sixty seconds we spend angry or upset, it's a minute of happiness we'll never get back."

I stopped for a moment. It amazed me the things that my heart had to say. It was better than the speech I had written using my head. Things turn out better when we close our heads and let our hearts do their job.

"Looking at them, I feel envious of the gift they share, and I hope that one day I'll be lucky enough to find someone that will share the same gift with me."

I turned to look at Two-Bit, who had a huge smile on his face. He was smiling at me. I winked at him and his smile grew bigger. I felt my heart race and slow down at the same time. For a moment, things became simple.

I raised my glass of wine, directing it towards Katie and Soda. The room was silent. I had the last word.

"Katie, welcome to the family."

I said with a sweet, high, and loving voice. The room turned into a burst of applause. I walked down the podrium and walked over to Katie and Soda. I gave each of them a hug and let them enjoy their night. Two-Bit stood there, looking tough in his leather jacket and suit. "Nice speech." He said. I smiled and I could feel the blush taking over my cheeks. "Thanks." I said. The music started all over again. He looked down for a moment. Then, back at me. "Can I have this dance?" He asked, extending his hand for me to take it. "I would love to."

All Fun And Games 'Till Someone Gets Hurt

2010-03-13T19:33:00.005-06:00

Thursday night I came back from Cali. I have seriously never been more glad to be back. I drived the whole way back here and I think I almost killed everyone. But being my friends, Blair, Car, and Two-Bit ride in my car no matter how many times I nearly kill them. Thanks guys. Anyway, it's an ten hour journey so just imagine. I can't sit still for an entire hour class, just imagine ten hours straight, so what we did was sing songs and stuff. We woke up at six in the morning to more or less get home by four. Who wakes up early this days? We all went to a party Wednesday night, to enjoy our last night in the beach, so we went to sleep like at three. We were all either drunk or just plain tired. Blair and I were the only ones sober, since she's pregnant (duh) and I'm banned from alcohol, so I had to drive. The first three hours I don't know how I managed to get us safely through the highway but we got there. Yay me. Anyway, we got to Tulsa around six. By that time we were just sick of the highway and wanted to lay down anywhere. When I got home, I swear I had never seen my brothers so happy to see me. They were having dinner and I just bursting in saying "Queen KittyKat is back!" and they immediatley jumped from their sits and went on to greated me. Darry reached me first, gave me a huge bear hug and spun me around, like I was the brand new toy. Then after almost puking all over the place cause of the nonestop spins, Soda can over and tackled me. And hugged on the floor. Kind of weird but still nice. He messed up with my recently brushed hair and wrestled with me. He even let me say 'Meow' this time. Go me. As for Ponyboy, he told me that if I ever left again he was going to beat me and I was like "Sure kid. But you're still my favourite" with a low whisper and I messed up with his hair this time, since he is pretty short for me. Anyway, after that I took all my things to my room and went to sleep, I was too damn tired for my 'nearly-dead' expirence.

The next morning I woke up at noon. There was no one home just a letter that said "Went to work. Didn't want to wake you up. Enjoy no school today. Don't do anything reckless. Love, Darry." Sigh. He has too little trust on me. Either way, I invited Two-Bit to my place and he catched me up with some news that we were having a rumble later that day and of course, a partay! That made my day, except for the fact that I knew I wouldn't be part of the rumble, which just sucks. Later that day, the whole gang was over at my house and we were discussing the whole rumble thing. I was following Darry around and literally begging for him to let me be part of the rumble but all he said was a big fat 'NO', he didn't even let me give my arguments. "Ponyboy here is going and the kid can barely defend himself." "I don't care, you're not going." "It's because I'm a girl right? Fuck it's because I'm a girl!" And so on and so forth. Steve, Soda, and Two-Bit tried to convince him otherwise but he's hot-head won't let me. That pissed me off. In the end it was Brookie, Blair, Katie, Jamie, Evie, and me alone in the house. I crossed my arms and sat down at in the couch pissed off at the dick face of my brother. Brookie tried to cheer me up saying that she wasn't allowed either but frankly that pissed me off even more. In the end Blair laughed at me and when I asked her why she said "Because you're really stupid for actually doing what Darry tells you. I'm surprised you took his crap and are not there already". That made me think for a sec. Blair was right. I have total right to beat the crap of those socs if I wanted to. I stood up and rushed out of my house towards the parking lot.

The fight had already started but I was there and it was cool. I got there, trying to see how everyone was doing. Carson was doing pretty good, she has never needed help, but when I saw Jells, I immidiatly rushed towards her, just to find myself hit in the face by a douche. I just punched back, in the face and the stomach. I got a soc off Jells back and we both started to beat the crap out of them, until Dallas came in and finished it for us. "Glad to see you here." Jells said. "Glad to be here." And then, thanks to the distraction, two socs punched me from behind and were literally over me. I have never been in a rumble, neither have I ever been jumped, this was a whole new expirence for me, and even though I tried the hardest, trying to get two big guys off me within punchs and kicks wasn't easy. Darry came to my rescue. He was fucking mad, but he let it go. He just told me how to easily knock them out and if the cops got there, beat the hell out of there immediatley, and for the first time he said something I have never heard him say before. "I'm proud of you kid." I looked up at him, not believing my ears. He was proud of me? Of me? How? Why? In the darkness of the confusion I found myself in an atmosphere I was stranger to. It hit me right then and there. I shook the feeling and started to beat the socs up. All the times they had jumped and scared my friends, all the times they had made my life myserable, they were finally paying the price. Nothing could stop me. Without noticing, I was face to face with a guy probably way bigger and stronger than me. But rage and anger took over and I was instantly punching him everywhere, and he did the same. He punched me straight in the nose and almost broke it. Blood was purring all over me. It made me sick and dizzy. I couldn't let it control me. Not again. I was tired of being scared of blood. I shook the feeling and punched the soc so hard in the face that I'm surprised I didn't broke my nuckles. Dallas came over me. "Nice one Kit." He said and took off. I hadn't seen Dawn, but she was there, and she was getting beat up pretty badly. I don't know why I felt like this, but anger was conquering me. I truly HATED those socs. No one beats my best friend but me! Pack of jerks. It was three against one. I tried to take them off her, but it wasn't easy, and one of them slap me in the face saying something along the lines of 'back off bitch'. One of them knocked me out so hard, I hit the floor. Everyting hurted. I couldn't feel anything and I was half unconcious, you can just imagine the pain and the strongness of the punchs and kicks. The next thing I knew was Soda shaking me urgently to wake up. I saw Two-Bit in the distance beating the crap of the same soc that knocked me unconcious. Soon after that, the socs all runned away in their stupid existance and Soda helped me up. Woah, I truly felt like shit, but it felt good nonetheless.

Later that night, we returned to my house for a party in victory. Blair smiled at me when she saw me all covered in blood and gave me a thumps up. I told her it would have been way better if her preggo self could have come. She just looked at me with her 'evil look', joking of course. I went straight to be bathroom to puke my guts off at too much blood, but felt good with myself. Soda and Pony started to get everything ready, while Darry helped me heal the bruises and cuts. He used fucking alcohol! That hurted like shit. I kept yelling and urgen him to stop, and everyone laughed. I couldn't help but laugh at times also. I had a black eye and several cuts and bruises. Made me look so tough. ;) We got music loud and we started to party. Two-Bit brought tons of beer and with 'approval' of Darrel got myself drunk to hell. That felt even better! Missed you my dear friend alcohol. After a some music and a couple of beers later, we started playing a new invented game by Steve. It was called: Beer Ball. I hope the title was self-explanatory. We went outside and took all of our beer bottles, full and empty. Pony took the bat and we started playing the game. The basic idea was, we threw the beer bottled and hit it with the bat. Got ourselves showered in the alcoholic substance and tried to miss the glass pieces of each bottle. We all got our turn and when it was mine, I hit the bottle and instead of breaking it, it was thrown to a tree. Why? I don't know. But anyway, Two-Bit started climbing the tree to get it. It was the funniest thing he has ever done. He was so drunk he couldn't keep his balance. He felt several times and laughed. Then, he couldn't get off, so we had to get him off ourselves. It was funny because between Dallas and Soda they tried to get him off and they couldn't get themselves balanced either. So we let him there until we managed a way to get him off. Sorry Tibby. Anyway, anyone else want to add what happened after that? I just remember the cops driving by cause some apeface (not you guys, the apefaces we got as neighbours) called them cause our music was 'disturbing the peace' and we ran out towards my house, leaving Two-Bit still stuck on a tree. We laughed our heads off because he kept making noises and since the cops couldn't see him got pretty scared and just drive off. So cops are fat, annoying, and stupid. LOL.

The Years Go On... And It's So Weird To Be Back There.

2010-03-09T16:09:00.004-06:00

So I got like a super mega ultra special idea! I decided to start posting too about my memories as a kid. So some posts would be from my point of view when I was younger. It can be 6, 12, 8, 4, etc. You get the point.

I walked towards my room. There was a pink book lying in the night table. I brought with me wherever I went. So peaceful, full of memories and thoughts of a girl. A girl that came to stay. It was decorated with hearts and flowers. At the upper middle was a name written, formed with gemstones that made up each letter. "KitKat" I smiled. I wonder how long I have kept that little pink book. It was my secret place. The only place where I could say just whatever I want the way I wanted. No one looked inside it and it was mine. A piece of something to call mine. There was no one in the house, so I decided to read it. See what I had to say when my life was easier and my worries were about who had the brand new toy. Simply, the thoughts of a child. I turned the cover over and little by little, I began to read the words that filled each page. The time clock went backwards, and suddenly, as if it was by magic, I found myself with only six years. Eleven years I went back in time. Who knew time passed so quickly? Looking at the purple-ink letters, I smiled. I was a kid once again.

Today there was no school. Yay! That made me oh so happy! No school means, spending time with Dawn! And I always like spending time with my BFF. I woke up early to get ready and go to her house. When I stepped into the dinning room, dad was just finishing coffee and was ready to go to work. He's always working. I wished I saw more of him. But it's always fun when he comes home in the night. He takes us to play football or maybe for an ice-cream if he got paid that day. He smiled when he saw me and kissed me on the forehead as he walked out the door and straight to his job. Mom stepped out of the kitchen, holding a plate with pancakes. That made me sad. I don't like pancakes and mom knows that. The why did she made pancakes? She put the plate on the table and called us to come eat breakfast. I had definitley woke up early. Usually, Soda or Darry have to come and wake me up. But not today, because I'm going over to Dawn's and I'm so excited! Pony and Soda raised each other to the table, almost knocking each other as my mom scolded both of them to be careful. I was too sad about the pancakes to laugh at them. "Mom. Why did you make pancakes? I don't like pancakes." I said. Mom turned to look at me just as she was finished serving the food in my brother's plates. She smiled at me and leaned closer. "I know sweetie, that's why I made something special for you." I smiled. I loved how my mommy always gave me special surprises. Pony disagreed. "How come she get's special surprises?" He asked. I rolled my eyes. "Because she's the little princess in the family." I chuckled as Darry kissed me morning and messed with Pony's hair. "Still, not fair." Pony complained.

Later that day, Darry walked with me to Dawn's house. It isn't far away. Actually, they live just a block away or something, but for some reason, mom doesn't like that I wonder around town alone. So either Darry or Soda walk with me. It's kind of sad. Because I love to wonder. But Soda says it has something to do with the kids from the other side of town. The nice side. I tried not to really think about it. The less I think about something, the less complicated it gets. Weird, right? Anyway, Dawn's dad welcomed me as always to their house. I was surprised to see him home, but Dawn explained that her dad now worked in the night so he could spend the day with them. Sometimes, when the night is cold and dark, dad stays late for work, and comes back way later after I already am asleep. That makes me sad. Anyway, I started playing with Dawn Barbie's. Which was so much fun because between Brookie, her, and me, we convinced Johnny to play. I told him that we needed to have a prince charming in the game or our dolls would never get married and have kids. And that just can't be. That was until we got bored, that's when we asked Dawn's dad to take us to the park. He seemed tired, but he agreed anyway. But Johnny refused to go unless we brought Pony. Ugh. The usual tag-along. So we stopped by my house, to get Pony, only to find out that Steve was there with Soda, and they both wanted to come. Sigh. The other tag-alongs. Dawn asked if Darry wanted to come also, and I jut looked at her. "Sure, why don't you invite my parents too?" I said with a bit of sarcasm but with a grin in my face.

At the park, we found out that Dawn's dad had brought some balloons with him, which could only mean one thing. BALLOON FIGHT!!! Yay! We divided into two teams, boys and girls. But we were three girls against five boys, which is like so not fair. But then, Carson was there with a new girl. I think I had seen that girl somewhere before. She had light blonde hair, almost, ALMOST, silver blonde. Car introuduced her as Blair. Blair Matthews. Wasn't she in the first grade with me? I can't remember. Oh wait, I remember now. Blair is that girl that Mrs. Redlock is always yelling at. She makes me laugh. So we invited them over to join the SUPER MEGA ULTRA COOL TEAM OF GIRLS and played against the boys. Between Brookie and Pony, the balloons got filled, while the big kids a.k.a us, started to throw balloons at each other. I was winning. Yay! No one is match for me. But then Darry took me by surprised, and started to hug me, which was like so weird, since we were supposedly fighting. And that's when Soda and Steve came running holding a hose and started to get me wet. Dawn came to my rescue but Johnny helped Darry hold her. I was probably screaming and then Blair and Carson managed to get the hose from Soda and Steve and started to get them wet. Meanwhile, I was still in Darry's arms and couldn't get off.

That lasted the whole day until we were like soaking wet and really needed to go change, otherwise we could get wet. When I got to my house I asked mom permission to invite Dawn, Car, and Blair over, I wanted to introuduce her the new girl and get to know her. As always, mom wans't so sure, but dad was there, and he just smiled and convinced mom. I don't know how he does it, but every time dad smiles mom acts somehow stupid and just says 'yes' to everything. Darry says its love but what is love? As far as I know, that's the word mom and dad use when we get grounded 'I do it because I love you'. If that's the case, I don't want anyone to love me.

I closed the book and smiled at myself. Me and my crazy thinking. I woke up from the memory to find myself eleven years later. A seventeen year-old girl. Who knew so much could change in so little time?

Girls Vs. Boys

2010-03-06T13:33:00.004-06:00

I'm better now. Not depressed anymore or sad. I'm happy! Yay!!! I guess it was the stupid adolescent hormones that fuck with my head that get my emotions all mixed up. As you may know, I'm in Cali. And I'm only writting this 'cause the other day Dallas was surprised I said I wasn't in Tulsa. Guess he missed the whole kidnapping Carson and taking her to California. So just a friendly reminder. So anyway. My days here in California have been more than jus great. They have been so freaking awsome! I had been laughing my ass off at all the randomness the Matthews and Car have given me. We are pretty messed up.

But anyway, I'm here to tell you a story. A story that will change your lives forever. Haha, just kidding. I go so easily with the mood. So I figure you all read the title? If you didn't, get your lazy ass to scroll up and oh, look, there it is. Yeah. READ PEOPLE! READ!!! It won't kill you. Well, it can, but I'm not going over all that. Yeah... So anyway, again, yesterday night I was with Two-Bit, sitting on the bed we share, watching a movie under the same blankie. EATING NON-BURNED POPCORN! It took us 100 tries and 25 bags but we finally got them right. What movie we were watching? None the less than.... Drum roll please. -drum roll- GREASE! Yeah baby, GREASE! "Grease is the word, is the word that you heard. It's got groove, it's got meaning. Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion. Grease is the way you are feeling." So after seeing the whole 110 minutes of it and singing every freaking song, we started talking. And somehow the topic of whose better, a girl or a boy, popped up. And of course, we both were on different teams. But the argument started kind of getting into a fight, until we did something totally unexpected. We started to sign! LOL!

Kitty: Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.
Two-Bit: No, you can't.
Kitty: Yes, I can.
Two-Bit: No, you can't.
Kitty: Yes, I can. Yes, I can!
Two-Bit: Anything you can be I can be greater. Sooner or later I'm greater than you.
Kitty: No, you're not.
Two-Bit: Yes, I am.
Kitty: No, you're NOT.
Two-Bit: Yes, I am. Yes, I am! I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge.
Kitty: I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow.
Two-Bit: I can live on bread and cheese.
Kitty: And only on that?
Two-Bit: Yes.
Kitty: So can a rat! Any note you can reach I can go higher. I can sing anything higher than you.
Two-Bit: No, you can't. (High)
Kitty: Yes, I can. (Higher)
Two-Bit: No, you can't. (High)
Kitty: YES, I CAN! (Highest) Anything you can buy I can buy cheaper. I can buy anything cheaper than you.
Two-Bit: Fifty cents?
Kitty: Forty cents!
Two-Bit: Thirty cents?
Kitty: Twenty cents!
Two-Bit: No, you can't!
Kitty: Yes, I can. Yes, I can! Anything you can say I can say softer. I can say anything softer than you.
Two-Bit: No, you can't. (Softly)
Kitty: Yes, I can. (Softer)
Two-Bit: No, you can't. (Softer)
Kitty: Yes, I can. (Softer) YES, I CAN (Full volume)
Two-Bit: I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.
Kitty: I can drink it quicker and get even sicker!
Two-Bit: I can open any safe.
Kitty: Without bein' caught?
Two-Bit: Sure.
Kitty: That's what I though-- you crook!
Two-Bit: Any note you can hold I can hold longer. I can hold any note longer than you.
Kitty: No, you can't.
Two-Bit: Yes, I can.
Kitty: No, you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't.
Two-Bit: Yes, I caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
Kitty: No, you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't! Anything you can wear I can wear better. In what you wear I'd look better than you.
Two-Bit: In my coat?
Kitty: In your vest!
Two-Bit: In my shoes?
Kitty: In your hat!
Two-Bit: No, you can't!
Kitty: Yes, I CAN!
Two-Bit: Anything you say I can say faster. I can say anything faster than you.
Kitty: No, you can't. (Fast)
Two-Bit: Yes, I can. (Faster)
Kitty: Noyoucan't. (Faster)
Two-Bit: YesIcan! (Fastest) I can jump a hurdle.
Kitty: I can wear a girdle.
Two-Bit: I can knit a sweater.
Kitty: I can fill it better!
Two-Bit: I can do most anything!
Kitty: Can you bake a pie?
Two-Bit: No.
Kitty: Neither can I. Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter. I can sing anything sweeter than you.
Two-Bit: No, you can't. (Sweetly)
Kitty: Yes, I can. (Sweeter)
Two-Bit: No, you can't. (Sweeter)
Kitty: Yes, I can, can, can! (Sugary)

So there you have it kiddos. This is how we argue. Pretty random don't you think? I think Blair and Carson are going to send us to sleep outside or something. Who do you think is better? Girls or boys? Why or why not? Haha I feel like an English teacher right now. Comment!

The World To Me

2010-03-04T15:37:00.006-06:00

The World To Me

by Two-Bit Matthews

She is just a girl, I'm just a guy.
Two people nonexistant to the world.
But I hoped, I dreamed, I meant the world to her.

Grew up in the same neighborhood.
Became like brother and sister.
I never would have thought,
That between those laughs, jokes, talks, and fights,
I would fall in love.

Still, I never dared say.
I didn't want to ruin our friendship.
We were only 12 and 14.
Young and carefree.
We shared jokes and laughs and that smile made me melt.

She is just a girl, I'm just a guy.
Two people nonexistant to the world.
But I hoped, I dreamed, I meant the world to her.

And we grew up together.
I saw her heart be taken by another guy.
And though I didn't realize it at the time.
I wanted to beat that boy's guts.

She was there when I needed her even if I didn't know.
She had always a smile for me and a shoulder to lean on.
Ups and downs, it didn't matter.
So many times I wished I could dare say.

She is just a girl, I'm just a guy.
Two people nonexistant to the world.
But I hoped, I dreamed, I meant the world to her.

And one day, I couldn't take it anymore.
Her heart was crashed by some jerk.
There wasn't one single tear in her eyes, but her sadness was the same.
That's when I finally gave in and told her the truth.

Now she belongs to me.
Her heart rests in my palm.
One night she looked up at me,
And with her blue-eyed voice, she said:
"You mean the world to me."

Two-Bit Matthews a romantic. Who would have known? There you go kiddos. Believe it! He managed to put in words to sentences. I'm so proud. Haha. Did you notice the colour font was Navy? Haha, can't get enough of it. ;)

Dedicated To Sodapop

2010-03-01T22:16:00.003-06:00

Today I woke up. Survived. Went back to bed.

Stop The Word! I Want To Get Off!

2010-02-27T20:56:00.005-06:00

I'm angry at the world. I'm annoyed by the world. I'm pissed of at the world. And that means, pissed off at everything that makes up the world. You don't need to know why. I'm pretty sure you don't even care why, as long as it doesn't affect your lovely little bubble, everything can go to hell. Don't even bother asking, I'm not telling why. You already know. Life is a series of events, and mine have just been a series of unfortunate ones. Except certain exceptions that have make it a little bit brighter. I'm still trying to figure out the exact moment my life turn to a living hell. I just realize, I don't smile that much, or am as happy-go-lucky as I used to be. So what? There is nothing that worth making me happy again. I just got to stick to the fucking consequences and live as a different person.

I don't think I'm ever going back to Tulsa. Well, I don't want to go back to Tulsa. Luck isn't going to smile at me, so I'll have to eventually go back. I don't want to run away like some of you did, simply because I know that is not the way to deal with my problems. They are going to finally catch up with me. I seriously can't wait for them to finally do. I want out. Maybe it's true. Maybe all I want with this post is some fucking attention. But what's so wrong about that? Maybe I just want someone to hug me forever and say "we love you Kitty, you're important to us" but I know I'm the only one that truly believes that. Over the past few weeks, maybe months, I felt more alone than just being alone. Maybe that's the reason I done some pretty fucking things. I know my stupid problems aren't as bad as others, but they are hurting me, and maybe, just maybe, this time it's about me. Repeating. What's so wrong about that? I haven't done something truly special for me in years. Ever since my parents died I given so many things to bong my family closer. I have make so many sacrifizes that I bet you don't even know about. And you don't need to know about them, because I don't need someone to recognize my efforts so it would make me feel better. I just need someone to pay attention to me once in a while.

I don't know where my life is going to go, or what I want to do with it. I don't even know if I want to find out, but right now I just want to hide under a rock and not go out. Yes, I'm in California, and I'm with Two-Bit, and I love him very much, more than he will ever know, and I'm not breaking up with him or anything, I want to stay with him forever, but right now, I want to be alone. Alone. In all the sense of the word. I don't want you to feel bad for me. I just want... I don't know what I want, but I want something. Pretty messed up huh? There isn't anything left that I really want to say. This is just how I feel and I hope at least some of you will understand.

I Knew That It Was Now Or Never

2010-02-22T18:24:00.005-06:00

There is so much that's been going on this week. So much to catch up with. So much to understand. So much to decide. I'm gonna start since the beginning of last week. Monday, February 15, 2010. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any more messed up, it did. I found out, well, I was reminded on Sunday, about my little you-know-what thing with Steve. Yeah... I felt horrible, because I had made a commitment with a boy, and I had broken it, when I had promised myself I wouldn't. You'd think I would someday learn. That morning I had a lot of trouble waking up. I just wanted to hide under my blankies and never face the world. But they wouldn't let me. And by 'they' I mean the guys. I tried everything! I even faked chickenpocks and the flu, nothing worked! I sighed and got ready for school. There was chocolate cake for breakfast, but I was too sick to eat, I just wanted to go through with the day. At school, Mark was waiting for me at the door. He had his usual grin and beautifully combed hair. I hated myself for being the one that would take that grin away. He smiled when he looked at me, I wondered if I even deserved that smile, and he was holding a Valentine's card and a silvery bracelet. I gulped. I wanted to die. I looked around, begging for some mysterious force to just suck me down into the deepest layers of the earth. When I reached him, he kissed me on the cheek, I didn't move, and I think he noticed. I don't know what he saw in my face. Was it fear? Was it pain? Dissapointment? Anger? Whatever it was, I was glad he couldn't say anything, and the bell rang. I raced to my classroom, thanking for once in the whole semester that I didn't have first period with him. The day passed as any other day passed. I tried to avoid Mark as much as I could, until finally, when the day ended, I couldn't hide anymore. He asked me if I was ok, because obviously I was about to lose it. I said I was fine, just girl stuff, nothing to be worried off. He took out his card and the bracelet, and I felt a huge punch on my stomach. He said that maybe that could make me feel better, until I stared into his eyes and told him to save it. The next ten minutes were the worst and hardest ten minutes I had in my entire life. I explained everything. And for once, the truth didn't set me free, it just held me prisioner of my own actions. "I think we should take a break." That was the only thing he said. I'm not even going to translate that, because you can obviously get what it means. I dragged myself home, promesing to never leave it again. You can just imagine how many words I said to myself. I think I completely remade my entire personal vocabulary. Anyway, once at home, the gang was over for a hang out. Since I felt in a deep need for a hug and some laughter, I stayed with them. Then, I told Soda everything. He seemed indifferent, but I didn't care, I just needed to share it with someone, and he was the closest to me. What happened next was totally unplanned, and accident of fate, a little event part of life's perfect plan. Two-Bit shared with us that he had a crush on a girl of the gang, and being the curious cat that I am, I wanted to know. We finally got it out of him, and his answer was everything that I had never imagined. He liked me! Me! Two-Bit Matthews had a crush of me KitKat Curtis! I think my jaw dropped cause the boys started laughing. I never realized how much I like him until he finally said it. I mean, I was twelve when I developed this insane crush on him, that thanks to Soda, now everyone knows off. I told him I liked him too, and no surprised he asked me to be his girlfriend. Well, that totally made my day brighter.

And then, the week continued to go by, until the gang made me spend a day with Pony because they were sick and tired of us fitting. Well, you know everything thanks to Pony. I think we even fought about which side the freaking fly was going. For a moment I thought we were going to kill each other. We started to calm down as the day went by, and it came a time in which we opened up to each other. I told him all my deepest secrets that no one, and I mean no one, not even Dawn knew. I found out things about him that I didn't know. Now it's my time to tell the world Pony, muahahaha. I found out that Pony is scared of ants because we once saw this movie about a girl that gets stuck in a desert and wild ants eat her alive. Gross. That once he dressed up like a girl because he wanted to know how it felt like and Dad gave him a speech about his gender. That once after he asked mom and dad were babies came from and dad told him "when a boy and a girl love each other very much, they have a baby" he got scared of loving mom because then, he would have tons of siblings. LOL. AND.... that I was his favourite sister, which is kind of ironic cause I'm his only sister, but whatever.

And the week kept on going by. Two-Bit came to my house on Thursday -I had to move back home 'cause now that we were dating I couldn't stay with him, pfft- and we hang out. We watched a movie under the same blanket and made some popcorn, they were burn, but he didn't mind and I was already used to it. Then, after the movie ended he told me he was going with Blair and Car to California after Car's birthday. You can just imagine how I felt. My heart dropped. He wanted me to go with him, but I couldn't just leave, I had school and all. He told me I could think about it and I did. That night I tossed and turn in my bed trying to figure out what to do. Do the right thing, or be reckless and don't give a damn and go with him. It was a tough decision mainly because of one thing. I was graduating that year and hopefully getting an scholarship for collage, I couldn't just throw all that away. After Two-Bit's party for Car, I decided to go with him, but just wait for me 'cause Darry's birthday was on Sunday. What is it with everyone having a birthday this months? Am I the only weirdo who turns 18 in November?! For his birthday, I got him a motorcycle shirt that I had so much fun with Dawn picking it up. He said he didn't want a party, but we didn't listen to him and threw it anyway. On my behalf, I didn't touch a drop of alcohol the whole evening! Personal record.

And now I'm California, with Two-Bit, Blair, and Car. I told my brothers about this like fifteen minutes before we started the car to go. Of course they said they didn't approve but I told them I was going either way. They couldn't do anything but just hug me goodbye and I told them I'd be home soon, although I'm not sure about that. Anyway, during the trip, Darry called me to tell me that mom and dad might still be alive. It must have been the look on my face, 'cause Two-Bit who was sitting next to me asked me if everything was alright. I couldn't believe Darrel. I mean, I was sober and I don't remember that happening. And besides, mom and dad died like two years or so ago, we saw them buried at the funeral!!! I just can't believe that they are alive. I want to, but I can't. Sorry. Despite that, I had been having so much fun with this three insane people. Just the fun I needed. We will be back for Soda's wedding, so hang on people, don't miss me.

A Gun And A Pack Of Sandwiches

2010-02-14T19:24:00.004-06:00

I bet you're all wondering just where the hell Brookie and I am. Don't worry. She's fine. We both are.

To start this story, let's go back a few days ago, shall we? As most of you know, Ponyboy and I had an argument. Ok fine, a strong argument. I want to apologize to you Pony, I said things I shouldn't and I know that I can't take them back, but I wish I could. I was kind of sentimental and well, anything could have gotten me mad that day, and I know that is not an excuse, so I'm sorry. It isn't easy for me to apologize, but there it is. I'm sucking up all my stupid pride and saying it. Anyway, Ponyboy got all mad and decided to go to Texas, which, if I'm being honest, I got to say that was the most dramatic and stupid thing for you to do, but I guess I'm not in the position to be judgemental, since I also did some pretty shitty and stupid things this week. After the fight, the last thing I wanted to do was stay at my own house. The last thing I wanted to do was see my brothers and/or the gang. So I stayed over at Talan's for the night. He was surprised to see me there. He asked if everything was ok, since I probably looked like shit. But I wasn't crying. Maybe I was about to, but I wasn't. He got me a bed and stayed with me all night. I still can't figure out why I decided to stay with him and not with Mark. I mean, Talan's just my best friend, and Mark is my boyfriend. I dunno. He hugged me and held me close. He rubbed my shoulder saying everything would be ok. But I hadn't told him what had happened so I wasn't sure he meant it. Talan is an only child. He belongs to the upper middle class. His parents are really nice, they remainded me of mine. His mum showed so much careness for me, and for the first time in a long time, I really missed mine. I wish she was still alive, and dad too. But they aren't. When they died, I didn't cry. I just pretended they were on a trip and they would come back someday. I tried so much to not let it bother me. For the first days it was really difficult, but when you get used to not letting things bother you, when you're used to being alone, you start believing it. Being with Talan's family made me realize that, it does hurt. Everything. That it's ok, everything hurts, and there is nothing bad about it. It's part of being human. I was so touchy that day, I'm surprised my asshole self didn't lose it. It was nice to have the comfort. I owe them so much. When I told Talan everything that happened, even the stripper thing, he wasn't mad or angry, which only made me feel worse. Like he already expected that from me. I looked over at his eyes and he promised he would help me. I couldn't quite figure just what he wanted to help me with, but I didn't ask him. I was too tired and sad to ask. And soon enough, I felt asleep, in his arms.

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual, and I mean really earlier. The ones who know me know that I usually wake up on the weekend like at noon, but that day, I woke up probably around 7:30. His mother greeted me with homemade pancakes, and it felt nice. I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't hide forever. And I had to get home, or Darry would probably think I run away too. When I got to my house, Darry was making breakfast and Soda was with Katie waiting in the living room. I didn't look at neither of them, I just made my way to my room, but before I could get there, Darry took me by the arm and dragged me all the way to the kitchen. Katie excused herself and went over to her room with Jamie, and Soda joined us. Darry looked furious, and I looked scared. I had two things on my mind. Either he was mad because I didn't come home tonight and he knew about my fight with Pony, or he was mad because of the whole stripper thing. It was both. Shit. "What the fucking hell where you thinking KitKat! Not only was that the stupiest thing to do, but do you think I like my sister being a whore?! You're quitting that job right now, better off, we'll come with you and you're never, and mark my words, never in what's left of your life going to that fucking place again! And you're banned forever from alcohol!" I just looked down. If words could kill, I would have already been dead. I didn't say anything, and by the way he screamed at me, I thought he was going to hit me. And I wouldn't have mind him hitting me. Actually, I would have minded very much if that had been the only thing he had done to me. He didn't even say anything about Pony, he just said I was grounded for eternity plus one. Then, after breakfast, Soda and him took me to Buck's to make me quit. It wasn't a pretty scene, but I did what I was told. I have never been so ashamed in my entire life. I think I'm just going to hide for the rest of my life.

After I while, I tried to call Pony to apologized, and when I was finally able to reach him, I told him I was coming over to pick him up. I called Talan and asked him for his car. I didn't tell Darry or Soda. I bet they are going to kill me when I get home. But I don't care. I deserve it. I made a stop at the Cade's because I thought Brooke might want to come. And she did, without Johnny's permission. It isn't her fault. It is all mine and it is all mine responsibility. If anyone has an issue, you can all blame me. She's fine though. I'm taking good care of her. So we made our way to Dallas, Texas. It was a long trip, and it was dark when we got there. I started to look all over bars for Pony, since he told me that was where he worked. You can't imagine just how many freaking bars there are in Dallas. I mean, a city the twice the size of Tulsa, and it has two freaking bars together. Seriously. That night, we slept on the car, since we couldn't afford a room. I apologized to Brooke that I couldn't get her a bed to spend the night, but she kept saying that it didn't matter. I kept saying that it did. Then, it was Valentine's Day. I didn't mind spending it alone, but I was determined to find Pony so he could spend it with Brooke. It took us over five hours to finally find him. He turned out to work at the last bar in my list. Fuck life.

I only said one word to Pony on our way back. And that was "I'm sorry". I didn't think I deserved to talk to him. Brooklyn and him looked so cute together and I was glad they could spend the day together. I got messeages from Mark all the way, but I didn't answer any. I was too depressed and sad to. Finally, we arrived at Tulsa, and I took Brookie over to spend what was left of the day with Pony. When I got home, I was surprised Darry didn't yell at me, but I figured it was expressed all over my eyes that I was too scared and sad, so Soda told him to just lay off. I went to my room and tried to reach Mark, to at least tell him Happy Valentine's Day, since his stupid girlfriend didn't spend it with him. It took me over an hour to finally reach him. He didn't scream at me, but he did scoll me. Well, kinda. He told me he had been worried sick because out of nowhere I go missing. No phone calls, no texts, no nothing. He wished me Happy Valentine's Day and I apologized for ruining his day. He said that it didn't matter, he told me that we could still spend the day together, but I told him I couldn't, since I wasn't allowed to leave the house, and that's when I told him why I had gone missing. He didn't say it, but I'm sure I screwed whatever he had planned for me. I ran out of apologies. He hang up, saying he had to go to sleep and hopefully we'll see each other tomorrow. I hang up and then I said I loved him. I guess life does have a way to turn its back on you. Maybe tomorrow'll be another day. Hopefully.

Seems As If It Had Been Yesteday

2010-02-07T16:35:00.007-06:00

So I was cleaning up my room today when I came through with a old photo album forgotten with time and wrapped in a thin cover of dust. I sat down and started browsing through it, and what I found were pictures of us when we were little. I thought I'd share them with you.

Brookie Cookie

Jamie

Pony

DC

Car

JCake

KittyKat

Jell-O

Blairinator

Sodapop

Stevealicious

Dallas

Two-Bit

Darrbear

A Contest I'm Pretty Sure No One Would Want To Be Part Of

2010-02-02T20:18:00.004-06:00

So today Blair, Car, and Dawn came over to my house to hang and to disscuss Dawn's romantic issues. I'm so exited about this. You know, setting up a friend with the boy he likes. Now I know why Jamie does it so much. I got Tony's schedule from a friend and we started to make arrangements so it would match almost perfectly to Dawn's schedule. We didn't want to make it the same, since it would be pretty obvious and well, we wanted to be as casual as possible. So after the proper arrangements were done, I went over to my friend's house so he would do the rest, and then came back. So we were four girls, a house to ourselves, and nothing more than endess possibilities... We decided to see a movie, since there wasn't anything more to do. Until I suggested we made some popcorn. No surprise, Dawn and Car stood in front of the kitchen door refusing to let me use it. I don't always burn popcorn ya know. But then, Blair came into my defense, and the alliance soon turned into rivalry. She started going about how she was a much worst cook than myself and I protested saying that I was an even worst cook. It started as mere modesty, but then it turned into a game. As you know, I am quite competitive, so this couldn't end good. We finally agreed that the only way to determine who defenetly suck at cooking was by a contest. You should've seen the looks in DC and Car's faces. I called the rest of the gang to come be witnesses. Of course we didn't say why, they would have never comed otherwise, so we just said there was a hang out here and that they should come.

When the gang came over and DC told them to run, Two-Bit decided to make this interesting and I'm quoting: "I might regret it but ok." He set up some rules. Rule number one: We must used the ingredients INSIDE the recipe. No improvising. Number two: Don't place anything that might be considered 'poisenous'. Number three: Don't do the recipe backwards just to 'see what happens'. (That was my plan.) And number four: The contestants as well as the judges must taste the food. I think they all protested at that, but Two-Bit said it was the only way to determine the winner. We did a bunch of recepies my mom had. It was pretty hilarious. They were all very nervous. Like we were about to kill them. Hehe. I don't blame them though. We took absolutely EVERYTHING that was in the kitchen. Darry was not pleased with having to go get groceries again for the week, but he'll get over it. We did three recipes, the same ones for each of us, to make it 'fair'. At the end everyone took their time to taste them, even ourselves. I think they are going to kill us sometime soon. I still think I'm an even worse cook than Blair, even after tasting her 'meals', but that's up to you to decide. What do you guys think? Who won?

How Do You Do The Things That You Do?

2010-01-30T13:15:00.005-06:00

So after one really weird and kind of dramatic weekend, Sodapop My Hero Curtis, decided to throw a party at our house. It was totally what I need it. First of all, Blair took me to one on Thursday because well, I was (still am) feeling guilty for blowing Johnny off, we went to Buck's and Blair can tell you this, I didn't enjoy it. So we headed back home early. Friday was, well, as any other day could go. I spend the whole time saying, only *insert number of school days left here*. Brookie spend the whole time practically doing the happy dance and I could only know why. Aw. I went directly home to take a nap before the party. I know, that's all I do, but whatever. Anyway, I woke up and got ready. I put on a white blouse, a pair of jeans, and since I already got my heels back, yay!!!!, I put them on too! Then, I just turn my hair into a ponytail and simple makeup. I spend a whole deal of time trying to figure out if I should invite Mark or not. You know, after what happened with Johnny, I didn't want to give him a hard time. But Dawn finally convinced me that I should. Love you chica. And so, before the party started, I went to pick him up. He doesn't live that far from my house, actually we live in the same neighbourhood, but he has never been at my house and well, I wanted to spend some alone time with him, since, I know I wouldn't get much of it at the party. So we stay outside for quite some time. We just walked around the neighbourhood. Until I realized I had a party going on at my house. We challenged each other to the door, and let me tell you, he is pretty fast, but not fast enough for me, well a little, anyway, we ended up bumping into my door since we didn't want to draw. That caused the whole gang to look at us with weird looks on their faces and I think it was Two-Bit who said: "What on earth were you two doing?" Followed by one of his usual comments. So we stood up and introuducced Mark to the gang. Sigh. The boys, except Johnny, all interrogated him! I was so embarrassed and Darry and Pony weren't even there! Guys, I want him to stick around you know. So we started partying pretty much until it started to snow! Snow people, snow! Then, the phone rang and Sodapop asked me if I could go and pick Brookie and Ponyboy up at school. I didn't really mind, but it was really annoying driving in snow. But whatever for you two kiddos. I took out my heels and put on some converse and a jacket and got out. I told Mark to stay and he looked at me with a look that clearly said: "Don't leave me." But I laughed and warned the guys. "I want him alive when I get home." When I got to school, I saw Brookie and Ponyboy waiting. Pony had placed his jacket on Brookie and had his arm around her. Aw cuties. I touched my heart and refrained from making comments about it to my little brother. We were back home ten minutes later. Then, I just called Mark out and we had a snowball fight. Which was really fun. It was so damn cold too. That was until we really couldn't take it anymore. We ran again to my door and before I reached for the doorknob, he grabbed my arm towards him. We stood there in front of my house, staring at each other. He took a leave from the ground and place it on top of us. "Look, mistletoe." He said and I laughed. "That's not mistletoe dummy." He smiled and took my hand. "Well, we'll just have to pretend it it." And we kissed. And the peeping toms from inside opened the door. Thanks guys. Really.

Anyway, we started to play a weird game Soda brought up called "Just Rolling Through" or something like that. We had to pass an apple through a guys legs. A-W-K-A-R-D. We teamed up boys and girls, and when it was finally my turn, Mark and I did something else. I took the apple with my mouth and instead of passing it through Mark's pants, I placed it in his mouth. No hands. And he started eating it, and so did I. We are very competitive. We were seeing who ate the apple the fastest and almost ended up choking! Everyone was kind of looking at us weird and laughed. What can I say? I'm just different. We had to find another apple for the game to continue. Sodapop and Katie won, it was hilarious to see them. I was like: "Katie you can just take his pants off, I don't think he'll mind." Before I continue, I just like to say on my behalf that, I wasn't that drunk! I just drank like three bottle of beers. Not much. Well, not much compared to before. And then, we have a dance off, and this time I so won!!! No one is match for my moves. Then, we continued to do more partying. Honestly, I tried to avoid Johnny the whole party, even though I'm pretty sure he did the same. I think he was talking about me with Soda, but I don't think he really listen. What a pal Sodapop! I spend the rest of the evening playing, chatting, and snogging Mark and catching up with Jell-O Winston! Miss you girl. And, then, we fall asleep, and by 'we' I mean Mark and I. Who else? There was hardly any place left in the floor, so we just slept on one of my brother's room. Dunno which. And just slept. Nothing more people. Don't get your hopes up.

I Was Dumb, And Stupid, And I Let You Down

2010-01-24T20:29:00.006-06:00

Do you think that if I killed myself, anyone would miss me? I know I wouldn't. I'm such a horrible person. Here goes the whole dramatic monologue. Seriously, why do I keep hurting the people around me? So today Johnny expressed his true feelings for me. Saying that that was like a bombshell over me doesn't even begin to describe what I felt that moment. I was confused and surprise beyond imagination. I don't blame him though. I mean, I know how I look like and all that, but still, me? Me?! I was shocked. I couldn't speak. I forgot how to speak! Me, KitKat Sarah Curtis, forgot how to speak. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. God I really didn't. But what else could I have done? Yes, I was curious to know who his and Ponyboy's crush was, but I never, in my dreams thought it would be me. I guess I could have lied and tell him I loved him back but that would it have truly made us happy? Maybe. I don't know. God I'm such an idiot. I need a pillow right now. Just sink my head and scream. Johnny I really didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm truly sorry. I feel horrible. I wouldn't blame you if you hate me. Gosh, I think I would never see you again. I bet you would love to avoid me the rest of your life. Anyway, after we talked, and basically crushed Johnny's heart, I went to my hotel room, straight there, I don't want to talk to anyone. I'll go see Carson later, when everyone is gone. I'm just going to lock myself in the closet and die.

Three Simple Words

2010-01-20T20:09:00.005-06:00

I'm scared. For the first time in all my life I want to lay on my bed and cry. Yeah cry. For the first time I want to hug someone and just lose it. The truth is, I don't feel loved. I know what you're thinking, you got Mark and your new best friend Talan and us. But the truth is, even in a group full of people, I feel more alone than ever. What's happening to me, I cannot tell. I don't like when the gang fights between themselves. This whole Pony and Johnny thing, well, its tearing me apart inside. The other day, as you may know, I took Pony over to Johnny's and Brooke's apartment so he could sort this whole thing out. He said Johnny wasn't home, but I didn't believe him. It was written in his eyes. He was hurt, and so was I, but I didn't know, not at that moment. I asked him if he knew I loved him, but he just moved his head up and down. I wanted him to say it back. It's been a while since someone said that to me. And the truth is, I really do need the words. My brothers, well, they assume I know, and yeah, I do know they love me, but to hear it, that just brightens my day. You all want to know why I used to get drunk all the time? It's not entirely true that it helps me forget I'm a greaser. I'm ok with that, I don't really mind. The truth is, when I get drunk, I don't feel. So it doesn't matter if no one has said 'I love you' in a while. I just forget. But now that I had stopped drinking, well, I feel, 'cause KitKat Curtis does have feelings, in case many of you didn't know.

I know I'm probably boring you with this whole thing. But it was something I really needed to get off my chest. I need a hug right now, so desperately. And a shoulder that would understand. I feel like I'm there for everyone, but no one is there for me. It's not that I do things expecting the same in return but a little sign of caring is nice every once in a while. Johnny, I'm not mad at you. Like I'm not mad at Pony. I understand you, somehow. Don't be mad at him guys. Please, do it for me. I had a pretty shitty week as it is. I can't stand seeing the whole gang falling apart. We are family and family sticks together and family loves each other. There's a tear rolling down my eyes. All I want is to know someone out there loves me. It does sound pretty dramatic when you listen to it again. And maybe it's not the time to say it, taking into consideration what's been happening around me. But I have had it inside me for so long and before I do something stupid, because I don't want Blair killing me again, and as Carson said, I'm not letting things bottled up.

Pony, I don't mind that you're not sleeping at our house. You need to your time, I understand. Just know, I love you no matter what, even though you sometimes don't. Soda, I'm sorry I was a jerk with you the other day. I let my anger take over me and yelled at you. Sorry. I apologize for blaming you for all the shitty stuff that would come out of this pregnancy. You don't deserve it. You are a great brother. Tell Katie I look forward to spend more time with her and making her one of my best friends. I'm here for you whenever you need me. Darry, eventhough we don't agree on much you have showed me true strengh. Keeping things together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart. I love you and wish the best for you in Colleage. I've gotten a part-time job, so I can help you with the bills. You have hold me up for so many years, it's my time to pay you back. Sigh. I guess I'm really messed up aren't I?

You're So Good To Me, Baby.

2010-01-16T00:03:00.009-06:00

So today I had a pretty great night, scratch that, I had an amazing night! In every aspect of the word. So you all remember how Jamie hook me up with one of her boyfriend's friends right? Well, let's just say that I am eternally grateful to her. Love ya, Jamie! After school I was kind of excited. Not that much, because I had a lot of things on my mind. A lot of drama going on in my life and a date with a guy I didn't know, didn't exactly clear my mind about things. I went home alone, for Ponyboy was still talking to his teachers about making up the work he missed, or something between the lines of that. At home, all I wanted to do was lie down on the bed and sleep. And, believe it or not, that's what I did. You can guess what my exciment and eagerness level was. I'm not sure when I finally fell asleep, but I did, until Sodapop came into the room to wake me up saying that Jamie had called to remind me of hanging out with her and Andrew tonight. I got up, without complain and took a quick shower to finally wake me up. (Yes I did bring my towel with me. After the perveric scene with Ponyboy, I will never forget.) You wouldn't believe how long it took me to get ready. And it wasn't really that much. I put on a red blouse, a pair of jeans, and my mom's heels. Which remainds me: "Blair you NEED to return me my black high heels! Or else..." I waved my hair and with a long sigh and a deep breath, headed for the door, however, not without a talk with the boys. Sigh. The boys. Darry pulled me to the kitchen and with Soda and Pony at his side, he gave me "the talk". I guess older brothers ARE the same everywhere. You can just imagine what he said. The same babbling stuff every girl gets, but what I said took me out of guard. "Darry," I started. My voice broke up. I was struggling with the words. Like I wanted to say something but at the same time, I didn't. "I'm, I'm scared." Awwww. Yep people. KitKat Curtis is scared of a romantic relationship. Now the world is really spinning out of control. Darry smiled. One of those warm smiles I had never seen him do. He got closer and hugged me, well, make that a group hug. "Guys, can't breath." Did I mention I was in the middle? Yeah, not good. They let go, remembering I was a girl and I chuckled. The way to Andrew's place was longer than I had expected. Jamie, piece of advice, when you're giving directions to someone else, make sure they are clear. I was wondering around his neighbourhood for twenty minutes, trying to find which was his house.

But when I finally got it right, I was not dissapointed with what I saw. I rang the doorbell and Andrew, well I figured he was Andrew, open the door and smiled at me. "You must be Kitty? Right?" Kitty? Kitty? Did he just called me a cat? Miau. "KitKat." I said. "Or Kit, KittyKat, or Curtis, or a bunch of more nicknames but I'm sure we can leave that to another occation." I said. Jamie walked towards us and winked at me when she saw me. "Well, as you know this is Andrew and this guy over here....." She lead me towards Mark, who was sitting in a couch but stood up at my sight. "Is Mark. Your date." She said. I looked over to Mark. God I felt awkard. Really awkard. Mark took a step closer to me. Yay, he was tall. "Hey, I'm KitKat Curtis. Jamie's friend." I said. For the first time in all my life, I wasn't sure what to say. The world was really spinning out of control. Mark smiled. "Yeah I know. Jamie here told me all about you." I smiled and turn to look at Jamie. "She did huh? All bad I hope." I turned to look at Mark. "And all true." Jamie called from where she was standing. We laughed. Yay for the awkardness. Note: If you ever want to have me speechless, hook me up with some guy I don't know and tell me it's a date. That would probably come in handy for my brothers. Anyway, we stood like that for some long five minutes. I'm not sure about Mark, but I was fighting with myself trying to get my charismatic traits to work and establish conversation. "Hey love birds, the movie is tonight." Someone, I'm not sure who it was, either Andrew or Jamie, called from the front door. "You know what. I think it would be a better idea if Kit and I stayed here." Mark said with a cheerful voice. I turned to look at him, now being my usual self. "Well, this is a monarchy and I rule. So let's go to that movie because I say so." I said smiling. He chuckled. "As you wish my Queen." I grabbed him by the arm and followed Andrew and Jamie. The movie was one word. Dull. But it was the only one they were playing, so we went in. But it wasn't that bad. At least it wasn't for me. Mark kept me laughing all the movie. Actually, while Andrew and Jamie were kissing, that's what we did, laugh. Until it came a time that a guard had to get us out of the room because we were 'disrupting' the entertainment. Whatever. Still, that didn't stop us. Even outside, we kept on laughing and laughing and laughing. When the movie ended and Andrew and Jamie catched up with us -I don't think they even noticed we were kicked out. They were so into themselves- we went for some pizza. And kept laughing. Jamie and Andrew kept looking at us as if we were cuckoo. I think we annoyed them a little, but hey, it was better than making out and totally ignoring the other couple. But we got them into our conversation so it was all well. Finally, we said good-bye to Andrew and Jamie, and went out way.

We weren't sure were to go, so we just wandered around town, trying to stay as close as possible to our side of town, since I wasn't up to beat someone tonight or have to see Mark do the same. We were walking through a park, when I suddenly felt like being a kid once more. There was a rocket ship there. A red nose points to the sky. Metal bars run from the nose all the way down to blue fins holding the ship off the ground. Between the nose and the finds are three platforms, connected by three ladders. On the top level is a steering wheel. On the mid level is a slide that leads down to the playground, or what's left of the playground. "Try to catch me." I poked Mark and ran towards the rocket. Through one of the three ladders I climbed up to the upper level. From up there, I watched Mark smiled as he reached the rocket. "That's not fair. You had advantage." I smiled. "Oh poor baby. I'm sure you'll figure something out." He smiled, his smile was truly special. Sencire, yet childish. "I'll come up and get you." He said. "No!" I called. "I'll be right down. Let me take the slide." I said. Then, he said three magical words, I had never heard anyone tell me before. "I'll catch you." Dissapointed? Let's hope not. You can just imagine how hard and fast my heart was pounding. I felt it was going to free itself from my chest. I climbed down the top ladder and sat on the slide. I looked down at Mark, who had his arms open, ready to catch me. I was nervous. I was scared. I pushed off. My hair was flying behind me. He raised his arms to catch me, I raised mine so he could. And then, without warning, or even a slight hint of what his actions would be, he kissed me as I literally slide into his arms. And it was one word. Beautiful. I kissed back and we stayed like that for several wonderful minutes. There wasn't anything awkard about it. Just a kiss. Unexpected, but that's the best kind. When we pushed back, and it took us some time to push back, Mark grabbed my hand and walked me over to the swings. And he pushed me as I swung high in the sky. And then... And then what happened? We left.

I opened the door to my house and started to walk in dancing. Darry looked at me with one 'wtf' looks that I was so used to now a days. Katie and Soda where there and they smiled at me, followed by Soda telling something about me to Darry that I couldn't quite hear, but defenetley about me. I walked into my room and lay down in the bed. I couldn't sleep. I wasn't tired. All I could think of where two things: Mark. And a thank-you note for Jamie.

Look Around You, All This People Didn't Make It.

2010-01-13T21:43:00.008-06:00

I had enough of it. I couldn't wait. It couldn't wait. Not another day, not another second. I had been spending all day over at the hospital with Two-Bit, since last night. I didn't even bother to go to school. He needed someone there, and I was not going to let him go through all of this alone just because I had to learn some stupid shit. But when Blair and Jamie and Brooke and the rest of the gang, except Darry and Sodapop who were working, showed up, I figured Two-Bit was well taken cared of. So I decided to do something that had been bothering me for some time now. I went over to the first pay phone I could find and called Talan. I only requested one thing. His care and a bit of luck. I was kind of tired, but that could wait, while what I needed to do, couldn't. Not if I wanted to succeed. I sneak around the hospital and don't ask how, but I got hold of a nurse's costume. Mission: Get Ponyboy out of there for a ride he will never forget. I avoided the gang's whereabouts and headed to Ponyboy's room. Yes, they were in the same hospital. Lucky me. There was no one there. I almost felt bad for Pony. But he didn't mind, he was asleep. I shook him to wake up and told him to get ready. Of course he was like: "What the fuck KitKat?!" I didn't look at him, I just got him out of bed and placed a 'disguize' in his place. I threw him some clothes and once he was dressed, I grabbed him by the shirt and got out. He kept asking questions over and over again, but I kept shutting him up. You just can't stay quiet can you Pony? We almost reached the elevator when another nurse bump into us. Pony frooze and I'm pretty sure I did the same, but immediatly let it go. The nurse eyed Pony and then back at me. "Where are you taking young Mr. Curtis?" She asked. I'm pretty sure Pony was about to scream: "She's kidnapping me!" But I stepped on his left foot and spoke. "He needs check-up. I'm taking him to Dr. (I made the name up) Hamilton's office. He's been under observation far too long and the purple lids under his eyes are sign of uncessfull recovery." The nurse smiled and I did the same. Thank god I took health class once. "Very well. See you later Mr. Curtis." She said and went her way. I pressed the elevator's door and once it opened got in, dragging Ponyboy with me. He chuckled and said: "You could make a good nurse." I didn't even look at him, but with a cold tone just said. "Shut up."

I took him out of the hospital through the back door. He was still confused but I figure, still too drunk to make sense out of anything. I smiled as Talan was there, waiting, leaning on his car door. "Hey." He said. "Hi." Pony looked at me with a face of 'and this is?...' "Talan this is Ponyboy, my younger brother. We're going for a ride and I need someone to cover for him. Would you mind?" I said as Pony and Talan shook hands. He looked from me to Ponyboy and then back to me. "I guess that explains the nurse's costume. Don't worry Kit. I'll cover for him." I smiled and got closer to whisper in his ear what he needed to do. He smiled and hand me his keys. "Don't worry. Easy enough." I smiled and watched Talan walk back to the hospital. I got Pony on the passenger's seat and got in myself. I turned the engine on and started to drive. Finally Ponyboy said: "Where the hell are we going?" I kept my glanze straight in the road. "You'll find out soon enough." It took me ten minutes to get to my destination. I don't usually drive around town, and it kind of pissed me off when I had to stop at EVERY SINGLE red light. But anyway, we got there. I shut the door behind me and Pony looked at me with an expression that clearly said 'WTF?!' For all of you who haven't figured it out. We were in a graveyard. Yay. "Just walk." I said to Pony and he followed without question. Good boy. We went around the graveyard for a long time. Through rows and rows of tombstones. Until we finally reached the line I was most interested in. I turned to look at Pony. "What do you see?" He turned to look at me with another 'WTF?!' expression but answered. "Tombstones? I guess." "What do you see in the tombstones?" "Names." I was pretty sure Pony thought I was retarted, asking all those questions, but they had to be asked. He needed to understand once and for all. "These are tombstones of people. People who died." See what I mean? "People who any day would love to switch places with you. People who didn't make it. Whose luck wasn't on their side. People who like you, thought nothing could happen to them." I took a deep breath and started to read the names in five tombstones. "Lisa Patterson. She died at 15. Got hit by a car, drunk." I pointed to another tombstone. "Richard Auron. Died at 19. Alcoholic." Next. "Betty Williams. Died at 13. Alcoholic." Next. "Dwayne Wright. Died at 16. Car crash while drunk." I walked over to the last tombstone. This one didn't have a name on it. Or a date. It was just there, waiting for another helpless soul to protect. "And you, if you continue to do what you are doing." Ponyboy looked at me with fear and confusion. He was speechless. Probably horrified. And that was a good thing. If it took a good scare to finally make him come to his senses, then a scare was what he was going to get. "I'm going to tell you this as an adult. You're are going to die if you don't cut it out. And your name will be encripted into this stone. You want that? You were lucky to survive this one. Don't push your luck Ponyboy, 'cause luck is famous to turn its back on you when you most need it. This people drank for the same reasons you and I drink. 'Cause it helps us clear our mind. It helps us forget we're greasers. I'm sorry for the way I have been leaving my life. I'm going to stop too. And it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really tough, but I'm willing to do it, 'cause I want to be a better person. And so should you." There was a long pause. But then, I continued. "It's not worth it, Pony. Life's too short to waste it on getting high. And I'm sorry I realized it so late. Maybe, if I had realized it before, I could have prevented this. But it didn't and I just got to deal with it. When you passed out and ended it the hospital, that was the biggest wake-up call I ever had. It's the biggest wake-up call you ever had. Choose the right path Pony. Don't make the sames mistakes I did, or that this people did. I can't rewind the past and change it, but I change the future. And so can you." I walked towards Pony and hugged him. Hugged him as hard as I could. And never let go. "Now, you're going to get back to that hospital and you're going to get better. Or I'll beat the hell out of you." I said and we both laugh.